A teeny bit creative and inaccurate with the headline there melovenannyheadlinemitter.

it's been replaced by a pap smear?

that must be uncomfortable.

especially when there's bacon.

xtex 2008-01-19 11:46:30 PM
it's been replaced by a pap smear?

that must be uncomfortable.

especially when there's bacon.

That's what I was thinking too.

I want a proper fry up & I want it now!

English people make baby Jose cry.

What sinister bastards. They want people to be healthy. The nerve they have!

The only English Breakfast I know of is a variety of tea.

I wanted to comment but then I realised that you are all idiots.

fark you all.

Waaaant...

I've been to England, and while I loved it there the breakfasts left *much* to be desired. What you call "bacon" is what we call "Canadian Bacon" over here in the States, and while it's fine to eat it most definitely is NOT the fatty goodness that pork belly bacon is.

Seriously, I'd love to live/work across the pond for a while, but I'd never be able to go anywhere to eat a decent breakfast.

Ah, replacing the simple breakfast foods with edible food-like substances.

Best full breakfast I had was in a greasy spoon in Sheffield. Even the egg was deep-fried (seriously, I could see into the kitchen, and they would crack the egg into a saucepan half-full of fat.

When I finished that cholesterol-inducing monster of a break fast, my plate was swimming in a good, healthy half centimetre of fat.

Perfect.

Does anyone know a good german joke?

Bathia_Mapes: Waaaant...

We visited last March and I fell in love with the breakfast. Can't wait to go back.

TheFatManCometh

elochai: Does anyone know a good german joke?
You know who also enjoyed a good German joke...


Jim Belushi?

frostus: Bathia_Mapes: Waaaant...

We visited last March and I fell in love with the breakfast. Can't wait to go back.

I haven't experienced it in the U.K., but maybe some day. However, a British friend of mine cooked me a fry up, but she said it wasn't as good since she couldn't find products that tasted the same. Still, it tasted pretty good to me. I still want to try it in the U.K.

There is a very authentic (or so I'm told) English-style restaurant by my sister's house. We had brunch there one day while I was visiting her. Let's just say that bangers are disgusting and nothing like delicious sausage.

Screw English food.

doglover: TheFatManCometh

elochai: Does anyone know a good german joke?
You know who also enjoyed a good German joke...


Jim Belushi?

Or so the Germans would have you believe

elochai

Does anyone know a good german joke?

Colonel: That's the kind of attitude that helped us lick the Germans!

Major: Lick a German? I wouldn't lick a German if he were dipped in honey!

/or something like that
//Black Adder

Looks good to me. The big, traditional powerhorse breakfast of bacon/eggs/sausage/pancakes/etc is just too much early in the morning, and, frankly, it's boring. I mean, come on, mix it up a little.

elochai: Does anyone know a good german joke?

Venn ist das nurnstuck git und slotermeyer? Ya! Beigerhund das oder die flipperwaldt gersput!

/Obligatory

Thats not pap it's Nanny-cack.

Britannia is lost. Goodbye old gal.

Pap

Healthy food is Nanny State Liberal Fascism

</hurr>

One of the breakfast recipes on the linked site is "West Country Cheddar & Onion Waffles with Lincolnshire Sausages". If that's "nancified health pap" then pass the nancified health pap and don't spare the brown sauce!

mikaloyd:
Britannia is lost. Goodbye old gal.

Yeah, all is lost when someone tries to encourage people to eat a good breakfast.
Dramaqueen.

elochai: Does anyone know a good german joke?

Warum heißt Canada, 'Canada'? Weil es gibt keine da!

Oh sorry, you wanted a good german joke.

Er...can anyone tell me why this has gone Green? We mock Rick Romero for pointing out obvious shiat, and yet this gets approved? You guys know there is a war going on, right? No, not that war, I'm talking the Clinton/Obama throwdown.

Am I alone in lamenting the fact that a lot of the hotels in the UK that used to serve a proper fry-up have started to switch to buffet breakfasts?

The nerve, I tell ya. And where's the pudding? Black and white, please.

And, no, I don't want any meusli, thanks.

eqtworld: The U.K. is the fattest nation in the EU. Maybe they should be cutting back a bit.

Well the statistic is skewed when you realise the UK includes Scotland where they eat deep fried mars bars :)

Lenin: Er...can anyone tell me why this has gone Green? We mock Rick Romero for pointing out obvious shiat, and yet this gets approved? You guys know there is a war going on, right? No, not that war, I'm talking the Clinton/Obama throwdown.

