Chuck Norris doesn't need to speak. His thoughts just punch through to your brain.

Amending the Constitution to more closely conform to the ideals of the Living God(tm) requires consent of two-thirds of both houses of Congress, as well as ratification by three-quarters of the State Legislatures.

Or, one indian burn from Chuck Norris to the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

Has the phrase 'jumped the shark' jumped the shark?

/Yes.

He should really be showing up to the Huckabee rallies in his karate gi.

fishsticks: Has the phrase 'jumped the shark' jumped the shark?

/Yes.

As has the act of pointing out that the phrase 'jumped the shark' has jumped the shark.

But it really was funny once upon a time.

Chuck Norris' ideals in democracy are so great that a single vote from him counts as 50,000,000 mortal votes

This whole "joined at the hip" act got old a while ago.

Chuck Norris and Mike Chuckleheaded-bee, possibly brothers, possibly lovers, possibly both.

Let's get one thing straight at long last...

Chuck Norris is weaker than a cup of Scottish tea.

S'rsly, Chuck is really a puss-tart who likes watching Steel Magnolias and then crying himself to sleep at least twice a week.

/read that on the intrawebs somewhere
//I'm Quatchi and I approved this message

GOP candidates and their martial arts match:

Huckabee - Chuck Norris (fundie)
Giuliani - Steven Segal (colossal prick)
Romney - Chow Yon Fat (fake but handsome)
McCain - David Carradine (old, so very old)
Paul - Jackie Chan (incoherent)
Thompson - misc. enemy ninja 3 (no one cares about either of them)

Norris is a symbol, not a celebrity. Young people like to laugh at what he represents, but when it comes to who he is and what he has to say, they're about as interested as they'd be in Seagal or Van Damme.

Or "Snakes on a Plane." The Establishment still isn't very good at distinguishing ironic affection from genuine affection.

Huckabee has really quickly gone from a funny presidential candidate to just a joke.

His whole compaign is a gimmick now.

milk_plus: GOP candidates and their martial arts match:

Ronald Reagan: Bruce Lee (dead)

/too soon?

Uzzah: Norris is a symbol, not a celebrity. Young people like to laugh at what he represents, but when it comes to who he is and what he has to say, they're about as interested as they'd be in Seagal or Van Damme.

Or "Snakes on a Plane." The Establishment still isn't very good at distinguishing ironic affection from genuine affection.

Huzzah!

Also, the whole Chuck Norris stuff is way past its expiraiton date. All it was was a ripoff of the old Bill Brasky SNL skits.

Anyone know the source of the Chuck Norris meme? Some idiot with too much time on their hands singlehandedly resurrected Chuck's career.

moops Quote 2008-01-18 04:36:04 PM
Anyone know the source of the Chuck Norris meme?

Conan O'Brian.

When NBC took over some studio they got all the back tapes of walker texas ranger they could play for free and Conan started showing clips ironically on his show all the time.

The Chuck Norris jokes were played out almost as soon as they started.

/prefers Bill Brasky
//Bruce Lee beat Chuck Norris

Is there a candidate on the GOP side that ISN'T considered a 'joke' now?

HotWingConspiracy: He should really be showing up to the Huckabee rallies in his karate gi.

What? Chuck Norris in the garb of some foreign culture?

The appropriate attire for Chuck is full, ceremonial "Walker, Texas Ranger" regalia, which includes these:

inFARKshun: The Chuck Norris jokes were played out almost as soon as they started.

/prefers Bill Brasky
//Bruce Lee beat Chuck Norris

Bruce Lee could still kick the shiat out of Norris.

FTA: Thanks to Norris, they're tuning in. But he's hardly enough to seal the deal.

Unless, of course, he starts roundhouse-kicking everything in sight. In that case, all bets are off.

QFT

holy Fark, it's like Barrens chat in here.

oihorse: holy Fark, it's like Barrens chat in here.

Chuck Norris doesn't campaign for presidential candidates. Candidates run for president so they can campaign with Chuck Norris.

