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(Onion AV Club) Amusing Armadillin' out of here: 18 particularly ridiculous prog-rock album covers   (avclub.com) divider line 53
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RodneyToady [TotalFark] 2008-01-28 01:49:46 AM  
Two things... One, I knew exactly what Submitter was referring to, as I have Tarkus on vinyl. Two, as part of a Christmas present, my wife (while we were still dating) made me a mug with the front and back cover of King Crimson's In the Court.

 
I_AM_M 2008-01-28 06:50:20 AM  
The greenlight list of whatever it is listed, the top 10 WTF's, no matter what it happens to be, is complete farking B.S.
Can we make it cliche yet?

If you make a top 1-50 list of anything you are a no nothing douche and most people hate your stupid ass for so many reasons, you could make another top 1-50 list why you suck.

 
frostus [TotalFark] 2008-01-28 06:50:23 AM  
I'm from the school that says In The Court Of the Crimson King is one of the greatest album covers of all time. And Captain Beyond rocks even though that particular cover was kind of goofy. The first album was better (musically and cover art-wise).

 
benlonghair [TotalFark] 2008-01-28 07:07:57 AM  
Is steely Dan really considered prog rock?

 
The Glass Dragon 2008-01-28 07:47:24 AM  
The cover for the new Coheed and Cambria album may be a little yag, but the album itself is farking incredible. My second favorite release of 2007.

 
maxx2112 2008-01-28 07:49:38 AM  
If Hemispheres isn't listed, I'm calling Shena . . .

Oh, it's number 4?

Carry on.


/ Hello, Shena? It's there. Never mind.

 
OldManDownDRoad 2008-01-28 08:02:44 AM  
benlonghair: Is steely Dan really considered prog rock?

My reaction as well - WTF?

On the other hand, I sure do miss the pleasure of thumbing through racks of 12" album covers just to look at the designs. Them was the days.

/lawn
//off

 
Entity79 [TotalFark] 2008-01-28 08:42:05 AM  
Steely Dan is actually considered jazz fusion, so it's prog-related.

Most of these albums are awesome, some of the best music, IMHO.

Especially the Van Der Graaf Generator and King Crimson albums.

 
Fark Me with a Chainsaw 2008-01-28 08:47:55 AM  
Dream Theater are from NYC not Boston. (They met there when they went to Berklee, but all dropped out)

I too, would rather not look at man-ass when listening to Rush.

 
Olympus Mons 2008-01-28 09:02:47 AM  
Yeah that Rush CD with the nude mans back.....ouch. Yes did a nude man CD cover also..Going for the one, or something like that. Give me a nude females back any day.

And what would be the best progressive rock covers? The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway - Genesis? Moroccan Roll - Brand X? Wish You Were Here - Pink Flyod? (BTW nude woman behind red scarf) Brain Salad Surgery by ELP would get my vote, although its not my favorite Prog Rock. Gieger, the artist that designed Alien was behind that art. Also Brain salad Surgery was a slang for something else than gray matter lettuce....:)

BTW I like the Steely Dan cover.

 
Svingen999 [TotalFark] 2008-01-28 09:08:03 AM  
All the Yes album covers are Brasky family photos.

 
NimbleWalrus 2008-01-28 09:08:21 AM  
I_AM_M: The greenlight list of whatever it is listed, the top 10 WTF's, no matter what it happens to be, is complete farking B.S.
Can we make it cliche yet?

If you make a top 1-50 list of anything you are a no nothing douche and most people hate your stupid ass for so many reasons, you could make another top 1-50 list why you suck.


Dude, chill out.

 
RealityChuck 2008-01-28 09:13:51 AM  
There is no thing in the world that a half-witted snark artist with no more knowledge than a folding chair can't make smartass remarks about and call it "criticism." And if he can snark into a list, then it's on Fark.

Wait until someone 30 years from now starts writing about the albums covers of today.

In any case, "Crimson King" is a great cover, "Camel" obviously goes over the writer's head (not particularly hard), and most of the others are good and memorable images. "Can't Buy a Thrill," was always ugly, and "Tarkus" too cartoony, but this isn't criticism, it's mindless carping based on limited knowledge and self-adoring assumptions.

For the best prog rock cover, I'd go with "Ummagumma" and "Crimson King."

 
Gulper Eel [TotalFark] 2008-01-28 09:21:41 AM  
I came looking for Nursery Cryme and was not disappointed.

 
eatit 2008-01-28 09:22:01 AM  
Despite the weird album cover, that Mars Volta album is totally awesome dude. Seriously DUDE.

 
liquidlen [TotalFark] 2008-01-28 09:27:14 AM  
Foxtrot's cover should trump Nursery Cryme's, since it also has the Nursery Cryme cover as part of it.

