Good headline.

It is expected that once the ban has taken full effect smoking will be only be permitted only in certain special areas....and mental hospitals.

I guess it's okay to let the crazy people smoke themselves to death.

That's cold, subby

I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day, ok. And I am never f'ing quitting! I don't care how many laws they make. What's the law now? You can only smoke in your apartment, under a blanket, with all the lights out? Is that the rule now, huh?! The cops are outside, "We know you have the cigarettes. Come out of the house with the cigarettes above your head." "You'll never get me copper! I'm never coming out, you hear? I got a cigarette machine right here in my bedroom. Yeah!"

We tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We f'ing tried. Okay? You wanted your own sections in the restaurants. We gave you that, huh. But that wasn't enough for you. Then you wanted the airplanes. We gave you the whole damn plane! You happy now? You own the f'ing plane! I'd like an explanation about that one folks because I will guarantee you if the plane is going down, the first announcement you're gonna hear is, "Folks, this is your Captain speaking. Look, uhm, light 'em up, 'cause we're going down, okay. I got a carton of Camels non-filters, I'll see you on the ground. Take it easy.

Yeah, we tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We tried. But you just f'ing badger us, you know? You won't leave us alone! You got all your little speeches you're always giving to us. All these little facts that you dig out of a newspaper or pamphlet and you store that little nugget in your little f'ing head, and we light up and you spew 'em out at us, don't ya? I love these little facts. "Well you know. Smoking takes ten years off your life." Well it's the ten worst years, isn't it folks? It's the ones at the end! It's the wheelchair kidney dialysis f'ing years. You can have those years! We don't want 'em, alright!?

Because you're always telling us, "You know, every cigarette takes six minutes off your life. If you quit now you can live an extra ten years. If you quit now, you can live an extra twenty years." Hey, I got two words for you, ok. Jim Fix. Remember Jim Fix? The big famous jogging guy? Jogged fifteen miles a day. Did a jogging book. Did a jogging video. Dropped out of a heart attack when? When he was f'ing jogging, that's when! What do you wanna bet it was two smokers who found the body the next morning and went, "Hey! That's Jim Fix, isn't it?" "Wow, what a f'ing tragedy. Come on, lets go buy some butts."

It's always the yogurt sprout eating mother f'ers who get run over buy a bus driven by a guy who smokes three and a half packs a day. "Sorry officer, I didn't see him. I was too busy smoking!"

I love to smoke. I love to smoke and I love to eat red meat. I love to eat raw f'ing red meat. Nothing I like better than sucking down a hot steaming cheese burger and a butt at the same time. I love to smoke. I love to eat red meat. I'll only eat red meat that comes from cows who smoke, ok!? Special cows they grow in Virginia with voice boxes in their necks. "Moo"

I tried eating vegetarian. I feel like a wimp going into a restaurant. "What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, ok? When they ask me what I want, I say, "What do you think I want!? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now. Forget about that. Bring me a live cow over to the table. I'll carve off what I want and ride the rest home!"

I'm gonna open up my own place. Open my own restaurant and get away from you people. I gonna open up a restaurant with two smoking sections; Ultra and Regular, ok? And we're not gonna have any tables or any chairs or any napkins. None of that pussy shiat. Just a big wide open black space. And all we're gonna serve is raw meat, right on the bone! And only men are going to eat there, naked men, sitting around a big giant camp fire, and no men's room either. You have to piss, you mark your territory like a wolf! And if some guy has a heart attack from eating too much meat, fark him, we throw him in the fire! More meat for the other meat-eaters! Yeah!

kidsizedcoffin: We tried to be nice to you non-smokers.

No, you didn't. If you had done this, you would have had the common courtesy to step outside before lighting up.

AntiNorm: No, you didn't. If you had done this, you would have had the common courtesy to step outside before lighting up.

Fail.

Well, it's been 38 days now (Chantix...it's a helluva drug which will give you nausea, constipation, really weird dreams, and I think also a nasty rash, but it works at least for me.) The tide against smoking is just increasing everywhere at least in the US, so it was time. Yeah, it sucks for the first few weeks, but eventually the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I don't have cancer or other smoking related stuff in my genetic history, but hopefully that'll all go away after awhile.

I can now instantly tell if someone has recently had a cig or is a smoker in general. Food tastes better, I smell better (in a couple of ways...well, actually worse in one way; did I mention the chronic gas the Chantix causes? No? Well it does, but you can smell your own farts exquisitely once you quit) and generally feel better. Well, once I get over these side effects. Which I will because I'm gonna stop this Chantix shiat pretty soon since I know that after two months you're way over the nicotine withdrawals.

I'm sick of being nicotine's biatch.

AntiNorm: kidsizedcoffin: We tried to be nice to you non-smokers.

No, you didn't. If you had done this, you would have had the common courtesy to step outside before lighting up.

Um... It's a Denis Leary stand-up bit.

I LOL'ed. And then I coughed.

kidsizedcoffin: You can only smoke in your apartment

Actually, the law is probably that you CAN'T smoke in your apartment. You know, because somehow, apartments are interconnected enough for a neighbor to get lung cancer and die if you smoke in your place with the windows open.

Ron Paul Revere: And that, right there, is proof positive Dennis Leary stole material from Bill Hicks. Bill also had a better take and delivery. [re: Jim Fixx]

Right. And Bill Hicks died of what? Lung cancer.

