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(Hartford Courant) Obvious You didn't really need that Nose Hair Trimmomatic 5000 afterall   (courant.com) divider line 87
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Nerdlinger 2008-01-06 09:00:29 AM  
True. I prefer to pluck.

 
wildcardjack 2008-01-06 10:16:33 AM  
FTA "and those weird-looking gloves that peel potatoes actually did the trick"

So would a quick blanching and a tea towel.

/Thanks Alton Brown

 
fappomatic 2008-01-06 10:19:27 AM  
No way could I pluck. I'd likely yank too hard and end-up holding my cerebellum or tonsils.

/jeebus dude...I yanked once and I swear the root was attaced to my a$$. That shiat hurt

 
CruJones 2008-01-06 10:19:34 AM  
Nerdlinger: True. I prefer to pluck.

screw that. Plucking results in inside-the-nose zits, which hurt like a mother.

Apparently I tunred 30 and my nose hair doubled it's growth. Plus, have of them are grey and thicker.

/also heard the yayo makes them grow faster

 
AnnoyingKidNextDoor 2008-01-06 10:19:43 AM  
You didn't really need that Nose Hair Trimmomatic 5000 afterall

And you really didn't need that space bar after all subby. FAIL

 
A0Z 2008-01-06 10:19:51 AM  
Ooo! Oooo! Weeners!!!!

(dang!)

 
WzDD 2008-01-06 10:21:40 AM  
"Related news from the Web: potatoes, life, holidays, New Years Day/Eve, Fruits".

What?

 
Crosshair [TotalFark] 2008-01-06 10:22:51 AM  
CruJones: screw that. Plucking results in inside-the-nose zits, which hurt like a mother.

Damm straight, I just use a finger nail scissors and a small flashlight. No pain and it works well enough for me. Though I don't have that many nose hairs to trim anyway, unless they poke out or make my nose itch I leave them alone.

 
the old crow 2008-01-06 10:24:17 AM  
Evidently you haven't met my husband.
(I'm gay!)

 
CruJones 2008-01-06 10:24:30 AM  
glad someone else has experienced the inside-the-nose-zit. Most painful things ever. And most people just look at you funny and say they've never had one.

 
idrow 2008-01-06 10:28:57 AM  
farm3.static.flickr.com
Okay, I'll throw in a fourth bottle, the applicator glove, and a
state of Kansas jell-o mold. $29.95!

 
NHmike 2008-01-06 10:30:51 AM  
I used to laugh at my grandfather because of his nose and ear hair. Now that I'm over 40, I realize that shiat ain't funny. Thanks grandpa, you hairy bastard.

 
Johny McStabbs 2008-01-06 10:31:10 AM  
phukitol: AnnoyingKidNextDoor: You didn't really need that Nose Hair Trimmomatic 5000 afterall

And you really didn't need that space bar after all subby. FAIL

and here come's the grammar nazi.

annoyingkidnextdoorhasnospacesdipsh][tfail


We should make people wear some sort of scarlet "G" next to their handle for grammar nazi-ing. Anyone with a scarlet "G" next to their name you can shun and ignore and make fun of. Same goes for anyone totally ruining the language, the people who turn "are you" into "R U" should wear a scarlet "B" for butchering. That way the rest of us who type decent enough can live happily ever.

/or we could just send both groups into camps
//where have I heard that idea before...

 
A0Z 2008-01-06 10:33:43 AM  
"there is only one product from 2007 that I still regularly use" -- which is the real test of 'Useful Invention'.
I try to think that way when I see a 'nifty' new gizmo. Is it something I will really use often? Or more junk to clutter up the place until it gets chucked into the basement? It's not pretty down there.

 
Ed Finnerty 2008-01-06 10:36:08 AM  
Dear WebMD,

I have noticed a few red spots on my penis. Of course, this has me very worried. What could be causing this?

Signed,
Concerned

 
Velveeta_Poindexter 2008-01-06 10:39:01 AM  
phukitol:

or just dont remove the skins.


This.

 
Ed Finnerty 2008-01-06 10:39:04 AM  
Modmins, please delete that. Wrong page.

 
moof 2008-01-06 10:39:32 AM  
the old crow: Evidently you haven't met my husband.
(I'm gay!)


That reads as though you're coming out to your parents in this thread..

 
kidsizedcoffin 2008-01-06 10:41:14 AM  
You'd think people would know better than to order anything in an infomercial, with the amount of complaints these outfits have had. If there is a 30 day money back guaruntee, you'll get it on day 31, the only phone numbers you can call if it breaks or you want to return it is the sales line, the service number doesn't work, or your messages don't get returned. Places no longer advertise how much the shipping and handeling is, often times it can be many times the price of the item, and is often not disclosed until after you enter your credit card number. Infomercial junk is generally poorly made crap that wouldn't sell in a regular store.

