I'm typically a flexible and cheerful person, but if I actually caught the young punk who temporarily had my cash... [insert ITG claim here]

/ punch in the nose?
// public shaming?
/// you be the judge...

Laaa la laaaa de de daaaa
La laaa de de daa da d-WTF?! GTF back here!!!

drunk and have to ppee

"Get your hands off of my women... and my tip jar!"

"It gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say,
It gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say,
it gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say......F*******K"

/Ben Folds

The girl, who turned out to be 15 years old and from New Berlin, handed Paul a wad of dollar bills. Quick-responding mall security officers found more money stuffed in her pockets. She said she stole the cash - about $20 to $30 - so she could treat friends to snacks.


Yeah, right.

/methajuana's bad, kids

What are you laughin' at? Ain't a damn thing funny.

Now that's a pianist with some big balls.

Didn't read the article...

Was it a 12-inch pianist?

/Just asking...

"That's probably why I took off after the girl," he said. "It's not my money, it's God's money."

God: I told you I was hardcore.

And here's a pic of the performer:


/not obscure

Gimme my money back
Gimme my money back
Gimme my money back you biatch...

/And my black T-Shirt

+10 for headline, Subby. Well played.

What does All Music Guide have to do with it?

/Been Caught Stealin'
//???
///Song for the Dumped

MBK: Gimme my money back
Gimme my money back
Gimme my money back you biatch...

/And my black T-Shirt

Well played.

AMG and his hit album (new window)

FTA: "The girl thought she had Billy Joel chasing her, never dreaming it was more like Dean Wormer."

She's on Double Secret Probation now!

MBK: Gimme my money back
Gimme my money back
Gimme my money back you biatch...

/And my black T-Shirt

You win the thread.

Speaking of Ben Folds, I get to see him at the end of this month. Hooray!

The shopping mall where this happened has its share of trouble. Gang activity, violence, all kinds of fun stuff. They've got rules on truancy -- hours that minors have to be accompanied, etc.

Shame, too. Ten years ago it was a really classy place. Never the less, this was the least of the troubles of Mayfair Mall.

yaanu: AMG and his hit album (new window)

LOL

I used to know pretty much all of the lyrics from that.

He was with DJ Quick's crew, right?

My g/f used to work security at that mall. Urban creep set in and decimated the mall on the north side of Milwaukee and the spillover has since hit this one. I'm not surprised at all that this happened.

Security's also been extremely lax with that new supervision policy ever since the holiday season ended. Then again, their security outfit is currently run by tools to begin with thus the exodus of any worthwhile security.

/Misses Northridge circa 1990
//Bayshore got it right with an outdoor revamp
///Southridge will be next to fall after Mayfair

Sounds like a Steinway Faure pianist to Handel a Verdi Riley Tippett at the Chopin Mahler.

/Honegger Pleez

"That's probably why I took off after the girl," he said. "It's not my money, it's God's money."

Sounded like a job for:

Danarchy84: FTA: "The girl thought she had Billy Joel chasing her, never dreaming it was more like Dean Wormer."

She's on Double Secret Probation now!

"This is ridiculous."
"What are we gonna do?"
"... Road trip."

here we GO!!!

FTA:

Wauwatosa police were called, and they took the girl to the station and ticketed her for theft. Her mother was called to come and pick her up. The girl's only other arrest is for a fight at her school last year, the police report says.

Well that's good. She's only been arrested twice in her 15 years.
Because, you know, most 15 year old girls have 20 or more arrests.

Mall cop was probably whispering through his donut, anyway.

lustfrog: "That's probably why I took off after the girl," he said. "It's not my money, it's God's money."

Sounded like a job for:

At first I was happy she got caught, but then I realized there's nothing wrong with stealing God's money. He/She/It has got enough of it.

/i like trying to start flame wars when I'm going to bed

nigerian_eskimo

I thought the same thing. I especially like how the article used the word "only".

The girl got in a fight so bad that the cops had to be called in, and then got dragged out of the school in handcuffs, yet the newspaper mentions it as if it's something completely casual.

