fuggin' hilarious.

+1

Bwahahahaha! Excellent. Elegant in its simplicity.

I've driven my company's Hambulance before, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies...

/just thinking about it makes my back hurt
//and gives me the urge to go hike a few miles while snacking on veggies
///by the way, +1

Hello? 911? I'll take some paramedics and a pair-a-donuts.

"Fat fat fat!"
"What?"
"Fat fatty fat fat!"
"I'm not that fat."

/Springtime for Hitler

FTFA: "...there is increased requirements for the use of these trucks"

/Oh, and +1!!!

mmmm bacon flavoured emergency vehicles

Was anybody else hoping it was going to be an article about hamster paramedics? Because I really was.

+1 anyway.

god, i'm glad i'll never be like that. hard to get huge bing a REAL veggie. not a bread and pasta veggie; i eat lots of VEGGIEs.

could use to convert a FEW of the pounds or mate move them around a bit.

as my "aunt" says... just a little bit of redistribution.

have a female friend who weighs more than TWICE me. *shudder*

booze doesn't help... saps the motivation to work out plus the beer... what's that called? "liquid bread"? *heh heh* *hic*

Cryptonomicon: Was anybody else hoping it was going to be an article about hamster paramedics? Because I really was.

+1 anyway.

+1 AND +1 Subby

Fuggin´ backward-ass Aussies. Over here in ´mer´kuh we need flatbeds to transport our DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN-superobese.

/With props to Gabriel Iglesias

/approves of new trucks

Headline is full of WIN

I say make them run to the hospital. It just makes sense.

Hey Fatty...I got a movie for ya'...A Fridge Too Far!

One word: Darwin.

Don't all normal ambulances have a "Jaws of Life" as standard equipment?
Problem solved. Cut and stack.

Jebus. I only weigh 77 kilograms or about 11 stone ;)

Don't all normal ambulances have a "Jaws of Life"

No. Fire & Rescue might, but not a "regular" ambulance.

The training for Hurst Tools ('jaws') is part of fire training, not EMS, though a lot of emergency workers are dual certified.

/And I have had to lift 500-pounders.

co-conspirator: /And I have had to lift 500-pounders.

Doesn't that suck? Thank god for the Man-Sac, that's all I have to say.

Whats wrong with a flat bed truck? Or just turning around and saying, your too farking fat, so, um, we're refusing you service.

I mean, seriously, if your 200Kb(440Lbs) you are a serious problem, it'll take more people to lift you, which means less people to help others, you cost more to fix(like the higher costs for an ambulance), and your probably going to require more health care costing society more. Other then the rare medical conditions that make people that fat naturally, there is no excuse for weighing half as much as a pinto

Bravo, subby.

girljen: co-conspirator: /And I have had to lift 500-pounders.

Doesn't that suck? Thank god for the Man-Sac, that's all I have to say.

I'm sorry girljen... but it's quite hilarious and refreshing to hear you say 'thank god for the man-sac'... but not for the reasons you intended I'm sure!

/schoolboy giggles
/has a nice man-sac

Best headline in a very long time.

/don't eat the thin guy

FTAEach vehicle costs about $150,000 to fit out, which is about three times the cost of a standard ambulance, NSW Health Minister Reba Meagher told today's launch.

Ok seriously, It costs $70,000 Dollars to purchase and equip a bare minimum ambulance. To equip to paramedic level costs around $1oo,ooo. In a van type ambulance. A Box type is closer to $160,000. Of course this is in the US where we have some of the most advanced EMS response in the world. Has something to do with profit motive and better customer service.

/Nationally Registered Emergency Medical Technician - Paramedic.

thalidomide new and improved: /don't eat......anything for three months

Is that farking frosting?

thalidomide new and improved
sad thing is, that woman would probably look pretty if she cut down to one pint of ice cream every other day.

also, I guess we should all be investing in companies that make plus-sized lingerie.

Is there not a point where it becomes more cost-effective to bring the doctor to the patient instead?

Daddakamabb
hahaha I just assumed it was ice cream. Yeah I think that's frosting. OK if you eat two cans of frosting straight up, you got some problems.

How about they just don't, and let the problem sort itself out?

SpinStopper: Jebus. I only weigh 77 kilograms or about 11 stone ;)

This.

I have most of the metric conversions for length, speed, etc. in my head but not mass, as I don't use them that often... apparently I weigh about 80 kg, so the concept of someone being two of me and then some... (shudder) then think about there being FOUR HUNDRED of them...?

ZzeusS
How about they just don't, and let the problem sort itself out?

That's been tried with whales. If you let a carcass just sit there with gases building up inside, the carcass may explode and the resulting mess is a biatch to clean up.

\making a sick joke
\\please don't leave people to die
\\\don't enable their massive obesity in the first place

ironicsky: Whats wrong with a flat bed truck? Or just turning around and saying, your too farking fat, so, um, we're refusing you service.

I mean, seriously, if your 200Kb(440Lbs) you are a serious problem, it'll take more people to lift you, which means less people to help others, you cost more to fix(like the higher costs for an ambulance), and your probably going to require more health care costing society more. Other then the rare medical conditions that make people that fat naturally, there is no excuse for weighing half as much as a pinto

This is why someone invented cattle carts. Slap an appropriate paint job on it, put a forklift on board and away you go.
/sadly I'm being serious.

Egalitarian: That's been tried with whales.

Like this? (new window)

Bad_ad85: "Fat fat fat!"
"What?"
"Fat fatty fat fat!"
"I'm not that fat."

/Springtime for Hitler

Thanks for getting that song stuck in my head!

Daddakamabb: thalidomide new and improved: /don't eat......anything for three months

Is that farking frosting?

No, that's actually her stomach. Pretty gross, huh?

starsrift: Is there not a point where it becomes more cost-effective to bring the doctor to the patient instead?

That depends on what kind of price/timetable you can get from the contractor to cut the giant hole in the side of the house so you can roll the human beach-ball outside.

autopsybeverage: starsrift: Is there not a point where it becomes more cost-effective to bring the doctor to the patient instead?

That depends on what kind of price/timetable you can get from the contractor to cut the giant hole in the side of the house so you can roll the human beach-ball outside.

Nonono.

These used to be called "house-calls". The doctor goes to the patient's home. To their bedroom, or couch, or whatever.

While obviously, surgery requiring many many fancy machines can't be deployed "in the field" per se, there is a lot a doctor can still do.

I give it 10 years before this

These will be popular Milwaukee.

Future ambulance:



/don't care if I'm not the first

starsrift: Nonono.

These used to be called "house-calls". The doctor goes to the patient's home. To their bedroom, or couch, or whatever.

Yeah, right. Say hi to Snuffy Smith and Jed Clampett when you walk by their homesteads for me.

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Future ambulance:



/don't care if I'm not the first

Wheeled Coach(an ambulance manufacturer) Did one on that chassis a few years ago as publicity stunt.

approves.

I find it funny that sumo wrestling died in Japan (as was pronounced on fark.com a year ago). I'm sure it would be the best Japanese sport in America.

I can see it now sumo wrestling in rednecks bars...... holy fark!! somebody get me some mind bleach!!!

From the "ham" thing, I thought this would be about William Shatner having a heart attack or something.

Thread does not deliver.

Oh, and caine314... you will pay for that pic. You will pay most dearly.

/stabs out eyes
//oh god, my brain still holds the image
///stabs out bra-jhf 567 $JN^B6=

caine314

I hate you.

/how the FARK does someone get that fat
//no, seriously, explain it to me