/apparently

Oh, man, Barren's chat. Another reason I loathe the Chuck Norris jokes.

/the girl in the pic is kinda cute, tho

milk_plus [TotalFark] Quote 2008-01-18 04:25:47 PM
GOP candidates and their martial arts match:

Huckabee - Chuck Norris (fundie)
Giuliani - Steven Segal (colossal prick)
Romney - Chow Yon Fat (fake but handsome)
McCain - David Carradine (old, so very old)
Paul - Jackie Chan (incoherent)
Thompson - misc. enemy ninja 3 (no one cares about either of them)


Where else can we go with this? GOP candidates and their Ninja Turtle Villains?

McCain - Krang (aging veteran whose been exiled by the group he used to rule)

Fred Thompson - Krang's robot body (slow moving tool with no will of his own)

Rudy - Bebop (Clumsy, oafish asshole. Thinks he is the shiat, but really just a mini-boss)

Romney - Vernon Fenwick (April's enemy at the news station... only claim to fame is negative attacks and boldfaced lies about the turtles)


Huckabee - Lord Dregg (Introduced late in the show, but quickly becomes the main villain even though none of the fans like him)

Ron Paul - The Rat King (morally ambiguous, but mostly just a nutjob who lives in the sewer and is only taken seriously by his cult like rat followers)

On the flip side:

Clinton - Leonardo (ostensibly the leader, but really the lamest character who no one likes)

Edwards - Michaelangelo (goofball with a big smile who loves flashy things)

Obama - Raphael (The guy who SHOULD be the leader, only honest dude in the pack)

Kuchinich - Donatello (everyone knows he is truly the best, but he is too much of a nerd)

quatchi: Chuck Norris is weaker than a cup of Scottish tea.

S'rsly, Chuck is really a puss-tart who likes watching Steel Magnolias and then crying himself to sleep at least twice a week.

We could reverse meme this all and go on with our lives.

Chuck Norris is so gay that he doesn't wear pink tutus, he is a pink tutu.

/got nothing

I'm no fan of Huckabee or Chuckabee... but to compare Norris to that no talent assclown Van Damme, it's... it's just wrong.

Bill Frist
win.

/not as much as donatello.

Kind of off the topic but when did Steven Segal go from being an Italian guy to a Native American? Last few straight to DVD movies of the month I saw at Blockbuster he was dressed in ceremonial garb. And who is funding all his movies? It's bizarre I tells ya

smert: Kind of off the topic but when did Steven Segal go from being an Italian guy to a Native American? Last few straight to DVD movies of the month I saw at Blockbuster he was dressed in ceremonial garb. And who is funding all his movies? It's bizarre I tells ya

Don't forget ex-buddhist monk detective.

Bill Frist: Ron Paul - The Rat King (morally ambiguous, but mostly just a nutjob who lives in the sewer and is only taken seriously by his cult like rat followers)

Wow, that prompted me to do a search and led me to the Wikipedia (non-TMNT) "Rat King" article (new window)

Come for the Fark, stay for the serendipity.

sarcastrophe: oihorse: holy Fark, it's like Barrens chat in here. (Picture of cute girl in Barrens Chat T-Shirt)

I would hit it all night while she listened to Hawthorne Heights and weeped.

Oh, and Mike Huckabee is a prick.

Bill Frist: On the flip side:
Clinton - Leonardo (ostensibly the leader, but really the lamest character who no one likes)
Edwards - Michaelangelo (goofball with a big smile who loves flashy things)
Obama - Raphael (The guy who SHOULD be the leader, only honest dude in the pack)
Kuchinich - Donatello (everyone knows he is truly the best, but he is too much of a nerd)

Chuck Norris is a boon to the Huckabee campaign... until he actually speaks

Wow, the same thing can be said about Mike.

Bill Frist: On the flip side:

Clinton - Leonardo (ostensibly the leader, but really the lamest character who no one likes)

Edwards - Michaelangelo (goofball with a big smile who loves flashy things)

Obama - Raphael (The guy who SHOULD be the leader, only honest dude in the pack)

Kuchinich - Donatello (everyone knows he is truly the best, but he is too much of a nerd)

Leonardo is my favorite. Don't you dare compare him to her!!!!!

