Nobody wants to name their son Queens I guess.

Madison is old and tired?

How's come "Da Bronx" don't get no respect?

In high school he'll be called Crooklyn.

The Brooklyns will have their name changed to Staten Island soon enough. Then the Staten Islands will become Jerseys and the Jerseys will become Pennsylvanias.

/It's the cycle

I'm sure we at FARK can work together to eradicate this national plague of stupid names.

Proposed rules for naming children (amendments appreciated):

(1) It should be spelled like it sounds, or with a common spelling.
(2) It should not make people say: "Wait, what? Can you repeat that?"
(3) If you can't picture a father/mother, grandmother/grandfather walking around with that name, don't use it.
(4) If children weren't being named that name a hundred years ago, it is not a real name and you should not be using it.

It's a shame Yonkers isn't a borough.

Because that would totally rule as a name.

Yonkers.

What? No one is going to name their kid Manhattan?

And strangely, I see lots of dogs with the name "Mike", "Bob", "Belle", "Mary", "Buster"... so I guess people name their pit bulls normal names and their kids "Orangello"?

TFA: "We both love New York, and the name seemed very feminine, yet unique and a bit edgy without sounding trendy."

I think the quality she was trying to describe here is strippery.

If I had five donkeys I'd name them Queens, Staten Island, Bronx, Manhattan, and Brooklyn.

birdmanesq: (1) It should be spelled like it sounds, or with a common spelling.
(2) It should not make people say: "Wait, what? Can you repeat that?"
(3) If you can't picture a father/mother, grandmother/grandfather walking around with that name, don't use it.
(4) If children weren't being named that name a hundred years ago, it is not a real name and you should not be using it.

(5) If your daughter's name appears more often on Foobies.com than it does on c-span.org, you will be forcibly sterilized before you completely corrupt the gene pool with your idiocy. Any daughters you've already had will be renamed Amy, Barbara, Catherine, Diane and so forth so that when they grow up they'll at least have some kind of shot at a job that doesn't involve hairnets or working the pole.

It's pronounced Azz-WEE-pay.

Gulper Eel: (5) If your daughter's name appears more often on Foobies.com than it does on c-span.org, you will be forcibly sterilized before you completely corrupt the gene pool with your idiocy. Any daughters you've already had will be renamed Amy, Barbara, Catherine, Diane and so forth so that when they grow up they'll at least have some kind of shot at a job that doesn't involve hairnets or working the pole.

So you're saying I shouldn't have named my daughter Alexxxys?

Lynbrook is much prettier. Just sayin'

/LI native

birdmanesq: I'm sure we at FARK can work together to eradicate this national plague of stupid names.

Proposed rules for naming children (amendments appreciated):

(1) It should be spelled like it sounds, or with a common spelling.
(2) It should not make people say: "Wait, what? Can you repeat that?"
(3) If you can't picture a father/mother, grandmother/grandfather walking around with that name, don't use it.
(4) If children weren't being named that name a hundred years ago, it is not a real name and you should not be using it.

5) It must be acceptable and non-threatening to the white people in the suburbs who are scared of change.

hemi cuda: Lynbrook is much prettier. Just sayin'

/LI native

And on that note, I'll be naming my firstborn son Lord Huntington :p

Well, I was thinking about naming my first kid "East Fishkill". Does that work?

Gulper Eel: birdmanesq: (1) It should be spelled like it sounds, or with a common spelling.
(2) It should not make people say: "Wait, what? Can you repeat that?"
(3) If you can't picture a father/mother, grandmother/grandfather walking around with that name, don't use it.
(4) If children weren't being named that name a hundred years ago, it is not a real name and you should not be using it.

(5) If your daughter's name appears more often on Foobies.com than it does on c-span.org, you will be forcibly sterilized before you completely corrupt the gene pool with your idiocy. Any daughters you've already had will be renamed Amy, Barbara, Catherine, Diane and so forth so that when they grow up they'll at least have some kind of shot at a job that doesn't involve hairnets or working the pole.

Heros, wise beyond their years.

BigDumbGuy: Nobody wants to name their son Queens I guess.

How about "Kwaeenz"?

destitute college kid: 5) It must be acceptable and non-threatening to the white people in the suburbs who are scared of change.

The white people in the suburbs are too busy shoehorning the letter "Y" everywhere possible and dreaming up new variations of psuedo-Celtic names in a bid to sound "classy."

destitute college kid: 5) It must be acceptable and non-threatening to the white people in the suburbs who are scared of change.

So Harlem is right out then?

"I could only save three of my buddies: Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas, only one of them was from Brooklyn."

My kids name: East L.A.

Jesus. The true definition of irony is people who have willingly named themselves birdmanesq and GulperEel have now taken it upon themselves to be the administers of wisdom on naming conventions.

