his ass must be really sore

Rectum?

Echo?

Ass -i- nine tag AWOL?

rectum? damn near killed em
/had to be done

He is the UPS of Up Your Ass.

Not amused.

golf clap for the subtle rectum reference subby! +1!

Can we get an NSFW^tm warning on headlines so, you know, I have a chance to not read them? I puckered and pinched a hole in my shorts just reading that one.

/NSFW = Not Safe For Wussies

Sorry guys--I just never posted a pic in the comments before so I tried it out. Thanks for your time. Vote Quimby!

FTFA:
"...we have them squat and cough. If they got good muscles, they'll hold it up there."


Cripes, I guess this guy could turn coal into diamonds.

skillett: rectum? damn near killed em
/had to be done

Oh, now I get it. Thank you.

spleen9

Yet, somehow, it was uncomfortably germane.

Wow, what a wheeler-dealer.

'Loads up his bunghole with stuff, empties the illicet load and profits.

'Prolly rents out the unused space in during idle times/layovers...uh, so to speak.

Sgt Oddball: FTFA:
"...we have them squat and cough. If they got good muscles, they'll hold it up there."


Cripes, I guess this guy could turn coal into diamonds.

There's a very vigorous rectal workout regimen in prison.

hellig777: He is the UPS of Up Your Ass.

What can brown do for you?

Relatively Obscure: Sgt Oddball: FTFA:
"...we have them squat and cough. If they got good muscles, they'll hold it up there."


Cripes, I guess this guy could turn coal into diamonds.

There's a very vigorous rectal workout regimen in prison.


Well, yeah, but he came through the damn *door* with a ripped rectum.


Erm... Maybe not the best choice of words, but you get my meaning.

When I was in county back in Ohio, a dude on work release would swallow weed in a baggy right before he came in and then gulp shampoo right in the cell and puke it up. I gave up 2 packs of smokes and 3 HUGE ass bags of cookies for a tiny joint and was happy to do it.


//true story

Can you hear me now?

Grudgingly approves.

shanrick: hellig777: He is the UPS of Up Your Ass.

What can brown do for you?

Winner.

Did he have any pennies up there?

Sgt Oddball: Well, yeah, but he came through the damn *door* with a ripped rectum.

Probably not the first time he's been through that door.

According to Stewart, drugs can be sold inside a jail facility at four times what they are worth outside a jail.
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Now we now what Step 2 is.

What else will he do in jail?

Relatively Obscure: There's a very vigorous rectal workout regimen in prison.

"8 Minute Ass"

they all do that.

when i had to serve weekends lots of dudes would bring in hash to smoke or whatever

HOOPING

is what the kids are calling it these days

Is that what they call "crack crack?" I guess he needed some extra money for vaseline during his stay...you know how hot and dry those desert jails can be, not to mention the sand.

This is so gross!

davynelson: they all do that.

when i had to serve weekends lots of dudes would bring in hash to smoke or whatever

HOOPING

is what the kids are calling it these days

When I worked in a prison, it was just called 'assing' there.

Puh-Lease, this terrorist guy got him beat from a few months back at the airport...

"Al-Maliki, a former security guard, told screeners that he knew what had triggered the alarm and proceeded to remove items from his rectum, including a rock, chewing gum and thin wire filament."

"Al-Maliki told investigators the objects have therapeutic properties, and that he had forgotten to remove them before reaching the security checkpoint. They were described as a magnet wrapped with a piece of gum in a napkin and then coiled with wire; and some kind of round, polished stone. "I believe we're about as confused as you until we finish the investigation," said Ethel McGuire, the assistant special agent in charge of the FBI's Los Angeles office."

Hitler scoffs at this pathetic achievement, chooses another pineapple.

assing, eh?

at least 'hooping' retains an air of mystery.

Hooping??

/will never look a Hoop Cheese the same way again...

Honest (maybe stupid?) question, I can understand inmates paying super-premium prices for drugs - but how do they obtain / carry money? Can they carry cash? Keep bank accounts? Is money smuggled contraband just like the drugs?

I know at least in some prisons, inmates earn slave wages for their work, which they use to buy toiletries and such, but where's the big drug dough come from?

Anyone who saw Johnny Depp in Before Night Falls is yawning about now. This stuff is chump change.

CableGuy316: Is money smuggled contraband just like the drugs?

Yes.

No wonder these pills taste like ass.

Andy Reid's son unavailable for comment.

Relatively Obscure: CableGuy316: Is money smuggled contraband just like the drugs?

Yes.

The money in your wallet used to be in a colon. Yum.
/wash your hands, kids!
//rare moment when I'm glad to be a broke student

oldebayer: Anyone who saw Johnny Depp in Before Night Falls is yawning about now. This stuff is chump change.

I will never look at Johnny Depp the same way again. (Never saw that one)

shiat, I just got out of county, and while there was no weed to be had, there was a nice little black market/gambling system going on involving Raman noodles, Cheezeits, and instant coffee. One of my cell mates was down 15 soups. Guy didn't know when to hold 'em, apparently.

shipofthesun: while there was no weed to be had

I refuse to believe this.

shipofthesun: there was a nice little black market/gambling system going on involving Raman noodles, Cheezeits, and instant coffee.

That I believe.

overlord: Did he have any pennies up there?

"I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years! That's 3,000 pennies a day; 21,000 pennies a week; 1,092,000 pennies a year! To date that's 12,012,000 pennies, 8 times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies everyday. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with."

shipofthesun: shiat, I just got out of county, and while there was no weed to be had, there was a nice little black market/gambling system going on involving Raman noodles, Cheezeits, and instant coffee. One of my cell mates was down 15 soups. Guy didn't know when to hold 'em, apparently.

That's a shanking.

rainstorm: That's a shanking.

nah, as long as you pay up, no problems.

Wow, what a pharm-ass-y.

It's a bunghole, not a pharmacy.

(things my gf is cracking up after saying)

+ hellig777 -- "He is the UPS of Up Your Ass"

And when he pulled his shiat out his ass he probably did say "what can brown do for you?"

Did anyone else read "Pima County" as "Pmita County"?

/ Anyone?

Comments not worth reading, but headlines are getting better round here.

I'm no expert on the culture of sticking things in my ass, or anyone else's for that matter, but I imagine implanting a syringe in your rectum is just asking for trouble

matt4684: I'm no expert on the culture of sticking things in my ass, or anyone else's for that matter, but I imagine implanting a syringe in your rectum is just asking for trouble

I've seen a loaded .38 up in one.