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(ESPN) Stupid Unable to wait for The Ocho, ESPN unveils coverage of its latest sport: computer gaming. Says with a straight face that gamers are "creating a new breed of sports hero for the 21st century"   (sports.espn.go.com) divider line 159
More: Stupid  

159 Comments   (+0 »)


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elvisaintdead [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 09:30:42 AM  
Having just viewed that page, I will now light myself on fire.

 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 10:11:03 AM  
I look at "major league computer gaming" exactly the same way that I look at "competitive eating," which is to say that it's basically a way to line up social rejects and convince them that they're doing something by which they can garner respect, but it's really all just a scam to give the rest of us something to laugh at and mock. It's sort of like when the head cheerleader agrees to take the biggest geek in school out on a date, but at the end of the night she isn't going to realize that he's actually a magical human being who can touch her soul in ways that the callous, shallow jocks and uber-cools she's always dated can't even come close to. No, at the end of the night she's gonna take him to Spiffy McGee's big year-end close out party and she's gonna dump him, hard, in front of everybody. It'll be bad...there'll be a pool dunking and crowd laughing and probably some sort of pants ripping involved. Our poor geek will be scarred for life. And probably grow up to become a major league computer gamer.

 
Chariset [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 10:27:15 AM  
Computer gamers aren't really gamers, huh? And I suppose you'll be telling me next that "Dance Dance Revolution with the Stars" isn't real exercise?

 
Infobahn 2008-01-20 10:27:16 AM  
Entertainment Sports Programming Network

If they can cover Spelling Bees, why not this?

 
phiwings [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 10:35:21 AM  
they cover competitive eating and computer gaming, but not professional lacrosse (an ACTUAL sport)...

 
wjllope 2008-01-20 10:36:04 AM  
Infobahn - it's entertainment and sports programming network.... you know - EAspn.

/see what i did there?

 
wjllope 2008-01-20 10:37:31 AM  
professional lacrosse

i've seen pro lacrosse on one of the espns... college lacrosse too. great sport.

 
dletter [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 10:46:13 AM  
phiwings: they cover competitive eating and computer gaming, but not professional lacrosse (an ACTUAL sport)...

I like indoor lacrosse (which is what I assume you are talking about, considering ESPN does vcarry MLL games).

But, for any programming, any network takes into account what the programmer will bring to the table, what ratings it will bring to the network, etc.

If the NLL was greatly desirable programming in that way, ESPN would attempt to get it, and the NLL would greatly welcome the coverage. Obviously, in their determination, it isn't.

I laugh at people who complain about ESPN not carrying whatever their favorite sport that doesn't get adequate coverage is, as if ESPN deliberately wants it to be unpopular. Trust me, if ESPN thought they could make a buck off it, it would be on their network in a minute.

 
oldebayer [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 11:05:40 AM  
I have nothing against computer gaming, and I play myself, though I am nowhere near any kind of professional level. That being said, I am trying to imagine anything more boring than watching a bunch of geeks manipulate buttons and joysticks -- the is why the NASA channel gets such low ratings. I predict ESPN has picked a real loser here.

 
clancifer [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 11:12:12 AM  
Infobahn: Entertainment Sports Programming Network

If they can cover Spelling Bees poker, why not this?

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 11:28:24 AM  
Pocket Ninja: It's sort of like when the head cheerleader agrees to take the biggest geek in school out on a date, but at the end of the night she isn't going to realize that he's actually a magical human being who can touch her soul in ways that the callous, shallow jocks and uber-cools she's always dated can't even come close to. No, at the end of the night she's gonna take him to Spiffy McGee's big year-end close out party and she's gonna dump him, hard, in front of everybody. It'll be bad...there'll be a pool dunking and crowd laughing and probably some sort of pants ripping involved. Our poor geek will be scarred for life.

Speak from experience much?

And probably grow up to become a major league computer gamer.

Or a TFer.

 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 11:37:23 AM  
King Something: Speak from experience much?

Spiffy McGee is my brother.

 
clancifer [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 11:40:21 AM  
Pocket Ninja: I look at "major league computer gaming" exactly the same way that I look at "competitive eating," which is to say that it's basically a way to line up social rejects and convince them that they're doing something by which they can garner respect, but it's really all just a scam to give the rest of us something to laugh at and mock. It's sort of like when the head cheerleader agrees to take the biggest geek in school out on a date, but at the end of the night she isn't going to realize that he's actually a magical human being who can touch her soul in ways that the callous, shallow jocks and uber-cools she's always dated can't even come close to. No, at the end of the night she's gonna take him to Spiffy McGee's big year-end close out party and she's gonna dump him, hard, in front of everybody. It'll be bad...there'll be a pool dunking and crowd laughing and probably some sort of pants ripping involved. Our poor geek will be scarred for life. And probably grow up to become a major league computer gamer.

