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(Denver Post) Asinine Man counts every sheet of toilet paper he uses and discovers Angel Soft only delivers an average of 156.75 sheets of the 198 promised, so he calls the Better Business Bureau and makes a stink   (denverpost.com) divider line 149
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Sinister Steve [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-01-26 06:40:37 PM  
Did it occur to anyone that maybe the old coot doesn't know how to add right?

 
Bob Ondeeznuts 2008-01-26 06:51:40 PM  
I wonder if they monitor how many adult diapers they go through in a week. Probably depends on what their eating that week.

 
queezyweezel 2008-01-26 07:08:01 PM  
Without RTFA, I'm going to guess that he counted each two ply piece as a sheet, and not two sheets.

 
BKITU [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 07:14:58 PM  
Good use of the ASININE tag, Subby!

 
harryasaboy 2008-01-26 07:37:57 PM  
What an asswipe!

 
steevmit 2008-01-26 08:04:17 PM  
I often wonder what interests I might have as a dribbling 80-year old, hopefully counting bog paper won't be one of them, unless it is for pure, selfish financial gain.

 
BigDumbGuy 2008-01-26 08:08:30 PM  
Poop thread! And it is green poop!
img155.imageshack.us
This sounds like some of the crap my father would pull out of his asshole.

 
steevmit 2008-01-26 08:28:02 PM  
The kid on the book doesn't poop too easily by the look of things.

 
enterprise213 [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 08:37:29 PM  
I'm taking a huge dump right now, so I'm really getting a kick......

 
Egon Spengler 2008-01-26 09:11:49 PM  
hero tag on vacation???

this guy is taking one for the team, least we can do is praise him and his OCDness.


/vital farking service

 
Zik-Zak 2008-01-26 09:31:45 PM  
He HAS to have 198!?

God, this guy is so anal-retentive...

 
Lionel Mandrake [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 09:35:18 PM  
"We'll get right on that, Granpa"

 
cpux 2008-01-26 09:35:31 PM  
I thought this was boring until I saw this little tidbit at the bottom:

An average of 666 rolls of toilet paper are used at the Pentagon each day.

Which of course proves that the US Government = the Antichrist.

 
skinbubble 2008-01-26 09:35:52 PM  
Well, In this persons defense...40 sheets could be very handy.

/likes the Charmin

 
Interrupted Infinitum 2008-01-26 09:36:05 PM  
Zik-Zak: He HAS to have 198!?

God, this guy is so anal-retentive...


Alright, that was a good one.

 
Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo 2008-01-26 09:36:39 PM  
Hell, amen for these OCD coots. They help keep companies honest. "There GODDAMN BETTER be TWO SCOOPS in my GODDAMN RAISIN BRAN!!!" More power to em...

 
mark12A 2008-01-26 09:36:56 PM  
More like ASS-inine!

/Hyuk-hyuk-hyuk

 
Thor's Raging Ball of Flaming Nuclear Fury 2008-01-26 09:37:02 PM  
assinine!

 
Thor's Raging Ball of Flaming Nuclear Fury 2008-01-26 09:37:55 PM  
mark12a - you son of a biatch!!

 
MaritimeGirl [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-01-26 09:38:04 PM  
Well, if a company was getting away with producing 20% less than advertised, that would be an issue.

Maybe in 40 years when I'm retired and really bored, I'll count paper towel sheets instead :) I'll post my findings to Fark if it's still around...

 
indylaw 2008-01-26 09:38:38 PM  
Is the subby's point that the man needs to get a life, or that a company shouldn't be held accountable for its claims as long as no one would be expected to check, or that toilet paper touches the anus?

 
Interrupted Infinitum 2008-01-26 09:38:43 PM  
Thor's Raging Ball of Flaming Nuclear Fury: mark12a - you son of a biatch!!

More like an asshole.

 
PoochUMD 2008-01-26 09:39:39 PM  
Sinister Steve: Did it occur to anyone that maybe the old coot doesn't know how to add right?

I think thats the only explanation. All of his rolls from every manufacturer came up short, yet when the Denver post counted, all of the rolls had the right amount.

Hope I die before I start spending my time counting toothpicks and toilet paper squares.

 
TheAbstractor [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 09:40:28 PM  
img401.imageshack.us

approves

 
Software2 2008-01-26 09:40:37 PM  
Um... wouldn't you be pissed off you were getting only 75% of what you paid for?

 
MaritimeGirl [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-01-26 09:41:31 PM  
I don't have a square to spare, I can't spare a square

 
kilgorn 2008-01-26 09:42:09 PM  
Oh, it's only Colorado

 
camaroash 2008-01-26 09:42:19 PM  
Considering you used to need an extender to fit a densely packed triple-roll in your holder and now you "need" one for a quad-roll that feels like a pillow...

Yeah...

 
Norad [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 09:42:48 PM  
And what's the deal with toilet paper? You ever take a big ol healthy shiat and start wiping your ass, only to poke through the paper and give yourself an impromptu cancer screening?

