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(pennlive.com) Weird News: Teen faces weapons of mass destruction charges. Fark: after exploding plastic egg at flea market   (pennlive.com) divider line 68
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torch [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 01:26:27 PM  
I don't see how this can even rise to the level of a "destructive device." Seems like the state just wants to put their boot on some kid's throat.

 
Molavian 2008-02-03 01:38:17 PM  
FTFA: Peggy Beckley, the vendor manager, says market employees chased the man into the parking lot and held him for police.

Guaranteed lawsuit, that.

 
ChewbaccaJones [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 02:16:10 PM  
WMD charge? WTF. How about just: "Charged with douchebaggery."

 
Asa Phelps [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 02:19:54 PM  
even a real grenade is still a weapon of localized destruction.

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 02:26:55 PM  
"Exploding Plastic Egg at Flea Market" *would* be a great name for a rock band...

 
SilentStrider [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 02:30:24 PM  
correct me if i'm wrong, but shouldn't a WMD be capable of... I don't know... MASS DESTRUCTION?

 
RocketRod [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 02:32:30 PM  
If it just went "bang", I'd let the kid off. But a "bang with a buncha pellets shooting out in all directions"... book 'em, Dano.

 
SilentStrider [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 02:33:28 PM  
oh and even better, this happened about 20 miles from me.

 
lajimi [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 02:49:52 PM  
This is why you rarely see a skinny lawyer.

 
doyner [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 02:54:23 PM  
We have become the most pussified society in the world if that counts as a WMD.

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 03:52:29 PM  
SilentStrider: oh and even better, this happened about 20 miles from me.

typical tho. I mean, it's not like law enforcement around here has any sense of proportion or scale for their actions. Plus, I think most local police departments are staffed by wannabe facists. They sure do like to stomp down hard on even minor infractions.

I honestly don't know who they think they're trying to impress.

 
nobozo 2008-02-03 03:57:56 PM  
Maybe they still remember these?
tbn0.google.com
( WWI German egg grenade )

 
YixilTesiphon 2008-02-03 04:20:42 PM  
torch: I don't see how this can even rise to the level of a "destructive device." Seems like the state just wants to put their boot on some kid's throat.

This.

 
erewhon 2008-02-03 04:21:14 PM  
Weaver95: typical tho. I mean, it's not like law enforcement around here has any sense of proportion or scale for their actions.

All Barney Fife and no Andy Griffith.

/Now, Barn, it was just a plastic egg. I think a simple talking-to would suffice.
//Nip it! Nip it IN THE BUD! Today a plastic egg...tomorrow an atom bomb!

 
Firetini [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 04:21:47 PM  
Oh give me a break...what's next? Arresting a child when a balloon pops in public?

 
Bloodstone2k 2008-02-03 04:22:24 PM  
doyner: We have become the most pussified society in the world if that counts as a WMD.

THIS (too)

 
Uchiha_Cycliste [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 04:23:45 PM  
Well I'll be damned, I guess Irzq really DID have WMD's.

 
elffster 2008-02-03 04:23:55 PM  
wars over.

we lost.

 
bown 2008-02-03 04:24:25 PM  
so airsoft pellets now count as dangerous shrapnel? Good Grief!

 
Oldiron_79 2008-02-03 04:27:13 PM  
user.et-cip.rub.de

 
AmazingRuss 2008-02-03 04:28:16 PM  
torch: I don't see how this can even rise to the level of a "destructive device." Seems like the state just wants to put their boot on some kid's throat.

If they convict him of a felony, i think that makes him ineligible for any number of government benefits. Maybe this is how they plan to fix social security...make every dumbass kid a felon, and exclude them from the handout list.

He is kind of a standout dumbass for this stunt though...maybe it's warranted.

 
Mr. Krinkle 2008-02-03 04:28:46 PM  
I see we've lowered the bar since Saddam didn't have the old definition of WMD's.

Good think I'm not in High School anymore. I'd be locked up for biological weapons charges on that stink bomb I dropped in the girls locker room.

 
Foxxinnia 2008-02-03 04:29:34 PM  
"What are you in for?"
"Possession."
"Of what?"
"Weapons of mass destruction."

 
Svensk 2008-02-03 04:30:53 PM  
elffster: wars over.

we lost.


Good game America, we had a good run

/most definitely obscure

 
KNW 2008-02-03 04:31:24 PM  
"Risking a catastrophie" is a charge?! If that's the case, how are the people who thought up American Idol still free?

