And enjoy your bright orange, explosive, and so-greasy-it-requires-Toilet-Duck-after-each-time evacuations. I'm investing in anal tampons.

Look for orange pants to be a new line at Cut Mart this spring.

yeah, right...like I've never heard that line before.
Usually when I hear a claim like that I get a free vegetable-peeling glove or closet maximizer with it.

Tofino: And enjoy your bright orange, explosive, and so-greasy-it-requires-Toilet-Duck-after-each-time evacuations. I'm investing in anal tampons.

I was going to say something about gas build-up, but your comment is much more evocative.

FTFA: Dr Kanner, a food-science researcher for the Israeli government, found that if polyphenols are taken with a meal, some of the fats eaten are not absorbed into the blood but discarded as waste.

Wait till the oil hits the anus.

Bacon isn't becoming more expensive, it's just the value of the dollar going down.

/your dog wants a decent paycheck

aerojockey: FTFA: Dr Kanner, a food-science researcher for the Israeli government, found that if polyphenols are taken with a meal, some of the fats eaten are not absorbed into the blood but discarded as waste.

Wait till the oil hits the anus.

Lube?

/How bad is it that's what I thought of immediately?
//It'll be a hit in prisons...

Unintentional anular evacuations are the best kind.


Anyways, if bacon reaches $100 a pound, I'm going to start raising my own pigs.

yay pork

Bacon thread!

Not mine, but awesome. Kudos to whoever had the patience to sit down and make it.

Mmm, bacon...

I've heard this one before.

Then in a few months it'll be taken off the market for being "unsafe," and "killing everyone except Will Smith to fight for survival against those left behind."

/Americans are fattys and need to learn that getting rid of said fat should take a little work.

...still no cure, ect.

/oblig

Ahh polyphenols.

I knew about thee,
Since I was a lad,
Found in green tea,
And now they're a fad.

The truth about catechin polyphenols, is that they also affect your hormones. Particularly, Leptin which controls your metabolism.

Your body tries to maintain homeostasis including a 'normal' body weight. When it goes above your normal, Leptin levels go up and increase your metabolism. When you go under, they go down and slow it down. That's why 'those last few pounds' are so hard to lose.

Catechin polyphenols essentially tell your body to increase leptin and your metabolism goes up.

When I was in high school I drank endless amounts of Green Tea, ate insane amounts of calories and maintained my weight. Go for natural, even though those Arizona cans do have their share of polyphenols. Antioxidant properties? True.

Abandon fruits & vegetables? Hardly.

Chitosan (p) redone?

Oh wait, this is a kosher version. The original was derived from shellfish.

I'm fat, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

"Americans are fattys and need to learn that getting rid of said fat should take a little work."


Kirby528 this might actually be relevant except that it was invented by a member of the UK, released in the UK and is being reported in a UK newspaper.

Good thing this guy saved some before the prices went up...

Slight risk of anal leakage.

That Alli pill said it best. Alli literature says to wear black pants, bring a chance of clothing, and wear a mini pad in case of accidents. Dude, the mini pad requirement is NOT going over well with the guys.

Anal tampons? Better patent those now bro.

dsxmachina
"Americans are fattys and need to learn that getting rid of said fat should take a little work."


Kirby528 this might actually be relevant except that it was invented by a member of the UK, released in the UK and is being reported in a UK newspaper.

Oops, didn't RTFA. Boy is there egg on may face!

I'm still gonna say that my statement is true and somewhat relevant.

I think this product will sell far better in American than anywhere else, and the company who researched this drug will primarily market it here.

It's a tapeworm.

kirby528: I think this product will sell far better in American than anywhere else, and the company who researched this drug will primarily market it here.

I think your right as well, Americans do have a tendency to love the new "miracle" anything, let alone the weight loss crap.

this is great! i can now eat my own weight in cheese without worrying about my heart exploding.

and my doctor said my dream would never come true!!

Gyrfalcon: It's a tapeworm.

/ And the winner is...

Hmmm I wonder how it's going to do this. Fatty food tends to be greasy all the way through the system... if you don't absorb the fat, it's got to go somewhere.

