Dante is not amused.

Once again, Newburgh stakes its claim as the Florida tag of New York.

FTFA:
The merchandise the man allegedly shoplifted totaled $132.07.

fta:

The Poughkeepsie Journal typically does not print the names of those charged with misdemeanors.

i, on the other hand ...

The only thing Michael Anthony Scott, 43, of Cornwall told Newburgh City Police when they caught him trying to walk out of a store with merchandise, was "you got me."

/don't tase me bro!

Family Dollar =! Dollar Store

Link (new window)

It's a discount store, not a dollar store, subby.

It's lam, subby.

42 different items valued at $143. Maybe multiple items of same product?

yeah, the whole "family dollar" is not a dollar store thing.

Neither is Dollar General. You know, just in case it comes up.

Move along... Nothing to see he--

Hmm.. No, I take that back. Is anyone else massively distracted by the L.A.Ink adverts on the main page?

This man approves.

Who the heck shoplifts at a thrift store?

Does he sneak into the dollar movies, too?

Would he carjack a banged-up Kia Sephia?

The items included body wash, soap, shampoo, candy, milk, a nail clipper, a hair claw, a lighter, a package of socks and pajamas.

What's a hair claw?

The Poughkeepsie Journal typically does not print the names of those charged with misdemeanors.

but how are we going to look up his myspace??

did someone say hare claw?

At least he didn't have get all dressed like you do when you go to Wal-Mart.

I still can't figure out who opens up a Dollar Tree or the like. Do those stores just make money hand over fist or something?

idrow: What's a hair claw?

Bacontastesgood: Who the heck shoplifts at a thrift store?

Does he sneak into the dollar movies, too?

Would he carjack a banged-up Kia Sephia?

That's funny to me because my aunt drives one of those and even though it's not banged up, I certainly wouldn't steal it even if it was left with the doors open, the keys in the ignition, the engine running and with a big sign that says "FREE KIA SEPHIA" on it.

Those things aren't just crappy, they're farking death traps.

T-Luv: did someone say hare claw?

Furries? On Fark!?


Quick, kill it. Kill it with fire.

T-Luv: did someone say hare claw?

All my friends call me Bear Claw.

idrow: What's a hair claw?



I'll get you next time, Gadget... Next time!

Chastain86: I still can't figure out who opens up a Dollar Tree or the like. Do those stores just make money hand over fist or something?

They probably have one of the highest profit margins in retail. I can't recall ever seeing one close. I love them.

Only $143? He should've gone for the high-priced items, like giant blocks of cheese, hams, caviar, and he should've grabbed at least one of the in-store bonuses (take extra time but usually well worth it).

Assuming 7% sales tax...

43 items * $1.07 = $46.01
$132.07 / $1.07 = 123 items

hmmm

Grotesk: Move along... Nothing to see he--

Hmm.. No, I take that back. Is anyone else massively distracted by the L.A.Ink adverts on the main page?

I, for one, am. I didn't know there was a new season, I just went and set up my DVR to record it. Today, Fark did more than just provide entertainment. It informed me of something else entertaining I can watch. Or something like that...

Gulper Eel: Once again, Newburgh stakes its claim as the Florida tag of New York.

As opposed to Florida, New York. Seriously though I thought that honor went to Walden.

idrow: The items included body wash, soap, shampoo, candy, milk, a nail clipper, a hair claw, a lighter, a package of socks and pajamas.

What's a hair claw?

Its a rabbit's foot without the good luck.

I work as a price-checker for a Dollar Store so I am getting a real kick out of these replies.

What, the number 42 is in the headline and no "Hitchhiker's Guide" references yet?

Fark, you disappoint me.

Qbawl: As opposed to Florida, New York. Seriously though I thought that honor went to Walden.

Walden's only 15 minutes out of Newburgh.

james_bong: Grotesk: Move along... Nothing to see he--

Hmm.. No, I take that back. Is anyone else massively distracted by the L.A.Ink adverts on the main page?

I, for one, am. I didn't know there was a new season, I just went and set up my DVR to record it. Today, Fark did more than just provide entertainment. It informed me of something else entertaining I can watch. Or something like that...

Is there nothing FARK can't do?

