+1 for the offal pun.

Aren't all vegetarian haggis/meatloaf/pate/whatevers made from the same recipe? Nuts, beans and grains mashed into a pile and put in a loaf pan to bake.

Absolutely tasteless unless you add lots of cheese and eat them with HP or ketchup or BBQ sauce.

I've seen vegetarian haggis since 2004. This isn't new.

Prolly taste good with some bacon bits added in.

I've never understood imitating meat dishes.

"Oh, it looks and tastes just like turkey!"

Then eat the farking turkey and STFU.

Last year at the Scottish fest I saw Vegan Haggis. I was going to buy some for the amusement factor but it was 9 bucks so I didn't

What is is stuffed inside of self righteousness?
/not really a veggie hater, really.
//But c'mon. WTF is the point of veggie haggis?

If I was not meant to eat animals they should not be so damn tasty. I'm going to the Texas Roadhouse next Sat. and getting me a full rack of ribs.

realwx: I've seen vegetarian haggis since 2004. This isn't new.

But it's still gross.

Vegitarian haggis? Why not just all it nutloaf?

Haggis is, and always will be, Sheep or goat stomach, stuffed with heart, liver, kidneys, oat or barley and suet. With lots of salt, and a little pepper (if you can afford it).

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great Chieftan o' the Puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.
The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.
His knife see Rustic-labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!
Then, horn for horn they stretch an' strive,
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit hums.
Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scronful' view
On sic a dinner?
Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro' bluidy flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!
But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned,
Like taps o' thrissle.
Ye Pow's wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae shinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if you wish her gratefu' pray'r,
Gie her a Haggis! *
* This stanza was originally written out as follows:-
"Ye Pow'rs wha gie us a' that's gude
Still bless auld Caledonia's brood,
Wi' great John Barleycorn's heart's bluid
In stoups or luggies;
And on our boards, that king o' food,
A gud Scotch Haggis!"

realwx: I've seen vegetarian haggis since 2004. This isn't new.

By now, it's probably time you tossed it out.

Vegetarian.

Would not eat.

That is all.

Get your haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs! Boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds! Good for what ails ya!

Cosmic Crab: realwx: I've seen vegetarian haggis since 2004. This isn't new.

By now, it's probably time you tossed it out.

Yeah, but Scotland has some nice vegetarian haggis, and my vegetarian bro loves the cans.

It's nae Vegan Haggis unless it's made with real Vegans.

ultraholland: I've never understood imitating meat dishes.

Yeah, I don't eat the simulated meat crap. If I liked the real thing that much, I wouldn't have stopped eating it (which was the primary reason). And that fakeroo stuff is usually loaded with enough glutamate flavour enhancers to set me either hallucinating or off into a migraine.

I saw veggie bologna the other day in the store. WTF?

The 'meat imitation' vegetarian thing always seems very weird. You can't make haggis out of oatmeal and beans, that makes it not haggis. The same way you can't make couscous of out sausage.

The_Religious_Left: The same way you can't make couscous out of sausage.

FTFY Dumbass

eat whatever the hell you want.

I personally think that vegetarians who are interested in promoting their cause/diet/lifestyle would be best served by not promoting bullshiat "substitute" food to meat eaters.

Every single vegetarian meal I've ever had which was a substitute for an equivalent dish which is meant to use meat was a disappointment.

On the other hand, original vegetarian dishes are more often not bad at all. I've had plenty of authentic vegetarian cuisine at Indian friends' houses growing up (the parents cooked vegetarian curries), and never really missed the fact that there was no meat. However, whenever I ate at a hippy tryhard vegan's house, or went to a hippy vegetarian restaurant with an agenda and all-too-many "meat substitute" dishes, it was a disappointment.

Proper, authentic vegetarian dishes, from cuisines in places where the concept is very ingrained, are not too bad at all. Trying to force vegetarianism on cuisines/dishes which were largely based on meat being the main flavour ingredient, not so much.