From Fark FAQ:
What is Fark exactly? Fark is what fills space when mass media runs out of news. Fark is supposed to look like news... but it's not news. It's Fark.

/Seems appropriate.

Nothing like waking up and ingesting enough fat for the next week. You know those puffy-skinned, red-faced Brits you see? They're that way because they get drunk every day and eat crap. It's not something one should attain to anymore than wanting to look like half the population of Houston or Kansas City. I'm far from a health nut, but it doesn't take a vegan nutritionist to recognize what sort of crud is bad for you.

I just want to point out that I have lived in the US for 36 years, and I've never once seen a "full English breakfast" offered on any breakfast menu, in any restaurant, anywhere, ever.

This tells me that the world doesn't "love" the "full English breakfast." If the world loved it, you could pay money to get it here, where anything you want is available for a price.

I've also travelled in England, Ireland, and Jersey. I've had the English breakfast. It's no great shakes compared to biscuits and gravy. It's quaint and historically interesting, but I'm not jumping on a plane anytime soon to satisfy my craving for grilled tomatoes and extra tangy beans...And whatever that black pudding is (that alone has never reared its head in any restaurant or market I've visited in the states).

So...I'm going back to bed (it's 3:00am), and when I wake up I'm going to have a bran muffin and some tangerines.

lostcat: I just want to point out that I have lived in the US for 36 years, and I've never once seen a "full English breakfast" offered on any breakfast menu, in any restaurant, anywhere, ever.

This tells me that the world doesn't "love" the "full English breakfast." If the world loved it, you could pay money to get it here, where anything you want is available for a price...

Indeed! Those limeys never had a real American southern breakfast.

swahnhennessy:it doesn't take a vegan nutritionist to recognize what sort of crud is bad for you.

Eh? Why on earth would you think that a vegan nutritionist would be a bastion of rational and science?

One of the things I miss most about the UK is the bacon. Actually, make that two things, bacon and sausages. Here in France you can get poncified chipolatas and lardon (tiny pieces of bacon). I have had breakfasts all over the world, and I have to say, my favourite was in Bangkok, where you could eat cabbage noodle soup. I was also talked into trying eggs, bacon, fruit, pancakes and maple syrup all-on-the-same-plate once in Chicago. I adore american food, just not all together. I embrace cultural differences and don't feel the need to snark, yeah, I know it's Fark. People should take the poles out their asses and be more willing to accept AND celebrate the differences between us.

Good old fry ups are nectar, but like everything, should be consumed in moderation.

*climbs down from soap box and goes to make a lardon butty*

Omni's Evil Breakfast:

Hashbrowns: Peel potato (potatoe!) and shred. Fry in butter with red bell peppers, chopped garlic, salt, pepper and paprika.
Two eggs over easy. Whites cooked as much as possible without sacrificing yolk runniness.
Two pieces sourdough toast.
BACON!

Chop eggs into hashbrowns. Don't mix too much. Spoon onto toast. Enjoy.

Eat bacon separatly.
Bacon does not fraternize with egg.
Bacon is too proud.
Bacon stands alone.

eqtworld: The U.K. is the fattest nation in the EU. Maybe they should be cutting back a bit.

The U.S is the fattest nation in the world. Maybe you should shut up.

Omnis_evil_twin: Omni's Evil Breakfast:

May I subscribe to your newsletter?

autopsybeverage: There is a very authentic (or so I'm told) English-style restaurant by my sister's house. We had brunch there one day while I was visiting her. Let's just say that bangers are disgusting and nothing like delicious sausage.

Screw English food.

Ewwww foreign food taste funny. Me not understand.

I remember eating the English Breakfast at the International Students House in London before going to my internship every morning this last summer. Good lord, the toast even tasted like it was deep fried. I ended up switching to toast and blackcurrant jam and a pastry with tea to keep my arteries from hardening.

/Misses blackcurrant jam.
//and Crunchie Bars
///and Spitfire Ale
////and Ploughman's sarnies
//and Radio 4
//I really need to see if I can emigrate to the UK.

Oh, speaking of Breakfast in England, I felt that posting this is appropo:

Setting: A cafe. All the customers are Vikings. Mr. and Mrs. bun enter -
downwards (on wires).

Mr. Bun (Eric Idle): Morning.

Waitress (Terry Jones): Morning.

Mr. Bun: What have you got, then?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage, and bacon; egg and SPAM; egg, bacon, and SPAM; egg, bacon, sausage and SPAM; SPAM, bacon, sausage, and SPAM; SPAM, egg, SPAM, SPAM, bacon, and SPAM; SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, egg, and SPAM; SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, baked beans, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, and SPAM; or lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate, brandy, and a fried egg on top and SPAM.

