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(WTVT-TV) Florida When Jesus appears in a slab of granite, there are only two words that should come to mind: "Florida" and "eBay"   (myfoxtampabay.com) divider line 65
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65 Comments   (+0 »)


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rjShadow [TotalFark] 2008-01-15 06:45:32 PM  
two words come to my mind: "lunacy" and "profit"

 
Goatspunk [TotalFark] 2008-01-15 06:45:40 PM  
Looks more like Satan. No PS skillz here, someone get to it.

 
tyr9 2008-01-15 06:46:24 PM  
Is it just me or is that a picture of Satan?

 
kc987654 2008-01-15 06:46:35 PM  
How much? I'm redoing my kitchen and nothing says classy like a Jesus countertop.

/I will make my Virgin Mary grilled cheese sammiches on it

 
wildrufus [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-01-15 06:46:42 PM  
Idiocy
Boredom

 
Xenow 2008-01-15 06:46:51 PM  
Sometimes these look a little like Jesus, but the dog ass one looks better than this one.

 
Xenow 2008-01-15 06:47:44 PM  
yoism.reality-movement.org

 
Russ1642 2008-01-15 06:48:07 PM  
Could be made into a very nice urinal.

 
phallus 2008-01-15 06:48:22 PM  
"stupid" and "catholics"

 
Travimoto 2008-01-15 06:48:28 PM  
Save the cheerleader...save the world

 
Mr_Smartypants 2008-01-15 06:50:17 PM  
"rorschach"

 
Izath187 2008-01-15 06:50:22 PM  
www.myfoxtampabay.com
Could just be Nicole Richie.
\ribs, eugh.

 
I Eat Laser For Breakfast 2008-01-15 06:51:35 PM  
ZOMBIE CHRIST!11!!11!!1!1

 
SlowTimedRapid 2008-01-15 06:54:12 PM  
Goatspunk, tyr9: [Satan]

Agreed. Looks like one of those horned goat heads that go inside the pentagram to me.

 
TxRabbit 2008-01-15 06:54:30 PM  
Jebus farked the link, cuz he hates you all

 
tuna fingers 2008-01-15 06:54:31 PM  
subby
I was thinking "monumental" and "cleavage".

www.mawsons.com.au

 
DonkeyDixon [TotalFark] 2008-01-15 06:54:51 PM  
i157.photobucket.com

I'm going with a blue-handed demon giving us the finger

/no shop skillz
//no paint skillz
///slashie skillz

 
miltonbabbitt 2008-01-15 06:55:43 PM  
www.utlacrosse.com

 
ultraholland 2008-01-15 06:56:21 PM  
Jesus my ass

www.myfoxtampabay.com

news.bbc.co.uk

 
MightySausage 2008-01-15 06:58:27 PM  
"Jesus, is that granite slab for sale?"
"It is now lol"

 
a dingo ate me baby 2008-01-15 06:58:42 PM  
"metriod"
&
"prime"
www.myfoxtampabay.com
wiimedia.ign.com

 
tuna fingers 2008-01-15 07:00:47 PM  
ultraholland WINS!

 
mistahtom 2008-01-15 07:00:48 PM  
Dude, I'm still gonna start a hauling business. For 20 bucks, I will take your broken water heater, fridge, washing machines etc...anything with a flat facing panel. Then I will use a blow torch to burn images of jesus and mary into the panels and sell them on ebay! Who is down?

 
JDAT 2008-01-15 07:01:39 PM  
it's a streetlight.

 
phillydrifter 2008-01-15 07:02:00 PM  
mistahtom: Dude, I'm still gonna start a hauling business. For 20 bucks, I will take your broken water heater, fridge, washing machines etc...anything with a flat facing panel. Then I will use a blow torch to burn images of jesus and mary into the panels and sell them on ebay! Who is down?

I'll just make toasters that toast the image of jebus/mary onto toast, i think it's a lot cheaper. But I'm with you.

 
servoled [TotalFark] 2008-01-15 07:02:24 PM  
www.medaloffreedom.com

 
All2morrowsparTs 2008-01-15 07:03:35 PM  
I thought it was Carl Lewis

 
mistahtom 2008-01-15 07:05:38 PM  
phillydrifter

Yeah, but I will claim my business is a recycling business and thus will get more people, even pot smoking hippies (redundant, i know) to join in the effort!

