I have yet to hear a discription of this incident that makes the slightest bit of sense.

To review, the following hit the main page:

Iranian ships provoke U.S. warships in Gulf of Tonkin... err... Strait of Hormuz

Because the U.S. didn't sink those Iranian speedboats, Iran now thinks they're afraid of them

Professors from Columbia University to travel to Iran and apologize to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for their president getting all up in his grill last year

Iran claims U.S. Navy video is fake. U.S. Navy heard to mutter that next time those sinking Iranian boats will be very real

Bush says Iran is a threat to whirrled peas

Claiming the U.S. version is fake, Iran releases their own video of the gulf warship encounter with voiceover work by Eddie Haskell



And these get relegated to the politics tab:

Pentagon: Remember that video proving Iran boats were threatening to blow up a US ship? Well funny thing, umm we actually don't think it was them who said it but included it anways.

U.S. officials do not believe the white boxes dumped in the Persian Gulf by Iranian speed boats were any threat to coalition ships. Officals now believe boxes only contained uncounted votes from the 2000 US election

In what kind of military can a billion dollar destroyer be threatened by some little speedboats?

Good catch, Persepolis. I guess the corrections aren't as interesting.

lolmao666: Yeah Persepolis, FARK wants a war.

/is that so?

Not at all. If they really were slanted they wouldn't have greened some of those articles.

I just thought it was interesting how they were sorted.

Persepolis: To review, the following hit the main page:

Iranian ships provoke U.S. warships in Gulf of Tonkin... err... Strait of Hormuz

Because the U.S. didn't sink those Iranian speedboats, Iran now thinks they're afraid of them

Professors from Columbia University to travel to Iran and apologize to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for their president getting all up in his grill last year

Iran claims U.S. Navy video is fake. U.S. Navy heard to mutter that next time those sinking Iranian boats will be very real

Bush says Iran is a threat to whirrled peas

Claiming the U.S. version is fake, Iran releases their own video of the gulf warship encounter with voiceover work by Eddie Haskell



And these get relegated to the politics tab:

Pentagon: Remember that video proving Iran boats were threatening to blow up a US ship? Well funny thing, umm we actually don't think it was them who said it but included it anways.

U.S. officials do not believe the white boxes dumped in the Persian Gulf by Iranian speed boats were any threat to coalition ships. Officals now believe boxes only contained uncounted votes from the 2000 US election

Fiction sells better than reality.

Larofeticus: In what kind of military can a billion dollar destroyer be threatened by some little speedboats?

See U.S.S. Cole, October 12, 2000, Port of Aden, Yemen. 17 sailors killed, 39 injured.

Basically, hon, any kind of military where a little speedboat can reach the side of a billion dollar destroyer.

Gyrfalcon: Larofeticus: In what kind of military can a billion dollar destroyer be threatened by some little speedboats?

See U.S.S. Cole, October 12, 2000, Port of Aden, Yemen. 17 sailors killed, 39 injured.

Basically, hon, any kind of military where a little speedboat can reach the side of a billion dollar destroyer.

But I don't see how this justifies a war that will cripple our economy within weeks. Let's face it, if gas prices go any higher we are farked so badly that Bush might actually be lynched by his fellow Republicans. He needs to realize that he won't get his war and if he thinks that he's going to sink the country just because his dick is too small, he's wrong.

Gyrfalcon: See U.S.S. Cole, October 12, 2000, Port of Aden, Yemen. 17 sailors killed, 39 injured. Basically, hon, any kind of military where a little speedboat can reach the side of a billion dollar destroyer.

I feel inclined to point out that the U.S.S Cole was in dock so no warning/protection systems would have be on. Unlike a war ship that is out to sea.

Larofeticus: In what kind of military can a billion dollar destroyer be threatened by some little speedboats?

In the kind of military that is forced to do everything -except- fight a war. Were we at war with Iran, those speedboats wouldn't make it within five miles of those warships.

However, since we're not, it's considered bad form to shoot at them, but the Navy's orders are to float there and look menacing... but the speedboats know they can't shoot except in self-defense.

I'm not saying we -should- be at war with Iran; I'm just saying why the speedboats can get close.

wxgeek: In the kind of military that is forced to do everything -except- fight a war. Were we at war with Iran, those speedboats wouldn't make it within five sixty nautical miles of those warships.

Harpoon FTW.



However, since we're not, it's considered bad form to shoot at them, but the Navy's orders are to float there and look menacing... but the speedboats know they can't shoot except in self-defense.

And, this.

Well I happen to know that naval rules of engagment call for a certain escalation of response to unknown threats. If an unidentified craft enters a certain perimeter, they send a radio message warning them to back of, if they get closer then a warning shot is fired to impact well in front of the craft, if they enter the last perimeter then they get sunk.

