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(St. Pete Times) Florida 57-year-old man loses his car in crowded mall parking lot. Security ensures he won't ever be allowed to have this problem again   (sptimes.com) divider line 145
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27825 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2007 at 6:38 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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King Something [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 05:06:59 PM  
b&

/please don't do to me what they did to the guy

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 05:20:45 PM  
I, for one, welcome our new corporate overlords!

 
verity 2007-12-23 05:50:44 PM  
The term 'overkill' comes to mind.

 
rockyhors 2007-12-23 05:54:36 PM  
I wonder if this thread will go the racism route, or just not get many comments. There are at least 4 atheist flame threads going so maybe farkers looking for something lighter will drop in.

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 06:02:36 PM  
rockyhors: I wonder if this thread will go the racism route, or just not get many comments. There are at least 4 atheist flame threads going so maybe farkers looking for something lighter will drop in.

well yeah - this is a rough time of the year for the atheists. All those people feeling happy and churchified? It's hell for their ideology.

 
Confabulat [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 06:27:04 PM  
Weaver95:
well yeah - this is a rough time of the year for the atheists. All those people feeling happy and churchified? It's hell for their ideology.


I'm an atheist, and I love this time of year. What the hell are you talking about, Weaver?

 
Manic_Repressive [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 06:29:23 PM  
Weaver95: well yeah - this is a rough time of the year for the atheists. All those people feeling happy and churchified? It's hell for their ideology.

Not really, not all of us are assholes about it. I actually like to go to midnight Mass at a local Catholic Church on Christmas Eve. And I've been an atheist since I was very young.
Back to the topic at hand. This almost happened to me when I was trying to open the door to my Toyota and couldn't figure out why the key wouldn't work. Mall security rolled up on me and asked what I was doing, and told me a woman had reported me trying to break into her car. I stepped back and looked at the car and saw that the hubcaps were different than mine, but other than that it was the same year, model, and color. My car was parked in the next aisle. We all had a good laugh about it and I apologized to the lady for scaring her. I guess if I was in Florida I would've gotten cuffed n' stuffed. Another reason I'm glad I only stayed for a few months when I moved down there!

 
nailPuppy 2007-12-23 06:44:02 PM  
What kind of man wouldn't want to be banned from a mall?

Wife: Honey, I need to buy some new clothes, lets go to the mall.
Him: Sorry, you know the deal.
Wife: Thats right. I'll go, you stay here and watch football.

I mean, its a win win situation.

 
simpsonfan 2007-12-23 06:44:39 PM  
I hope he had bought a lot of expensive things. So he can take everything back, teach them a lesson. Or just sue the gestapo.

 
ukiah 2007-12-23 06:45:35 PM  
web.syr.edu

/Not yours, can't have

 
rockyhors 2007-12-23 06:46:09 PM  
Weaver95:

well yeah - this is a rough time of the year for the atheists. All those people feeling happy and churchified? It's hell for their ideology.


Actually, I just refer to all the threads that involve religion or the lack of such as 'atheist flame' threads. They come out in droves to fervently defend their right to believe or not believe as they so choose, which would be a wonderful stopping point, but it never ends there. It almost always escalates into sanctimoniously shiatting all over the beliefs of other people.

The simple fact is, the militant atheists act exactly like the fundamentalists they hold such disdain for, witness any of those threads. All of which is apparently a staple at Fark, seeing as how headlines designed for such flaming are greenlit almost hourly.

/saying this here because I don't open those threads
//end threadjack

 
stephen02tb 2007-12-23 06:49:13 PM  
peering into cars sounds a bit sketchy though, if hes that senile, he should probably have a shopping buddy

 
Prof_Moriarity 2007-12-23 06:49:39 PM  
Owned by mall security? *snicker*

These are the kids who couldn't get even get jobs as traffic cops in the middle of a national shortage of police officers.
Hang your head in shame, sir.

 
haineux 2007-12-23 06:51:35 PM  
Wow, those security guards must have been FLUMMOXED and MYSTIFIED by this RARE occurrence.

