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(MSNBC) Scary NSC announces that a huge spy satellite has lost power and propulsion, there's no way to stop it, and they have no idea where it will smash into on Earth. Have a nice day   (msnbc.msn.com) divider line 156
More: Scary  

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Norad [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 06:49:48 PM  
Pike also said it's not likely the threat from the satellite could be eliminated by shooting it down with a missile, because that would create debris that would then re-enter the atmosphere and burn up or hit the ground.

Just how big IS that motherfarker?

 
paulseta [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 07:08:37 PM  
Oh, this should be fun.

endoftheworldfor.us

 
Red Fist Of Harmony [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 07:11:02 PM  
Norad: Just how big IS that motherfarker?

FTFA: Pike, director of the defense research group GlobalSecurity.org, estimated that the spacecraft weighs about 20,000 pounds and is the size of a small bus.

/RIF

 
Canadian Canuck [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 07:20:01 PM  
Considering what modern physics can do, I doubt this is really true. They'll figure out where it will land very soon.

 
Discordian36 2008-01-26 07:27:54 PM  
Odds are this is USA-193, or NROL-21.

It was launched on a Delta II 7920 10C with the extended fairing, making it's maximum mass about 11,300 lbs.

It was a one-off "New Tech" bird with some highly - I mean HIGHLY - classified stuff on board.

DoD payloads are not subject to the debris mitigation protocols that other satellites are.. meaning comsats usually are designed with parts that burn up easily.

The geeks around the net are working on this one.

 
Because People in power are Stupid 2008-01-26 07:40:28 PM  
We Chinese,
We play game,
Shoot down satellite,
With our Plane.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16689558/ (new window)

/It might not make sense. But it rhymes.

 
steevmit 2008-01-26 08:12:32 PM  
I wonder if Virgin Galactic have some contingency plans for one of their spaceplanes getting hit by orbital debris. It's a disaster movie waiting to happen.

/can't wait for them to open Milliways though

 
bitteroldman 2008-01-26 08:16:49 PM  
...The satellite, which no longer can be controlled, could contain hazardous materials...

Having spent a lifetime in the aerospace/defense industry, I will translate.
The satellite's contents are not so dangerous and it will likely be nothing more than a molten lump when it hits the ground, but some part may survive and could be sold to one of our "enemies" so don't touch it.

 
Manic_Repressive [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 08:24:26 PM  
This seems strangely familiar, somehow. Oh yeah...

i106.photobucket.com

/old enough to remember that one
//also old enough to have seen Defcon 4 in the theater

 
steevmit 2008-01-26 08:25:48 PM  
bitteroldman: The satellite's contents are not so dangerous and it will likely be nothing more than a molten lump when it hits the ground, but some part may survive and could be sold to one of our "enemies" so don't touch it.

So some of the onboard chips could be worth a $hia£load of money?

 
Lionel Mandrake [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 08:30:53 PM  
....oh please let it be Tulsa...oh please, oh please....

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 09:27:12 PM  
B-b-b-b-b-but "gravity" is just a "theory"!

 
paulseta [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 09:39:45 PM  
i246.photobucket.com

Or maybe:

i246.photobucket.com

He he he.

Or maybe our version (and I am NOT saying we have one) of:

i246.photobucket.com

 
enterprise213 [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 09:45:11 PM  
Lionel Mandrake: ....oh please let it be Tulsa New Orleans...oh please, oh please....

FTFM

 
the_chief 2008-01-26 10:10:15 PM  
Plutonium batteries.

 
rawkus 2008-01-26 10:11:12 PM  
i, for one, welcome our new malfunctioning, uncontrollable metal space monster overlords

 
kilgorn 2008-01-26 10:11:45 PM  
I've got a secret....but not telling you where I will land...

/even the cows must panic

 
Sultan Of Herf 2008-01-26 10:12:39 PM  
Get Austin Millbarge and Emmett Fitz-Hume on this ASAP...

 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 10:13:00 PM  
Heads Up!

 
indylaw 2008-01-26 10:13:29 PM  
the_chief: Plutonium batteries.

