i hope to god he tries to strike my house.

i'd be more than willing to go to jail for the rest of my life for the chance to castrate him, eat his balls, rape his kids right in front of him, make him drink draino, shove molten hot metal in his asshole, stuff his cock down his throat, and finally hit him so many times in the head with a titanium big-bertha driver that all you could see of him was a pile of brain and skull pieces.

i dare the motherfarker, i really do.

This guy is good- He needs to quit while he's ahead. It won't happen, of course. This guy is going to get his head blown off.

milesdavishatesu: i hope to god he tries to strike my house.

i'd be more than willing to go to jail for the rest of my life for the chance to castrate him, eat his balls, rape his kids right in front of him, make him drink draino, shove molten hot metal in his asshole, stuff his cock down his throat, and finally hit him so many times in the head with a titanium big-bertha driver that all you could see of him was a pile of brain and skull pieces.

i dare the motherfarker, i really do.



I bet you's sneak up on him, you stealthy mohterfarker.

spelling sucks

you're right. gimmerdaloot. he's struck in my neighborhood several times, and even struck the home of a guy I used to work with, but i should keep my mouth shut and act like a scared little pussy about it.

thanks for pointing out that I made racist comments, claimed to master a martial art(s), and mocked homosexuals. i didn't know i did that, but you found evidence, i guess.

i wish you were here in the flesh, so i could give you a round of applause.

milesdavishatesu: you're right. gimmerdaloot. he's struck in my neighborhood several times, and even struck the home of a guy I used to work with, but i should keep my mouth shut and act like a scared little pussy about it.

thanks for pointing out that I made racist comments, claimed to master a martial art(s), and mocked homosexuals. i didn't know i did that, but you found evidence, i guess.

i wish you were here in the flesh, so i could give you a round of applause.

Wow, first day on FARK?

LOL Ok, you're sitting here telling us how you'd gladly serve a life term for brutally murdering someone, sexually assaulting them (including grabbing, cutting off, and forcing his penis into his mouth), eat his testicles, rape his kid, etc. I'm calling shenanigans.

"NinjaBandit" on Staten Island?

More likely its "Guido The Jiujitsu Nerd".....

/From NJ, married to an SI'er, so I know.

Has anyone told the NYPD that they have to go after the Ninja Bandit with at least 10 Chi, or else he disappears?

milesdavishatesu: you're right. gimmerdaloot. he's struck in my neighborhood several times, and even struck the home of a guy I used to work with, but i should keep my mouth shut and act like a scared little pussy about it.

thanks for pointing out that I made racist comments, claimed to master a martial art(s), and mocked homosexuals. i didn't know i did that, but you found evidence, i guess.

i wish you were here in the flesh, so i could give you a round of applause.

Lighten up, Francis.

milesdavishatesu: you're right. gimmerdaloot. he's struck in my neighborhood several times, and even struck the home of a guy I used to work with, but i should keep my mouth shut and act like a scared little pussy about it.

thanks for pointing out that I made racist comments, claimed to master a martial art(s), and mocked homosexuals. i didn't know i did that, but you found evidence, i guess.

i wish you were here in the flesh, so i could give you a round of applause.

Good thing you're not acting scared and standing up. He was online just now checking the forums to make sure that he had successfully terrified posters from those neighborhoods. You showed that bastard!

Stop acting like a self-righteous douche. It's the internet. LIGHTEN UP.

meanwhile

The Pirates have six victories this season after just 13 games.

/beats me, i just looked for a pirate article, and that line struck me as funny
//back to your ninja thread

milesdavishatesu: you're right. gimmerdaloot. he's struck in my neighborhood several times, and even struck the home of a guy I used to work with, but i should keep my mouth shut and act like a scared little pussy about it.

thanks for pointing out that I made racist comments, claimed to master a martial art(s), and mocked homosexuals. i didn't know i did that, but you found evidence, i guess.

i wish you were here in the flesh, so i could give you a round of applause.

Oh, and your band linked in your profile sucks big time. Did someone cut your balls off or something? That first track should be the theme song for Queer Eye or something

milesdavishatesu: i hope to god he tries to strike my house.

i'd be more than willing to go to jail for the rest of my life for the chance to castrate him, eat his balls, rape his kids right in front of him, make him drink draino, shove molten hot metal in his asshole, stuff his cock down his throat, and finally hit him so many times in the head with a titanium big-bertha driver that all you could see of him was a pile of brain and skull pieces.

i dare the motherfarker, i really do.