Glass houses, boys.

xtex: And strangely, I see lots of dogs with the name "Mike", "Bob", "Belle", "Mary", "Buster"... so I guess people name their pit bulls normal names and their kids "Orangello"?



Buster approves.

/although he's a mutt not a full blooded pit bull

Approves

I live in Brooklyn and have a cousin named Brooklyn, so I'm getting a kick & etc.

In fairness, in my family's case, it's a combination of two other relatives named Brooke and Lynn. And I have another cousin named Leia, but that's my family for ya.

"I defy you to come up with a better name than Seven."
"Alright, let's see... How about Mug? Mug Costanza. That's original. Or Ketchup. Pretty name for a girl."
"Alright... You having a good time now?"
"I've got fifty right here in the cupboard... How about Bisquick? Pimento? Gherkin? Sauce? Maxwell House?"
"Alright already!!"

State names seem popular among the "Wal-Mart set" (thanks Fark for that term!) but only certain states get used. Dakota, Arizona. I'm still waiting for someone to name their kid "Illinois" (pronounced "Illinwah," of course).

I suspect the "Brooklyns" are firmly Wal-Mart. It ends in "yn" and sounds vaguely androgynous or last-namey, that is the irresistable combo.

theorellior: Well, I was thinking about naming my first kid "East Fishkill". Does that work?

I'd go with Todt Hill, just to screw with people.

/toads baby

Flatbush would have been an excellent nickname for several past GFs.

I'm naming my daughter Flatbush.

destitute college kid: birdmanesq: I'm sure we at FARK can work together to eradicate this national plague of stupid names.

Proposed rules for naming children (amendments appreciated):

(1) It should be spelled like it sounds, or with a common spelling.
(2) It should not make people say: "Wait, what? Can you repeat that?"
(3) If you can't picture a father/mother, grandmother/grandfather walking around with that name, don't use it.
(4) If children weren't being named that name a hundred years ago, it is not a real name and you should not be using it.

5) It must be acceptable and non-threatening to the white people in the suburbs who are scared of change do the hiring at non-minimum wage jobs.

FTFY

What about "Shaolin"?

downtownkid: I'm naming my daughter Flatbush.

I'm gonna name my kid Bed-Stuy. No one's farking with him.

downtownkid: I'm naming my daughter Flatbush.

Ha!

"Well, we were going to name her "Maddisyn," but it's so COMMON now, y'know? So we went with "Mil'waukye."

Shaddax: I live in Brooklyn and have a cousin named Brooklyn, so I'm getting a kick & etc.

In fairness, in my family's case, it's a combination of two other relatives named Brooke and Lynn. And I have another cousin named Leia, but that's my family for ya.

Good thing you didn't have relatives named "Ashe" and "Hull."

Is it OK to have a weird name in America, if you come from a country where that name is normal? What say you, Fark? My self-image depends on it.

destitute college kid: downtownkid: I'm naming my daughter Flatbush.

I'm gonna name my kid Bed-Stuy. No one's farking with him.

I walked through Bedford-stuy alone.

/too obscure

I lived in a crack/whorehouse when I was 16. the proprietor of the household was impregnated by a guy who's last name was bridges so she named the kid Brook Lynn Bridges. the kid ironically has a face like she was run over by a truck.

/true story

destitute college kid: birdmanesq: I'm sure we at FARK can work together to eradicate this national plague of stupid names.

Proposed rules for naming children (amendments appreciated):

(1) It should be spelled like it sounds, or with a common spelling.
(2) It should not make people say: "Wait, what? Can you repeat that?"
(3) If you can't picture a father/mother, grandmother/grandfather walking around with that name, don't use it.
(4) If children weren't being named that name a hundred years ago, it is not a real name and you should not be using it.

5) It must be acceptable and non-threatening to the white people in the suburbs who are scared of change.

Naming your kid like a proscription drug or car isn't threatening, it's just retarded.

/Name's Bennett; I've only told about 2000 people "Yes, that's my first name" like they think I'm retarded or something
//Still better than Latricha.

So, it's the name Alabama not cool?.

Oh, goody -- does this mean the final death to "caitlyn" and "tyler" and "taylor" and "courtney" and "brittany"??

please???

I hate those faggy names. seriously.

Who will think of the bullies? Their little fists will become tired and their knuckles sore from having to beat all of these stupidly-named children.

hemi cuda: Lynbrook is much prettier. Just sayin'

/LI native

I'm sorry, but Lynbrook sounds like a mental hospital to me.
Though I am a fan of old names, so I could be wrong.

/My kids have old, boring names.
//My oldest has, I think, the most common name in America.
///Named well before I had internet.
//Emily Anne...not my fault...
/Anne with an E... "Anne of Green Gables" FTW

I wonder if she has anything to do with it.

Shaddax: And I have another cousin named Leia, but that's my family for ya.

Was that a combo of "Lee" and "Aya"?