HA!

Someone post an PWND picture.

GARMOWN3D

Ricky Bobby approves.

Nailing Jesus down is cheaper.

They caught a baby jesus?

I found Jesus!!! He's at 26°39′18″N, 80°15′15″W.

Finally an answer for all those people asking if I've found Jesus.

FTFA: Santino was charged with grand theft.

Just how much is a BJ* worth?

(*baby jesus)

steal my baby jesus statue all you want.. i'll be damned if you touch my hubbard memoribilia though. i paid good money for it.

Ticket to hell please!

Now, can we find the chimpanzee who posted that
newspaper article?

/crayons

Control_this: Nailing Jesus down is cheaper.

No, that's been tried before. He'll just die and raise himself from the dead three days later, and taunt you for another 40 days after that.

/I heard he built up quite a following after that too

"Watch Local 6 News for more on this story."

Can we please have a newsflash when this ongoing saga is updated.

Jesus'?

Wouldn't that be "Jesi" (Jee-sai)?

If I take the wings of the morning,
If I dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there, thou wilt find me,
Thy GPS will find me fast

/Not struck by lightning, yet

ScreamingInDigital: FTFA: Santino was charged with grand theft.

Just how much is a BJ* worth?

(*baby jesus)

Worth the souls of everyone on earth. BJ died for all of us, surely that must be worth more than $1000.00 (or 100 or 200 or 999 [checked wikipedia for help]).

/Checks rest of fark: NEVERMIND!

Baby Jesus was equipped with OnStar of Bethlehem©

It sees you when you're bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!

Control_this: Nailing Jesus down is cheaper.

Oh snap!

Seriously, though... remind me to steal one of these next year and chuck it in the river with some floaties. People just don't realize that the whole GPS thing adds a whole new level of fun to the pastime.

Did she leave anything in place of it?

/baby geocaching jesus...

I would bring a baby jesus sized Farraday cage with me to the heist.

wmoonfox, Moses already did the whole baby floatin' down river thing.

Who am I kidding, I'd immaculately hit it.

Grand Theft? How big was this Baby Jesus?

"Coming soon from Rockstar Games...Grand Theft: Jesus."

They oughta make an animatronic, tap-dancing baby Jebus.

Diogenes: 26°39′18″N, 80°15′15″W

Aww MAN! He's NEVER gonna par from there...

wmoonfox: Seriously, though... remind me to steal one of these next year and chuck it in the river with some floaties. People just don't realize that the whole GPS thing adds a whole new level of fun to the pastime.

Really! You'd have to plan it very carefully, but this makes stealing lawn gnomes and mailing home vacation pictures from around the world pretty tame.

wmoonfox: Control_this: Nailing Jesus down is cheaper.

Oh snap!

Seriously, though... remind me to steal one of these next year and chuck it in the river with some floaties. People just don't realize that the whole GPS thing adds a whole new level of fun to the pastime.

Planting a small bomb in it and then remotely detonating it would be even more fun but maybe that's just me.

is it worse to steal baby jesus, or to lojack him first?

Control_this
Nailing Jesus down is cheaper.

And...the Winner is...Control_this !!!

Did the real Baby Jesus go beep... beep... beep... too?

Whatthefark
Baby Jesus was equipped with OnStar of Bethlehem©

Winner!!!
Thread over

But that poor girl needed some Jesus in her life and all of you racists are keeping it from her...

Of course Baby Jesus had a GPS. How do you think the wise men found him in the first place?

bighairyguy: Planting a small bomb in it and then remotely detonating it would be even more fun but maybe that's just me.

Baby Jesus suicide bomber?

wmoonfox: Seriously, though... remind me to steal one of these next year and chuck it in the river with some floaties. People just don't realize that the whole GPS thing adds a whole new level of fun to the pastime.

Give Baby Jeebus a ticket to ride on the local freightliner?

Psychohazard: Who am I kidding, I'd immaculately hit it.

With those puffy cheeks, it looks like someone already did.

what's her fark handle?

F*cking atheists have no respect for anything.

Cosmic Crab: bighairyguy: Planting a small bomb in it and then remotely detonating it would be even more fun but maybe that's just me.

Baby Jesus suicide bomber?

Technically not if you can raised yourself from the dead.

Why didn't they just make the baby Jesus a remotely-detonated IED?

The theives would never do it again.

Phocas FTW

/St. Lojak preserve us!

Ok "Chrisitans" nows a good opportunity to put your forgiveness skills to real use.

Remember the GPS installed in the baby Jesus' to track the thieves stealing 'em?
um,,,no
Got one
got one WHAT?

/huh?

Seriously, this could be fun! Steal it and wrap it in heavy foil to shield it, then run it off somewhere to hide it. Top of a tall tree, on top of a shopping mall, top of a strip club, channel marker buoy in a nearby harbor, you name it. Then just rip the foil off, run like hell, and wait for the Fark headline submissions to come rolling in!

I used to work for a GPS tracking company, and we'd test the collars out in the parking lot. One day, the signal was getting inexplicably weaker, so my boss went out to check.

The collar was gone - someone stole the GPS tracking collar. I think that one was going to go onto deer for a 2-year deployment. Anyway, it didn't take long to find the collar. It was thrown into a dumpster. The thief took the hunk of metal from inside the testing box (to prevent it from being blown away) and just threw the rest away.

They didn't catch the thief, though.

I always use a black baby Jesus and he's never been taken.

Diogenes: 26°39′18″N, 80°15′15″W

Aww MAN! He's NEVER gonna par from there...

I suggest using a 4-iron and punching out, then its an easy wedge...

FTFA: Santino was charged with grand theft.

Just how much is a BJ* worth?

(*baby jesus)

Value of 'Baby Jesus' + Value of GPS inside of 'Baby Jesus' >= $2000?