 
ChloraSkeptic 2008-01-06 10:41:41 AM  
I have yet to find a reason to peel potatoes.

 
aerojockey [TotalFark] 2008-01-06 10:43:57 AM  
I didn't learn my lesson with the "Home Cataract Removal Kit".

/really obscure

 
scavenger 2008-01-06 10:48:19 AM  
img178.imageshack.us

 
Doomed 2008-01-06 10:49:22 AM  
Nobody's mentioned the sheer potential awesomeness of the Yoga Booty Ballet fitness system mentioned in TFA?

 
twohands 2008-01-06 10:51:05 AM  
You nosehair pluckers are gonna love this one.

I run a spa in a hotel and one day one of the estheticians came up to me without a word, put her hand against my head, pushed back, took a look and said, "you need to have your nose waxed."

I had two reactions. First, as a man, I thought "are you out of your *&^%$ing mind???" Second, as a spa manager, I thought, "I have to try this. Could be something we could offer."

The results were predictable. Painful altho not as much as I thought {you're only removing a few hairs from a small area}. Highly effective -- she only removed the visible hairs at the front of my nostrils so no potential health problems and they were gone for a month.

Best part was everyone in the spa, including a couple of customers, lining up to see the procedure -- not out of professional curiosity, more of a Christians/lions thing.

Even I had to admit the whole thing was hilarious. I would recommend it but only at your own risk. And I didn't add it to the menu.

 
Ed Finnerty 2008-01-06 10:54:56 AM  
twohands: You nosehair pluckers are gonna love this one.

I run a spa in a hotel and one day one of the estheticians came up to me without a word, put her hand against my head, pushed back, took a look and said, "you need to have your nose waxed."

I had two reactions. First, as a man, I thought "are you out of your *&^%$ing mind???" Second, as a spa manager, I thought, "I have to try this. Could be something we could offer."

The results were predictable. Painful altho not as much as I thought {you're only removing a few hairs from a small area}. Highly effective -- she only removed the visible hairs at the front of my nostrils so no potential health problems and they were gone for a month.

Best part was everyone in the spa, including a couple of customers, lining up to see the procedure -- not out of professional curiosity, more of a Christians/lions thing.

Even I had to admit the whole thing was hilarious. I would recommend it but only at your own risk. And I didn't add it to the menu.


How much did you charge him?

 
Fuggin Bizzy 2008-01-06 10:54:58 AM  
Ed Finnerty: Modmins, please delete that. Wrong page.

Bwahaha! No such luck. That might be the funniest thing on FARK all week.

 
moops 2008-01-06 10:58:07 AM  
Yes, I do need it - it's a great tool to keep my gooch hair under control.

 
zobear [TotalFark] 2008-01-06 10:59:23 AM  
My personal favorite:

i184.photobucket.com

www.lasikathome.com

 
onomatopoeon 2008-01-06 11:03:08 AM  
AnnoyingKidNextDoor: You didn't really need that Nose Hair Trimmomatic 5000 afterall

And you really didn't need that space bar after all subby. FAIL



img253.imageshack.us

Obligatory

 
steveGswine 2008-01-06 11:05:41 AM  
Johny McStabbs: ... type decently enough...

FTFY.

IHBT.

HAND.

 
radioman_ 2008-01-06 11:08:59 AM  
I use nasal hair trimming scissors. Often. Welcome to age.

 
Lamune_Baba 2008-01-06 11:11:10 AM  
Johny McStabbs: We should make people wear some sort of scarlet "G" next to their handle for grammar nazi-ing. Anyone with a scarlet "G" next to their name you can shun and ignore and make fun of. Same goes for anyone totally ruining the language, the people who turn "are you" into "R U" should wear a scarlet "B" for butchering. That way the rest of us who type decent enough can live happily ever.

I have a better idea...

www.fortunecity.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyhhFzE5O5U

 
WTFDYW [TotalFark] 2008-01-06 11:11:11 AM  
Ed Finnerty

Assuming you haven't been whoring around, this sounds like a classic case of ingrown hair on the penis. If you don't beat it, it will heal on its own. Just shower/bathe daily and apply Neosporin and a small bandage on the affected area.

WebMD

 
squeez cheez 2008-01-06 11:11:57 AM  
Nerdlinger
True. I prefer to pluck.

ACHOOO! - ACHOOO! - ACHOOO!

 
moof 2008-01-06 11:14:45 AM  
kidsizedcoffin: Infomercial junk is generally poorly made crap that wouldn't sell in a regular store.

