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(Stuff) Unlikely Man who knocked up his son's 18-year-old girlfriend and then tried to run him over with the family car says he hopes everyone can just get along again   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 80
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goeniegoegoe 2008-02-10 06:45:55 AM  
The couple spent their days watching TV and DVDs on the house-bus, which had a long-drop toilet outside their bedroom window.

Why am I not surprised?

 
z_gringo [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 07:06:07 AM  
"Krystal is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We're in love, it's as simple as that, and it's awesome."

In other words. Holy crap, I found an 18 year old girl willing to have sex with me! Nothing else matters!

 
SherKhan 2008-02-10 07:22:11 AM  
Tauranga man James Bowring was found guilty two weeks ago of recklessly operating a motor vehicle

Triangle man frowns upon such shenanigans but Peking man says he kinda understands in a there but for the grace of Ti-Tsang Wang goes I way but due to his primitive nature giggles when he says "Wang".

(Director's commentary)

While researching ancient chinese gods I came across P'an-Chin-Lien. goddess of prostitutes. She was a good sport about it and surprisingly affordable. (Do you want to know more?)

 
RabidDog [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 07:45:24 AM  
WTF is a long-drop toilet, and what does that have to do with anything?

I'm picturing an 18 year old girl sticking her ass out the bedroom window over a hole in the ground.

 
z_gringo [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 08:00:18 AM  
RabidDog: I'm picturing an 18 year old girl sticking her ass out the bedroom window over a hole in the ground.

heheh..

 
z_gringo [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 08:02:07 AM  
RabidDog: WTF is a long-drop toilet

I apparently would call it an outhouse.

 
z_gringo [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 08:02:44 AM  
outhouse (new window)

 
Naugahyde Donkey 2008-02-10 08:57:12 AM  
Dad?

 
ThatWomanFromMassachusetts [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 09:13:59 AM  
Man who knocked up his son's 18-year-old girlfriend and then tried to run him over with the family car ...

Wait ... what?

 
tin_man [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 09:37:44 AM  
I bet she's a fatty.

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 10:26:28 AM  
Well . . .
Torture for the father
Remand to a psych ward for the gf
Treatment as necessary for the bf

Agreed?

 
mabelkitty 2008-02-10 10:27:35 AM  
So there is apparently a lack of access to 18-year old girls in this gene pool?

 
mabelkitty 2008-02-10 10:30:39 AM  
Um, yeah, I guess I answered my own question. Unless you take into consideration family members:

He had been to prison for various offences and talked of a "life of misery" featuring sexual abuse as a child, broken relationships, work as a male prostitute and a six-month sexual relationship with a younger sibling.

 
bubba56176 2008-02-10 10:31:14 AM  
This sucks with out pics of all involved.

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 10:32:17 AM  
bubba56176: This sucks with out pics of all involved.

i180.photobucket.com

 
discovery10 2008-02-10 10:32:25 AM  
So if your name is Krystal, are you obligated by law to be a stupid whore? Seriously. I don't think I've ever met a girl named Krystal that wasn't a stupid ghetto whore.

 
Bith Set Me Up 2008-02-10 10:32:41 AM  
images.usatoday.com

I told you to take a seat right over there...

 
NHmike 2008-02-10 10:33:05 AM  
I don't know about you guys, but I find it very comforting to know that there is no farking way my life will ever be this farked up.

I will gladly revel in the stupidity of others. It makes me all warm and toasty.

 
Software2 2008-02-10 10:35:50 AM  
z_gringo: "Krystal is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We're in love, it's as simple as that, and it's awesome."

In other words. Holy crap, I found an 18 year old girl willing to have sex with me! Nothing else matters!


Is he wrong?

 
mmatheos 2008-02-10 10:36:40 AM  
Anyone seen "Once Were Warriors?"

The article/story makes a lot of sense now since I have.

 
madden101 2008-02-10 10:37:03 AM  
tin_man: I bet she's a fatty.

She's gotta be. I keep trying to picture her as a hottie, but no self-respecting hot chick would stoop that low. I guess we need pics to confirm this.

/unless she's a fatty

 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 10:37:13 AM  
Bith Set Me Up: I told you to take a seat right over there...

18's legal everywhere

 
bubba56176 2008-02-10 10:38:35 AM  
I Said
thanks for the pic much better now

 
PassTheProzac 2008-02-10 10:39:05 AM  
FTFA: He said marriage was now on the cards with Krystal, who was 14 weeks pregnant, and the pair wanted to have "as many kids as we can afford to care for.

and

The odd couple, who live in Bowring senior's house-bus on family land at Te Puna,

Well... they live in a bus, so that'll seat how many?

 
Oldiron_79 2008-02-10 10:39:58 AM  
Bith Set Me Up: I told you to take a seat right over there...

17 y 364 d= Have a seat over here

18 y= Giggity.

 
KnightsFolly [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 10:40:05 AM  
RabidDog: I'm picturing an 18 year old girl sticking her ass out the bedroom window over a hole in the ground.

/sudden urge to read 'The Miller's Tale' again

 
pinch_harmonics 2008-02-10 10:40:17 AM  
mmatheos: Anyone seen "Once Were Warriors?"

The article/story makes a lot of sense now since I have.


