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(MSNBC) Amusing More couples seeking "collaborative divorces." Work together to be apart   (msnbc.msn.com) divider line 73
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Gidgie 2007-12-23 12:53:22 AM  
Seems healthy to me. My parents shouldn't have been together to begin with, and eventually they separated it. But they did it in the way described in this article. Heck, he does work around the house when she needs it, she pays the cell phone bills for both, she's on his health we have holidays together, and they both help each other out when needed. We have holidays together, birthdays, etc.

I'm glad that if they had to divorce/separate that it was like this and not a constant war over my brother and myself. It made dealing with them both a lot easier during my childhood -- as well as now during adulthood. There's no tiptoeing, there's no rivalry, and there's a hell of a lot less fighting than when they were married. It's just generally pleasant.

 
TxRabbit 2007-12-23 01:17:21 AM  
B-b-b-b-but marriage is sacred!?!

 
nativefloridian 2007-12-23 01:18:22 AM  
Gidgie:

Agreed. I have seen some farked up kids come from competitive divorces. They fight over the kids, and it's so clear that it's less about the kid's well-being than about one-upping the ex.

/my parents were pretty civil about it, too.
//farked up for other reasons ;)

 
iammiles 2007-12-23 01:26:22 AM  
the other day i was at the food mart and my girl gets all mad she saw me looking at some other chick

she starts calling me names and **%* pushing me in my head grabing my shirt now all these

mother@%#*ers watching this **%* happen and they aint say **%* but as soon as i toss her ass into the

2% im the bad guy WTF?!

 
jack21221 2007-12-23 01:26:33 AM  
I don't see the amusing part. Seems logical and beneficial to me.

 
Black Moses 2007-12-23 01:26:46 AM  
meow..................
meow meow - meow meow MEOW meow-meow

 
naveline 2007-12-23 01:27:08 AM  
Lawyers by the thousands want to be part of the trend.


(snerk)

 
angrygrizzly 2007-12-23 01:27:57 AM  
Hmm. Friendly agreements, but less money for the lawyers?

I'm thinking it'll die soon--since no divorce lawyer wants to take a pay cut.

 
Trinilos 2007-12-23 01:29:01 AM  
iammiles: the other day i was at the food mart and my girl gets all mad she saw me looking at some other chick

she starts calling me names and **%* pushing me in my head grabing my shirt now all these

mother@%#*ers watching this **%* happen and they aint say **%* but as soon as i toss her ass into the

2% im the bad guy WTF?!


She be all wack'n'#@!$ dawg, yo. Homies got yo back.

/Am I doing it right?
//Gosh, I've never spoken Jive before.

 
Dialectic 2007-12-23 01:29:05 AM  
I hope those idiots signed a prenup before getting married. Hahahahaha!

 
testbenchdude 2007-12-23 01:36:00 AM  
I've been divorced once. This one's a keeper though (and luckily she thinks the same of me).

I think there should be a minimum age requirement for marriage, but of course that's too Marxist to gain any real ground. But just think if that were the case-- like legal drinking age, there'd be a legal marriage age. I know I'd have rebelled against this when I was younger, but now that I am one of "them (they)" I see it as a good idea.

Whatever. I can pretend to care all I want, but the cold hard truth is that the world can fark off now that I've found my true soul mate. Or rather, now that we've found eachother.

 
Thatguy 2007-12-23 01:37:59 AM  
welcome to my 2008.

/hello, ladies. Oh, we're going to be collaborative about the split, but make no mistake...it's all her fault. I'm your dream come true!

 
TurdBurglar 2007-12-23 01:41:26 AM  
testbenchdude: I think there should be a minimum age requirement for marriage...


There is.

 
Jgok [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 01:43:25 AM  
A minimum age for marriage wouldn't reduce divorces significantly, IMO. I've been through a divorce, we did the divorce almost like it is described in the article, and guess what... no lawyers on either side.

I was 25 when I got married... What would you suggest the minimum age be? I've known plenty of people who got married at 30+ and still got divorces. I also know plenty of people who got married in the 20-25 range and are still together after 10 years or more.

The bottom line... It's more about emotional/mental maturity and self-knowledge than it is about chronological age.

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2007-12-23 01:43:57 AM  
Lawyers by the thousands want to be part of the trend.

