A rousing endorsement if I've ever heard one.

He is such a self righteous shiathead.

Sorry, Lars, but because of your band's douchebaggery over the past few years, I won't be buying any more of your albums. Plus, you guys suck since the sobriety wagon parked in your barn.

Last album I bought was S&M. Actually enjoyed the orchestrated classics. However, I agree with jazzmajora that their shennanigans within the past couple of years has really forced me to ignore them as much as possible.

Oh well, plenty of other bands that dare I say not only sound better, but don't care the same self-righteous attitude ksparrothd pointed out.

Care = carry

Must...have...more....coffee.

Every time I hear him speak, I giggle like a schoolgirl.

I liked St. Anger a lot more than the "Loads".

"Some Kind of Monster" completely ruined Metallica for me. What a bunch of pussies.

Cue "unlikely" tag.

At this point, I'll beleive it when I hear it.

Lars Ulrich says the new Metallica album is not as "one-dimensional" as "St. Anger"

"shiatty" isn't a dimension I ever heard of...

In other news, Metallica has begun to sue makers of straight lines because they claim they invented one-dimensional.

Maybe Rubin will actually take the time to set up the microphones so the drums don't sound like tin cans. That's old school.

On the other hand, it's not quite two-dimensional, so it's probably a fractal

So it will both suck AND blow?

jazzmajora: Sorry, Lars, but because of your band's douchebaggery over the past few years, I won't be buying any more of your albums

QFT

tbmd96: Maybe Rubin will actually take the time to set up the microphones so the drums don't sound like tin cans. That's old school.

I'm tired of the Cult of Rick Rubin. Yeah, it's easy for every record you produce to go multi-platinum when you only work with artists who already go multi-platinum anyway.

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure Lars Ulrich! You may remember me from such skank albums as Load and Reload."

jake_lex: tbmd96: Maybe Rubin will actually take the time to set up the microphones so the drums don't sound like tin cans. That's old school.

I'm tired of the Cult of Rick Rubin. Yeah, it's easy for every record you produce to go multi-platinum when you only work with artists who already go multi-platinum anyway.

This. He produced the first Black Crowes record and - when he wasn't satisfied with it - had his name taken off of it. Then, when it became a huge success, guess what he wanted to do?

Hopefully it won't sound like it was recorded in a regrigerator box this time.

I like Metallica's music a lot, but one-dimensional is pretty much what their music IS. I mean, even someone who's never heard their music knows that at most it's two-dimensional. Everyone and their brother knows that Metallica has no depth.

But will you be able to dance the Texas 12-step to it like Some Kind of Monster?

Metallica has been dead to me for at least a decade.

Dear Lars,

I look forward to downloading your album for free.

Suck it,
icallhimgamblor

goletaal

This. He produced the first Black Crowes record and - when he wasn't satisfied with it - had his name taken off of it. Then, when it became a huge success, guess what he wanted to do?

I think you mean the "Kobb Kounty Krows."

- R

Kome: I like Metallica's music a lot, but one-dimensional is pretty much what their music IS. I mean, even someone who's never heard their music knows that at most it's two-dimensional. Everyone and their brother knows that Metallica has no depth.

Oh come on. Poo is 3 dimensional. Since their new music is poo, that means it is 3 dimensional. Give credit where credit is due.

Lars Ulrich says the new Metallica album is not as "one-dimensional" as "St. Anger." Still no cure for lame alternating kick/snare quarter note beats.

FTFY


/lars sucks

... Considering this band has not done anything whortwhile since the 80's.

/so take your fail kit and drum me up a sad solo like i care

Metallica died with Cliff Burton

Hah, they are still making music?

I remember seeing a clip of them sitting down to write a new song. It was like a bunch of 15 year old kids in their parents garage doing bong riffs and thinking of the most trite lyrics possible.
Sadly, they were dead sober and being serious.

