"In time, we saw weapons such as baseball bats and clubs and sports equipment. The next progression in the weapons arsenal were knives and now we're seeing an increase in the next progression, which is firearms."

I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Therion's weapon advice: Never bring a 6" knife to a 3' baseball bat fight.

not in counterstrike

Cutting-edge news indeed!

Therion: "In time, we saw weapons such as baseball bats and clubs and sports equipment. The next progression in the weapons arsenal were knives and now we're seeing an increase in the next progression, which is firearms."

I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Therion's weapon advice: Never bring a 6" knife to a 3' baseball bat fight.

Well, you have to take into account concealability vs. damage potential. I'd have better reach with a 10' pole with a housecat tied to the end, but it'd be rather difficult, and probably painful, to try to hide in my coat.

I'm glad we got right to the point, i'm a little on edge.

Yes, Ms. Moharib, we get the point: You have a rapier wit. Thanks for the tip.

Entering in to this pointed debate is a sharp observation that stabs directly at the numbers of those attacked with knives as those who weren't.

everyone knows you use a knife for the humiliation factor, when everyone else is using a gun.

Attacks by knives plummet into the red!

Damn, I'm slow...

Is this story coming from Cleveland?

i just got stabbed so i'm really bleeding... heavily...

*thunk

"Years ago, a fight was usually consensual and involved two people squaring off in a fist fight," he said.

Is he referring to the good old days of fisticuffs?

Therion: Therion's weapon advice: Never bring a 6" knife to a 3' baseball bat fight.

But 2 is good, right?



/approves

anyone wanna buy a knife? i guess i have to get rid of mine before they're obsolete

/slashies //slashies
this story is full of
/slashies
//slashies
//slash slash

LowbrowDeluxe

Well, you have to take into account concealability vs. damage potential. I'd have better reach with a 10' pole with a housecat tied to the end, but it'd be rather difficult, and probably painful, to try to hide in my coat.

Is that a 10' pole with a housecat tied to the end in your pocket, or are you pleased to see me?

As is clear from the datum, the progression from fixed knives to folding knives at such a pace will no doubt lead to a large progression of knives such as machettes (sometimes called a watermelon knife"), falchions, and include the parang and the golok. Our southern border walls will not stop the tools of mass destruction weapons that could prove to be the destruction of humankind and a loss of jobs to southern invaders.

What kind of 3rd world hellhole is Canada turning into?

LowbrowDeluxe: Well, you have to take into account concealability vs. damage potential. I'd have better reach with a 10' pole with a housecat tied to the end, but it'd be rather difficult, and probably painful, to try to hide in my coat.

I just returned from a drive 10' pole-housecatting by, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies...

BAN KNIVES!!~

LowbrowDeluxe: Well, you have to take into account concealability vs. damage potential. I'd have better reach with a 10' pole with a housecat tied to the end, but it'd be rather difficult, and probably painful, to try to hide in my coat.

You son of a biatch. I've got to try this now, and I'm almost certainly going to get in trouble with *someone* (wife, cops, neighborhood children, etc.). But I've GOT to try it.

/here kitty, kitty, kitty

eqtworld: Link (new window)

I'll see your Bobby Darin and raise you a Satchmo (new window)

See, it's funny because knives are sharp, and this headline was talking about how much knife attacks have gone down recently.

cerberus9:
You son of a biatch. I've got to try this now, and I'm almost certainly going to get in trouble with *someone* (wife, cops, neighborhood children, etc.). But I've GOT to try it.

/here kitty, kitty, kitty

Remember, as in all instances where cat-like weaponry is detected, the pointy ends of the cat should be aimed towards your opponent.

"Parole officer says I gotta upgrade, or he won't give me back my stabbin' knife! Ha-HAAAA!"

Update: Don't ever try to duct-tape a cat to a pole. Trust me on this one.

I can't believe that headline! More authors should use puns.

Cut it out, guys.

Mike Greenwell: Cut it out, guys.

approves of this message.

King Something

Can it be knifesaka thread tiem?

Rape yer wit?

In other news, hand grenades...

cerberus9: Update: Don't ever try to duct-tape a cat to a pole. Trust me on this one.

Did you try using liquor, or sedatives? Or, if that fails, a sharp blow to the head? You do have a 10' pole to work with.

kroonermanblack: cerberus9: Update: Don't ever try to duct-tape a cat to a pole. Trust me on this one.

Did you try using liquor, or sedatives? Or, if that fails, a sharp blow to the head? You do have a 10' pole to work with.

I considered those, but they would have reduced the effectiveness of the cat. Maybe I'll try a big blob of tar...

cerberus9

Perhaps if you were to attach several loose strands of yarn to the end of the 10' pole, it would distract the cat long enough for you to duct-tape and/or tar glob it to the pole. It may also increase the destructive power of the CatPole, as the flailing of the cat as it attempts to catch the yarn is certain to add to the unpredictiability of the weapon.

cerberus9: kroonermanblack: cerberus9: Update: Don't ever try to duct-tape a cat to a pole. Trust me on this one.

Did you try using liquor, or sedatives? Or, if that fails, a sharp blow to the head? You do have a 10' pole to work with.

I considered those, but they would have reduced the effectiveness of the cat. Maybe I'll try a big blob of tar...

How about a banana? We haven't done bananas yet.....

Dwreck: cerberus9

Perhaps if you were to attach several loose strands of yarn to the end of the 10' pole, it would distract the cat long enough for you to duct-tape and/or tar glob it to the pole. It may also increase the destructive power of the CatPole, as the flailing of the cat as it attempts to catch the yarn is certain to add to the unpredictiability of the weapon.

I considered "cartridge kittens": small cats confined to carboard tubes. When needed, ram pole through tube, thereby spearing the cat, pissiing it off, and making it more effective...

/stupid animal cruelty laws...

What's your point?

mayberebecca: Mike Greenwell: Cut it out, guys.

approves of this message.


Dave Coulier up in this.

...and it feels so right.

/I KAN HAZ MY KNIFE NOW?

Spontaneous Defenstration: King Something

Can it be knifesaka thread tiem?

I'm gonna look for a better Knife-saka pic. I saw it on GIS, but that link was 404. The one I posted here was best I could find.

Keep an eye on this thread. If I can put a better Osaka pic, it'll be here; but if this thread dies first, I'll start a TFD thread with it.

In the meantime, here's another Azu girl with a weapon of mass destruction:

xria: Is that a 10' pole with a housecat tied to the end in your pocket, or are you pleased to see me?

That's not a 10' pole with a housecat tied to the end. Now this....

overlord: "Years ago, a fight was usually consensual and involved two people squaring off in a fist fight," he said.

Is he referring to the good olde days of fisticuffs?

FTFY

Everything pre-1913 had an extra e in it.

LowbrowDeluxe

Well, you have to take into account concealability vs. damage potential. I'd have better reach with a 10' pole with a housecat tied to the end, but it'd be rather difficult, and probably painful, to try to hide in my coat.

You may want to patent the idea, the possibilities are endless.

Strap a slice of buttered toast to the cat's back and add some blades; you have a cat-powered propeller.

King Something

You should stop by /azu/ some time.

no way a journalist using puns wowwee submiter

Spontaneous Defenstration: King Something

You should stop by /azu/ some time.

I DO, just not while at work.

Trust me, any board whose name is in /this/ format is NSFW - even the ones that are safe for children.

Once I'm home, I'll get one on my Mac (yes, I use a Mac) and upload it somewhere, then post it here.

King Something

By the way, you'll find me there as "Dark Shikari,"(!RtsHIKaRig) my regular non-Fark username.