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(New Zealand Herald) Stupid News: Police intervene in domestic fight. Fark: A pillow fight   (nzherald.co.nz) divider line 44
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44 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
 
buf7579 [TotalFark] 2008-02-09 10:15:18 PM  
Unavailable for comment:

www.mortystv.com

 
FunkOut [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 01:04:36 AM  
Hey, a pillow fight is better than what some couple in B.C. did today...jumped out of their taxi to argue in the middle of a highway. 8 cars in total are counted as having run them over.

Fighting couple run over on Trans-Canada (new window)

 
Hambone9 2008-02-10 01:07:24 AM  
Wow glad this guy doesnt get paid by the word.

If the devil is in the details this is one hol(e)y article.

 
FunkOut [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 01:07:30 AM  
Ah, hell, I'll submit that as a link now. But in case it doesn't make it...

 
I'm legal 2008-02-10 01:08:37 AM  
Why is this news? Did they have bricks in the pillows?

 
mypalmike 2008-02-10 01:09:54 AM  
The cop went down there and solved the pillow case. A feather in his cap.

/ Yawn

 
laars 2008-02-10 01:10:01 AM  
By Pillow Fight. they mean banging a Sheep.

 
Ernie McBert 2008-02-10 01:10:49 AM  
GIS for pillow fight:

i189.photobucket.com

Oh lawd.

 
Timov Cimota 2008-02-10 01:14:08 AM  
"husband was hitting her with a pillow, and when their daughter, 14, tried to intervene she was pushed aside"

Pics, or it didn't happen.

 
rabidferret 2008-02-10 01:17:10 AM  
No physical injuries were sustained in the attack, which has been classified as domestic violence.

I'm kinda amazed...but I'm sure somewhere in here there is at least one person doing it wrong.

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-02-10 01:18:32 AM  
Is it me, or do boys put something really heavy in their pillowslips like twenty five pounds of clothing before a pillow fight? Because growing up, my pillows were exactly the same as my little sister's, mom's, dad's, and ALL the guest bedroom pillows in the farking house...Sis and I used to pillow fights all the time, we were only 17 months apart and she was always 95% my size both height and weight, but she 100% my strength when she was in a good mood...so we basically broke even. But when company came over where there boys and pillow fights...it was like they stuffed puppies or kittens in those slips, and they would of course always knock me and Sis the fark over...I mean, what the hell?!!

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 01:19:07 AM  
rabidferret: No physical injuries were sustained in the attack, which has been classified as domestic violence.

I'm kinda amazed...but I'm sure somewhere in here there is at least one person doing it wrong.


Exactly how many pillow-inflicted battle wounds adorn your body?

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-02-10 01:20:38 AM  
^^^forgot to mention, Sis and I were World Champion Pillow Fight Champs "Feather" Weight, Girls Division. All the girls got their asses handed to them when they came to visit us with pillow in hand.

 
mypalmike 2008-02-10 01:22:04 AM  
img158.imageshack.us

 
FatherDale 2008-02-10 01:27:19 AM  
Sad that cops no longer have the discretion to say "OK, knock that crap off now." and walk away.

 
FatherDale 2008-02-10 01:31:13 AM  
FunkOut: Hey, a pillow fight is better than what some couple in B.C. did today...jumped out of their taxi to argue in the middle of a highway. 8 cars in total are counted as having run them over.

Fighting couple run over on Trans-Canada (new window)


Allow me to be the first to say "AAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAA! (catches breath) BWAahaahaHAAAAHAAHAAHAAA!

/feels sorry for the stiffed cabbie
//and the people who ran over those idiots
///starts laughing again

 
Felgraf 2008-02-10 01:37:37 AM  
Juniper Jupiter: ^^^forgot to mention, Sis and I were World Champion Pillow Fight Champs "Feather" Weight, Girls Division. All the girls got their asses handed to them when they came to visit us with pillow in hand.

Well, I don't know about everyone else, but when my brother and I used to pillow fight, we'd grab the edge of the pillow case , and swing it by that, thus causing the pillow to wad up in the end and become more bludgeon-like.

 
rabidferret 2008-02-10 01:45:48 AM  
Barakku:
Exactly how many pillow-inflicted battle wounds adorn your body?


OK, so I got hit by an arrow of +5 Snark.