I'm really hoping no one buys their album, like the entire shipment sitting in a warehouse no one.

jazzmajora: Sorry, Lars, but because of your band's douchebaggery over the past few years, I won't be buying any more of your albums. Plus, you guys suck since the sobriety wagon parked in your barn.

Ill be downloading mine

Dear Metallica,

Your new album will suck. Your old albums suck. Lars Ulrich sucks.

Thank you,
flecsrogar.

PS> End your miserable lives now, before you embarass(Sp?) yourselves
PSS> Too late.

Less one-dimensional? Wow it looks like they're going back to their roots of the black album.

/joking
//won't listen to anything after justice

The only thing that would improve Metallica is a time machine.

That is not the portrait of talent. That is the picture of complacent people, drained of any potential, nothing to prove anymore, ready to retire.

/die Already lars.

So they'll use other instruments as opposed to just banging pots and pans?

Oh yes, they'll be branching out and exploring new musical frontiers, while retaining the essential Metallica-ness we've come to know and love.

So, as expected, the new album will suck, but it will also blow.

I'm excited.

Issue: They say this kind of thing with EVERY album they put out.

I'll be on my way, relatively quietly, clutching my pre-90s albums.

Here's my impression of Lars Ulrich:

"Do you even know the magnitutde of the importance of the words that are coming out of my mouth right now?!!"

Dear Metallica,

Thanks for everything up to the Black album, and for not sucking ass gravy on S&M. I look forward to not even bothering to illegally download your new album.

DIAF,
Simia Saturnalia

Lars Ulrich says the new Metallica album is not as "one-dimensional" as my personality.

FTFY Lars

Go Go Chinchilla!: Sorry, Lars, but Metallica jumped the shark with the St. Anger release. The production was so shiatty that I thought the CD was defective, and insisted on returning it.

Lol, I think they jumped the shark a lot earlier than that. St. Anger was just another entry into the increasinly mediocre pool of Metallica music. Every album after puppets has gotten a little bit worse until we are here in the present and they suck ass.

"the decade that begins with an '8.'", eh Lars? The smug is strong with this one.

A NEW METALLICA CD?!

Thank God I still have all my good ol' Buckethead Cds. What would I ever do without good music?

for good or for awesome: The only thing that would improve Metallica is a time machine.



/it's as close as we'll get.

Go Go Chinchilla!: for good or for awesome: The only thing that would improve Metallica is a time machine.

If Cliff Burton saw what Metallica has become, he'd throw himself under a bus. Metallica has strayed so far from its roots that it wouldn't recognize heavy metal if it fell from the sky and crushed them.


agrees.

in other news, crapping on your previous release that you hyped up at the time makes people wonder why they should listen to your hype this time around.

/buy my snake oil, said the moose diarrhea salesman

I wouldn't even bother to pirate Saint Anger or this one.

Barry McCackiner: Go Go Chinchilla!: Sorry, Lars, but Metallica jumped the shark with the St. Anger release. The production was so shiatty that I thought the CD was defective, and insisted on returning it.

Lol, I think they jumped the shark a lot earlier than that. St. Anger was just another entry into the increasinly mediocre pool of Metallica music. Every album after puppets has gotten a little bit worse until we are here in the present and they suck ass.

well, 'and justice' was pretty badass

pxlboy: well, 'and justice' was pretty badass

I happen to like justice and the black album, that is why I put the 'little bit worse' clause into my statement. They don't match up to puppets or ride the lightning, or even most of kill em all. But justice is not as good as puppets and I feel like all the albums have just been slowly getting worse. Load had a few songs that were pretty good, even Reload had some OK songs. But St. Anger was a stinker on all levels, lol.

No one remembers how shiatty the production on 'Justice' was then? I actually liked parts of the rawness of St.Anger, but felt it would have made a pretty cool EP, not a whole, overblown album. No one can listen to those drums for that long, but in a short blast it would have been fine.

/not really a metal fan