It's not like OLD people in FLORIDA ever FORGET where they parked their WHITE AMERICAN CARS.

Wow.

Makes me want to call up Mall Security and just laugh. Of course, these days they'd call the CIA and I'd be TORTURED as some kind of TERRORIST.

 
mcreadyblue 2007-12-23 06:53:20 PM  
I'm surprised he wasn't tasered. Surely he was dangerous. Will no one think of the children??

 
shirtsbyeric 2007-12-23 06:54:32 PM  
I should call that mall right now and ask for security and tell them I lost my car in the lot and see if they could help me find it.
/that'll learn em

 
visionline 2007-12-23 06:55:06 PM  
Talk about a power trip for these rent-a-thugs! They can't find any real criminals so they have to invent one. This guy made a mistake that will happen more and more often as our population ages, he forgot something. He probably parked there so often that the experiences just bled together. Add in the stress of holiday shopping and some information just won't go into long term memory. These lowest bidder protectors of the peace just saw this man as a menace to land, society and the United Colors of the Beneton. What a great job guys. Three more bannings like this and they can earn enough points to get a taser!

Tune in next week when the start kicking puppies and "confiscating" candy from babies.

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2007-12-23 06:56:45 PM  
This Mall Security = Mentally deficient. 286 brains in a CoreTM2 Duo world.

Too bad stupidity isn't a crime. It should be in this case.

It would be perfect justice if these wastes of oxygen were rounded up and ridiculed in the local paper like they do with the meth whores.

 
Winterstar 2007-12-23 06:57:42 PM  
rockyhors: The simple fact is, the militant atheists act exactly like the fundamentalists they hold such disdain for, witness any of those threads. All of which is apparently a staple at Fark, seeing as how headlines designed for such flaming are greenlit almost hourly.

Nope, not exactly like. Atheists are intelligent and can think critically.

It's not the evangelism that I dislike - it's the idiocy of religion I'm against.

 
walnuts55 [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 06:57:53 PM  
Rent a cops are the lowest POS on the planet.and t

 
SBinRR 2007-12-23 06:58:46 PM  
Hey, is that one of those Sheriff's Association plates on the front of his car?


www.sptimes.com

 
mark12A 2007-12-23 07:01:44 PM  
Them old Crackers are a menance to society, yo!

/wearing Fruit of the Loom and pouring out martinis for their homies
//doing drugs like Lipitor, Prilosec
///be all like "check out the Buick, biatches!!"

 
VegasVinnie 2007-12-23 07:01:50 PM  
What a bunch of dicks.

 
Ral 2007-12-23 07:04:38 PM  
Weaver95: well yeah - this is a rough time of the year for the atheists. All those people feeling happy and churchified? It's hell for their ideology.

The existence of a religious holiday that a lot of people believe in isn't "proof" that atheism is wrong, so I don't really understand what you're saying here.

Anyway, I look upon Christmas as a Capitalist holiday, since that's basically what it has become.

/not that there's anything wrong with that
//likes xmas

 
TexasPeace [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 07:06:06 PM  
Of course he was trying to break into cars.

Cops never get it wrong.

The whole "lost my car" thing was his prefabricated alibi.

Some damn good police work.

 
clevershark 2007-12-23 07:08:38 PM  
Weaver95: this is a rough time of the year for the atheists. All those people feeling happy and churchified? It's hell for their ideology.

The gap between what you think you know and what you actually know is vast, my friend.

 
LowbrowDeluxe 2007-12-23 07:09:35 PM  
Weaver95:
well yeah - this is a rough time of the year for the atheists. All those people feeling happy and churchified? It's hell for their ideology.


You're either a bigger idiot than I usually give you credit for, or you've never left your homebunker in the past month.

I'll grant you this much, the 'happy holidays' are certainly close to proof of the existence of satan, so I suppose by proxy you're closer to correct than you usually manage.

 
clevershark 2007-12-23 07:09:44 PM  
The result: He's banned from the mall for life.