How else are you going to get the 1.21 gigawatts required for the flux capacitor, Marty? Man, the Libyans are going to be pissed.

 
wxboy 2008-01-26 10:13:59 PM  
Canadian Canuck: Considering what modern physics can do, I doubt this is really true. They'll figure out where it will land very soon.

You would think so, but:

FTA: In 2002, officials believe debris from a 7,000-pound science satellite smacked into the Earth's atmosphere and rained down over the Persian Gulf, a few thousand miles from where they first predicted it would plummet.

 
Oober_Dave 2008-01-26 10:14:30 PM  
This sounds like a job for Bruce Willis and his ragtag team of oil drillers.

 
Oldiron_79 2008-01-26 10:14:33 PM  
I'm not worried, I have a bunker. Hey, it came with the house.

 
Phil Moskowitz 2008-01-26 10:16:43 PM  
Enjoy your plutonium.

 
Churchill2004 [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 10:17:49 PM  
It's important to note that the terminal velocity of whatever's left after re-entry will probably not be very fast, or very hot. Remember all the relatively undamaged debris they recovered from Columbia? Anything that doesn't get burned up has a fairly high chance of surviving and being recognizable, which explains their concern about classified technology.

I'd like to know how they lost control of it, though. I imagine they're usually pretty good at sending these things on a controlled burn-up before it reaches the point where they can't control it anymore.

 
ClintonKun 2008-01-26 10:19:00 PM  
Free Tacos!

 
mark12A 2008-01-26 10:19:12 PM  
Plutonium batteries.

Probably not. Solar panels provide enough power for recon satellites. Everybody is saying this thing probably looks just like the Hubble telescope.

And if it DOES have Pu batteries, the Pu will be encased in a graphite assembly that will survive re-entry in one piece, and bury itself somewhere when it hits the ground or water at about a bazillion mph...

/bazillion = a jillion raised to the umpteenth power

 
nodubs 2008-01-26 10:20:10 PM  
Didn't Donna Moss already deal with this problem in west Wing?

 
wxboy 2008-01-26 10:20:17 PM  
Churchill2004: I'd like to know how they lost control of it, though. I imagine they're usually pretty good at sending these things on a controlled burn-up before it reaches the point where they can't control it anymore.

My guess would be that the satellite got hit by something (like a small meteor), or something broke down unexpectedly, like communications or the maneuvering rockets.

 
Churchill2004 [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 10:20:39 PM  
Canadian Canuck: Considering what modern physics can do, I doubt this is really true. They'll figure out where it will land very soon.

It's actually really hard to predict if it's an orbital decay re-entry (as opposed to a controlled re-entry). That's because the atmosphere is constantly fluctuating, changing how much drag is or isn't affecting the spacecraft at any given altitude. When you consider the exponential nature of orbital decay and the unpredictable nature of atmospheric drag, it's not much of a surprise they have a hard time predicting where it will land.

 
TheAbstractor [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 10:20:49 PM  
i268.photobucket.com

. . . and that's where the Cloverfield monster came from.

/Obscure? You're damn right it is!

 
RoadRage78 2008-01-26 10:21:13 PM  
FTFA: As for possible hazardous material in the spacecraft, Pike said it might contain beryllium, a light metal with a high melting point that is used in the defense and aerospace industries.

I work with beryllium every day, So I'm really... Seriously, almost everything aerospace, and defense has beryllium in it.


Link (new window)

 
pinch_harmonics 2008-01-26 10:21:15 PM  
Does it contain some kick ass zombie alien virus? I'm stocking up on shotgun shells and canned corns!

 
Churchill2004 [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 10:22:01 PM  
wxboy: Churchill2004: I'd like to know how they lost control of it, though. I imagine they're usually pretty good at sending these things on a controlled burn-up before it reaches the point where they can't control it anymore.

My guess would be that the satellite got hit by something (like a small meteor), or something broke down unexpectedly, like communications or the maneuvering rockets.