Mrs. Bun (Graham Chapman): Have you got anything without SPAM in it?

Waitress: Well, there's SPAM, egg, sausage, and SPAM. That's not got MUCH spam in it.

Mrs. Bun: I don't want _any_ SPAM.

Mr. Bun: Why can't she have egg, bacon, SPAM, and sausage?

Mrs. Bun: That's got SPAM in it!

Mr. Bun: Not as much as SPAM, egg, sausage, and SPAM.

Mrs. Bun: Look, could I have egg, bacon, SPAM, and sausage without the SPAM?

Waitress: Uuuuuuuuugggggh!

Mrs. Bun: What d'you mean uuugggh!? I don't like SPAM.

Vikings: (singing) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM..SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM... Lovely SPAM,wonderful SPAM.... (Brief shot of Viking ship)

Waitress: Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! You can't have egg, bacon, SPAM, and sausage without the SPAM.

Mrs. Bun: Why not!

Waitress: No, it wouldn't be egg, bacon, SPAM, and sausage, would it?

Mrs. Bun: I don't like SPAM!

Mr. Bun: Don't make a fuss, dear. I'll have your SPAM. I love it. I'm having SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM...

Vikings: (singing) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM...

Mr. Bun: ...baked beans, SPAM, SPAM, and SPAM.

Waitress: Baked beans are off.

Mr. Bun: Well, can I have SPAM instead?

Waitress: You mean SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM?

Vikings: (still singing) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM.... (etc.)

Mr. Bun: Yes.

Waitress: Arrggh!

Vikings: ...lovely SPAM, wonderful SPAM...

Waitress: Shut up! Shut up! (The Vikings shut up momentarily. Enter the Hungarian [from an earlier sketch])

Hungarian: Great boobies honeybunch, my lower intestine is full of SPAM, egg, SPAM, bacon, SPAM, tomato, SPAM...

Vikings: (starting up again) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM...

Waitress: Shut up. (a policeman rushes in and bundles the Hungarian out)

Hungarian: My nipples explode... (Cut to a historian)

Historian (Michael Palin): Another great Viking victory was at the Green Midget cafe at Bromley. Once again the Viking strategy was the same. They sailed from these fjords here (indicating a map with arrows on it), assembled at Trondheim, and waited for the strong north-easterly winds to blow their oaken galleys to England whence they sailed on May 23rd. Once in Bromley they assembled in the Green Midget cafe and SPAM selecting a SPAM particular SPAM item from the SPAM menu would SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM... (the backdrop rises, revealing the cafe again. The Vikings start singing again and the Historian conducts them.)

JonathanChance: I remember eating the English Breakfast at the International Students House in London before going to my internship every morning this last summer. Good lord, the toast even tasted like it was deep fried. I ended up switching to toast and blackcurrant jam and a pastry with tea to keep my arteries from hardening.

/Misses blackcurrant jam.
//and Crunchie Bars
///and Spitfire Ale
////and Ploughman's sarnies
//and Radio 4
//I really need to see if I can emigrate to the UK.

Yum. Pretty much summed up the best things about living in the UK!

phukitol: ah yes, english food.

I find that picture strangly arousing.
But also disturbing.
Which makes it all the more arousing.

/I'll be in my bunk.

phukitol:

Q: how do you know you're a dork?

A: when you post monty python skits on the internet.

Oh, you're no fun anymore.

I am under the impression that the submitter did not read the article. By "healthy breakfast," they mean that it is important to eat breakfast! I see no criticism of a proper fry-up.
/Mmm, bacon...

Full English breakfast is farking nasty. Who the hell eats baked beans at all, let alone for breakfast? Baked beans are for prisoners and people over 80.

RubberFootMan
Ewwww foreign food taste funny. Me not understand.

Yes, I'm an uncultured dimwit for not liking everything I shove in my face. I'm not completely sure that bangers are supposed to be this way, but they had a texture like sausage mixed with a heavy handful of bone meal or sand to stretch out how much intestine the meat could fill. If my palate is unrefined because I find sand-sausage to be disgusting, then so be it.

Gish21: Full English breakfast is farking nasty. Who the hell eats baked beans at all, let alone for breakfast? Baked beans are for prisoners and people over 80.

What about the good down home cookin' baked beans for family BBQs? With brown sugar and spices, baked an hour under tinfoil and topped with strips of BBQ bacon?


Mmmmmmm...
/Homesick.