I have some Dish Network Gaming HD channel, and you should see the major geeks they have on there. No doubt they would all kick my ass at Halo, but I also picture each one as a future cover story on Internet Tough Guy Magazine.

 
Oldiron_79 2008-01-20 02:10:20 PM  
www.tmn.nu

These atheletes?

 
10 sec rule applies to pudding too 2008-01-20 02:11:13 PM  
I'd rather see this on Cheap seats

 
kbarham 2008-01-20 02:11:36 PM  
Oldiron_79: These atheletes?

Exactly.

Queue the pic of the fat kid eating at McDonald's.

 
IAmRight [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 02:11:56 PM  
Pocket Ninja: I look at "major league computer gaming" exactly the same way that I look at "competitive eating,"

Competitive eating is awesome and at least it causes some stress on the body besides the risk of future carpal tunnel.

Why don't the homeless/hungry just try to start competitive eating? They don't even have to win, just eat what they can comfortably!

 
zipdog 2008-01-20 02:16:07 PM  
Oldiron_79: These atheletes?

BMTI

 
teh-tech 2008-01-20 02:16:35 PM  
It's an interesting strategy... Let's see if it pays off for them.

 
oroku_saki 2008-01-20 02:16:48 PM  
I remember hearing about Magic tournaments being aired on ESPN 2 or 3 or whatever. Although I am a casual player of the game, I really don't see the point in watching other people play it on TV. Same with video gaming being aired as a sport. To me, it just seems a little embarrassing. Then again, we live in a country that televises poker games. What the fark happened to just getting together and playing for the hell of it?

That said, there's a really rabid fanbase in Korea for Starcraft pro leagues. I found a few videos on Youtube, and these guys are insane. I doubt something like that would catch on in the states though.

I say we hold televised PONG tournaments! Who's with me?

 
bud jones [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 02:16:55 PM  
gee, i wonder how the potential advertisers budgets compare, lacrosse equipment manufacturers and game publishers. golly, which one will be on tv?

 
bmwericus 2008-01-20 02:17:09 PM  
With names like StrongSide, Tsquared and Karma, how can they go wrong? Wow, we are now going to take non-participation anothe degree away.

Kids play football

Kids play video football

Kids play color, full contact video football

Kid gets paid to play video football

People watch kids play video football?

Nope, not on my TV

"next, on ESPN 47: Full Contact napping with live commentary"

"Starting next week; Extreme backpacking, the video game competition"

This aught to be the final knife in the back of televised Chess Matches....

I'd love to meet the 23 year old ESPN Executive who thought up this brilliant idea.

 
TheGreatZarquon 2008-01-20 02:19:13 PM  
facepalm.jpg, seriously.

I'm a fairly serious gamer, and I'd never watch live coverage of World of Warcraft arena fights, or endless Halo 3 matches. It's fun to play, but goddamn BORING to watch. It will continue to be boring to watch people play video games until video games start having actual consequences, such as a grenade making your controller explode in your hands or something.

/can has real-life UT3 now?

 
mloree 2008-01-20 02:20:46 PM  
all of a sudden, televised poker games don't seem so bad.

 
hudef 2008-01-20 02:20:58 PM  
"creating a new breed of sports hero moran for the 21st century"

FTFY

www.the700level.com

 
b3x 2008-01-20 02:21:34 PM  
I don't see any coverage of the Eastern Quake League, no clan kapitol, no 519, no knightmare, not even those pre-pubescent whiners from ichor vile. how do they expect us to take this seriously?

i want bloopers of styles/wheat falling into the void with battle suit.

 
ankmcfly 2008-01-20 02:22:49 PM  
Just finished playing Allied Assault. Send me my cheerleaders...

 
FishingWithFredo 2008-01-20 02:24:09 PM  
ESPN now is to sports what M-TV, now, is to music.

 
Meat's dream 2008-01-20 02:24:10 PM  
Stupid tag? Gamer-hating from someone who pays $5 a month to make snarky comments nobody remembers 10 minutes later? If only there was a tag for that...