/That Kat Von D shore gotta purty...
//Mouth

Grotesk:

I don't normally go for the heavily tattooed girls like that, but something about her really gets me going. And the other girl from the show, Pixie. She is smokin hot as well.

TwistedFark Those things aren't just crappy, they're farking death traps.

Yeah, they're in the category of so bad that it's inconceivable how someone would think they are getting a deal by buying one.
If they cost like $2000 brand new, maybe I could understand, but why pay 3/4 the price of a good car for a total shiat one?

KelvinTheClown: idrow: What's a hair claw?

I'll get you next time, Gadget... Next time!

Does anybody else think that The Chief was Dr. Claw's alter ego? Think about it:
1) At the end of the episode, Dr. Claw narrowly escapes in his flying thing, THEN we see the chief come up to congratulate Gadget.
2) The exploding letters. That's the quick and easy way to get Gadget out of the picture, but on some subconscious level Gadget knows it, so he always "accidentally" blows up the Chief instead.

You may ask why The Chief always assigns Gadget to foil Dr. Claw... why not just put him on traffic duty? Keep in mind that all of Dr. Claw's plots are really an elaborate trap to get Gadget out of the way for good. His role as Chief is vital to make sure Gadget actually ends up in the trap.

/ I know, the toy and video game both contradict my theory, but I don't consider them canonical.

neocssck: Assuming 7% sales tax...

43 items * $1.07 = $46.01
$132.07 / $1.07 = 123 items

hmmm

Why does the guys age have anything to do with it?

43 years old and 42 items.


/Oh wait...are you subby?

Is there so little crime that local newspapers are reporting on crap like this?

Maybe so. Where I live, we have our all time lowest homicide rate (after steady rises during the gang years - apparently they're all tuckered out).

MusicMakeMyHeadPound:
Walden's only 15 minutes out of Newburgh.

And Florida is only 30 minutes out. Having spent too much time in both I'd call it a tie.

What's 10 Ft. Long and has 4 teeth?
The line at the Thruway Market (also works with Playtogs)

pfelon: Only $143? He should've gone for the high-priced items, like giant blocks of cheese, hams, caviar, and he should've grabbed at least one of the in-store bonuses (take extra time but usually well worth it).

May you burn in HELL for making me remember that show, my GF at the time loved it. I need booze now.

TwistedFark: That's funny to me because my aunt drives one of those and even though it's not banged up, I certainly wouldn't steal it even if it was left with the doors open, the keys in the ignition, the engine running and with a big sign that says "FREE KIA SEPHIA" on it.

Those things aren't just crappy, they're farking death traps.

Interesting you should say that. We're on our third. Outlived the Fords, and well, my two teens played demo derby with them (no injuries - NO injuries). Brakes well, handles well and neither car has ever needed more than routine service. Routine here means an oil change once a year. We still have two of them. One has 175,000 miles on it, and about every month or so, someone stops and begs to buy it.

It's the only car I managed to sell on the street for more than low blue book value. Some dude bought our first one, banged up as hell, with 155,000 miles on it, for $3000. No idea why. He was a car dealer, though.

Oh, and they average around 33 mpg.

Insurance company seems to agree with me about their safety as well.

he should have shopped(lifted) at the 99 cent only store---a lot more value for the money.

Family Dollar is not a dollar store. It's a department store for people who think Wal-Mart is an upscale indulgence reserved for special occasions. Needless to say, it's a scary place.

Rearden: Family Dollar is not a dollar store. It's a department store for people who think Wal-Mart is an upscale indulgence reserved for special occasions. Needless to say, it's a scary place.

Yeesh, I thought with all these replies I was going to have to be the one to say it. But, yea, THIS.

I was in there a couple times and it seems like dollar store items at department store prices. So it's like a dollar store for suckers.

I suspect the stupid tag was referencing the submitter in this case.

DreamWeaver: FTFA:
The merchandise the man allegedly shoplifted totaled $132.07.

Arithmetically challenged. Kinda a clever headline except apparently no one who read the article got it. Arithmetically challenged people. He put down a different NUMBER than what was from the article. Please tell me im not the only one who got that simple joke.

slideaway: DreamWeaver: FTFA:
The merchandise the man allegedly shoplifted totaled $132.07.