You know why?

In contrast to mediation, in which divorcing couples entrust a resolution to a single neutral mediator, collaborative divorce involves the use of attorneys for each party, often joined by other expert consultants.

Double the work, double the pay!

The firm analyzed 199 of its recent divorce cases, and found that mediation, collaborative divorce and litigation all produced high rates of successful settlement. Mediation was by far the least expensive option, with a median cost of $6,600, compared to $19,723 for a collaborative divorce, $26,830 for settlements negotiated by rival lawyers, and $77,746 for full-scale litigation.

Oh wait! Triple the pay. Minimum. What's not to like? (if you're a lawyer)

 
Jgok [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 01:45:25 AM  
bah, preview before post, preview before post...

Was going to put in there that there is a minimum age, but TurdBurglar beat me to it. Of course, the current minimum age is usually around what, 16-18?

 
OK So Amuse Me 2007-12-23 01:45:33 AM  
Gidgie
Seems healthy to me. My parents shouldn't have been together to begin with, and eventually they separated it. But they did it in the way described in this article. Heck, he does work around the house when she needs it, she pays the cell phone bills for both, she's on his health we have holidays together, and they both help each other out when needed. We have holidays together, birthdays, etc.

I'm glad that if they had to divorce/separate that it was like this and not a constant war over my brother and myself. It made dealing with them both a lot easier during my childhood -- as well as now during adulthood. There's no tiptoeing, there's no rivalry, and there's a hell of a lot less fighting than when they were married. It's just generally pleasant.


Geez, Lucky you,

My Parents had one of those "Yo-Yo" marriages, together, apart, together, apart....ever when I was like six, I could see that they should never have married. They finnaly divorced when I was almost 10, it was finalized 7 days before my 10th Birthday, and when my Mom aksed what I wanted for my Birthday, I told her I already had it, the divorce!

I think it's a good thing when people realize that they don't belong together they don't tear their kids to pieces by acting like asshats, and decide to act like the adults that they are supposed to be as parents.

Kudos to all couples following this trend!!

 
Lemina 2007-12-23 01:45:33 AM  
Mediation was by far the least expensive option, with a median cost of $6,600, compared to $19,723 for a collaborative divorce, $26,830 for settlements negotiated by rival lawyers, and $77,746 for full-scale litigation.

Heh, my parents went for the full-scale litigation option. Not only is it expensive, it is time-consuming and stressful. Theirs took over three years. My dad ended up nearly broke and my mom ended up an alcoholic.

 
not_an_indigo [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 01:49:17 AM  
You mean, adults actually acting like mature grown-ups?

What is this world coming to???

 
Marshall Banana 2007-12-23 01:50:43 AM  
This is the way my ex and I have done things. If you've got kids to think about it's the only responsible option, IMHO, unless one partner is actually irresponsible or dangerous.

So far so good, and relatively little stress.

 
tiamet4 2007-12-23 01:55:34 AM  
You mean people might actually be growing up and doing what's best for their children and themselves? My faith in humanity has been restored a small amount, just in time for christmas!

 
abennion 2007-12-23 01:59:15 AM  
img151.imageshack.us

 
Arbitrator 2007-12-23 01:59:48 AM  
Gidgie: Seems healthy to me. My parents shouldn't have been together to begin with, and eventually they separated it. But they did it in the way described in this article.

I'd like to see this more often. Actually, I'd like to see fewer divorces, but I'm not sure how to achieve it... Certainly less rushed engagements where possible, but that doesn't describe everyone.

My parents have a dysfunctional marriage. I still resent visiting them because of it. Marriage for the sake of appearances can really screw up your kids...

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 02:02:24 AM  
Trinilos: iammiles: the other day i was at the food mart and my girl gets all mad she saw me looking at some other chick

she starts calling me names and **%* pushing me in my head grabing my shirt now all these

mother@%#*ers watching this **%* happen and they aint say **%* but as soon as i toss her ass into the

2% im the bad guy WTF?!

She be all wack'n'#@!$ dawg, yo. Homies got yo back.

/Am I doing it right?
//Gosh, I've never spoken Jive before.


Excuse me stewardess...I speak jive.

 
Brick Top 2007-12-23 02:02:57 AM  
Why do people get married anyway?

