They need this sort of contract for groomsmen who want to ensure they're not going to be paired with the water buffalo of the wedding party.

Pocket Ninja: They need this sort of contract for groomsmen who want to ensure they're not going to be paired with the water buffalo of the wedding party.

THIS.

/allways a groomsman, never a groom.

The fiances of these brides should ask THEM for a "no fatty" contract as a clause in the marraige. After all, the brides have already shown that they believe in contractual stipulations against future weight gain; what's the problem?

Brides who insist on something like this are idiots. The fatter my bridesmaids are, the skinnier I look by comparison.

Il Douchey: The fiances of these brides should ask THEM for a "no fatty" contract as a clause in the marraige.

some brides should sign such pacts themselvs, for after the wedding.

Of course, if you read the article, it cites no one who has ever done it. They only polled 1000 women, asking them what they would put in a contract, and obviously included "clause with weight restrictions" among the list of choices. Then "more than one in five" chose that option. Therefore, "less than one in four" chose it.

Isn't manufacturing news fun?

Il Douchey: The fiances of these brides should ask THEM for a "no fatty" contract as a clause in the marraige. After all, the brides have already shown that they believe in contractual stipulations against future weight gain; what's the problem?

Welcome to my favorites list! I like the way you think.

Earguy: Of course, if you read the article, it cites no one who has ever done it. They only polled 1000 women, asking them what they would put in a contract, and obviously included "clause with weight restrictions" among the list of choices. Then "more than one in five" chose that option. Therefore, "less than one in four" chose it.

Isn't manufacturing news fun?

Agreed. What a lame article.

MorningBreath: some brides should sign such pacts themselvs, for after the wedding.

Exactly. Brides to be who get all worked up about the wedding don't want to be married. They just want a wedding. They want to be centerstage in a beauty pagent they got their daddy to pay to insure they will win, and take home prizes. After that, it's hell on the groom for sticking around. Do yourselves a favor and don't get married. You can enter into a legally binding contract as business partners, and if someone jumps ship, they loos all assets, and gain all debits.
/Of course, finding a woman who can sign a fair and balanced contract is difficult.

vudukungfu: Of course, finding a woman who can sign a fair and balanced contract is difficult.

Not really, they just charge by the hour.

/

I'm slowly coming to the realization that the majority of women don't actually want to get married or to be married - that is, they don't have the maturity to make that kind of commitment or the selflessness to work hard to make it successful.

They just want to be a bride. They want to have a "special day" where they're the undisputed center of attention.

Lest I be accused of woman-bashing, let me be clear that many men have the same maturity problem. But their problem is manifest during years and years of dating. I'm western-culture bashing here, not woman bashing.

Yea, and women aren't bat shiat crazy.. right.

Il Douchey: The fiances of these brides should ask THEM for a "no fatty" contract as a clause in the marraige. After all, the brides have already shown that they believe in contractual stipulations against future weight gain; what's the problem?

Very Very Nice! I will be adding you to my "Farkers I love list"

ozone

Where did you get a copy of my wedding picture?

enave: They just want to be a bride. They want to have a "special day" where they're the undisputed center of attention.

i agree with this completely. i can think of much more fulfilling ways to drop $50K+ and most of it won't require a lawyer to get back out of it.

"sack a bridesmaid who broke the contract" depends on if they are worth getting in the sack in the first place

Don't forget to add the "Blowjob" clause, where they promise to apply themselves to this art even AFTER the wedding.

What the heck, add a stipulation that ANY...SOME sex must be engaged in, especially after the first 5-10 years of marriage, with a provision for the hiring of a suitable stand-in in the likely case of her default.

aimtastic: Brides who insist on something like this are idiots. The fatter my bridesmaids are, the skinnier I look by comparison.

Following up on this logic I now understand why most bridesmaids look like a carpet remnant warehouse exploded all over them ;)

enave: I'm slowly coming to the realization that the majority of women don't actually want to get married or to be married - that is, they don't have the maturity to make that kind of commitment or the selflessness to work hard to make it successful.

They just want to be a bride. They want to have a "special day" where they're the undisputed center of attention.

Lest I be accused of woman-bashing, let me be clear that many men have the same maturity problem. But their problem is manifest during years and years of dating. I'm western-culture bashing here, not woman bashing.

That may be true for some, but not all. Our wedding was much more about our friends and family, and it was without a doubt the best day of my life.

I feel sorry for the brides (and grooms) who lose sight of the bigger picture when it comes to marriage. Your wedding day is not just about one day--it's about every day for the rest of your lives.

Pity the bride and groom whose friends and family are there for a spectacle rather than the sealing of a commitment.

And I want those bridesmaids to sign a contract that, at some point during the reception, I can pick one of the cute ones to go to a room and let me fark them like Sonny Corleone in the first Godfather.

This is old news. Hasn't this shiat been going on for years?