Dave Whitehead is awesome.

 
radioberlin 2008-01-28 10:10:44 AM  
I often think about buying records just for the super 70's art. After all, they're usually just a dollar.

 
MikoSquiz 2008-01-28 10:15:10 AM  
The King Crimson cover's great! The others.. uh, yeah, what he said.

Also, Dream Theater - prog-metal? I didn't know Boston and Foreigner were considered metal.

 
Derwood 2008-01-28 10:28:09 AM  
De-Loused in the Comatorium and Frances the Mute's covers were both designed by Storm Thurgenson (sp?) (of Hipgnosis.....they designed nearly every Pink Floyd cover)

 
Now That's What I Call a Taco! 2008-01-28 10:29:16 AM  
RealityChuck: "Camel" obviously goes over the writer's head (not particularly hard),

Come on, man- it's a picture of a freaking astronaut being crucified in space. That ain't going over anyone's head. And that doesn't even include the title. You can love a genre of music while still being able to poke fun at its flaws.

/It's like, Jesus rose, right? So he probably needed a space suit, man.
//Whoa.

 
Mr_Fabulous 2008-01-28 10:32:10 AM  
First things first: No, Steely Dan is not prog. Especially not that first album.

Secondly: This list is utterly useless without Nektar Recycled.

www.thenightowl.com

 
tarkus1980 [TotalFark] 2008-01-28 10:58:12 AM  
As an armadillo tank, I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

 
jdwiggy 2008-01-28 10:59:10 AM  
images.amazon.com

 
barefoot in the head [TotalFark] 2008-01-28 11:24:04 AM  
This list simply illustrates the atrophy of the spirit that occurs when a creative period of imagination and idealism is followed by a period of grim, literal brutishness.

/And don't you be "fixing" anything for me, you skinhead Woodstock arsonists, you.

 
taglius 2008-01-28 11:37:49 AM  
what's sad is how many of those albums/CDs I actually own.

//progger thru and thru.

 
Suflig 2008-01-28 11:49:12 AM  
I have the Fates Warning CD.

 
Roto-Rot 2008-01-28 12:14:32 PM  
Yes' Tormato is both a terrible name and a terrible album cover rolled into one.

Genesis Invisible Touch is probably their most unsightly album cover (although more pop than prog).

 
Gunny Highway 2008-01-28 12:36:43 PM  
I may be a dumbass but what exactly makes rock "progrock"

 
Music Nerd 2008-01-28 01:21:25 PM  
www.avclub.com

FTFA: The head looks like a cross between Peter Gabriel and C-3PO

The Onion's still got it.


And count me as one who's always likes the Genesis cover. And I know they had one Yes album, but seems like they coulda skipped Steely Dan and made room for Going For The One.

And what about pretentious album covers of other genres? Exhibit A:
www.dance-lyrics.com

 
Gangway Fathead 2008-01-28 02:38:22 PM  
The Glass Dragon: The cover for the new Coheed and Cambria album may be a little yag, but the album itself is farking incredible. My second favorite release of 2007.

I completely agree. I love it from start to finish.
/I want to drop a Porcupine Tree reference in this thread, but none of their album covers are all that listable.

 
klondikekd 2008-01-28 02:40:30 PM  
I like my album cover to have semen on them.

www.rockmagazyn.com

 
barneyfifesbullet 2008-01-28 03:37:55 PM  
Decorate thine façade with resplendent self-seriousness

That, from the Onion AV Club. A place where movies are described as Cinema.

 
hibouface 2008-01-28 03:52:02 PM  
Gunny Highway: I may be a dumbass but what exactly makes rock "progrock"

Progressive rock combines standard rock forms, with other forms from jazz, classical music, and other genres. Add in some crazy sonic experiments, lyrics about myths and legends or amazing journeys through space and time, and voila! Glorious prog-rock! If you want a good primer, check out:

Genesis - Foxtrot (Watcher of the Skies, Supper's Ready)
King Crimson - In the Court of the Crimson King (moonchild, title track)
Moody Blues - In Search of the Lost Chord (legend of a mind)
ELP - Brain Salad Surgery (Karn Evil 9 (all movements))

 
chitownmike 2008-01-28 04:21:35 PM  
klondikekd: I like my album cover to have semen on them.

whoever blew that should see a doctor, SOON

 
Necrosis 2008-01-28 04:22:36 PM  
I've got a shirt with the head from the De-Loused In The Comatorium album...some people give me strange looks.

/sweet album
//silly name
///silly cover too

 
remnant 2008-01-28 04:53:59 PM  
www.deanjustisswheeler.com

 
GypsyJoker 2008-01-28 05:28:42 PM  
remnant wins.

