How appropriate that there's a chronic constipation ad on the right of the screen as I type this.

Finally, relief can be yours, little wieners.

Jesus hates weiner poopie anyway. He was totally a part of this scheme.

My guess is that he'll return in 3 days

I'm not sure exactly why, but I don't think I want to watch this vid …

I've gotten gun-shy about the Video tag.

I see it and assume it's for FarkTV, and run the other way.

rjkline My guess is that he'll return in 3 days

OK...now that's funny.

Holy shiat.

Is there even words to describe how farking funny this is?

One question for the reporter covering that story....who's wife did you bang to get stuck with that ridiculous story??? And how many takes did you need to get through that letter without laughing

"No adult's going to waste their time doing that."

I beg to differ. I'm pushing 40, and if I were so inclined to do something like this, you bet your sweet ass I'd get a a major kick out of that little embellishment.

/I have an alibi

sadly Fantastically, this was a top story on my local news...

News was too funny that day.

Snoogit: sadly Fantastically, this was a top story on my local news...

News was too funny that day.

oops heres the local article:

http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=86444

"I'll get you, my pretty, and your jesus statue too!"

/had to make some comment...all I can come up with.

lostcat: I've gotten gun-shy about the Video tag.

I see it and assume it's for FarkTV, and run the other way.

Sorry bout the tag. I wasn't expecting it to be edited and have the (video) added or I would've used another tag. But, hey, I'll take it.

Unbelievable...

Snoogit: Snoogit:
oops heres the local article:

http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=86444

Those comments are great.

FTFA: Jesus statue held hostage over dog droppings

The headline had so much more promise than the reality.

/poop from Jebus' weener?
//it's a miracle

Oh golly-gee, I just can't wait till they find Jesus, eh?

I just love how serious the reporter is taking this story.

It sounds like it's the most hard-hitting piece of journalism to hit the web. That man deserves a Pulitzer or something.

And yes, I agree that it must have taken a lot to not laugh over the letter. Another reason the reporter deserves something.

Of course, when I first read the headline, I thought it was going to be a story about someone threatening Jesus by holding him over some dog poop. "Better meet my demands, or your messiah's gonna get a Cleveland Steamer!"

What the hell is a "weiner"? That's not even an actual German word, if I'm not mistaken.

It was a big day on Jesus Ranch, Jesus Ranch.

He was harvesting a big tomato, it was in the sand, alright.
I'm taking a walk in the woods, and it's nice outside.
Smells of shiat, Liga Guinggligagiggagoogwayogo.

I come upon a silver, striped mushroom and I fa la la la ly la ly.
And I fly, fly.

It was a big day on Jesus Ranch, Jesus Ranch.
Jesus.
I fell in love with a baked potato.
That's when I started the dance, yeah, in France.

I'm takin a walk in the woods, fark yeah!
It's nice, very very nice.
Smells of shiat, Liga fluinggligagiggagoogoogwayogo.

I come upon a silver, striped mushroom, and I fa la la la ly la ly.
And I fly, fly.
fa la la la ly la ly,
and i fly,
I'm gone.

a fligga gu,
rigga gu hu,
rigga gigga gee gu,
ruu ga guuu,
rigga gigga gu hu,

YEAH!

Dire: What the hell is a "weiner"? That's not even an actual German word, if I'm not mistaken.

Wiener is actually German for Viennese (i.e. from Vienna, Austria).
For example, Wiener Schnitzel is Schnitzel (cutlet - typically veal) of the style served in Vienna (coated in bread crumbs and fried)
In German, a 'w' has the English 'v' sound, while 'v' has an 'f' sound.

Wiener Würstchen are little Viennese sausages, and Germans usually call hot dogs Wieners (although Austrians call them Frankfurters, after the city of Frankfurt). Dachshunds (lit. Badger dogs) are really only called Wieners in the U.S., but the name is because of their sausage shape.

//Not native German, but I probably know more than I should.

This had to be written by a kid. No adult could be this immature when it comes to a ransom note over a cherished object.

Holy sh*t?