Dude, that's a great movie. Sad as fark, but great.

/Jake The Muss

 
missmika 2008-02-10 10:40:34 AM  
wow this family is seriously farked up!

Who the fark would want to live in a bus and shiat in a hole in the ground with some old smelly hobo! That girl belongs in Florida... but I guess NZ is the next best place for those sorts of people!

It keeps them out of Aus anyways ;)

 
Jazzycat 2008-02-10 10:42:06 AM  
A long drop toilet? Maybe they like causing a splash...

 
mom_dropped_me 2008-02-10 10:42:36 AM  
Well shoot. They got West Virginians in New Zealand too.

 
HMS_Blinkin 2008-02-10 10:44:14 AM  
Bith Set Me Up: I told you to take a seat right over there...

No, you don't! Not this time! She's 18!

 
LocalCynic 2008-02-10 10:46:11 AM  
This thread needs more Pedobear.

 
ElMuerte 2008-02-10 10:49:48 AM  
RabidDog:
I'm picturing an 18 year old girl sticking her ass out the bedroom window over a hole in the ground.



That's hot.

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 10:51:55 AM  
FTFA: He had been to prison for various offences and talked of a "life of misery" featuring sexual abuse as a child, broken relationships, work as a male prostitute and a six-month sexual relationship with a younger sibling.

FTFA: James admitted he had "a few other kids around the country ... but I never stayed with the mothers, I was only really a sperm donor. I was spreading the love around."

Um, women . . .WTF? You aren't helping by enabling him to breed.

 
skinink 2008-02-10 10:54:15 AM  
If the house bus is a rockin',
Her 18 year old ovaries are getting a knockin'!

 
tampaflacouple 2008-02-10 10:55:58 AM  
Amazed that Florida wasn't dragged into this in some way.

 
hugram 2008-02-10 10:56:58 AM  
This thread is useful without pics... Every time fark has some sort of weird and kinky sex story, the story is ruined when the article actually does have a picture.

 
autopsybeverage 2008-02-10 10:58:29 AM  
PassTheProzac: FTFA: He said marriage was now on the cards with Krystal, who was 14 weeks pregnant, and the pair wanted to have "as many kids as we can afford to care for.

and

The odd couple, who live in Bowring senior's house-bus on family land at Te Puna,

Well... they live in a bus, so that'll seat how many?


Well, as I recall, th bus I rode to school was easily capable of seating about 36 plus the driver, so...

 
SonOfSpam 2008-02-10 10:58:55 AM  
It sounded like the son was the only rational person involved, until I read this: "I don't care. The worst thing about it all is that now he can't fix my cars," Jacob told Sunday News.

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 11:02:01 AM  
imagecache2.allposters.com

You just made the biggest mistake of your life baby. I know you're gonna be missing me when you've got that cold white body on top of you, with his loose skin, and his old balls...gross.

 
Ihaveanevilparrot 2008-02-10 11:02:35 AM  
Does New Zealand have something like Jerry Springer for these type of people?

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 11:03:03 AM  
SonOfSpam: It sounded like the son was the only rational person involved, until I read this: "I don't care. The worst thing about it all is that now he can't fix my cars," Jacob told Sunday News.

Eh, he's writing off his dad and ex-gf. Moving forward as quickly as possible, I hope.

If that's the case, still rational and more level-headed then most people.

 
LittleGreenMen 2008-02-10 11:04:19 AM  
This story has 'Florida' and 'Spears' written all over it.

 
discovery10 2008-02-10 11:04:20 AM  
Serious question: Has anyone ever met a chick named Krystal or Crystal that wasn't a raging ghetto whorebag? I haven't. I'm wondering if I'm the only one.

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 11:12:06 AM  
discovery10: Serious question: Has anyone ever met a chick named Krystal or Crystal that wasn't a raging ghetto whorebag? I haven't. I'm wondering if I'm the only one.

I knew a fat one who wasn't because no one would touch her. Not that she didn't try.

We called her snuffuluffagus.

Does this help?

 
discovery10 2008-02-10 11:13:22 AM  
I Said

mmmmm, I don't think that counts because she was TRYING. My challenge stands...

 
SithLord 2008-02-10 11:14:24 AM  
The sad thing is I know a guy that this happened to.

Had a kid with his girlfriend after high school (she wasn't much of a looker honestly), and found out that she had been cheating on him with his dad only because he came home and found them in his bed.

That was more than 10 years ago. Guy still doesn't chat with his father at all.

\cool guy
\\Helped remodel one of my bathrooms this week

 
trapped-in-CH 2008-02-10 11:24:54 AM  
I know a Crystal who's in her 80s. She doesn't seem to fit the profile the rest of you are experiencing. I know another Crystal in her 30s who's a bit butch, but not stupid or a whore. Although I swear she hit on me once.

 
discovery10 2008-02-10 11:29:10 AM  
trapped-in-CH 2008-02-10 11:24:54 AM
I know a Crystal who's in her 80s. She doesn't seem to fit the profile the rest of you are experiencing.


In THE 80s or in HER 80s? I've never met a Crystal older than 25.

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 11:32:59 AM  
trapped-in-CH: I know a Crystal who's in her 80s.

I bet that Fast Dolly was Radioactive because of all the Back seat bingo she did in her day.

 
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