List fails for considering ITCOTCK to be a bad cover. Islands was the worst Crimson cover, but the picture on it was never intended to actually be the cover. (Sort of like how Rush's Caress of Steel wound up being printed in gold, rather than chrome.)

The Yes Album has a pretty lame cover. "Let's put the band in a closet and throw in a mannequin head." 90125 and Big Generator were pretty bad too.

Marillion's Fugazi might even be worse than Script.

ELP's debut had a pretty weak cover, too.

 
IMDWalrus [TotalFark] 2008-01-28 05:43:11 PM  
In high school, my robotics team was named the Steel Armadillos.

One of our robots was named Tarkus.

/sad thing was, most of the kids on the team had no idea who the group was

 
Gunny Highway 2008-01-28 06:39:16 PM  
hibouface

Thanks was always hazy on what exactly what died Prog bands together.

/kinda what i thought

 
Kali-Yuga 2008-01-28 07:57:57 PM  
Best Prog rock album cover?

i142.photobucket.com

/Alex Grey FTW

 
mahavishnunj 2008-01-28 08:00:51 PM  
hibouface: Moody Blues - In Search of the Lost Chord (legend of a mind)
no and-
hibouface: King Crimson - In the Court of the Crimson King (moonchild, title track)
HELL no.

props to remnant on the love beach cover though.

 
davynelson 2008-01-28 08:17:01 PM  
very stupid list
concept is too easy
and the choices too weak

 
destitute college kid 2008-01-28 09:54:18 PM  
Gunny Highway: I may be a dumbass but what exactly makes rock "progrock"

Pretentiousness of lyrics +
Number of pointless, overly intricate, out-of-place solos +
Number of pointless, overly intricate, out-of-place rhythm changes
x (Lack of any sense of passion, enjoyment, enthusiasm, personality or tendency to regard music as anything but a skilled labor task, like bricklaying + hair length of band members)
/ number of fans who aren't virgins
= A band's Progrock quotient, or P

 
destitute college kid 2008-01-28 09:55:44 PM  
Oh, forgot to add D, or amount of drugs necessary to enjoy the music on any level.

 
mahavishnunj 2008-01-28 10:55:20 PM  
complete ignorance of the subject matter + extreme gheyness=destitute college kids music comprehension skills.

seriously man, that description doesnt even work for the prog bands that suck and typify the worst qualities of the genre. you fail.

 
steve_s 2008-01-28 11:07:04 PM  
Any one know the source of the photo used in the collage cover of Steely Dan's Can't Buy A Thrill.

The picture with the prostitutes looks like it came from the 1940's. Was it supposed to be 42nd in New York? Or some other red light area? This has been bugging me for a while and the internets has failed me in providing a clue about where it was taken.

Anyone have any ideas or clues? Please help.

 
destitute college kid 2008-01-28 11:23:16 PM  
mahavishnunj: complete ignorance of the subject matter + extreme gheyness=destitute college kids music comprehension skills.

seriously man, that description doesnt even work for the prog bands that suck and typify the worst qualities of the genre. you fail.


As someone who doesn't listen to prog-rock, I succeed at life in general infinitely more than someone who does listen to prog-rock.

/looks at my vinyls from high school: yep, there's Yes, King Crimson, Steely Dan, Tool, Dream Theatre, ELP
//I have a little better taste now than I did in high school

 
mahavishnunj 2008-01-28 11:29:54 PM  
destitute college kid: As someone who doesn't listen to prog-rock

so you make a habit of injecting bad humor into threads about music that you know nothing about? bad humor can become not bad humor if you have some knowledge of what youre attempting to make fun of. just putting that out there for you.

destitute college kid: I succeed at life in general infinitely more than someone who does listen to prog-rock.

id love to see the hard facts that back up this intelligent statement! i dont like death metal, so i win at life more than people who do!

i find it interesting you have tool and dream theater on vinyl, and looking at that intense list of bands you have there it appears you even failed miserably at being a prog fan back when you were 'still' young and stupid.

 
M-G 2008-01-29 01:33:32 AM  
The use of the King Crimson cover is pretty funny. My KC tour shirt from THRAK has a montage of various album covers, including ITCOTCK. My 2 year old has, for last year, always pointed to that and said, "That's a _scary_ face." So she'd agree about their 'incredibly creepy' statement.

As for their description of 'Hemispheres,' it seems like they're missing something. C'mon guys, isn't it pretty obvious the two figures represent the classical characteristics of the brain's two sides..no, no....there's some technical term...oh yeah, hemispheres!

 
rka 2008-01-29 02:44:32 AM  
RealityChuck: There is no thing in the world that a half-witted snark artist with no more knowledge than a folding chair can't make smartass remarks about and call it "criticism." And if he can snark into a list, then it's on Fark.

Where people proceed to snark on it.

 
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