 
TehAssMan 2008-01-20 02:25:23 PM  
pulled a damn Hami playing my Level 70 warlock...

hitting the showers...

waiting for my biatches to shows up!

 
Swede 2008-01-20 02:26:10 PM  
Look at the competitive fire in the eyes of this new 21st Century Athlete.

i149.photobucket.com

 
Burn14Me 2008-01-20 02:26:13 PM  
http://www.caleague.com/

even you to, nazi computer game hater may apply and progress threw the ranks, to be leet 1337.

 
bmwericus 2008-01-20 02:26:37 PM  
Meat's dream: Stupid tag? Gamer-hating from someone who pays $5 a month to make snarky comments nobody remembers 10 minutes later? If only there was a tag for that...

I believe it's the HERO tag.

Gaming is to real life as jerking off is to sexual intercourse.

 
frozencopper 2008-01-20 02:28:16 PM  
They'll show a bunch of greasy losers playing Halo, but they wont show the NHL...the world is a sad,sad, place.

 
Smarshmallow 2008-01-20 02:28:19 PM  
Hey, it's no sillier than golf.

 
jjorsett 2008-01-20 02:29:39 PM  
i28.tinypic.com

 
KoolerThanJesus 2008-01-20 02:32:00 PM  
Lets face it, ESPN is 0wn3d by ABC, which is just a Mickey Mouse company anyway.

4 years ago, Rugby World cup = No coverage, but I was able to watch the double dutch jump rope competition.

 
hudef 2008-01-20 02:32:18 PM  
faculty.mdc.edu

 
onomatopoetic 2008-01-20 02:34:10 PM  
phukitol: the difference between computer gamers and jocks is that not all computer gamers are closeted homosexuals.

Apparently you've never played an online FPS. Latent homosexuality abounds.

 
Burn14Me 2008-01-20 02:34:24 PM  
bmwericus: Gaming is to real life as jerking off is to sexual intercourse.

True, but a helva lot more people jerk off than watch hockey, so whats your point?

 
Virulency 2008-01-20 02:34:58 PM  
im still waiting for the OCHO

 
mikaloyd 2008-01-20 02:38:23 PM  
face meet palm

 
ThunderPelvis 2008-01-20 02:39:14 PM  
Pocket Ninja: Our poor geek will be scarred for life. And probably grow up to become a major league computer gamer an incredibly wealthy and successful technology entrepreneur.

FTFY.

Puh-lease. Seriously, these old nerd stereotypes are so lame. The hot cheerleader from high school is now a dull, fat, incredibly bored housewife, the big stud jock is now an equally fat insurance salesman in Hoboken...the only interesting people you went to high school with were probably the nerds, and chances are better than good that they ain't in Mommy's basement playing recycled versions of Quake. Getting publicly dumped and humiliated by some bleach-headed skank? Now THAT'S a motivational force to be reckoned with....

 
reillan 2008-01-20 02:40:58 PM  
I'm already a washed up high school video game sports athlete.

/Quake 2. Was a god at the game, for all the good that does me now.

 
ArtosRC 2008-01-20 02:42:09 PM  
I saw some of the MLG shows on CBS this past summer. Pretty cool presentation.

That said, this belongs on G4 or something like that. ESPN is for sports, goddammit.

Oh, and the jackass who thought that broadcasting poker in lieu of soccer or something else would be great deserves to be kicked in the 'boys until blood comes from his mouth.

 
mikaloyd 2008-01-20 02:45:44 PM  
img87.imageshack.us

 
oranjello 2008-01-20 02:45:51 PM  
Quake olympics, here I come.

Wait'll I tell my wife--she's be so proud.

 
sonder [TotalFark] 2008-01-20 02:45:55 PM  
Gamers are the new jocks.

Deal with it, sports geeks.

 
Gimli_Gloin 2008-01-20 02:46:36 PM  
Before you jazz them too far, professional computer gaming is the #1 sport in South Korea. (Along with other geek intelligence games.)

Those guys are like rock stars with groupies, endorsements and other major league contracts.

They are like gods. So much so their sperm is in high demand for artificial insemination.

Laugh all you want but they probably make more money and score more cooch than you do.

 
mikaloyd 2008-01-20 02:47:35 PM  
sonder: Gamers are the new jocks.

Deal with it, sports geeks.


Didnt I stuff you in your locker? Why are you out?

 
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