Are schools that bad these days?

Been caught stealin'.

/once.
/when I was five.

Yet another self-centered scumbag teen girl. Thanks Paris Hilton, they really do all want to be like you.

Unrepentant, unremorseful thieving teenage girl trifecta in play?

Sounds like the Mall Al Bundy works at.

RoboreR: Been caught stealin'.

/once.
/when I was five.

I didn't just give in

I'll bet race was a big factor...

Notice they never say what the race of the perp was

I'm stealing from a blind busker in the subway right now so I'm getting a real kick out of some of these replies.

alienchickenpie
The girl got in a fight so bad that the cops had to be called in, and then got dragged out of the school in handcuffs, yet the newspaper mentions it as if it's something completely casual.

Are schools that bad these days?

No dear, you misunderstand. The severity of the fight wasn't why the cops were called. It could have just been a scuffle. These days cops are always called if there's a fight in a school. It's part of "zero-tolerance." Usually the only person charged was the one who started it.

Zero-tolerance policies were invented when I was in 7th grade. Which makes me, now a grown woman, a full-fledged member of the zero-tolerance generation.

AMG?
Are we supposed to know/care what an AMG is?

"It's God's money"

/that made me giggle, and throw up in my mouth a little.

robot_in_disguise:
No dear, you misunderstand. The severity of the fight wasn't why the cops were called. It could have just been a scuffle. These days cops are always called if there's a fight in a school. It's part of "zero-tolerance." Usually the only person charged was the one who started it.

Zero-tolerance policies were invented when I was in 7th grade. Which makes me, now a grown woman, a full-fledged member of the zero-tolerance generation.

I graduated from high school in 2004 and most of the fights I witnessed on campus involved neither the police nor "people getting dragged out of the school." And that includes the time two brawling jack-holes decided to fight right next to the sub-master's office and get thrown through the glass door.

/Medford Public High School FTL

I hardly think chasing someone down who stole your money makes you a hero. But, I'm still glad he caught the bi-atch.

Quick hits:

- I'm the subby on this one. I'm still shocked at how excited I get when I have greenlit articles.
- The piano player happens to be my high-school principal (long ago graduated) and is a very decent guy. I haven't seen him playing there in a long time, usually it's the idiot 18-year-old who can't keep his chords straight. BTW I farking HATE bad piano playing; if you can't play it at home without jacking it up, give up your worthless mall gig.
- Mayfair Mall is hardly going down the tubes. The apocolyptic predictions above are just plain bullshiat. Likely written by A) people who fear change, or B) white-flighters who live in our nearly-Aryan suburbs. To suggest that Bayshore Mall is a success is imbecilic; that gutpile is one short step away from Disney.
- Song For The Dumped, one of the greatest ever and the impetus for the headline. AMG is old-school rap and a one-hit wonder, but I can freely admit I owned the cassette single. Jane's Addition is from my wife.

At least it wasn't Five for Fighting.

/gag

Holy crap, Paul bahr? The dude is a nice guy and almost older than dirt. Cool beans for him. He plays rarely nowadays though, but still the best music in that craphole of a mall. If the "riot" for barbershop at the theatre when I worked there didn't slide it down the rails, I doubt much will unless, like Northridge, someone is murdered at the mall. Even then I don't believe the mall has declined enough for that to kill it. It's changing a bit and adapting. It is Wal Mart.

rackrent: Mall cop was probably whispering through his donut, anyway.

hey, baby baby. light that ass on fire.

"give me my money back...
give me my money back...
you biatch"

/Ben Folds

Pianist heard saying, "I kick ass for the Lord."

/Not even REMOTELY obscure

I came in here to say what nigerian_eskimo and TheHumanCannonball said

But while I'm here:
Darbus: Holy crap, Paul bahr? The dude is a nice guy and almost older than dirt.

FTA: He's 57 years old...

Older than dirt? Maybe in the 1800s... now that's just over half a lifetime.

Alpine_Dino: What are you laughin' at? Ain't a damn thing funny.

biatch betta have my money.

Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

/Approves
//Still won't play Mess