 
Jonathan Hohensee 2008-02-03 04:32:30 PM  
Boy, I sure bet that when this little episode is over, the cops will find themselves with EGG all over their face.

 
Uncle Karl 2008-02-03 04:35:03 PM  
KNW: "Risking a catastrophie" is a charge?! If that's the case, how are the people who thought up American Idol still free?

or dubya?

 
ironburl 2008-02-03 04:36:35 PM  
Plastic egg filled with plastic beads that causes 5 people "alarm".

Weapon - no.
Mass - no.
Destruction - no.

CASE DISMISSED! Let the lawsuits against the city begin!

 
Atypical Person Reading Fark [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 04:38:41 PM  
doyner: We have become the most pussified society in the world if that counts as a WMD.

Yes, but, well - we have. As a society.

I'm not.

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-02-03 04:42:01 PM  
Police say he ignited a plastic egg filled with plastic air-gun pellets in a flea market, hitting at least five people and causing alarm.

OMG!!! HE CAUSED ALARM!!! EVERBODY PANIC!!!

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-02-03 04:46:21 PM  
So that's where Saddam hid the WMD's. In a plastic egg.

/it's always in the last place you look.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 04:49:50 PM  
ChewbaccaJones: WMD charge? WTF. How about just: "Charged with douchebaggery."

Actually I think that WMD charge is simply stands for 'Weapons of Mass Douchebaggery'.

 
AquaX 2008-02-03 04:56:02 PM  
Sounds familiar. A friend's 16 year old brother was charged with terrorism related charges because he was making dry ice bombs with 2 liter bottles. He wasn't threatening anyone with them, he was just exploding them in the backyard. It took 3 months of court work to get it reduced to some noise violation charge, and stricken from his record at age 18.

Less than a year later, the Mythbusters were making the exact same bombs on their show.

 
baka-san [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 04:56:07 PM  
disorderly conduct and simple assault.

These two I can get behind. Also if there is a law on the books for causing a panic with the possibility of harm to others, the old shouting "Fire" in a crowded theater thing, than get him with that. The rest, load of crap.

/should have a law against being a douche, but then all farkers would have records.

 
walnuts55 [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 04:59:31 PM  
I once had some hard boiled eggs and beer before I went to a flea market with the wife . And I did drop some WMDs that day , She was pissed too.

 
bacccc 2008-02-03 05:01:21 PM  
So he ended up with the EXACT SAME NUMBER of WMDs as were in Iraq.

/can we invade-occupy his house and kill all his friends/relatives yet?

 
guitarpick2002 2008-02-03 05:04:13 PM  
Can America get even more paranoid? Next thing you know some guy will get arrested for showing someone their cucumber they picked out of the produce aisle.
"Wanna see my cucumber?"
"Oh no! You're making an obscene gesture! Police!"
"Not that cucumber!"

Seriously, aren't weapons supposed to be destructive?

 
BitwiseShift 2008-02-03 05:04:38 PM  
1. First they came for the nouns, but we kept silent.
2. Then they came for the gerunds, but we kept silent.
3. Then they came for the verbs, but we kept silent.
. . .
10. Once they had complete farked the language, we tried to talk but by then it was all unintelligible.

//can you say kid doing dangerous stunt with home-made fireworks
//can you say no more DHS money for you until you raise taxes

 
logruszed 2008-02-03 05:08:53 PM  
ChewbaccaJones: WMD charge? WTF. How about just: "Charged with douchebaggery."

Or arson/attempted arson. I would imagine that's a fairly reasonable charge.

However the article may have just been lacking in an accurate description of the "egg" involved. It could have been a plastic egg which was made into an explosive device (pretty basic anarchist cookbook type stuff). If this is the case it would be a destructive device almost certainly.

I would further venture that the author of the article (perhaps even police spokespersons) don't know the difference between Weapons of Mass Destruction (new window) and Destructive Devices (new window).

 
Quantumbunny 2008-02-03 05:12:40 PM  
RocketRod: If it just went "bang", I'd let the kid off. But a "bang with a buncha pellets shooting out in all directions"... book 'em, Dano.

You should clarify that... they are airsoft gun pellets, with a terminal velocity based on weight that would guarantee they don't even break skin. Definitely worthy of Guantanamo. Lock em up till he admits to being Osama's #2.