Will one of the side-effects of this new pill be "leakage" of the unsavory sort? What other things will be mucked with by this pill?

We'll likely wind up, 10 years down the line, finding out that it causes some horrible side effects, like birth defects or something.

Beware the NSFW picture at the bottom of the page (an ad for the new Tom Hanks movie).

/bacon and boobies
//what a great combination!

Gyrfalcon: It's a tapeworm.

TFA: The chemicals were known to cut the risk of heart attack - but until now it has not been established why.

Because the pills contain a lethal dose of cyanide.
Cuts your risk of dying of cancer or heart disease to zero!
If that's not revolutionary, I don't know what it.

Letsee, letsee... I can take a pill that will make me poop out the fat that I eat, or I can continue to eat less and exercise more to lose weight. Hm... tough choice.

Well, I know the side effects of exercise are ones that I can live with. I think I'd pass on the pills.

/lost 80 pounds
//so far
///pics in profile for those that want to see me in my awful blue dress

Klippoklondike: this is great! i can now eat my own weight in cheese without worrying about my heart exploding.

and my doctor said my dream would never come true!!

This made me laugh. A lot.
/Golf clap.

Tealeaf: Letsee, letsee... I can take a pill that will make me poop out the fat that I eat, or I can continue to eat less and exercise more to lose weight. Hm... tough choice.

Well, I know the side effects of exercise are ones that I can live with. I think I'd pass on the pills.

/lost 80 pounds
//so far
///pics in profile for those that want to see me in my awful blue dress

Don't let bacon come between you and progress.

Great job so far, congratulations on taking positive steps to improve your own life.

FTA: A lentil burger doesn't always have the same appeal as a beefburger

Does it depend on what you're planning to use it for?

MMMMmmmm Bacon.....

So it blocks some fat. Too many sugary and starchy foods have just as much to do with being overweight as fat laden stuff.

Expect the number of Diabetics in th UK to go up.

darklingscribe: So it blocks some fat. Too many sugary and starchy foods have just as much to do with being overweight as fat laden stuff.

yea, but I already stopped eating a lot of sweets and carbos. Plus I restict my calories, and eat lots of fruit and green leafys, and fish at least twice a week. and I still cannot lose those last pounds or that little pooch belly.

So if taking a pill helps, I am all for it.

If God wanted me to consume polyphenol chemicals He would have put them in the bacon-wrapped deep-fried Twinkies that I'm about to eat.

Klippoklondike: this is great! i can now eat my own weight in cheese without worrying about my heart exploding.

and my doctor said my dream would never come true!!

I believe the saying is: "eat a block of cheese the size of a car battery".

Oznog:
Anal tampons? Better patent those now bro.

In rainbow colors?

what can brown do for you?

Nick Nostril: Oznog:
Anal tampons? Better patent those now bro.

In rainbow colors?

By the time you're done with them, yes.

jfarkinB: Nick Nostril: Oznog:
Anal tampons? Better patent those now bro.

In rainbow colors?

By the time you're done with them, yes.

ugh...i am was eating breakfast

I just ride the snake to keep down my weight

Jimmy Tango's Fatbusters (new window)

twidgetfitch: When I was in high school I drank endless amounts of Green Tea, ate insane amounts of calories and maintained my weight.

I think that's a function of being in high school with a teenager's metabolism rather than anything you might have eaten or drunk.

Oznog: Alli literature says to wear black pants, bring a change of clothing, and wear a mini pad in case of accidents.

Is this for real? I knew "anal leakage" was definitely a problem here, but a minipad?

Maybe they could come up with some little electronic gizmo that sits in your colon and burns the excess oils and fats for electricity which you could use to recharge your cell phone or iPod using a special adapter cord.

New and improved fat-blocking pill!

Now with 10% less anal leakage!

There will never be a Pill that is healthy and can make you lose weight, Ever.

Meh. Everyone knows the Real Super Diet Pill is 2,4 dinitrophenol.

Of course, there's a fine dosage line between "works great" and "dying horribly in shrieking agony" but, hey, nothing's totally safe.