The converse is also true. If it's any good, it will be sold in regular stores in 3 months, at half the price.

 
DrFong 2008-01-06 11:17:43 AM  
An article about gadgets with no pictures.......BRILLIANT!!!

 
bighairyguy [TotalFark] 2008-01-06 11:18:52 AM  
I'm Ron Popeil, and I'm really getting a kick out of this thread, or if you call in the next ten minutes, I'll double it to two kicks.

 
mrtursiops 2008-01-06 11:22:28 AM  
Johny McStabbs: phukitol: AnnoyingKidNextDoor: You didn't really need that Nose Hair Trimmomatic 5000 afterall

And you really didn't need that space bar after all subby. FAIL

and here come's the grammar nazi.

annoyingkidnextdoorhasnospacesdipsh][tfail

We should make people wear some sort of scarlet "G" next to their handle for grammar nazi-ing. Anyone with a scarlet "G" next to their name you can shun and ignore and make fun of. Same goes for anyone totally ruining the language, the people who turn "are you" into "R U" should wear a scarlet "B" for butchering. That way the rest of us who type decent enough can live happily ever.

/or we could just send both groups into camps
//where have I heard that idea before...



A space mistake is not a grammar problem, it's a syntax problem.

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2008-01-06 11:23:05 AM  
zobear: www.lasikathome.com

Holy shiat! That's messed up.

The funny thing is the guy on the web page who supposedly invented it is wearing glasses.

 
kidsizedcoffin 2008-01-06 11:24:49 AM  
DrFong: An article about gadgets with no pictures.......BRILLIANT!!!

Link (new window)
Link may contain nsfw language.

 
Korangulation 2008-01-06 11:31:41 AM  
zobear: My personal favorite:


You missed the gem: *This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. (about the painless procedure bit)

 
parkerlewis 2008-01-06 11:35:00 AM  
"Tweezers and pull" for my nose hairs. I'm tired of being nice to them.

 
rulego66 2008-01-06 11:35:19 AM  
Johny McStabbs: phukitol: AnnoyingKidNextDoor: You didn't really need that Nose Hair Trimmomatic 5000 afterall

And you really didn't need that space bar after all subby. FAIL

and here come's the grammar nazi.

annoyingkidnextdoorhasnospacesdipsh][tfail

We should make people wear some sort of scarlet "G" next to their handle for grammar nazi-ing. Anyone with a scarlet "G" next to their name you can shun and ignore and make fun of. Same goes for anyone totally ruining the language, the people who turn "are you" into "R U" should wear a scarlet "B" for butchering. That way the rest of us who type decent enough can live happily ever.

/or we could just send both groups into camps
//where have I heard that idea before...


Or a scarlet "R" for throwing in a Rotsky...

 
rulego66 2008-01-06 11:36:48 AM  
Scavenger, who would want to sniff their own earwax or sniff in their own earwax with that thing?

 
EricB 2008-01-06 11:45:30 AM  
scavenger, why does that device turn ones eyes from blue to brown when inserted into ear?

 
whammer 2008-01-06 11:46:25 AM  
The most useful gadget that gets used a lot is the onion chopping grid thing. With a little care it can also chop potato slices, carrots and celery. Saves a lot of time. Since I use those veggies in a lot of recipes, it is very handy. I do meals for older folks sometimes, they really like their stuff finely chopped.

I wish they would work on the kitchen silicone thingys a bit more. They are really close with several of them, but they're just a little bit off. They are great insulators, once you get over the feeling that they are rubber and are going to melt on you.

 
mmontour 2008-01-06 11:46:31 AM  
Ed Finnerty: Dear WebMD,

I have noticed a few red spots on my penis. Of course, this has me very worried. What could be causing this?


Fapping while wearing Tater Mitts?

 
TXEric 2008-01-06 11:48:11 AM  
I prefer needle-nose pliers and a nice bourbon for my nose hair treatment.

Not really - I have one of those $8.00 trimmers I got at Walgreen's, and it works great for the nose/ears.

/Yes, getting older sucks.
//Better than the alternative, however.

 
WTFDYW [TotalFark] 2008-01-06 11:55:09 AM  
I know I need to trim my ears when I cannot tell the difference between white hair and my hearing aid extracting stems.

/Wahl makes a great tool

 
Poo_Fight 2008-01-06 11:56:25 AM  
Johny McStabbs:

We should make people wear some sort of scarlet "G" next to their handle for grammar nazi-ing. Anyone with a scarlet "G" next to their name you can shun and ignore and make fun of. Same goes for anyone totally ruining the language, the people who turn "are you" into "R U" should wear a scarlet "B" for butchering.




I think anybody who uses 'prolly' for 'probably' should be "pantsed" in public.

 
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