Tis a sad day for America, the land of the once free.

 
Quantumbunny 2008-02-03 05:16:15 PM  
logruszed: ChewbaccaJones: WMD charge? WTF. How about just: "Charged with douchebaggery."

Or arson/attempted arson. I would imagine that's a fairly reasonable charge.

However the article may have just been lacking in an accurate description of the "egg" involved. It could have been a plastic egg which was made into an explosive device (pretty basic anarchist cookbook type stuff). If this is the case it would be a destructive device almost certainly.

I would further venture that the author of the article (perhaps even police spokespersons) don't know the difference between Weapons of Mass Destruction (new window) and Destructive Devices (new window).


From your own link: A weapon of mass destruction (WMD) is a weapon which can kill large numbers of humans, animals and plants, and/or cause great damage to man-made structures (e.g. buildings) or natural structures (e.g. mountains). The term covers several weapon types, including nuclear, biological, chemical (NBC) and, increasingly, radiological weapons.

What part of MASS did a trained police woman or PR agent for a Police Department not understand? Anyone with even a middle school reading comprehension - which any PR person or writer should have - should understand a basic word like mass. not even breaking the skin on 5 people fits no description of anything aside from a nuisance device.

 
F42 2008-02-03 05:17:48 PM  
Quantumbunny: What part of MASS did a trained police woman or PR agent for a Police Department not understand?

The "M".

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 05:21:24 PM  
Dude should've just read The Game, and he would be out getting ass instead of doing this type of activity.

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2008-02-03 05:22:57 PM  
Paranoia
Will destroy ya'

 
logruszed 2008-02-03 05:25:12 PM  
Quantumbunny: logruszed: ChewbaccaJones: WMD charge? WTF. How about just: "Charged with douchebaggery."

Or arson/attempted arson. I would imagine that's a fairly reasonable charge.

However the article may have just been lacking in an accurate description of the "egg" involved. It could have been a plastic egg which was made into an explosive device (pretty basic anarchist cookbook type stuff). If this is the case it would be a destructive device almost certainly.

I would further venture that the author of the article (perhaps even police spokespersons) don't know the difference between Weapons of Mass Destruction (new window) and Destructive Devices (new window).

From your own link: A weapon of mass destruction (WMD) is a weapon which can kill large numbers of humans, animals and plants, and/or cause great damage to man-made structures (e.g. buildings) or natural structures (e.g. mountains). The term covers several weapon types, including nuclear, biological, chemical (NBC) and, increasingly, radiological weapons.

What part of MASS did a trained police woman or PR agent for a Police Department not understand? Anyone with even a middle school reading comprehension - which any PR person or writer should have - should understand a basic word like mass. not even breaking the skin on 5 people fits no description of anything aside from a nuisance device.


The legal part where there is no criminal charge for having a WMD but there is one regarding a "destructive device" (The National Firearms Act. Title 26 United States Code, Chapter 53, Internal Revenue Code.) from the same links.

I'm not really disputing the adjective, but that is seems to have been used 1) to describe a criminal charge when an accurate one exists already and 2) It may or may not have been accurate (was this egg-bomb really capable of the actions described by "WMD" or was it merely a "destructive device"?

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 05:31:42 PM  
They should go after him for this stupid behavior, but a WMD charge is going too far.

 
Necrosis 2008-02-03 05:32:44 PM  
The WMD charge is stupid legal BS that has popped up all over after 9/11. It may have been on the books before 9/11, but now it is a nice way to trump up charges probably based on some meaningless legal definition.

That said, the guy is a douchebag who should certainly face every other charge mentioned in the article. Even if it can't really do that much harm, doing it in a crowd of people is incredibly stupid and reckless.

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2008-02-03 05:33:46 PM  
Necrosis: Even if it can't really do that much harm, doing it in a crowd of people is incredibly stupid and reckless.

Especially when it is two fat people.

 
neocssck 2008-02-03 05:34:40 PM  
Ahh, so glad all the crap I did as a kid wasn't considered anything more than me just being a boy. I think I would've been lynched now-a-days.

 
blighted 2008-02-03 05:50:15 PM  
Criminal mischief, simple assault and/or causing a disturbance, yes. Destructive device and WMD? No.

Bad police, bad. You fail.
Kid should get fined and a couple hundred hours of community service. Maybe a public flogging. Just for being a douche.

 
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