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(Telegraph) Dumbass British man dies piste off after trying to ski down mountain on a mattress   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 45
More: Dumbass  
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45 Comments   (+0 »)


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bessyglass [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 02:15:18 PM  
what is "piste off"

 
AaaPha 2008-02-03 02:22:33 PM  
bessyglass: what is "piste off"

Pissed off? Annoyed? Like "pissed" in the US.

/Course "pissed" in the UK means drunk...
//Ow my head.

 
Slaxl [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 02:27:01 PM  
AaaPha: bessyglass: what is "piste off"

Pissed off? Annoyed? Like "pissed" in the US.

/Course "pissed" in the UK means drunk...
//Ow my head.


It can happily mean annoyed here aswell.

 
AaaPha 2008-02-03 02:29:51 PM  
Slaxl: It can happily mean annoyed here aswell.

Ah. Can it? Good. I forget which bits of colloquial we share and which we don't. I can't be arsed to worry about it though, sod it.

 
CruiserTwelve [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 03:01:11 PM  
Wikipedia: A piste is the name given to a marked ski-run or path down a mountain for the purposes of skiing, snowboarding, or other mountain sports. The term is most often used in Europe; in North America, a piste would more often be referred to as a trail, a slope, or a groomed run.

 
Gamplayerx [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-02-03 03:36:46 PM  
It's punny!

 
AlanSmithee [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 05:19:07 PM  
Punny earhlings!

 
goofiw 2008-02-03 05:41:58 PM  
damn barriers, always getting in the way

and making ski patrols chase me because your not supposed to go under them

yet to have a ticket pulled!!

 
studebaker hoch 2008-02-03 05:42:33 PM  
Sounds like he was pissed all right.

/and off piste!

 
Atypical Person Reading Fark [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 05:44:14 PM  
I'm happily annoyed that I have no Jack Daniels.

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 05:44:17 PM  
Was probably trying to impress a woman. But if you read The Game, you would know that you don't have to do stupid things to impress women. Just treat them like people instead of like hot women. That works much better than killing yourself on a mattress.

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-02-03 05:44:22 PM  
CruiserTwelve: Wikipedia: A piste is the name given to a marked ski-run or path down a mountain for the purposes of skiing, snowboarding, or other mountain sports. The term is most often used in Europe; in North America, a piste would more often be referred to as a trail, a slope, or a groomed run.

Another Wikipedia mogul heard from.

 
youshallhaveeverbeen [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 05:47:02 PM  
tonesskin: Was probably trying to impress a woman. But if you read The Game, you would know that you don't have to do stupid things to impress women. Just treat them like people instead of like hot women. That works much better than killing yourself on a mattress.


i'd start out with David DeAngelo before the Game. just my opinion.

 
RickTheVote 2008-02-03 05:53:00 PM  
Danger Avoid Death
Another Wikipedia mogul heard from.

Is that bothersome?

 
Doc Batarang 2008-02-03 05:56:09 PM  
Danger Avoid Death:Another Wikipedia mogul heard from.

Be nice. You're on a slippery slope, Mr..

 
Cardrack Jim 2008-02-03 05:57:14 PM  
ski down mountain on a mattress

Slide down the mountain? Board down the mountain? Or did he have a mattress tied to each foot?

 
berylman 2008-02-03 05:58:22 PM  
Honestly I can relate to this story, but not in the extreme presented.

As a kid I recall great times climbing the ski routes in the Colorado area after the lifts were closed and sliding down upon slickened placemats, baby seal skins, or anything convenient other than skis. Good times for concussions and ice into the nostrils.

 
drbobm55 2008-02-03 05:58:56 PM  
WE HAVE A WINNER!

 
Raging Thespian [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 06:01:16 PM  
Don't pass away angry, just pass away.

 
walnuts55 [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 06:07:17 PM  
The agony of defeat POPs into mind.
/must be over 40 to get it.

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-02-03 06:07:35 PM  
Cardrack Jim: ski down mountain on a mattress

Slide down the mountain? Board down the mountain? Or did he have a mattress tied to each foot?


www.sbnonline.com

"We guarantee to beat any competitor's downhill time or your next mattress if FREEEEEEEEEE!!!"

/"You're killing me, Larry!"

 
whitefalcon79 2008-02-03 06:07:43 PM  
I LOL'd at the headline.

 
BadGurl404 [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 06:14:40 PM  
berylman: Honestly I can relate to this story, but not in the extreme presented.

As a kid I recall great times climbing the ski routes in the Colorado area after the lifts were closed and sliding down upon slickened placemats, baby seal skins, or anything convenient other than skis. Good times for concussions and ice into the nostrils.