/grrrr :P

How could you like Leonardo? He had ZERO personality.
The only charactistic he had was being loyal to Splinter (lame) and his weapons never got used because they couldn't show blood, so he just like hit people on the back of the head with the butt of his sword.

smert: Kind of off the topic but when did Steven Segal go from being an Italian guy to a Native American? Last few straight to DVD movies of the month I saw at Blockbuster he was dressed in ceremonial garb. And who is funding all his movies? It's bizarre I tells ya

He went nuts in the '90s and went from being a Mafiaso type (due to his alleged connections to the real mob, I guess) to being a Environmentalist Peace Nut. That, and he probably thought that bright colors hid his weight gain instead of making him look like he had given up and gone muumuu on us.

Guntram Shatterhand: smert: Kind of off the topic but when did Steven Segal go from being an Italian guy to a Native American? Last few straight to DVD movies of the month I saw at Blockbuster he was dressed in ceremonial garb. And who is funding all his movies? It's bizarre I tells ya

He went nuts in the '90s and went from being a Mafiaso type (due to his alleged connections to the real mob, I guess) to being a Environmentalist Peace Nut. That, and he probably thought that bright colors hid his weight gain instead of making him look like he had given up and gone muumuu on us.

I thought he was asian?

Is there a candidate on the GOP side that ISN'T considered a 'joke' now?



I dunno...is there a candidate on the Democratic side who isn't considered an affirmative action quota hire?

oihorse: holy Fark, it's like Barrens chat in here.

I have a bumb computer, and am going through WoW withdrawl, so I'm getting a kick out of this..

I always though Elwyn Forest chat was the dumbest. You get the "which class is the best" arguments there.. combined with the people who chose to play a human in a fantasy game.

TheGreyPiper: I dunno...is there a candidate on the Democratic side who isn't considered an affirmative action quota hire?

You mean other than... all of them?

I'm going to go out on a limb here, take a wild guess: you're a white male, right? The kind of right-winger who thinks that a) any time a woman or minority succeeds, it's due to "affirmative action", and b) doesn't understand what "affirmative action" is?

Sorry, you FAIL. But thanks for playing.

milk_plus: GOP candidates and their martial arts match:

Huckabee - Chuck Norris (fundie)
Giuliani - Steven Segal (colossal prick)
Romney - Chow Yon Fat (fake but handsome)
McCain - David Carradine (old, so very old)
Paul - Jackie Chan (incoherent)
Thompson - misc. enemy ninja 3 (no one cares about either of them)

Well done.

//Bruce Lee beat Chuck Norris

The final snap of Chuck's spine is the penultimate moment in that piece. Even better than watching Bruce beat up Kareem Abdul in his last movie.

Wot is it with the right? They are the first to scream "Hollyweird" whenever a Liberal actor says anything like they're talking about a modern day Sodom but then when ya give them a washed up B-List actor or singer to gush over they turn into unrepenant fan-boys.

See: Reagan, Sonny Bono, Fred Thompson, Chuck Norris, Ahnold* etc etc ad nauseum.

/* not 'Terminator' Ahnold but 'Jingle All the Way' and 'Last Action Hero' Ahnold.




//The original GOPher approved this message.

Chuck Norris is harsh and all, but he's no Bob Ross.

This is what happens when Chuck Norris only speaks.(new window)

PS- 100% No Rick-Roll guarantee!!!

I can't help but picture Huckabee and Norris as the best Odd Couple ever. You know, if Oscar knew karate and tried to remain relevant while hocking used DVD copies of his movies and kept handing out free hardcovers of 'The Justice Riders' and talking about how he singlehandedly killed Hitler in 1974 with breath reeking of cheap Melon liquor.

I just wish entertainers, no matter what their party loyalty, would just keep their politics to themselves.
It seems like career suicide anyway, no matter what you choose, you've offended half of your audience.