What I don't understand is why any woman would agree to be in a wedding where they had to sign something like this. Wouldn't it be like a slap in the face that the bride didn't trust you to be able to fit into the dress by her wedding day?

Or am I wrong and this is all about the bride's desire not to have a bridesmaid inflating before the final dress fitting and adding to the gross weight of the wedding party? I don't doubt that there are high strung shallow people who just don't want chunky bridesmaids in their wedding photos. Is that what the contract is all about?

I would sign the contract. Then I would stuff myself with bacon and ho-hos until my back fat was blobbing over the edges of my bridesmaid dress.

Pocket Ninja: They need this sort of contract for groomsmen who want to ensure they're not going to be paired with the water buffalo of the wedding party.

THIS

\Maid of Honor
\\Bride gained 20 lbs and wants US to hit the gym.
\\\Off to the gym in 26 minutes

Whoops I Did It Again: Those of you attacking the women who asked for these contracts should keep in mind that they are simply conforming to the unrealistic standards set by a male dominated society. These women are victims as much as the women being forced to lose weight.

Yeah! right.

Do you mean standards set by women's magazines who's founders and editors are women????

I don't see how you could force a potential bridesmaid to do this. After all, they're doing the bride a favor AND taking on a big financial committment (i.e. the bridesmaid dress and shoes that you'll never wear again, gifts for the engagement party, bridal shower, and wedding, and let's not forget the increasingly popular bachelorette weekend). For a good friend, it's all worth it, but who would want to devote so much time, money, and energy to being in a wedding with a spoiled princess?

joltek: Whoops I Did It Again: Those of you attacking the women who asked for these contracts should keep in mind that they are simply conforming to the unrealistic standards set by a male dominated society. These women are victims as much as the women being forced to lose weight.

Yeah! right.

Do you mean standards set by women's magazines who's founders and editors are women????

THIS

we are our own worst enemies

When more effort goes into the wedding than into the marriage, that's a bad start. Don't you wan't more of a commitment from your future husband that you do from your bridesmaids (I'd rather a fat bridesmaid than a fat lazy husband!) Or better yet, why demand commitments from any of them? If they care about you, they'll work hard to make you happy, if they don't they won't. It's really that simple and works both ways.

/Got married in a $25 dress in her backyard
//Hubby got to BBQ and drink beer with his buddies all afternoon
///Coming up on three years

She wont be upstaged on her special day....

enave: I'm slowly coming to the realization that the majority of women don't actually want to get married or to be married - that is, they don't have the maturity to make that kind of commitment or the selflessness to work hard to make it successful.

Lest I be accused of woman-bashing, let me be clear that many men have the same maturity problem. But their problem is manifest during years and years of dating. I'm western-culture bashing here, not woman bashing.

You know what would solve this problem? If there were are a complete lack of idiotic men who PROPOSE to these women to begin with.

/takes two to tango
//generalizing is fun!

Too-Tall: This is old news. Hasn't this shiat been going on for years?

What I don't understand is why any woman would agree to be in a wedding where they had to sign something like this. Wouldn't it be like a slap in the face that the bride didn't trust you to be able to fit into the dress by her wedding day?

Or am I wrong and this is all about the bride's desire not to have a bridesmaid inflating before the final dress fitting and adding to the gross weight of the wedding party? I don't doubt that there are high strung shallow people who just don't want chunky bridesmaids in their wedding photos. Is that what the contract is all about?

Well, yeah this sort of has been going on for years, but not this "signing a contract" deal. Personally I believe that maybe a handful of people have done this and the paper is just reporting on it to make a story that people will read.

What's way more common is that occasionally someone will be asked to politely relinquish their spot in the wedding party. Usually a nice face-saving excuse is offered, such as a prior promise, or shortening the party by one. I've actually seen this happen one time in my entire life so far and I've been to at least a couple of dozen of weddings (I've also been a best man twice and a groomsman 5 times) - and the reason why the woman was asked to drop out was because she was HUGELY pregnant at the time of the wedding and in fact she was kind of relieved to get out of it.

Usually most people don't give a flying fark. I'd have to say that 99% of the time if someone is chubby in the wedding party (especially the bridesmaids) then chances are they were chubby when they were asked to join. I'm sure there are a few crazy brides to be out there, but lets be realistic here - "Bridezilla" is the word for 2007 and 2008, it's just yet another media driven phenomena that isn't really all that common.

joltek: Whoops I Did It Again: Those of you attacking the women who asked for these contracts should keep in mind that they are simply conforming to the unrealistic standards set by a male dominated society. These women are victims as much as the women being forced to lose weight.

Yeah! right.

Do you mean standards set by women's magazines who's founders and editors are women????

Hasn't the word spread yet? Whoops is a dirty troll, and a really bad one at that.

joltek: Whoops I Did It Again: Those of you attacking the women who asked for these contracts should keep in mind that they are simply conforming to the unrealistic standards set by a male dominated society. These women are victims as much as the women being forced to lose weight.

