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(ventura star) Amusing Prisoner #1: Whaddaya in for? Prisoner #2: GTA. Prisoner #1: What kinda car? Prisoner #2: No, grand theft avocado   (venturacountystar.com) divider line 28
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28 Comments   (+0 »)


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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 04:47:07 AM  
He shouldn't take such crimes for pomegranate.

Lettuce reflect on his misdeeds and do what we can to beet back these criminal tendencies.

 
rcain [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 05:02:11 AM  
www.avocadocentral.com

No one ever talks about the ravages of guacamole addiction.
It always ends in tragedy.

 
Software2 2008-02-10 05:03:07 AM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: He shouldn't take such crimes for pomegranate.

Lettuce reflect on his misdeeds and do what we can to beet back these criminal tendencies.


I need to beet you to a pulp for that.

 
a17rwk 2008-02-10 05:07:10 AM  
+1 subby



/not

 
gigamortis [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-02-10 05:09:06 AM  
Avocado's are worth jail time.

 
kid_charlemagne 2008-02-10 05:11:12 AM  
Yo quiero avocado abogado.

 
thehypercube 2008-02-10 05:19:29 AM  
Wow, that's the pits...

 
nautimike 2008-02-10 05:24:00 AM  
Hey, avocado has gotten expensive. How else are you supposed to make guacamole? Or turkey, bacon, and avocado sandwiches for that matter...
/(in a Peter Potamus voice) Mmm, sammich.

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2008-02-10 05:28:45 AM  
...And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things...

 
Software2 2008-02-10 05:29:10 AM  
nautimike: Hey, avocado has gotten expensive. How else are you supposed to make guacamole? Or turkey, bacon, and avocado sandwiches for that matter...
/(in a Peter Potamus voice) Mmm, sammich.


Simple. Just replace the avocados with bacon.

/Better replace the turkey too.

 
21-7-b 2008-02-10 05:31:59 AM  
it's creating a new underclass right in front of our eyes, and yet, as usual, the politicians will sit back and do nothing until it affects them personally

 
Radworld4 2008-02-10 05:46:06 AM  
Sat what you will about the headline but "Grand Theft Avacado" makes for a great band name.

 
carnifderome 2008-02-10 05:51:48 AM  
Since when is $100 serious enough for felony status? And does that ever change for inflation? Didn't the guys in the old west have to steal a hell of a lot more than dopes today to get a felony?

 
a17rwk 2008-02-10 06:15:28 AM  
morning_foil

That's my cat! haha

/Did that in photoshop last year

 
DsRsF 2008-02-10 06:24:45 AM  
From the comments:

"Avocado theft is a serious thing. Community service? How can you say this without checking into his background? I have it on good authority that this may be the man who is responsible for over 100 fruit/vegetable related thefts in and around Ventura County. I met a guy behind the Tipsy Fox the other night who told me that he believes the Mexican Mafia is running this ring of thieves. This could just be the tip of the iceberg, LadyEdHD. Please wait for the facts before you pass judgement. And another thing...don't you find it interesting that this latest rash of agricultural thefts is woefully under-reported?? hmmmmm"

LaWL!

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 06:28:08 AM  
21-7-b: it's creating a new underclass right in front of our eyes, and yet, as usual, the politicians will sit back and do nothing until it affects them personally

Dude... wait, what?

 
Jamieboy 2008-02-10 07:17:45 AM  
$100 worth of avocados in his back back, running through a river bed. I was at a street market yesterday, and avocados were going for $1.25 each. Thats what, 80 avocados? I can't see myself running through a river bed with a back pack with 80 avocados, unless they were the size of cherries. How much are avocados in Fillmore? Is Mr. Casillas a huge strapping man? So much left unanswered by TFA.

/never typed the word 'avocados' so many times in my life.

 
shubai33 [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 07:27:40 AM  
Jamieboy: $100 worth of avocados in his back back, running through a river bed. I was at a street market yesterday, and avocados were going for $1.25 each. Thats what, 80 avocados? I can't see myself running through a river bed with a back pack with 80 avocados, unless they were the size of cherries. How much are avocados in Fillmore? Is Mr. Casillas a huge strapping man? So much left unanswered by TFA.

/never typed the word 'avocados' so many times in my life.


Not only that but what is the wholesale price of avocados since he picked them right from the farm? If they're $1.25 in the store they gotta be what? 80-90cents from the source as it were? Which would put him in the range of 111 to 125 avocados.

 
State_College_Arsonist 2008-02-10 08:26:53 AM  
Who is Number One?!

/You are Number Six

 
GBallOSU 2008-02-10 08:58:49 AM  
Dammit rcain I'm really hungry now...

 
RKTeuthis 2008-02-10 10:49:37 AM  
Something is fishy here.

But maybe they charge theft by retail price of the delicious buttery-fleshed fruit?

 
erid 2008-02-10 11:38:44 AM  
I was hoping someone would ask that carnifderome. As it was explained to me in a class by an assistant D.A., felony grand theft in CA is generally classified when the goods taken are worth $400 or more. Unless you take certain kinds of produce or any of a long list of other exceptions. The only real difference is somebody hired better lobbyists and got the law changed. So $100 worth of avocados is indeed a felony in CA.

 
SlowTimedRapid 2008-02-10 11:55:22 AM  
Maybe the magistrates made the mistake of translating "avocado" historically/etymologically...

 
Virulency 2008-02-10 12:07:29 PM  
+1 never saw that coming... GTA... lol...

 
bobfo rapples 2008-02-10 01:11:45 PM  
Day_Old_Dutchie: ...And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things...

This with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that

 
mangocop 2008-02-10 01:31:18 PM  
erid: As it was explained to me in a class by an assistant D.A., felony grand theft in CA is generally classified when the goods taken are worth $400 or more.

The trade association, Calavo, is pretty powerful. They probably negotiated the $100 felony charges with the legislature. Still, if he was running down a riverbed at this time of year, even with a full-size backpack, that can't be a whole lot of fruit. The most common variety grown for market is Hass, which are fairly large avocados.

Agricultural crime is rampant, it's difficult to investigate and the returns are right up there with drug running. The San Joaquin almond and walnut growers lose significant parts of their crops to nut rustlers every season.

/Avocado growers refer to the fruit as green gold.

 
Grand_Theft_Audio 2008-02-10 01:45:09 PM  
RadWorld4...

Grand Theft Audio actually was a great band name.

/has their only CD
//British rockers

 
Phocas 2008-02-10 06:51:37 PM  
Used to work in Ventura County setting out bug traps in fruit trees for the state. My boss firmly instructed us to never pick an avocado, not even one lying on the ground. I know this law seems pretty harsh in this case, but the farmers (family and corporate) were getting hit pretty hard by professional thieves working out of the Los Angeles area. Imagine your work of an entire year vanishing overnight. You'd be pretty ticked off, too.

 
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