Seriously though, that article is just weird. It sounds like that guy was very angry (tossing his daughter out of the way, police charging him with domestic violence, etc.) but he chooses to go with a pillow to do the beating.

I don't know if I should be thankful that a piece-of-crap wifebeater had the self-control to not use a hard object; or pity him because weaponized pillows are obviously meant for smotherings, not beatings.

 
47 is the new 42 2008-02-10 01:45:55 AM  
I'm legal: Why is this news? Did they have bricks in the pillows?

Looks at top of page: It's not news, it's FARK.com.

/If people say they're legal, that implies they either aren't, or just became legal.
//Of course, many people don't realize that in many states the legal age of consent is actually under 18. 18 is for smoking and filming porn.
///Having consensual sex is normally a different age.

 
12inpianist 2008-02-10 01:47:37 AM  
Juniper Jupiter

One of them hits you with a pillow, you hit them with a pillow stuffed with a puppy. He knocks you onto the floor, you make him sleep on the couch for a week. That's the Chicago way.

 
supernaturaltoe 2008-02-10 01:48:32 AM  
Obviously the pillow slips were stuffed with jandals, number 8 fencing wire and Winston Peter's ego.

 
EdNortonsTwin 2008-02-10 01:51:54 AM  
www.neatorama.com

Perhaps there was betting involved???

 
MsInterpreted 2008-02-10 01:54:07 AM  
FunkOut: Ah, hell, I'll submit that as a link now. But in case it doesn't make it...

Man, that's a sad story - even for the cabbie who had to write off a $400.00 cab fare...

 
tehotherbilly 2008-02-10 01:54:59 AM  
Forget pillows. What you wanna do is get a sock then put two pairs of rolled up socks inside that, then you and your brother try to see who can get hit in the balls first.

/there can be only one

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-02-10 02:03:48 AM  
Felgraf:
Well, I don't know about everyone else, but when my brother and I used to pillow fight, we'd grab the edge of the pillow case , and swing it by that, thus causing the pillow to wad up in the end and become more bludgeon-like.


Yeah, that's what Sis and I did(the other girls didn't think that, tho)..
The last time we ever did a pillow fight(and I learned the medium-hard way) was she and I were standing on our beds once swatting each other full-force and she whooped me so hard...like this:

www.defensetech.org


Then I'm ass over teakettle and conk my head in the opened accordian door of the closet, hard enough to hurt and send my dad rushing up the steps in record time, but not enough to bleed. He sees Sis on her bed and sees me on the floor holding my head, and since I'm the older one, he looks at me and says, "Where does it hurt?" I show him the right side of my head, and he pops me on my left(Not hard, just enough to get the message)! And then yells at Sis, "Unless you want what she got, GET OFF THE GOTDAMMED BED!!" She promptly jumps down and I go, "What'dja smack ME for?" And to this day as bad as this may sound to most folks, this is really funny to me...he goes,"TO BALANCE YOUR ASS OUT!"


Sorry to drag that out just to give you the punchline on that...true story!

 
Get Lost 2008-02-10 02:04:01 AM  
FunkOut: Hey, a pillow fight is better than what some couple in B.C. did today...jumped out of their taxi to argue in the middle of a highway. 8 cars in total are counted as having run them over.

Fighting couple run over on Trans-Canada (new window)


And you know what? That would count as a alcohol related accident. Otherwise know as a drunk driver times two...
http://roadblockbc.blogspot.com/

 
Linto 2008-02-10 02:05:20 AM  
When I first met my girlfriend, I decided to go with the classics and that the best way to flirt would be to hit her with a pillow. Let me just say the night ended well.

 
shinjitsuism 2008-02-10 02:05:34 AM  
Scene of the Crime:

i102.photobucket.com

/Oh yeah

 
Dispector 2008-02-10 02:08:51 AM  
shinjitsuism: Scene of the Crime:

/Oh yeah


I dunno... I wouldn't be pushing any of them aside.

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-02-10 02:10:31 AM  
You know it's a Gahddamned shame that these hot chicks are getting posted having a pillow fight...and they can't be topless? Now THAT's a pillow fight!!!

Oh, and 12inpianist, we grew up at Lake of the Ozarks, Gahd's bumpkin resort...the worst that would happen is that you would sleep with the catfishes.

That's the Ozark way, y'all.

 
honkeylips 2008-02-10 02:35:07 AM  
Yeesh, Private Pile would've given his left nut for abuse like this. At least her pillows weren't filled with bars of soap.