Most likely. It'd still be interesting to know, though I doubt we ever will. As any one who knows anything about spaceflight will tell you, rule number one is simple: shiat Happens.

 
Rene ala Carte 2008-01-26 10:22:32 PM  
Mr. Sulu,

Arm the photon torpedoes.

 
dlpriest 2008-01-26 10:22:58 PM  
The impact of the plutonium batteries at that speed won't cause it to compress reaching critical mass would it?

That's how that works in a nuclear warhead right? The fissile material is compressed by explosives causing it to reach critical mass and start the reaction?

 
comslave 2008-01-26 10:24:13 PM  
74.92.166.161
We never fail Mr Bond.

 
ScottMpls 2008-01-26 10:24:47 PM  
/goes to check homeowners insurance policy

 
Get Lost 2008-01-26 10:26:29 PM  
For a Top Secret satellite...Why the hell are they telling us anything. Unless?????

/Space babies being bred in that satellite and when they get in Earths oxygen mix.
//KABOOM.
///After they pillage all the beer on earth.

 
mark12A 2008-01-26 10:27:29 PM  
Hey, its happened before. Apollo 13 had a Pu battery in the lunar module when they limped back from the moon (the Pu-239 radioisotope generator was for powering the Lunar Experiments package that they were to unload and set up on the moon)

When the abandoned lunar module came zorching into the atmosphere, it burned up, and the Pu cask is believed to have impacted somewhere in the Sulu Sea. Never found or detected.

 
doofusgumby [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 10:27:33 PM  
dlpriest: The impact of the plutonium batteries at that speed won't cause it to compress reaching critical mass would it?

That's how that works in a nuclear warhead right? The fissile material is compressed by explosives causing it to reach critical mass and start the reaction?


it has to be shaped just right, and of sufficient quantity and quality. plutonium batteries have none of those.

 
Malinki 2008-01-26 10:28:22 PM  
There's a keyhole joke here somewhere, just having trouble finding it.

 
dbaggins 2008-01-26 10:28:37 PM  
dlpriest: The impact of the plutonium batteries at that speed won't cause it to compress reaching critical mass would it?

That's how that works in a nuclear warhead right? The fissile material is compressed by explosives causing it to reach critical mass and start the reaction?


you require highly symmetric implosion. If it was just a matter of smacking it hard enough, the N. Korean bomb would have worked.

 
brightestfell [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 10:28:44 PM  
Clint Eastwood will save the day don't worry .

 
Churchill2004 [TotalFark] 2008-01-26 10:29:01 PM  
dlpriest: The impact of the plutonium batteries at that speed won't cause it to compress reaching critical mass would it?

Something has to be pretty big to not be traveling at terminal velocity after re-entry. Much bigger than anything on that satellite.

dlpriest: That's how that works in a nuclear warhead right? The fissile material is compressed by explosives causing it to reach critical mass and start the reaction?

It has to be an extremely precise compression, though. The explosives are molded using the same equipment they use to make eyeglass lenses. So, in short: there's not a chance in hell.

Where did you get this idea about "plutonium batteries", anyway? TFA doesn't have anything about it, and radiothermic generators are usually only used on unmanned probes to the outer planets, where solar energy isn't a viable option. I can't imagine why they'd be used in low earth orbit, though I know the Russians have done it a few times back in the early days.

 
torquestripe 2008-01-26 10:29:02 PM  
If it hits my house will my homeowners insurance cover the damage?
Do I need to get satellite insurance?

 
Falcc 2008-01-26 10:29:20 PM  
Here's hoping it lands on Dick Cheney.. or wait Hillary Clinton.. or.. man it was so much easier hating people before we started voting for new people to fark us over.

 
godofusa.com 2008-01-26 10:29:33 PM  
QUICK CALL BEN AFFLECK!!!!11zomg!1

 
elpepe55 2008-01-26 10:29:45 PM  
Having a spy satellite crash through your roof and kill you while you sleep might be the worst way to die...

 
torquestripe 2008-01-26 10:31:20 PM  
ScottMpls: /goes to check homeowners insurance policy

OOPS! You beat me to it.

 
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