So is this the thread where we make fun of you?

milesdavishatesu: i dare the motherfarker, i really do.

Bait him, then. Leave your door wide open with all of your valuables in sight. Have fun and good luck. Chances are, the ninja is a farker. Hell, they may have submitted the thread.

milesdavishatesu: for the chance to castrate him, eat his balls, rape his kids right in front of him, make him drink draino, shove molten hot metal in his asshole, stuff his cock down his throat

What if "the Ninja" is a girl?

Wanted for Questioning.

Kiribub, take that to Hollywood. It's a MONSTER, baby! A MONSTER!

Ninja Warrior is better than Ask A Ninja

It's not like ask a ninja starts out with 100 questions and whittles it down to 2 final questions, only to have them both fail at rope climb.

Go ninja, go ninja, go!

milesdavishatesu: i hope to god he tries to strike my house.

i'd be more than willing to go to jail for the rest of my life for the chance to castrate him, eat his balls, rape his kids right in front of him, make him drink draino, shove molten hot metal in his asshole, stuff his cock down his throat, and finally hit him so many times in the head with a titanium big-bertha driver that all you could see of him was a pile of brain and skull pieces.

i dare the motherfarker, i really do.


Why don't you post your address then?
Maybe you will get your wish

Ok, we have a supervillan, now when do we get to see some guy go all Blankman on his ass?

Kiribub: milesdavishatesu: for the chance to castrate him, eat his balls, rape his kids right in front of him, make him drink draino, shove molten hot metal in his asshole, stuff his cock down his throat

What if "the Ninja" is a girl?

I'm still wondering why this ninja would bring his/her kids along to toughguy's house... Is this a five minute troll, or the full half-hour?

better a ninja bandit than a time bandit...



if he was carting along these guys, imagine the hilarity that would ensue...

not to mention be nabbed halfway through their first heist.

i smell a sequel..

i live on staten island and have debated dressing up as a pirate and robbing family members, how can we let a ninja go 19 and 0

I'm a Ninja pirate and really getting a kick out of these replies...

I just came in here to say I hope that he decides to rob the home of a pirate and somehow the encounter is caught on tape.

Finally, a chance to solve the Ninja vs. Pirate debate once and for all.

Strange how Mr. Homoerotic tough guy hasn't come back to this thread. His post is easily the most unintentionally homosexual thing I have read all week.

milesdavishatesu

All those years of huffing garbage dump fumes and seagull poo would make me an angry tough guy too!

Doesn't anyone realize that when you give wastes of lives like these a title, such as 'ninja bandit' or 'terrorist', it only gives them something to live up to. Inflates their ego, see? These wastes only need one title shared among them... 'Useless'. Some useless person broke into a house. Some useless person blew something up. How can anyone live up to 'Useless'?

I made the mistake of listening to parts of milesdavishatesu tracks in his profile...

A gay Joni Mitchell and I want my 3 minutes of life back...

20 burglaries would definitely be bragable.

gimmedaloot:

I bet you's sneak up on him, you stealthy mohterfarker.

I've never seen Internet Tough Guy posted in record time. Only ninjas practice such great post-fu.

quadropheniac:
Stop acting like a self-righteous douche. It's the internet. LIGHTEN UP.

Ok ok real story. While doing a stint at a Veteran's clinic, one black army guy complained that his newly-made Veterans ID card made him appear so dark that he was unrecognizeable in the photo. He was very angry when told he'd have to come back another day for a new photo so he unleashed his verbal fury on the receptionists. I'll let you guess what my witty coworker replied.

In other news, someone still has a set of nunchucks.

/dude, the 70's are o.v.e.r.

milesdavishatesu: i'd be more than willing to go to jail for the rest of my life for the chance to castrate him, eat his balls, rape his kids right in front of him, make him drink draino, shove molten hot metal in his asshole...

If you want to fantasize about eating some guy's balls and shoving things up his ass I think the internet forums associated with "Out" magazine would be more "up your alley", so to speak.

milesdavishatesu: i hope to god he tries to strike my house.

i'd be more than willing to go to jail for the rest of my life for the chance to castrate him, eat his balls, rape his kids right in front of him, make him drink draino, shove molten hot metal in his asshole, stuff his cock down his throat, and finally hit him so many times in the head with a titanium big-bertha driver that all you could see of him was a pile of brain and skull pieces.

i dare the motherfarker, i really do.

