Hitler?

/I thought that was the answer to all rhetorical questions on Fark.

Santa!

Occam's Chainsaw: Hitler?

/I thought that was the answer to all rhetorical questions on Fark.

"Florida" or "C" are also acceptable answers.

That gets a "What a retard" and "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet...." out of me at the same time...I don't want the kid's life to be destroyed, but what the bajesus made him think that was clever?

That was probably the most horribly written article ever. It gave me a farking headache.

I like news articles to be written in paragraph form with some kind of flow; that was just 20 sequentially written questions. Read like a damn math test.

That's pretty hefty.

That's some damn fine reporting.

The journalist is also a stupid 17-year-old, it seems.

Apparently, it seems so, indeed.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wow. The Dumbass tag must be having a smoke break or something...

Sheesh.

Also:

unicron702: That was probably the most horribly written article ever.

It gave me a farking headache.

I like news articles to be written in paragraph form with some kind of flow.;

tThat was just 20 sequentially written questions.

Read like a damn math test.

FTFY. (This is Fark; reading TFA is optional.)

Wow you farking kids are such Noobs. We did this back in the 80s and Did NOT get pulled over for DUIs.

You guys weren't kidding -- that article was written by an idiot.

BenjaminFarklin: unicron702: That was probably the most horribly written article ever.

It gave me a farking headache.

I like news articles to be written in paragraph form with some kind of flow.;

tThat was just 20 sequentially written questions.

Read like a damn math test.

FTFY. (This is Fark; reading TFA is optional.)

What's wrong with math tests and how they're written?

a) Nothing
b) Everything
c) All of the above
d) None of the above
e) Pi

He's 17. The law treats anyone under 18 as a minor, and I don't see why there should be exceptions. So, he's being tried as an adult? Why is that legal? If he's tried as an adult, can he refuse additional car rental charges because he's "not a minor"? It's bull. You're either a full adult or you're not. If you're gonna draw a line in the sand and say until you're 18 you're a minor, you're just gonna hafta deal with minors being stupid.

And really, who wasn't dumb as a kid?

/Don't get me started on drinking laws.....21 to drink, 18 to vote and shoot a gun in war?!?!?! What insanity...

After reading her other articles, it appears that this is just the author's "style", writing in much the same manner as she would probably speak.

Of course, chugging antifreeze as a child would probably mess up your speech as well, so I dunno how well this "style" helps her journalistic career.

Paragraphs? Fark 'em. Who needs em?

/Quad cities, single sentences

//thats how we roll, biatch

Great way to meet chicks! Have them pull over on the side of the road and...

/Chris Hansen would like me to have a seat now.

I think the more important part of the page was the poll question on the right:

It's been a wild week: Super Bowl upset, Super Tuesday votes, crazy storms, and deadly shootings. Do you think all of the craziness has anything to do with cabin fever?

What a wacky question.

BenjaminFarklin: unicron702: That was probably the most horribly written article ever.

It gave me a farking headache.

I like news articles to be written in paragraph form with some kind of flow.;

tThat was just 20 sequentially written questions.

Read like a damn math test.

FTFY. (This is Fark; reading TFA is optional.)

I missed your funny. The fact that I commented on how the article itself was written shows that I read TFA. Unless your being sarcastic.

Please explain the funny.

YixilTesiphon: That gets a "What a retard" and "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet...." out of me at the same time...I don't want the kid's life to be destroyed, but what the bajesus made him think that was clever?

That's a pretty good Clay Davis you do there.

Anton Chigurh was much better at faking the funk, I would say.

FatherDale: You guys weren't kidding -- that article was written by an idiot.

And the author would herself agree (new window)

Beckwith said the officer was especially shook up when his wife said that, if she had been alone, she would have pulled over.

If it had been my mother or one of my sisters on that particularly dark stretch of road, just after midnight, being pulled over by a non-cop, I would be enormously unhappy.

Fixed it for him.

Maybe I'm just a cold bastard, but I feel no sympathy at all for him. Felony charges sound about right to me.

That's some good impersonatin' there Lou!

Phil Moskowitz: YixilTesiphon: That gets a "What a retard" and "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet...." out of me at the same time...I don't want the kid's life to be destroyed, but what the bajesus made him think that was clever?

That's a pretty good Clay Davis you do there.

I'm glad I don't know what you're talking about.

Jeep: He's 17. The law treats anyone under 18 as a minor, and I don't see why there should be exceptions. So, he's being tried as an adult? Why is that legal? If he's tried as an adult, can he refuse additional car rental charges because he's "not a minor"? It's bull. You're either a full adult or you're not. If you're gonna draw a line in the sand and say until you're 18 you're a minor, you're just gonna hafta deal with minors being stupid.

And really, who wasn't dumb as a kid?

/Don't get me started on drinking laws.....21 to drink, 18 to vote and shoot a gun in war?!?!?! What insanity...

It gets the ignorant and stupid to support politicians on the "law 'n' order" ticket.

I'm sorry, but when was it legal to have your vehicle decked like a patrol car? Hmmmmm, been wandering the states for a few decades and I don't recall ever hearing about that being legal. And of course the parents aren't going to like the idea; it would mean they would have to admit they didn't do such a great job raising their snowflake.

I was a reporter years ago and covered a story about a guy who went around pulling over women while posing as a cop, complete with flashing light, fake badge and a gun. He'd then kidnap them and rape them on a lonely road. Six victims we knew about, probably more who never came forward. Only a matter of time before he killed one of them.