"The reality is that vegetarianism is on a world scale; it's hugely prevalent..."

Huh? So vegetarian restaurants outnumber those that serve meat around the world?

/glad I don't live in Toronto
//Still don't get it- if meat is so bad, why do they try so hard to copy its look/taste/aroma?

This is old news...I saw vegetarian haggis being served in Scotland back in 1998.

But even regular haggis is shiatty!

What vegetarian out there thinks to themself "boy, I miss haggis"?

Having to choose between vegetarian haggis and real haggis is like having to choose between swimming in vomit and swimming in vomit with your mouth stapled open.

/disapproves

There are VERY few vegetarians that I don't despise and even fewer vegans.

Don't kid yourselves, you do no one a favor by forgoing meat; animals still die and nature is pushed aside even for carrots.

Anyone who does it for the environment then goes home and turns on a TV or a computer or anything not absolutely necessary is a hypocrite.

For those of you with dietary problems related to lack of specific enzymes and such, you get a free pass.
Most of the rest of you can go fark yourselves.

/Learn how much water is redistributed (and the effects on fish and wildlife) to get your variety and year-round supply of tasty veggies.
//mmm flesh

The Asshole Guy

If I was not meant to eat animals they should not be so damn tasty.

If I was not meant to smoke crack it shouldn't make me so damn high.

All I can say is I'll never make fun of vegans. They're only paying homage to the wonderful product that feeds the pigs that end up in my belly.

/Gawd bless 'em.

really... why not just create new names for this stuff because it's not "bacon" or "cheese" or "turkey" or "haggis".

Eat some eggplant and portabello and take your vitamins. You can make amazing tasting dishes with vegetables without having to have any dish remind one of meat. Have to think the folks who buy this crap are fairly insecure about their diet choices and probably their cooking skills and creativity.

And Lewis Black was right about the "soy juice" as well. Where are the teats on a soybean?

Vegetables have rights too and if they wanted to be thought of as meat they'd find their way into a cow.

whatshisname:Aren't all vegetarian haggis/meatloaf/pate/whatevers made from the same recipe? Nuts, beans and grains mashed into a pile and put in a loaf pan to bake.

Absolutely tasteless unless you add lots of cheese bacon and eat them with HP or ketchup or BBQ sauce hamburger or pork sausage or venison.

FTFY

FunkOut: I saw veggie bologna the other day in the store. WTF?

The thinking there is that two wrongs do make a right.

Melgania: However, whenever I ate at a hippy tryhard vegan's house, or went to a hippy vegetarian restaurant with an agenda and all-too-many "meat substitute" dishes, it was a disappointment.

Exactly. Many vegetarian dishes rock. The substitutes blow.

I was in Scotland in October, and we had a big Scottish meal, with Haggis, tatties, and neeps.

I had the REAL haggis, and my wife the vegetarian haggis. They did NOT tast the same.

They were both pretty disgusting! You need a lot of Scotch to eat Scottish food.

I'm convinced most Scottish food was the result of a dare. -Mike Meyers (SIMAAM)

/but the country and people are awesome

vegatables are what food eats

Melgania: I personally think that vegetarians who are interested in promoting their cause/diet/lifestyle would be best served by not promoting bullshiat "substitute" food to meat eaters.

Every single vegetarian meal I've ever had which was a substitute for an equivalent dish which is meant to use meat was a disappointment.

On the other hand, original vegetarian dishes are more often not bad at all. I've had plenty of authentic vegetarian cuisine at Indian friends' houses growing up (the parents cooked vegetarian curries), and never really missed the fact that there was no meat. However, whenever I ate at a hippy tryhard vegan's house, or went to a hippy vegetarian restaurant with an agenda and all-too-many "meat substitute" dishes, it was a disappointment.

Proper, authentic vegetarian dishes, from cuisines in places where the concept is very ingrained, are not too bad at all. Trying to force vegetarianism on cuisines/dishes which were largely based on meat being the main flavour ingredient, not so much.