Oh noes!!!! Whatever shall he do. I guess there's nothing left to do but for him to pick up the shattered pieces of his life and try to go on as best he can...

 
vgss 2007-12-23 07:10:02 PM  
Instead, DiSalvo said, they told him he had been seen peering into and trying to enter cars. To his astonishment, he said, they told him to leave the property immediately...

He was repeatedly questioned. Police said they were told he had run away from security.


Yeah, that'll teach that farker to listen to authority.

 
Abox 2007-12-23 07:10:41 PM  
I don't even wanna hear the other side of the story. If I wanted to hear both sides of a story I'd read an article that has more to offer than one guy's side.

 
Pronto_Breakneck 2007-12-23 07:10:43 PM  
Sounds like a job for Ben Klingston, Mall Guard.

 
raidersofthelostfark 2007-12-23 07:11:50 PM  
Ben Klingston, Mall Guard!

 
zopi 2007-12-23 07:15:22 PM  
Half hearted lawsuit=Big Settlement.

/Sue the farking bastids..and name everyone involved by name, and throw in friggin companies 'cause that's where the dough is.

//hates malls, and renttakoontz.

 
Burt Scursey 2007-12-23 07:15:43 PM  
Winterstar: rockyhors: The simple fact is, the militant atheists act exactly like the fundamentalists they hold such disdain for, witness any of those threads. All of which is apparently a staple at Fark, seeing as how headlines designed for such flaming are greenlit almost hourly.

Nope, not exactly like. Atheists are intelligent and can think critically.

It's not the evangelism that I dislike - it's the idiocy of religion I'm against.


Ahh, Winterstar... Perhaps comments like "the idiocy of religion" is what rockyhors is talking about. And perhaps you would be interested in the definition of religion I located at www.dictionary.reference.com. Would atheism meet the definition of a "set of beliefs concerning" at least the "cause" and "nature" of the universe?

re·li·gion
-noun 1. a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
2. a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
3. the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.
4. the life or state of a monk, nun, etc.: to enter religion.
5. the practice of religious beliefs; ritual observance of faith.
6. something one believes in and follows devotedly; a point or matter of ethics or conscience: to make a religion of fighting prejudice.

Sorry for the troll; I guess I'm feeling grumpy. Feel free to ignore me.

 
The Asshole Guy 2007-12-23 07:18:47 PM  
He does look like a hardcore care theif so I think the mall rent a cops got it right for once. To bad he cannot use a proxy and sneek in the back door.

As for the idiot that had to make the "atheist" comment. Well I am an atheist and I love christmas time. Just because I do not believe in god does not mean I cannot enjoy this time of the year and I have to be depressed.

 
black_knight 2007-12-23 07:21:08 PM  
He should lawyer up.

 
make_me_some_pie 2007-12-23 07:21:34 PM  
All I can say is that if my local mall was named Tyrone, I'd probably visit and purchase the occasional item. WTF?

 
fnordfocus [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 07:25:16 PM  
This shows exactly what's wrong with cops these days. They're only concerned with figuring out whether they can punish someone, not figuring whether he's actually doing something wrong.

 
eno 2007-12-23 07:25:25 PM  
TTIUWV

 
technicolor-misfit 2007-12-23 07:25:25 PM  
Manic_Repressive - This almost happened to me when I was trying to open the door to my Toyota and couldn't figure out why the key wouldn't work. Mall security rolled up on me and asked what I was doing, and told me a woman had reported me trying to break into her car. I stepped back and looked at the car and saw that the hubcaps were different than mine, but other than that it was the same year, model, and color. My car was parked in the next aisle. We all had a good laugh about it and I apologized to the lady for scaring her. I guess if I was in Florida I would've gotten cuffed n' stuffed. Another reason I'm glad I only stayed for a few months when I moved down there!