No warning shot was fired, which means there was no incident. Anyone who says otherwise is either ignorant or a liar with an agenda.

I bet they actually dumped Lite-Brites.

I say that we should hold Persepolis as a hostage until the Iranian government agrees to meet our demands funnier headlines, cheaper beer, and better Foobies submissions.

Who's with me?

No, the boxes contained the names of scientists who disagreed with the UN Climate Report.

mmm, Foobies. Persian Foobies.
Beeeeer....

Let's get him.

Craptastic: I say that we should hold Persepolis as a hostage until the Iranian government agrees to meet our demand

Given that I'm an apostate, I work for the government here, and my uncle is an anti-theocracy speaker in California, I don't think they'd want me back right now.

Or they would, but not to pat me on the back or anything.

So THAT's where the Ron Paul votes went.

You'll recall the whole Iran Ajr incident (and subsequent sinking of the Iranian Navy) following the mining of the USS Samuel B. Roberts. It wouldn't have been the first time an Iranian mine struck a US warship; why take chances and assume they were harmless from the onset?

Larofeticus: In what kind of military can a billion dollar destroyer be threatened by some little speedboats?

USS Cole? Damage can be done.

Are those the 2000 Military votes?

Larofeticus: In what kind of military can a billion dollar destroyer be threatened by some little speedboats?

The kind that Bush & Co. want to drag us into. You know, the one where the speed boats amount to nothing but the roadside bombs, suicide bombers, etc end up serving as a meatgrinder for our military once we wade ashore.

Further research has revealed that rules of engagement do not allow warships to fire upon ships approaching them unless or until they are first fired upon. This is a court-martial offense, and, had it been done in the case of the Cole would have prevented the deaths of 17 US sailors and caused the court-martial of whoever shot the Yemeni terrorists.

So, yeah, this is the kind of military we've got right now.

Comrade438: You'll recall the whole Iran Ajr incident (and subsequent sinking of the Iranian Navy) following the mining of the USS Samuel B. Roberts. It wouldn't have been the first time an Iranian mine struck a US warship; why take chances and assume they were harmless from the onset?

It wouldn't have been the first time Eastern corsairs plagued the seas. I'm told your National Anthem is partly based on it. "The shores of Tripoli, never forget"?

ndotseth: No, the boxes contained the names of scientists who disagreed with the UN Climate Report.

Ah, so they were empty.

Larofeticus: In what kind of military can a billion dollar destroyer be threatened by some little speedboats?

Plenty, when they're packed with C4:

Manic_Repressive: Harpoon FTW.

Let's see, using 2-5 million dollar missiles on boats worth thousands?

/guessing on the prices

Said it before, will say it again: don't taunt the dynamite monkey. Bush and the neocons desperately want to attack you already, Iran. We're trying everything we can to keep the peace, so don't turn around and fark us.

flexflint: Comrade438: You'll recall the whole Iran Ajr incident (and subsequent sinking of the Iranian Navy) following the mining of the USS Samuel B. Roberts. It wouldn't have been the first time an Iranian mine struck a US warship; why take chances and assume they were harmless from the onset?

It wouldn't have been the first time Eastern corsairs plagued the seas. I'm told your National Anthem is partly based on it. "The shores of Tripoli, never forget"?

it is actually from the war of 1812 as seen from baltimore harbor if i remember correctly

MonkeyVegetables F.S. Key seems to have had at least a draft in his pocket before that. From "The Middle East and the Making of the United States":

the anthem for which Americans rise at ballgames and other public occasions originally described "turbaned heads bowed" to the "brow of the brave" and "the star-spangled flag of our nation." Only after the Battle of Fort McHenry in the War of 1812 were the lyrics revised by their author, Francis Scott Key.

See here: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/news/05/11/michaelOren.html

Larofeticus: In what kind of military can a billion dollar destroyer be threatened by some little speedboats?

Alphax: Manic_Repressive: Harpoon FTW.

Let's see, using 2-5 million dollar missiles on boats worth thousands?

/guessing on the prices

Thats what the 5" or 3" gun is for.... Just can't wait till the navy gets a working railgun....

Swarming tactics can be effective basically you give the ships too many targets to worry about then you move in or fire a shore launched antiship missle. The versions that the Iranians have are ramjets that take as little as 20 seconds to strike a target.

They were possibly testing our reaction so they can better plan swarming attacks in the future, perhaps they deployed other assets that were not detected.

Stryyder: Swarming tactics can be effective basically you give the ships too many targets to worry about then you move in or fire a shore launched antiship missle. The versions that the Iranians have are ramjets that take as little as 20 seconds to strike a target.

They were possibly testing our reaction so they can better plan swarming attacks in the future, perhaps they deployed other assets that were not detected.

Are you saying Iranians were testing our defenses looking for a weak spot?