And how. Cultures that have celebrated Vegetarianism have come up with great food but the stuff that has come out lately just as a "meat substitute" have always been meh. It must be the difference between making food to use delicious vegetable ingredients instead of settling on using veggies to satisfy your meat lust. You aren't enjoying the food for what it is.

Indian food for the win!

Shut up you people who are complaining about vegetarian food imitating meaty food. Where were you the last time someone talked about eating a "meat loaf"? Huh?

aerojockey: Shut up you people who are complaining about vegetarian food imitating meaty food. Where were you the last time someone talked about eating a "meat loaf"? Huh?

Wait, what?

"Ah, that is only when ye canna find the real thing mistress, tis no' a patch on the real thing. Oh, a canny beast is the haggis, which makes its burrows in tattie cellars..."

Further to Melgania's comments, the whole concept of "pretend meat" is misplaced. It ain't gonna fool the carnivores, and if vegetarians are eating it, maybe they're not committed to the cause.

(And don't get me started about lesbians and dildos)

aerojockey: Shut up you people who are complaining about vegetarian food imitating meaty food. Where were you the last time someone talked about eating a "meat loaf"? Huh?

Uh...ummm....ohhh...yeah, what?

GoldDude: (And don't get me started about lesbians and dildos)

Threadjack away, please!

Mmmmm, Caledonian Kitchen, Texas canned haggis! Really good, actually.


Jim Waters, the man behind the can.
They actually went to Scotland to compete in the haggis tasting competition. They placed 5th. In Scotland. Which is pretty impressive! Keep in mind they weren't able to ship all their stuff up there to prepare it fresh. They entered the canned stuff they brought over!

If GOD didn't want us to eat animals, why did HE make them out of meat?

GoldDude: Further to Melgania's comments, the whole concept of "pretend meat" is misplaced. It ain't gonna fool the carnivores, and if vegetarians are eating it, maybe they're not committed to the cause.

(And don't get me started about lesbians and dildos)

I have a friend from Taiwan who really hates the whole meat substitute thing. Taiwanese vegetarians are big on it though. Go to any Asian grocery, and you'll see it. Entire aisles of fake chicken, fake duck, fake beef, fake mince, you name it. And yes, this is pretty much what she says. "WTF is the point of your vegetarianism if you're constantly pretending to be a meat eater?"

Funny thing is though, a lot of that Taiwanese meat substitute stuff tastes exactly the same as the non-pretend-meat stuff. It's all made of soy and gluten after all. Lots of people use it in vegetarian recipes (ones which are actually original recipes with legume protein in mind rather than meat) without pretending that it is meat.

And again, that's when it actually works. If you use that mock duck meat as finely chopped legume protein strips in your stir fry, with the mindset that it's just a vege protein strip, and you don't pretend that it's duck meat, it's not bad at all. As soon as you get in the mindset that it's "supposed to be a piece of duck meat", it'll be disappointing and not taste right. This is where substitution fails. It tries to create a carnivore dish which isn't, instead of just cooking and enjoying the food for what it is.

RKTeuthis: There are VERY few vegetarians that I don't despise and even fewer vegans.

Don't kid yourselves, you do no one a favor by forgoing meat; animals still die and nature is pushed aside even for carrots.



I'm not going on any kind of rant here, just expessing myself...anyhow, I just hate the way meat tastes and smells. It got worse and worse until I suddenly couldn't stand it anymore. I'm even allergic to a number of meats as well. Eating turkey will make me break out in hives. If meat is even slightly off or was raised in nasty conditions, I can smell the rot and I can smell the excrement while it cooks. Recognizing the scent of pig shiat when someone has pork chops frying is really nasty.

