Nice, subby.

+1

FTFA:

A NASCAR plate on the getaway car led police right to him.

HAH!

I shat bricks.

He said he'd never want to gypsum people.

from the comments on USA today article:

Nick from Ks. wrote: 3h 59m ago
He must have been plastered when he tried it.


FAIL

well, I guess now he has to throw in the trowel

What do you exspackle?

he's going to have to do some fine sanding, especially in the vaginal area.

Eat The Placenta: well, I guess now he has to throw in the trowel

SweetSilverBlues: What do you exspackle?

Please, no mortarrible puns.

The fact that he was smoking a joint compounded his legal woes.

maybe he wasn't primed properly

The guy is innocent until proven guilty, and the court will need more than this small spackle of evidence.

He's going to act like epoxy whore in prison.

Robbing banks in the USA ( which netted $7,910,) Is much more profitable than doing so in Canada.

When are they sanding him to jail?

C'mon, don't paint all petty criminals with the same brush

Hmmmm. I guess they are gonna nail him to the wall for this.

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Eat The Placenta: well, I guess now he has to throw in the trowel

SweetSilverBlues: What do you exspackle?

Please, no mortarrible puns.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

But I do wonder if his lawyers are going to insulate him from the press.

Anyone actually get like a bank camera photo of him in the compound? That would be fantastic!

/only mental picture I have is of Tom Hanks in Money Pit covered in plaster.

1. Submit headline with pun.
2. ???
3. Greenlight!

+1

Witness #1 at the scene "I miter saw him leaving in a car with a Nascar license plate".

He must have been real hard up against a wall. What a flake!

Atypical Person Reading Fark: The guy is innocent until proven guilty, and the court will need more than this small spackle of evidence.

I don't know, seems to me they have enough concrete evidence to cement a verdict...

What the heck! Let's go for 1000 comments on this article! Who's with me?

He obviously cracked under interrogation

a self-spackling, what a mess

First thing I thought of when I saw this one. LGT new window
Link (new window)

Wonder if those two are relations.

When I was about 15 or so, I helped out on a Habitat for Humanity project. As a joke, I put spackle on my face. It took about a week for the rash to go away.

So I'm getting a kick out of these replies, naturally.

JonnyBGoode: Atypical Person Reading Fark: The guy is innocent until proven guilty, and the court will need more than this small spackle of evidence.

I don't know, seems to me they have enough concrete evidence to cement a verdict...

True, I don't see that they have a solid foundation for this case. They'll really have to build it brick by brick in order to level this thing out.

Those guys appear totally glued & screwed. They'd have been better-off just skimming from their boss.

/looks like the gypsum really hit the fan this time.

Just to piss in everybody's corn flakes, I would like the point out that the robbery was in October. He was convicted this past week. Counter factual puns don't count.

yotta: Just to piss in everybody's corn flakes, I would like the point out that the robbery was in October. He was convicted this past week. Counter factual puns don't count.

Why yes, they do. Thanks for playing.

He's relying on a good defense attorney to smooth things over. Unfortunately I think he's pretty deep in the mud at this point.

JonnyBGoode: Atypical Person Reading Fark: The guy is innocent until proven guilty, and the court will need more than this small spackle of evidence.

I don't know, seems to me they have enough concrete evidence to cement a verdict...

...But it's obvious that he's a hardened criminal!

yotta: Just to piss in everybody's corn flakes, I would like the point out that the robbery was in October. He was convicted this past week. Counter factual puns don't count.

Whatever the case, his name is mud.

theorellior: Whatever the case, his name is mud.

I'll bet his mudder was a mudder.

He'll get tons of caulk in prison.

/a stretch, I know.
//too many PBR's tonight.
///Hall of slashies!

But he never hurt nobody...

Texture friends and tell them about this thread.

The bastard should hang. Screw him!

margarine of error: Texture friends and tell them about this thread.

lolz

/pun thread with no voting?

wait a second.. this redneck on another site was saying that only black people steal stuff?! now i'm confused. are black guys into nascar now or was i lied to?

That guy must have been plastered.

I mean hammered.

Screwed!

/three *sheets* to the wind!

My GF said this guy's the kind of stud she'd like to nail.

Sounds like the redneck-tweaker version of "Inside Man".

Simple article- I skimmed it, and after that I pretty much had it taped.....

I'll try one:

I guess his plan will need a little patch work...