Always look on the bright side of life....

 
CornFedIowan 2008-02-10 02:42:38 AM  
News: Police intervene in domestic fight. Fark: A pillow fight

Isn't this the plot of a porno?

 
Cyno01 [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 02:43:38 AM  
How hard you hit depends on how you swing the pillow. If youre just swinging from the wrist its not gonna pack much of a whallop, but if i cock my arm back and go from the shoulder, i can knock my fiancee flat with a pillow, she doesnt understand how i can hit so hard either.

/she likes that better than me farting in a pillow and throwing it at her though
//weve reached THAT point in our relationship...
///and this thread needs more pics of chicks pillowfighting

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-02-10 03:00:16 AM  
Cyno01, so you're saying that you're swinging like a golfer? Because Sis and I were swinging like batters, more like elbows and forearms...hmmmm....

 
Cyno01 [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 03:32:56 AM  
Yeah, not a golfer, but now that i think about it, its even more than the shoulders. I have some martial arts training, and even swinging something like a pillow you can really put your whole body behind it and start from the hips...

I just stood up and dissected a slow swing and its really the same swing holding the corners of a pillow as a cross strike with a pair of escrima sticks. Wow, i am a huge bastard for using this stuff in pillow fights.

 
12inpianist 2008-02-10 03:35:40 AM  
12inpianist: Juniper Jupiter

One of them hits you with a pillow, you hit them with a pillow stuffed with a puppy. He knocks you onto the floor, you make him sleep on the couch for a week. That's the Chicago Lake of the Ozarks way.


/More topless chicks pillow fighting plz

 
mikebdoss [TotalFark] 2008-02-10 03:39:03 AM  
Cyno01: ...but if i cock my arm back and go from the shoulder...

Better than arming your cock and going from the shoulder, I guess...

 
supernaturaltoe 2008-02-10 04:35:09 AM  
Cyno01: /she likes that better than me farting in a pillow and throwing it at her though

!!! My fiance is gonna be so pissed off at me tonight when I try that.

 
ECS 2008-02-10 05:53:17 AM  
I think I love you Juniper Jupiter?

 
jmccarth07 2008-02-10 08:56:17 AM  
rabidferret: Barakku:
Exactly how many pillow-inflicted battle wounds adorn your body?

OK, so I got hit by an arrow of +5 Snark.

Seriously though, that article is just weird. It sounds like that guy was very angry (tossing his daughter out of the way, police charging him with domestic violence, etc.) but he chooses to go with a pillow to do the beating.

I don't know if I should be thankful that a piece-of-crap wifebeater had the self-control to not use a hard object; or pity him because weaponized pillows are obviously meant for smotherings, not beatings.


I happen to know a cop (a cop, for fark's sake) who wears boxing gloves when he and his wife have fights.

 
Shadow Blasko 2008-02-10 09:01:59 AM  
I had an impromptu pillow fight with 5 of my friends in the parking lot of my old apartment while we were packing the car to go on a road trip.

It was very fun and energetic, with people jumping over cars and chasing each other through the carports.

It was also very very cold out. (about 10f)

The pillow fight ended quickly (at least I think it did) when the crazy redhead I would end up dating for the next year grabbed her pillow out of her car and hit me full swing with it.

It was a Tempurpedic pillow. She didn't notice that it was frozen solid as a rock.

It definitely had more hit points than my head.

When I came to, I was looking up 5 people who were very concerned with my well being... one of whom had already called 911 because I was out *cold* for at least 2 minutes.

Moral of the story... Don't pillow fight with Tempurpedic pillows if its below freezing where you are having the pillow fight.

 
vudukungfu 2008-02-10 10:18:15 AM  
Lucky for the dad, the mattress tags were intact.

 
Treetop1000 2008-02-10 11:06:13 AM  
Shadow Blasko: I had an impromptu pillow fight ....

So who hit you first?
Was it her?
Huh?
And right before that,you said something really stupid didn't you?

Dude.

That wasn't a "impromptu pillow fight".
She rocked your ass, and they all made up the whole "pillow fight" thing to cover for her.


never trust redheads, it's a law here in my state.

 
BJs Dont Count 2008-02-10 12:17:15 PM  
i232.photobucket.com

/wanted for questioning.

 
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