Haha... Same thing happened to me like 20 years ago... (well, minus security or anything like that) I drove an '83 Mustang at the time, and was absent-mindedly walking out to my car, and same deal... stuck my key in and it wouldn't turn and was like wtf?

Some guy yells "Hey man, what are you doing to my car?" so I was even more WTF? and I look up at him and he's definitely talking to me... then look back down, and more closely, at the car and realize it's an '83 Mercury Capri, the exact same color... and parked 3 or 4 spots from where I had parked mine.

On an amusing note... because that happened, when I actually did come up on a guy breaking into my own car many years later, my first reflex was to look around for a second and make sure it was actually my car.

(It was. I stopped him and made him give all my shiat back that he'd taken out of it.)

 
VTGremlin 2007-12-23 07:30:16 PM  
I got banned from a California grocery store(I forget the name) a few years ago. I was out there visiting a friend, he had to go to work, and since I didn't want to hang out at his house with his parents and didn't know the area very well, I parked at a supermarket to watch Scrubs on a laptop.

Manager comes out, writes down my plate number, and calls the cops. Apparently a customer reported that I was jacking off to porn in the parking lot. I wasn't, but was told never to return. Good times with security overreactions.

 
nosepicker 2007-12-23 07:32:59 PM  
Thats a mighty fine shoop they did on that car photo for the article.

 
JohnReddy 2007-12-23 07:35:06 PM  
The really scary part is that many of those mall cops are guys who flunked the civil service test to become real cops. They're working as mall cops only until they pass the test the second or third time. Then the morans get real guns (and tasers).

 
fnordfocus [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 07:35:44 PM  
SBinRR: Hey, is that one of those Sheriff's Association plates on the front of his car?

With that plate on a Grand Marquis, and retired at 57, I would have guessed he was a retired deputy. But the article says he was in real estate. Maybe his wife?

 
bojon [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 07:36:49 PM  
From the information Mall Security had to go on. A man acting suspiciously, no vehicle, left the scene running. Police called.

 
Poo_Fight 2007-12-23 07:37:40 PM  
Can we come up with a phone number for mall management or mall security?

I'd like to make a call.

 
Bronto Saurus 2007-12-23 07:38:35 PM  
All part of what security guru calls the "War on the Unexpected". Feh.

Having said that, how did this get threadjacked into a discussion of atheism?

 
SwingingJohnson 2007-12-23 07:39:32 PM  
VTGremlin: I got banned from a California grocery store(I forget the name) a few years ago. I was out there visiting a friend, he had to go to work, and since I didn't want to hang out at his house with his parents and didn't know the area very well, I parked at a supermarket to watch Scrubs on a laptop.

Manager comes out, writes down my plate number, and calls the cops. Apparently a customer reported that I was jacking off to porn in the parking lot. I wasn't, but was told never to return. Good times with security overreactions.


You jerk off to SCRUBS?

The show is good, but not THAT good.

 
HowlingPook 2007-12-23 07:41:07 PM  
The local mall was quite exciting today. 8 inch snow yesterday, no snow removal and several thousand senior citizens and redneck cowboys competing for parking spaces you couldn't see. I probably saw 100+ ten year old Grand Marquis and RWD Cadillacs slaloming sideways out of control while the cowboys in the 4wd dually crew cabs were showing off and spinning around. I found the employee parking area which was cleared and followed someone who was outside smoking into the building. Christmas shopping gets more fun every year.

 
High_Wide_And_Handsome 2007-12-23 07:41:08 PM  
VTGremlin: I got banned from a California grocery store(I forget the name) a few years ago. I was out there visiting a friend, he had to go to work, and since I didn't want to hang out at his house with his parents and didn't know the area very well, I parked at a supermarket to watch Scrubs on a laptop.

Manager comes out, writes down my plate number, and calls the cops. Apparently a customer reported that I was jacking off to porn in the parking lot. I wasn't, but was told never to return. Good times with security overreactions.


I find it creepier that you were watching Scrubs...

 
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