Arithmetically challenged. Kinda a clever headline except apparently no one who read the article got it. Arithmetically challenged people. He put down a different NUMBER than what was from the article. Please tell me im not the only one who got that simple joke.

that's not the joke. The joke was it wasn't 132 items for $132, cause he thought family dollar was a dollar store, when, in fact, it is not.

This sounds like a job done by Cheapo, the Discount Villain!

(One night at the $0.89 store)

Cheapo: Attention, shoppers! This is a robbery! Cover me while I help myself to a little five-fingered discount! I'll take this box of wine. Shampoo? Don't mind if I do. Tell 'em, CHEAPO was here! WHAH-HAHAHAHAHA!

/obscure?
//nah, nothing's obscure on Fark
///hates that cliche more than the ol' rickroll

gimmedaloot: Family Dollar =! Dollar Store



It's a discount store, not a dollar store, subby.

What I really want to know is, what were the odds of the photographer being there at the right moment and having the reflexes to capture this moment so perfectly? Though it does kinda have that fuzzy TV quality to it, either way I'm impressed.

Atypical Person Reading Fark: TwistedFark: That's funny to me because my aunt drives one of those and even though it's not banged up, I certainly wouldn't steal it even if it was left with the doors open, the keys in the ignition, the engine running and with a big sign that says "FREE KIA SEPHIA" on it.

Those things aren't just crappy, they're farking death traps.

Interesting you should say that. We're on our third. Outlived the Fords, and well, my two teens played demo derby with them (no injuries - NO injuries). Brakes well, handles well and neither car has ever needed more than routine service. Routine here means an oil change once a year. We still have two of them. One has 175,000 miles on it, and about every month or so, someone stops and begs to buy it.

It's the only car I managed to sell on the street for more than low blue book value. Some dude bought our first one, banged up as hell, with 155,000 miles on it, for $3000. No idea why. He was a car dealer, though.

Oh, and they average around 33 mpg.

Insurance company seems to agree with me about their safety as well.
---------------------
The Kia Sephia is one of those cars that gets an undeserved bad rap. It was available new for less than $9,000, and was, by nature, a car that was mostly purchased by people who HAD to have a new car, but couldn't really afford one. And people in that bracket tend to not do maintenance. The 98-04 Kia Sephia/ Spectra had essentially the same engine and transmission as the 1990-1994 Mazda Protege. Anyone who ever had one of those knows that they last for farking ever. That's one of the way Kia kept its costs down- they licensed a proven engine design that Mazda wasn't going to use anymore. Unfortunately, most purchasers of Sephias abused them by never changing the oil, etc. So, they didn't last all that long. Those who actually do the stuff you're supposed to are finding that they easily hit 200,000 miles or more. This stuff applies to most cars in the "dirt cheap" class- most folks who buy them don't have the money to maintain them, so they don't last as long. The only REAL exception was the original Hyundai Excel. Now THAT was a shiatbox. It had an engine design that was licensed from Mitsubishi... but it wasn't one of Mitsubishi's better designs, either, and even Mitsubishi's best is pretty bad. Combine that with the demographic that was in the market for cars that cost $3,500 new (in 1986), and you find that very few of them made it past 60-70k miles.

As for the Sephia being a deathtrap... in crash testing, they didn't do all that hot. However, there's a bunch of cars that did much worse than the Sephia. And current Kia models are doing REALLY well. The Sedona is the currently the top- rated minivan for crashworthiness.

Oh, and Family Dollar is most certainly not a dollar store. And they DON'T have very good deals, either. Like someone said above: mostly dollar store merchandise at higher prices. Some of the best dollar stuff, on the other hand, can be found in the "See Spot Save" corral in the entrance of Target stores. There's actually some decent stuff in there.

slideaway: DreamWeaver: FTFA:
The merchandise the man allegedly shoplifted totaled $132.07.

Arithmetically challenged. Kinda a clever headline except apparently no one who read the article got it. Arithmetically challenged people. He put down a different NUMBER than what was from the article. Please tell me im not the only one who got that simple joke.

... Sales tax...
/7%

gimmedaloot: Family Dollar =! Dollar Store

Link (new window)

It's a discount store, not a dollar store, subby.

I propose counterfail for having such an intimate knowledge of dollar/bargain stores.