Seriously...nobody believes in this "stay together forever" nonsense.

People should just draw up legally binding contracts for specific things. "We agree to raise x children. This person will pay this percent. That person will spend so much time caring for them." Etc.

If you actually get some love, sex, companionship, whatever out of the bargain, so be it.

This way, unless it's specified in the contract, there's no "You betrayed me, I get your house/car/70% of your salary." Think of it as a prenup that covers EVERYTHING.

 
Unknown_Poltroon [recently expired TotalFark] 2007-12-23 02:05:49 AM  
Brick Top: Why do people get married anyway?

tradition. Medical insurance.

 
shiftypickles 2007-12-23 02:10:05 AM  
Work together to be apart

Thats what most married people do anyway.

 
hillarys strap on 2007-12-23 02:10:57 AM  
www.hardkor-sports.com

 
Smeggy Smurf 2007-12-23 02:18:10 AM  
I'm going through a messy divorce right now so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

There was no way we could have done it this way. The whore cheated on my, stole my truck, left and filed for divorce. She's so farked up she couldn't even leave me right. She ran to her folks instead of running off with one of the assholes. Then she accused me of rape and there's been an attempt to kill me.

Anybody know a good songwriter? I have the makings of a hit country song here

 
starsrift 2007-12-23 02:21:09 AM  
The only people who want to stay married are homosexual.

/ Take your "sacred marriage" to teh place of buttsecks.

 
starsrift 2007-12-23 02:21:55 AM  
Smeggy Smurf: Anybody know a good songwriter? I have the makings of a hit country song here

Real artists sing the Blues.

 
Smeggy Smurf 2007-12-23 02:48:17 AM  
There's more money in writing a country song. Only reason I'm not looking for a blues song. If I was I'd go right to the Boise Blues Society and have Lori B! and the Boys cut it.

 
Re-occupied 2007-12-23 02:50:00 AM  
I don't want to get married, I just want to get divorced.

/Not obscure

 
huckleberg 2007-12-23 02:52:50 AM  
testbenchdude: I think there should be a minimum age requirement for marriage

Even better: a five year expiration on marriage - it ends with a pre-defined result unless you re-up ... sounds crazy, but it makes perfect sense ... no more divorce! you no likey, you just waitey ... the result is predetermined by mutual agreement before the deal is done ...

 
TechieGirl [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 02:57:20 AM  
I'm not sure why these "collaborative divorces" cost so much. I'm getting ready to file and it'll cost me about $400 because neither of us are going to contest anything.

Then again, we're not involving arbitrators or lawyers, so I guess that answers that stupid question.

 
QingdaoBeerIsGood 2007-12-23 03:10:46 AM  
filmfanatic.org

 
panoplos 2007-12-23 03:16:01 AM  
This is retarted. I thought marriage was something you worked at, and build on. Now, divorce is becoming easier and easier.

My grandparents have been married over 50 farking years. My parents were married 10 years. My uncle lasted 10 also. My other uncle? 5 years. Now the younger generation: My sister and her dipshiat ex lasted 3 years. My cousin lasted 2 years. I have another cousin who was married for a few years, but that one only lasted because they were cheating on each other.

I dont know. Its cool that they are trying to rid of the hate and anger that come with divorce, but i still think that we should have something in place to help marriages grow. Especially when kids are involved.

 
Marshall Banana 2007-12-23 03:20:54 AM  
panoplos: Its cool that they are trying to rid of the hate and anger that come with divorce, but i still think that we should have something in place to help marriages grow.

Hey I heard that and I'm one of the ones going through a divorce. This really wasn't my choice - I believed (and still believe) in working at a relationship, particularly when there are children to be considered.

On the other hand you can't do that with only one member trying. I still agree with you though.

 
testbenchdude 2007-12-23 03:24:21 AM  
TurdBurglar

Of course. I misspoke. I meant that the minimum age should be mid-twenties or so. Maybe back in the 17th century you were "mature" at 17 but nowadays it's more like 25.

huckleberg

An even better suggestion. I've read some scifi books where that was the sociably accepted norm and it seemed appealing and yet somehow sad at the same time. But yeah, why not? Sorta like a driver's license that needs to be renewed every four years. But then again I do NOT want my marriage rights adjudicated by the gov't. Which sucks because that's exactly what we have now.