And HEY...don't get me started on airline food!

 
Enuratique 2008-01-26 09:42:53 PM  
FTFA: Before toilet tissue, wealthy Romans used wool and rosewater or sponges soaked in salt water at the end of a stick.

And Muslims used their bare left hand.

 
Kareeshus 2008-01-26 09:43:07 PM  
I once bought a couple bags of clothespins for a school project and came up really short. I bought 4 bags of 100, and I needed and expected to get 400. Actually got closer to 340.

 
soy_bomb 2008-01-26 09:44:21 PM  
img213.imageshack.us
I only use the good stuff...

 
phillydrifter 2008-01-26 09:44:47 PM  
Said man is the actual person the movie '40 year old virgin' was based on.

 
Thor's Raging Ball of Flaming Nuclear Fury 2008-01-26 09:45:03 PM  
on the consumer's side, most people don't realize how the manufacturer's bottom line is affected by simple volume... an example that i give my wife:

wolf/ritz camera loves to push the white border prints... though a few prints don't phase the consumer, it makes a huge impact for the printer... that little 1/4-1/8 inch probably saves them a hell of a lot of money...

of course, this is entirely speculation and even if true, i think it's brilliant on their part... i'm sure there are plenty of other examples..

 
plutonium239 2008-01-26 09:46:14 PM  
Easy to loose count when you keep interupting your dump to chase people off your lawn.

 
raslinmike 2008-01-26 09:46:29 PM  
Someone should TP his lawn...

 
soy_bomb 2008-01-26 09:46:34 PM  
MaritimeGirl: I don't have a square to spare, I can't spare a square

img245.imageshack.us

 
mark12A 2008-01-26 09:48:26 PM  
Thor's Raging Ball of Flaming Nuclear Fury: mark12a - you son of a biatch!!

More like an asshole.


By six seconds, biatches!!!

 
Softens_hands_while_you_do_the_dishes 2008-01-26 09:48:34 PM  
enterprise213 snort.

Now as far as how this stacks up on the consumer complaint continuum I'll state you pick based on the Charmin effect (feel at the store, heft whatever) and the porcelain effect (feel at home as rub it on your crack). So what will happen is this company will send old coot several coupons for free stuff and make a promise to "update" their literature. That way it's nobody's fault and like I said, it's not like anyone looks at the sheet count on the package other than a couple eccentrics.

Also based on the jaded replies, I'd say Ralph Nader can save his application filing fee to run for President.

 
kilgorn 2008-01-26 09:49:36 PM  
extras.mnginteractive.com

Father Flannigan's poop shoot dispensor 101...

/elective

 
Thor's Raging Ball of Flaming Nuclear Fury 2008-01-26 09:50:56 PM  
mark12A: Thor's Raging Ball of Flaming Nuclear Fury: mark12a - you son of a biatch!!

More like an asshole.

By six seconds, biatches!!!


my fists are shaking above my head in fury... thus, the ellipsis... ellipsis... ellipsis...

 
Cerebral Ballsy [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 09:51:28 PM  
Gee, cheating you out of your money to the tune of nearly 25% of the price of the toilet paper? Maybe I should run my business this way since you guys don't seem to mind so much.

 
jake3988 2008-01-26 09:52:06 PM  
Man counts every sheet of toilet paper he uses and discovers Angel Soft only delivers an average of 156.75 sheets of the 198 promised, so he calls the Better Business Bureau and makes a stink
===================

That's 31 sheets! I used about 10 of those rolls this semester at school... that's 310 sheets. That's an extra two rolls!

Think about it!

 
VeloVol 2008-01-26 09:54:13 PM  
I like how the Denver Post url has it in a "breakingnews" file.

 
1facekim 2008-01-26 09:54:19 PM  
it all evens out i once got 7 chicken mcnuggets once

 
saomai 2008-01-26 09:54:45 PM  
Ok, it's silly he counted it but seriously at 4 sheets per use as a woman on a pee trip that is 10 trips if they're shorting me 40 sheets.

 
adm_crunch 2008-01-26 09:55:05 PM  
Norad: And what's the deal with toilet paper? You ever take a big ol healthy shiat and start wiping your ass, only to poke through the paper and give yourself an impromptu cancer screening?


I LOLed.

 
dvpierce 2008-01-26 09:55:52 PM  
Considering that his box of toothpicks came up short too, I'm guessing he's making math errors.

I've actually counted a box of toothpicks more than once, and they all came out right on the nose. (Don't ask.)

 
Oldiron_79 2008-01-26 09:56:18 PM  
Did someone say green crap?

homepage.mac.com

This stuff will make your crap green.

 
zn0k 2008-01-26 09:57:08 PM  
i bet his wife was in there stealing sheets in between dumps laughing her ass off. i don't think i could live without someone doing something that stupid without farking with their endeavor.

 
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