Then to even drive the point farther home, give the money to a) planned parenthood or b) an atheist public service organization


Thx for the support

 
Mooha 2008-01-15 07:06:21 PM  
I saw a minotaur with blue shoulder pads

/which went out in the eighties
//someone should tell that to the minotaur

 
Pootums 2008-01-15 07:06:58 PM  
miltonbabbitt: first thoughts, too.

www.mickeyimports.com

 
GodsTumor 2008-01-15 07:08:09 PM  
Doesn't look anything like the FSM!

 
ultraholland 2008-01-15 07:09:43 PM  
Mark my words, I'm gonna paint the virgin Mary on a window with some vegetable oil or something so it shows up when the light hits it just so. I'll call the newspaper and eventually people will show up, praise it as a miracle and start praying outside of my house. I will then proceed to wash it off with a gleeful smile as these peoples' hope turns to bewilderment. I will then submit the article to Fark where it will be redlit.

 
phillydrifter 2008-01-15 07:11:30 PM  
img267.imageshack.us

www.davesilvan.com

 
Psychopusher 2008-01-15 07:14:31 PM  
“For behold, I, Zombie God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might eat of your brains, and belch.” -Lividity 4:20

 
SlowTimedRapid 2008-01-15 07:16:12 PM  
servoled FTW

 
dontbotherme 2008-01-15 07:17:12 PM  
Does anyone else's browser come to an absolute crawl when first visiting the smaller Fox websites? Mine spikes to 99% cpu usage for about 10 seconds...

/Will look into it further if need be

 
walnuts55 [TotalFark] 2008-01-15 07:23:02 PM  
miltonbabbitt

Why the butt sucker horns?

 
dontbotherme 2008-01-15 07:26:58 PM  
I guess the six times that Math.random()*1000000000000000000 fires off could be causing it.

 
AnonAmbientLight 2008-01-15 07:34:06 PM  
Reminds me of that video that was on fark awhile ago. A blueish looking "ghost" showing up on the gas station camera. Turns out it was a fly or some bug.

However, one lady instantly said "It was an angel. I know it was."

I wish people would think for themselves instead of a belief in bedknobs and broom sticks.

 
miltonbabbitt 2008-01-15 07:35:49 PM  
walnuts55: miltonbabbitt

Why the butt sucker horns?


I know nothing of this butt sucking you speak of (never attended UT).

I saw the image in the granite, and the first thing I thought of was the University of Texas horns.

Are you an Texas A&M grad perhaps?

 
OneNightStand 2008-01-15 07:40:36 PM  
I believe this is what you are all looking for: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/Rock-n-Roll/satanic_ramhead. jpg

 
KentuckyBob 2008-01-15 07:44:32 PM  
www.riverfall.com

I third that cow.

 
OneNightStand 2008-01-15 07:44:33 PM  
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/Rock-n-Roll/satanic_ramhead. jpg

Still mess this shiat up. Forgive me.

 
OneNightStand 2008-01-15 07:45:45 PM  
I give up. Someone who knows what they are doing can fix this.

 
scavenger 2008-01-15 07:50:20 PM  
It's sort of frustrating to think that one could spend hours researching the presidential candidates, talking with others about the issues, doing some serious digging into the pros and cons of each candidate, and finally come to a decision and vote.

Then people that see Jesus or the Virgin Mary in moisture stains come along and cancel out your vote.

 
scavenger 2008-01-15 07:52:12 PM  
OneNightStand: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/Rock-n-Roll/satanic_ramhead. jpg

Still mess this shiat up. Forgive me.


good heavens that jesus is savior.com website is BAZOINKED

 
miltonbabbitt 2008-01-15 07:56:01 PM  
OneNightStand: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/Rock-n-Roll/satanic_ramhead. jpg

Still mess this shiat up. Forgive me.


Here's a working link for 'ya (pops)

Long day, eh?

 
A0Z 2008-01-15 08:03:50 PM  
75 minutes and only 47 comments?
This is a good thing.
When this sort of ridiculous gawkery meets total apathy, this is indeed a good thing.

 
patagoniantoothfish 2008-01-15 08:06:55 PM  
I don't know what the market will pay for Jesus Velasquez memorabilia in granite...

 
Tran Forsythe [TotalFark] 2008-01-15 08:30:02 PM  
Maybe I'm just hungry, but it makes me think of BBQ - a cow skull, betwixt two blue-black chickens.

 
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