Plus growing up on a farm where one day you could have a critter trailing after you, trying to get you to pet it or play with it, begging for snacks, and answering to a name and then a few days later your mother is nattering on about how good "Spot" tastes, yum yum yum, with some kind of berserk delight in her eyes...that could have been a little traumatic in retrospect.

I never push my diet choices on anyone besides insisting that they can't force me to eat something just because they think fish or chicken is a vegetable. I do get a little tired of people who think it's funny to imply I'm a flake or "just being squeamish" or do the "har, har, lookee, I'm eating a cute widdle animal, don't that make you sad" routine. When you seen a baby goat you fed a bottle to the day before getting shot in head, and then hung by his back legs with his throat slit to drain the blood in a bucket...dammit, I'm still really pissed about that. I had to carry him out of the pen and bring him outside to the buyers.

GoldDude: Further to Melgania's comments, the whole concept of "pretend meat" is misplaced. It ain't gonna fool the carnivores, and if vegetarians are eating it, maybe they're not committed to the cause.

(And don't get me started about lesbians and dildos)

I think you're misinformed on some concepts. If somebody gave up meat that doesn't mean they don't like the taste. Also if a woman is a lesbian that doesn't mean they don't like things in their cooches (dildos, fingers, fists, et al), it means they enjoy the feel of boobies in their hands and the tangy zip of vagina on their lips. Having a dildo in you doesn't mean you want a man to have sex with. That's like saying a gay man is really straight because they just replaced a vagina with a butthole.

Unless you were kidding, then I apologize for my threadjack.

Lisa: No I can't! I can't eat any of them!
Homer: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Lisa honey, are you saying you're *never* going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Christ on a bicycle, how do you make something vegetarian look like an autopsy?

RKTeuthis: Anyone who does it for the environment then goes home and turns on a TV or a computer or anything not absolutely necessary is a hypocrite.

I'm not a vegetarian. Meat is present in just about everything I eat. But, what does your above comment even mean? That doesn't make sense at all. People can do one thing "for the environment"--and one thing only--without being hypocrites.

"Yeah, you recycle your cans but you own a car?! YOU LYING BASTARD!"

That's just a silly way to think.

I also think vegetarianism is strange, but I guess if that's what someone likes, he or she is certainly welcome to eat it.

Bucky Katt: eat whatever the hell you want.

This.

/much rather eat the veggie version
//can't stand ovine meat (lamb, mutton, hogget)

FunkOut: I'm not going on any kind of rant here, just expessing myself...anyhow, I just hate the way meat tastes and smells. It got worse and worse until I suddenly couldn't stand it anymore. I'm even allergic to a number of meats as well. Eating turkey will make me break out in hives. If meat is even slightly off or was raised in nasty conditions, I can smell the rot and I can smell the excrement while it cooks. Recognizing the scent of pig shiat when someone has pork chops frying is really nasty.

Plus growing up on a farm where one day you could have a critter trailing after you, trying to get you to pet it or play with it, begging for snacks, and answering to a name and then a few days later your mother is nattering on about how good "Spot" tastes, yum yum yum, with some kind of berserk delight in her eyes...that could have been a little traumatic in retrospect.

I never push my diet choices on anyone besides insisting that they can't force me to eat something just because they think fish or chicken is a vegetable. I do get a little tired of people who think it's funny to imply I'm a flake or "just being squeamish" or do the "har, har, lookee, I'm eating a cute widdle animal, don't that make you sad" routine. When you seen a baby goat you fed a bottle to the day before getting shot in head, and then hung by his back legs with his throat slit to drain the blood in a bucket...dammit, I'm still really pissed about that. I had to carry him out of the pen and bring him outside to the buyers.

Militant veganism is one of the fastest growing religions in the US, and so the backlash against both vegans and vegetarians is usually pretty bad. It's the minority that give the majority of "live and let live" ones (like you) a bad name. Kind of like fundamentalist Christians.

Concerning TFA, I agree with the irony. "MEAT IS EVIL! MEAT IS BAD! Ooooooh, tofuburgers!"