Used to slide down runs in the Sierras on trash bags. Worst accident I had was when I slid into a group of three people hauling a three-man sled up the hill as I was coming down.

They griped at me about running into them. Like a trash bag has steering...

 
ImJustaTroll 2008-02-03 06:14:43 PM  
We don't need none of your fancy euro-words here, alright, subby?

 
davynelson 2008-02-03 06:14:51 PM  
"a tragic comic accident"

 
FauxNews 2008-02-03 06:16:59 PM  
If only he'd taken a pillow.

 
Cardrack Jim 2008-02-03 06:18:40 PM  
Danger Avoid Death

Very nice

 
Atalanta 2008-02-03 06:31:28 PM  
How on earth do you get a mattress up the lift? It must've been a decently steep slope for him to go fast enough to be killed, and I can't imagine hauling something up a hill that steep . .

Seriously, how did people not notice this?

 
ColPapa 2008-02-03 06:34:45 PM  
Musta had one helluva sleep number.

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-02-03 06:35:45 PM  
Atalanta: How on earth do you get a mattress up the lift? It must've been a decently steep slope for him to go fast enough to be killed, and I can't imagine hauling something up a hill that steep . .

Seriously, how did people not notice this?


They were, ahem, asleep on the jorb?

 
RockIsDead 2008-02-03 06:38:41 PM  
He took that Italian thing "Take to the matresses" way too literally.

 
TheGreyPiper 2008-02-03 06:43:11 PM  
I think this is the second time in my life I've seen this word, and the other time was also a Fark bad taste marathon about dead people.

 
Montuckian 2008-02-03 06:55:37 PM  
Piste Off is an extreme sports lifestyle magazine based in Bozeman, Montana. It is an amazing publication that is extremely visually appealing and informative. It is put together by a group of talented, former Graphic Design students from Montana State University.

 
simpsonfan 2008-02-03 06:56:41 PM  
Article is incorrect about it being tragic. Darwin Award winning accidents are funny, not tragic. Only tragic if nobody got it on video.

 
Swede 2008-02-03 07:22:44 PM  
Who dares, wins.

 
Fahkinell 2008-02-03 07:24:24 PM  
Atalanta: How on earth do you get a mattress up the lift? It must've been a decently steep slope for him to go fast enough to be killed, and I can't imagine hauling something up a hill that steep . .

Seriously, how did people not notice this?


Probably one of those mattresses placed around light masts and so on.

 
gregoire4 2008-02-03 07:27:16 PM  
They were rubber mattresses. Maybe they inflated them at the top?

 
HowlingFrog [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 07:36:39 PM  
Meh, inner tubes are more fun.
And just as unsteerable.

 
sarcastrophe 2008-02-03 07:37:13 PM  
CruiserTwelve: Wikipedia: A piste is the name given to a marked ski-run or path down a mountain for the purposes of skiing, snowboarding, or other mountain sports. The term is most often used in Europe; in North America, a piste would more often be referred to as a trail, a slope, or a groomed run.

Strange. I always thought it was just the french word for "ski run." Is it really used all over Europe or just in the French speaking areas?

 
Sliding Carp [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 07:53:01 PM  
Atalanta: How on earth do you get a mattress up the lift? It must've been a decently steep slope for him to go fast enough to be killed, and I can't imagine hauling something up a hill that steep . .

Seriously, how did people not notice this?


They probably were doing it at night, half drunk - that's the typical environment for this to happen. And it's actually reasonably common; I know of an acquaintance who spent some nasty time in a hospital in Michigan with very serious injuries from a similar accident, and the classic story is the guy in Colorado who died after crashing into the lift tower that he had pulled the pad off of to slide down on.

You don't need much steepness, or a very long run to get up near ludicrous speed with firm plastic on packed snow, and there's pretty much no way at all to steer.

I have no idea what percentage of drunk ad-hoc sledding runs end badly, but the potential is awesomely high.

 
Sliding Carp [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 07:54:40 PM  
Oh yeah, Atalanta, the lift question: you don't take it up the lift, you just drag it as far as you can and say the magic words. ("Hold my beer and watch this!")

 
Atalanta 2008-02-03 07:55:21 PM  
Fahkinell, Good point. That makes a lot more sense than sitting around blowing up an air mattress at 9,000 feet.

 
Control_this [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 08:16:27 PM  
Crashed his mattress into the side of a piste? That'll leave a tele mark.

/maybe his bindings had the wrong sleep setting

 
lotustuned 2008-02-03 09:20:28 PM  
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krispos42 2008-02-03 10:44:12 PM  
How to stop shooting down a mountain at high speed while on an air mattress:

fall off.
That's how I stopped when I went on my one and only ski trip. Things start going badly, fall over.



Somebody mint a new Darwin Award!

 
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