Man's dead, give it a rest. Everyone steals material from everyone else.

puffy999: You know, because somehow, apartments are interconnected enough for a neighbor to get lung cancer and die if you smoke in your place with the windows open.

Sorry, you don't have the right to fill up my living space with a disgusting smoke smell, same as I don't have the right to fill your living space with loud music.

I am anti-smoking in a very lukewarm way, but you know what? We're all gonna die eventually anyway, regardless. If you want to smoke and die sooner, fine, whatever. Smoke tobacco, smoke pot, smoke crack.

However, smoking in Turkey might kill you much much sooner if the government decides you can be beheaded for smoking, so I would advise caution in that area. Otherwise, go thy way in peace.

I tried quitting on New Years' but liberals are forcing me to keep smoking.

Weaps: I'm sick of being nicotine's biatch.

You have just been programmed to think like that, most of the chemical additives in tobacco are probably more addictive than the nicotine. It's the New World Order, big pharma will not rest until every last citizen on this planet is popping their pills. No matter what the pill effects include submissiveness to authority.

Ask yourself one question, do you trust a plant that evolved all by itself on this wonderful planet alongside us human beings - be it marijuana, tobacco, opium, coca...or do you trust a concoction manufactured in a lab?

Drop your pills, find some organic tobacco and get back to reality, you are fading into the zombie horde...

sparkmysmeg: Weaps: I'm sick of being nicotine's biatch.

Drop your pills, find some organic tobacco and get back to reality, you are fading into the zombie horde...

No I'm not. I run out of the pills in about 27 days. I'm not refilling it. By then I know that I'll be free of nicotine [andotheradditivesincigarettesyoudon'tneedtotellme] without the assistance.

I trusted this concoction enough for it to help me, now I'll discard it like the smokes I no longer need. I'm done with tobacco, and soon I'll be done with the manufactured [and there isn't anything wrong with that, hippie] drug.

I'm not done with plants.

havent smoked in 6 years and everytime i smell 2nd hand it makes me want one. ....just one wouldnt hurt

AntiNorm: No, you didn't. If you had done this, you would have had the common courtesy to step outside before lighting up.

I will never understand this mentality -- supporting the government swooping in and regulating legal activity on private premises because it bugs your ever-so-sensitive noses. If you don't like it, boycott the establishments that allow smoking, or try to convince them to change the rules.

First off, tight headline. Good stuff right there.

Still on the lung darts, meself.

Gonna quit, just waiting fer the FDA to put their seal of approval on them new SOMA pills.

Till then it's "Smoke 'em if ya got 'em, Johnny boy"

Will smoke pot 4ever.

Living in BC it would be a shame not to, quite frankly.

More on Topic?

So now wot? There are gonna "re-imagine" Midnight Express, only instead of smuggling hash outta Turkey the protaganist will be trying to sneak a carton of Kamels in?

/Tried smoking a salmon once but it wouldn't stay lit.

Great headline! i lol'd

havent smoked in 6 years and everytime i smell 2nd hand it makes me want one. ....just one wouldnt hurt


wtf. how can anyone smoke a f*cking cigarette. how can anyone think that sh*t smells good. you're a f*cking brain-damaged slave paying for your own death. and don't tell me "it's a nicotine addiction, i have no control over it"... my dad was a smoker for 30 years. you know how he quit? one day he said "i am now a non-smoker" and he hasn't smoked in the last 3-4 years and hasn't missed it.

and kidsizedcoffin is Mr. FAIL for not putting that tired-ass diatribe in quotes and giving credit to who spooged it out of his mouth.

and kidsizedcoffin is Mr. FAIL for not putting that tired-ass diatribe in quotes and giving credit to who spooged it out of his mouth.

And if I had attributed it to him, would it have been as fun?

I guess they would eventually quit smoking after being bombed by the PKK. It just takes a little time to cool the body down.

Raspil: havent smoked in 6 years and everytime i smell 2nd hand it makes me want one. ....just one wouldnt hurt


wtf. how can anyone smoke a f*cking cigarette. how can anyone think that sh*t smells good. you're a f*cking brain-damaged slave paying for your own death. and don't tell me "it's a nicotine addiction, i have no control over it"... my dad was a smoker for 30 years. you know how he quit? one day he said "i am now a non-smoker" and he hasn't smoked in the last 3-4 years and hasn't missed it.


maybe you should ask your dad why he did for 30 years. he must have liked something about it enough to do it for 30 years.

Mmmm smoked turkey.

smoking is delicious. always has been, always will be. Quit for good about a year and a half ago but the smell will always be tempting.

I don't mind the restaurant ban, I hate the Marlboro chain smokers who blow smoke in my direction while I eat. Be courteous dude, it's not hard to try and avoid other's faces.

I hate the bar ban. Is that alcohol you're drinking? Last time I checked no one was murdered because someone smoked a cigarette and drove. Get over yourself and let me enjoy my beer with a cancer sidecar. Obviously you're not health conscious or you'd be at a juice bar or coffee shop.

Gyrfalcon: However, smoking in Turkey might kill you much much sooner if the government decides you can be beheaded for smoking, so I would advise caution in that area. Otherwise, go thy way in peace.

Turkey just did away with the death penalty.

Son of God: Gyrfalcon: However, smoking in Turkey might kill you much much sooner if the government decides you can be beheaded for smoking, so I would advise caution in that area. Otherwise, go thy way in peace.

You don't know anything about Turkey, do you?

This. He knows exactly one thing about Turkey, and it's wrong.