12. Could have stayed out of the race, practicing his unmistakable brand of douchebaggery in the privacy of his own home.

13. Could have been an effective leader in Massachusetts.

14. Stop trying to be a bad photocopy of Reagan.

15, Read Fark more often, follow instructions to the letter.

16. Offered to throw in the undercoating for 10% off.

17. Shouldn't have gotten coffee. Coffee is for closers.

18. Should've ditched the wife for a new MILF.

19. Shouldn't have been John Kerry with an R after his name.

20. Should have stayed out of politics and sought a career hosting game shows.

Oh, and

21. Stop saying things like "We need to inject more religion into the government," and then following it up later in the same speech with "Jihadists will never accept Democracy because there is too much religion in their government."

21. Should have released on awkward video of him posing with black people asking "Who let the dogs out?" Oh wait (new window).

23. Shouldn't have banned the use of the number 22.

24. Should never have posed for this picture.

24. Shouldn't have posed as a conservative, and fessed up to spending Mass taxpayers' money like a drunken sailor, almost doubling the budget in 4 years.

25. Should have been a drunken sailor, and argued with McCain every time he told that joke.

Should have run as a liberal Democrat, because that's what most people want now on account of eight years under a conservative finger-painting booger eater.

26. Could have got donors besides himself.

27. Should have not answered.

28. Get a brain, Mormon.

28. Shouldn't have put all his efforts into the giant foam mitt lobby.

29., rather.

30.) Should've gone easy on the hair gel.

Pulled out three children ago.

31: Shouldn't have looked like this guy

31. Should of never of ran

32. Should have had a V8

33. Better magic underwear

33. GLOVE Romney.

35. Rent a "Whacky Waving Inflatable Arms Flailing Tube Man".

56,211,899. Should have openly celebrated the Greatness of Quetzalcoatl under the hot tropical Sun of Nephi.

36. Should have distracted McCain by getting Matlock off the air

37. Should of had a blimp.

8. Could have consistently presented his own personality-disciplined, ambitious, take-charge, impersonal, passionate about his family and his religion-rather than tried to fit himself into a series of established Republican templates stressed his physical resemblance to Martin Scorsese.

41. not be a scrote

39. Should have bought a Mr. Rogers Sweater.

40. Should have hired a midget with a broom.

Mitt's loss = America's win

might be the last chance i get to use this, but what a fitting thread for it

The fact that he admitted that supporting him was equivalent to supporting the surrender to terrorists pretty much says it all.

42. Kept the dog in the car.

43. Could have been a Republican with the balls to support things like cutting taxes and spending, and leaving people's personal beliefs out of government. You know, NOT pandering to the Christian Right.

nobozo: 40. Should have hired a midget with a broom.

You slump-shouldered sack of nuts! We'd look like a bunch of johnny-come-latelys bringin' out our own midget. Don't matter how stumpy!

44. Should have gotten the American Jesus to help him.

45. Should not have let this be videotaped
Link (new window)

46. Not been a member of a greedy, pushy, obnoxious religious cult.

47. Should have kicked you all in the nuts.

47. Not coming off as a complete prick by telling that guy in the wheelchair with muscular dystrophy he would throw him in jail for using medical marijuana, then brushing him off.

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