Yeah! right.

Do you mean standards set by women's magazines who's founders and editors are womengay men????

FTFY

This just in- women who are getting married are often unreasonable, selfish biatches! Film at 11.

/Maid of Honor in April wedding
//doesn't want to talk about it

krazydiamond: When more effort goes into the wedding than into the marriage, that's a bad start. Don't you wan't more of a commitment from your future husband that you do from your bridesmaids (I'd rather a fat bridesmaid than a fat lazy husband!) Or better yet, why demand commitments from any of them? If they care about you, they'll work hard to make you happy, if they don't they won't. It's really that simple and works both ways.

/Got married in a $25 dress in her backyard
//Hubby got to BBQ and drink beer with his buddies all afternoon
///Coming up on three years

That's awesome. I've found that usually the low key, backyard, JOP weddings end up lasting an eternity.

\Congratulations on your upcoming 3 yr anniversary!
\\You're doing it RIGHT!

I was one of those bridesmaids who got pregnant shortly after agreeing to be matron of honor. The bride got back at me by making me wear the most god-awful purple dress, so that I looked like Barney lumbering down the aisle.

I see these people with their expensive weddings and everyone seems to be pissed off all the time and no one gets what they want. Seems like a lot of stress for such a happy occasion.

/had a shotgun wedding
//in a hundred dollar dress
///from Hot Topic
////it rocked

People can do what they want, but....we got married in our living room with 6 people present, none of them were family, we called our families after the wedding and told them about it. 25 years ago, still married. All the doubters are long divorced. Get married for each other, not for your friends and family.

Fark all of them.

/5 months pregnant on my wedding day
//did not give a damn
///all anyone was required to do was a.) show up and b.) have a good time
////and everybody did
//we spent around $1200 for the whole wedding
//19 years later, our friends still talk about what a blast they had

//slashie addict

Maybe I'm a mutant, but I've never understood the special-day mentality that so many women seem to have. Sure, it's a joyous day, and you should celebrate it and enjoy it and remember it, but the wedding itself isn't the point -- the marriage is. Making the wedding into an ostentatious display of profligacy detracts from the importance of the vows and you know, the actual the two of you share.

Plate of Crazy: Maid of Honor in April wedding

my condolences. stock up on xanax now. if you're able, dose the bride-to-be as often as possible from now until the end of the reception.

Hmmm someone in this thread needs to...

...wash the sand out of their box.

/Women want skinny men too.

Whoops I Did It Again:

Incorrect. Those women's magazines follow the same tide of male dominated expectations. Men want women to be thin, not so much to please the eyes, but to perpetuate the image of a small, weak, helpless individual. A lack of power = a lack of resistance.

most men I know like to look at the women in Maxim or Stuff rather than Cosmo or Elle... still thin but with curves. Women are more focused on who's the thinnest. IMO

roki: /Women want skinny rich men too.

FTFY

tshetter: She wont be upstaged on her special day....

Aren't bridesmaids dresses supposed to be smaller than the brides?

/that's the impression I always had

Whoops I Did It Again: SaEmAsMe: most men I know like to look at the women in Maxim or Stuff rather than Cosmo or Elle... still thin but with curves.

There is a large difference between what men choose to look at while involved in self-pleasure, and who men choose to violate when cruising for women on a Friday night.

Ok, that doesn't even make sense because wouldn't those be the same type of women?

You can't be an entertaining troll if I can't understand what you're trying to say!

Whoops I Did It Again: Those women's magazines follow the same tide of male dominated expectations. Men want women to be thin, not so much to please the eyes, but to perpetuate the image of a small, weak, helpless individual. A lack of power = a lack of resistance.

Jenny Craig's not working out too well for you, is it?

I thought "sacking a bridesmaid" was what all the groomsmen were trying to do.

I worked with a fattie who talked constantly about her upcoming wedding. Someone asked if she was going to lose some weight before the big day. Nope, the dress had already been fitted. This was around six months before the wedding date. Dude she married deserved her though.

We were originally planning a medium sized wedding. After we asked our closest friends to be part of the wedding party, their true colors began showing. "I don't want to wear that" "I don't want to walk behind HER....I don't want to stand beside HER" "The colors are awful Sunny" Blah, blah, blah, whine whine whine. I did some soul-searching and realized that I was truly in love with being married, not having a wedding. So, we decided to throw a crawfish boil and invite everyone that was on our wedding invitation list. After everyone arrived, we walked out on the front porch with the J.P. and we married, much to everyone's suprise. We were in t-shirts and shorts and our comfy shoes....totally in our zone. We hurt some feelings that day, but I can honestly look back and say that I don't have one regret.


/11 years ago

This would not have worked for me, as 50% of my bridesmaids were big girls. That, and my wedding was planned within 3 months. It was not a lavish affair.

/married 11 years, still happy