Hopefully someday our gov't will not be ruled by nitwits. HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA AHA HA HA ha hah ha ha h h. ha.

And I have nothing further to add because this discussion is now moot.

 
panoplos 2007-12-23 03:34:25 AM  
Marshall Banana:

Hey I heard that and I'm one of the ones going through a divorce. This really wasn't my choice - I believed (and still believe) in working at a relationship, particularly when there are children to be considered.

On the other hand you can't do that with only one member trying. I still agree with you though.


That sucks, man. Especially when you try to work at it and the person other doesnt. Good luck to you!

 
cowsspinach [TotalFark] 2007-12-23 03:43:11 AM  
Marshall Banana: Hey I heard that and I'm one of the ones going through a divorce. This really wasn't my choice - I believed (and still believe) in working at a relationship, particularly when there are children to be considered.

Same thing happend with my SO. His ex took off with another dude...After he and I talked about it, he told me she leaving him was the best thing ever happend to him. After asking him why he replies "because I got you!".


/yes its cheesy but I like it.
//no kids involved though

 
fanuvtoons 2007-12-23 03:47:29 AM  
Unknown_Poltroon: Brick Top: Why do people get married anyway?

Marriages sometimes cement business deals between powerful families. But I think marriage has only one real purpose in modern America, a social & financial 'nest' for raising children...which was really the original purpose. My favorite sci-fi author suggested that there should be only one marriage vow: to love the children, with all that implies.

I don't care if two people have irreconcilable differences, cheated on the spouse, etc.. I care if they aren't good to their children.

/Do no harm: the 0th commandment.

 
Timdesuyo 2007-12-23 05:14:39 AM  
panoplos: This is retarted.

They put the prostitutes back in? Hmm... maybe this is why there's gonna be a divorce...

 
Jamieboy 2007-12-23 05:23:48 AM  
Gidgie: Seems healthy to me. My parents shouldn't have been together to begin with, and eventually they separated it. But they did it in the way described in this article. Heck, he does work around the house when she needs it, she pays the cell phone bills for both, she's on his health we have holidays together, and they both help each other out when needed. We have holidays together, birthdays, etc.

I'm glad that if they had to divorce/separate that it was like this and not a constant war over my brother and myself. It made dealing with them both a lot easier during my childhood -- as well as now during adulthood. There's no tiptoeing, there's no rivalry, and there's a hell of a lot less fighting than when they were married. It's just generally pleasant.


Wow, Gidgie:, you were so lucky to have the parents you have. My best friends parents put him through hell during their divorce, after their divorce, and come to think of it, they are still causing trouble to this day with the grand kids. Really farked my friend up for awhile.

 
zippythechimp 2007-12-23 07:19:11 AM  
Smeggy Smurf: I'm going through a messy divorce right now so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

There was no way we could have done it this way. The whore cheated on my, stole my truck, left and filed for divorce. She's so farked up she couldn't even leave me right. She ran to her folks instead of running off with one of the assholes. Then she accused me of rape and there's been an attempt to kill me.

Anybody know a good songwriter? I have the makings of a hit country song here


This sounds like real life divorce. The people in this article are freaks. Good to see divorce rates dropping significantly.

 
Jacobin 2007-12-23 07:49:22 AM  
frenital.byu.edu

Here. Let me help you chop your head off.

/collaborative

 
PopeSchmope 2007-12-23 09:33:33 AM  
fanuvtoons: Marriages sometimes cement business deals between powerful families. But I think marriage has only one real purpose in modern America, a social & financial 'nest' for raising children...which was really the original purpose. My favorite sci-fi author suggested that there should be only one marriage vow: to love the children, with all that implies.

I don't care if two people have irreconcilable differences, cheated on the spouse, etc.. I care if they aren't good to their children.


THIS. But everything you've said is too rational for people to follow.

 
Cauchy_Riemann_equations 2007-12-23 09:55:07 AM  

 
tramis 2007-12-23 10:13:06 AM  
My whore of an ex dragged it out, killed me financially and walked away with everything.

She now has a cat shop it Franklin Tennessee.

My advice... shoot your ex.

 
Ummon 2007-12-23 10:18:03 AM  
doesn't matter, The man always gets farked

 
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