Post your address, biatch.

Sumo Surfer: I'll let you guess what my witty coworker replied.

"Come back tomorrow?"

If he was a real ninja, they'd never seen him.

Sumo Surfer:
I'll let you guess what my witty coworker replied.

HA!

lsc78

milesdavishatesu: i hope to god he tries to strike my house.

i'd be more than willing to go to jail for the rest of my life for the chance to castrate him, eat his balls, rape his kids right in front of him, make him drink draino, shove molten hot metal in his asshole, stuff his cock down his throat, and finally hit him so many times in the head with a titanium big-bertha driver that all you could see of him was a pile of brain and skull pieces.

i dare the motherfarker, i really do.

Post your address, biatch.

Nah...I think he much prefers if a nimble hooded male "sneaks up" on him from behind.

That looks like a wildly stupid film.

milesdavishatesu: you're right. gimmerdaloot. he's struck in my neighborhood several times, and even struck the home of a guy I used to work with, but i should keep my mouth shut and act like a scared little pussy about it.

thanks for pointing out that I made racist comments, claimed to master a martial art(s), and mocked homosexuals. i didn't know i did that, but you found evidence, i guess.

i wish you were here in the flesh, so i could give you a round of applause.

You're dumb.

/prefer the minimalist approach

shanrick: milesdavishatesu: you're right. gimmerdaloot. he's struck in my neighborhood several times, and even struck the home of a guy I used to work with, but i should keep my mouth shut and act like a scared little pussy about it.

thanks for pointing out that I made racist comments, claimed to master a martial art(s), and mocked homosexuals. i didn't know i did that, but you found evidence, i guess.

i wish you were here in the flesh, so i could give you a round of applause.

Lighten up, Francis.

This guy isn't a REAL ninja, of course. If the bandit WAS a ninja this wouldn't have happened:

FTFA: The "Ninja Bandit" was so named after a homeowner said the intruder wielded a set of nunchucks when they scuffled in the homeowner's kitchen in September.

A REAL ninja wouldn't have been seen by a slovenly Staten Island homeowner. And a REAL ninja wouldn't leave witnesses.

Standards today! I mean they should have checked his Ninja Union card. Wearing black and carrying nunchucks alone doesn't make one a Ninja^TM

Kiribub: That looks like a wildly stupid film.

Have you really never seen Time Bandits?

/will get all internet tough guy on you for your blasphemy

DundieAwardWinner: Have you really never seen Time Bandits?

Owie. Did I post that in the wrong thread? Okay, in the interest of smoothing things out:

A. "Time Bandits" is an awesome film.
B. That post was meant for the NFL thread, regarding "Cloverfield."
C. "The Office" rules.

Kiribub: DundieAwardWinner: Have you really never seen Time Bandits?

Owie. Did I post that in the wrong thread? Okay, in the interest of smoothing things out:

A. "Time Bandits" is an awesome film.
B. That post was meant for the NFL thread, regarding "Cloverfield."
C. "The Office" rules.

I accept your smoothing over of things. You are no longer blaphemous.

DundieAwardWinner: Kiribub: DundieAwardWinner: Have you really never seen Time Bandits?

Owie. Did I post that in the wrong thread? Okay, in the interest of smoothing things out:

A. "Time Bandits" is an awesome film.
B. That post was meant for the NFL thread, regarding "Cloverfield."
C. "The Office" rules.

I accept your smoothing over of things. You are no longer blaphemous.

BlaSphemous...dammit, I swear I pressed the "s" key...

This thread got Clintoned in the Boobies and has gone down hill since.

Bravo!

The thief apparently got in through a sliding door and left with thousands of dollars worth of jewelry.

Some ninja.

Dellirium: I made the mistake of listening to parts of milesdavishatesu tracks in his profile...

A gay Joni Mitchell and I want my 3 minutes of life back...

So Eli lied when she said "A very credible band with a chill, unique sound." ?

I can't believe Bobby of all people would lie: "This is an amazing CD. I am a cock who rarely gives applause...but this is the CD that will make your day."