So, yeah, I think felony charges about right for this kid.

Do a big boy's crime, do a big boy's time son.

/BTW...where were mommy and daddy when their precious snowflake was tricking out the car???

If that were an article, I'd agree with you all about it being poorly written. But that's a column. A viewpoint piece by Barb Ickes (pronounced i-kiss). I used to work with her and she is anything but an idiot.

Here would be the actual news article published by the QC Times. (new window)

I do need to thank you all for proving something. For years, we were told that opinion pieces needed to be clearly labeled because the average reader wasn't smart enough to distinguish it from an article.

nashBridges: The Wire beats them all.

I second that emotion. Except that BSG has that smokin' Korean chick.

nashBridges:
If you haven't already, watch "The Wire".

It's probably the best show in the history of television. And I've watched The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Homicide, the new BattleStar Galactica, and Farscape.

The Wire beats them all.

QFT. I'm so pissed I'm at school and don't get HBO. It will, however, make it that much better to sit down and watch all of the 5th season on on-demand. I have to say, though, that from what I did catch of the first two episodes, this whole "Baltimore Sun" theme wasn't making for much entertainment. I guess I'll see how that works out when I get home.

As for the a-hole with the lights in his whip, I think one good back-room beating from a few of the boys in blue would scare him straight. Damn youth.

h0t5auce: If that were an article, I'd agree with you all about it being poorly written. But that's a column. A viewpoint piece by Barb Ickes (pronounced i-kiss). I used to work with her and she is anything but an idiot.

Here would be the actual news article published by the QC Times. (new window)

I do need to thank you all for proving something. For years, we were told that opinion pieces needed to be clearly labeled because the average reader wasn't smart enough to distinguish it from an article.


It's still poorly written, whatever anyone decides to call it.

/opinions, like assholes, etc.

nashBridges: Meet the readers halfway.

Did one better and got out altogether. Now I'm just another clueless reader who won't buy their product.

"monumentally stupid"
HA! love it!

Just goes to show a minor does not have the maturity to be driving a car.
And for those who think it is ok because he is just a kid and does not know better, I think every state makes legal people get a drivers license and all of them say it is illegal to impersonate a cop in one way or another, if not I know drivers ed does. So this idiot has no defense as it was not a spur of the moment idea to do it.

nashBridges: There's a scene I consider most brilliant

"He called you?"

LOL.

I'll miss Prop Joe though. That was a likable crook.

0Icky0:

I'll miss Prop Joe though. That was a likable crook.

Thanks for that spoiler, douchey mc-doucherson.

I guess I could have seen it coming, though.

I would rather have that kid pull me over then a so called real cop. You would be much safer.

Stupid, yes. Criminal? No.

h0t5auce: I do need to thank you all for proving something. For years, we were told that opinion pieces needed to be clearly labeled because the average reader wasn't smart enough to distinguish it from an article.

Thank you for proving that newspaper writers are crappy journalists, whether they are writing opinion pieces or "news". This piece wouldn't get a "C" from my college English prof. It was crap. And her premise that the kid didn't do anything wrong was so far to the left it fell off the page. She's not only a poor writer, she's a moran.

And how did the kid manage to trick his car out with a full set of lights without Mommy and Daddy knowing what was going on? Part of the kids punishment should be to go without his car for a year. That way, Mommy will have to drive him around and she'll know what he's up to.

AgentMichaelScarn: Thanks for that spoiler, douchey mc-doucherson.

Don't worry. He retires to the Islands and lets Marlow take over his territory.
I'll still miss him though.

h0t5auce: If that were an article, I'd agree with you all about it being poorly written. But that's a column. A viewpoint piece by Barb Ickes (pronounced i-kiss). I used to work with her and she is anything but an idiot.

Here would be the actual news article published by the QC Times. (new window)

I do need to thank you all for proving something. For years, we were told that opinion pieces needed to be clearly labeled because the average reader wasn't smart enough to distinguish it from an article.

Unfortunately, some of the newspapers in my area employee staff members who don't know how to write grammatically-correct paragraphs. In fact, one of the front page editors of the newspaper for my town tried to apply for a permanent handicapped parking pass because he sliced the tip of his thumb off while preparing food for dinner. It literally was just the tip of his finger, just enough to take some skin and a bit of the nail. He tried that application at both the university's Parking Services office (they waited until he left before BWAHAHAing him) and the FL DMV office. So yes, I could easily believe that a "real" reporter, and not just an Opinions column writer, could write something that inane.

I work for a State Park. At the last park where I worked we had red and white flashers and the white "wa wa" strobes (we also had sirens, but I can't think of even once in the 4 years I was there when we used those). My new place doesn't have even lights, and, to be honest, I miss them. We used them when we had to close a road to remove a tree or some such, or when leading an ambulance through the park to where someone had been hurt/sick.

I still want the white strobes on my personal vehicle for when I have to stop along roadsides (I've stopped to help change tires, etc. and such more than once), but don't want the possibility of a ticket, so I don't have them.

If he had stuck to blue lights he might have gotten away with it. The cop would have thought that it was a volenteer Fireman. When I did that I had Blue LED's on my vehicle. Perfectly legal.

travelingsurfer: I would rather have that kid pull me over then a so called real cop. You would be much safer.

Why would you want to be pulled over twice?

So we shouldn't convict teens of a felony?

That's Hamsexy.

Obviously that writer is a Democrat.