Original, if not overly clever.

Fool, Money, separated

you'd have a better chance of playing pick-up sticks with your butt cheeks

Tell them you won't give them any money because they should've sent MacGyver. MacGyver could make his OWN helicopter from items worth less than $1.42.

I have done my part. I have helped three of them escape already. And this is just the beginning!

You have been compromised. Abort mission. Destroy phone.

If I remember correctly, we had a lot of fun with an African broad who had $16.8 million she wanted to stash in my account. I had every Farker who was sober enough to type (i.e., not many) offering to go over to Africa and enlist in her service at $2500/week.

Her name is "Miss Solomon Part Zento" and her address is p­a­r­t­zento1l­iam­t­ohc­om if anyone would like to send holiday greetings.

I think she is mad at me, I told her to wait on the end of the runway with the money in a big steamer trunk and I would land my 727 at 3 AM to pick her up.

Kanemano: Fool, Money, separated

Seriously. How gullible does a person have to be to actually believe that his friend is really an undercover CIA agent?

Rookies....

Will you take a company check?

Damn, 37 seconds

Nigerian Princess? I've never heard of that one, and I hope no one's stupid enough to fall for it considering Nigeria has no Royal family. Usually it's a deposed Nigerian dictator or a member of his family. Sani Abacha's wife is the most common one, I think.

This past week Risser pleaded guilty to federal charges of impersonating a CIA officer and wire fraud for conning Rice and another man out of $20,000.

Risser, 34, was released on $20,000 bail while awaiting sentencing on March 10.

Ouch, $20,000 bail? Well, ok, just lemme make another call...

Oh cool...2 "wait, what" headlines on a Saturday!

/uh?

I got this variation the other day. At least they're trying something new.

CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION
Dear Sir,
My name is John Decker, I work with the Federal Ministry of Finance in Nigeria, and I have seen that several times people tried to divert your funds into their own personal account I mean those you call your partner in Nigeria and London.

Now I write to you in respect of the amount which I have been able to send to you through the Federal Government Diplomat who has arrived in your country, now I want you to know that the diplomat would deliver the funds which I have package as a diplomatic compensation to you in your country and the amount in the consignment is $6,000.000.00 (Six Million U.S. Dollars Only).

To this end, I did not disclose the content to the diplomat that the box contain money but I told him that it is your compensation from the Government House here in Nigeria and from our affiliate in London, I want you to know that this funds would help your financial status as I have seen in record in London and here in Nigeria that you have spent a lot trying to receive these funds. I am not demanding so much from you but Just 20% of the funds and after this I shall proceed in helping you to collect the total amount.

I want you to give me a call immediately you receive this message so that I can give you the contact information of the diplomat who has arrived in your country for the past two days and have been waiting to get your information so that he can proceed with the delivery to your doorstep.

Yours Sincerely,

John Decker
Federal Ministry of Finance.

sha sha sha!

NO WORRIES.

/Is on the way!

I'm a CIA agent stranded in Venezuela on a failed mission, and I'm hoping someone will send me ten thousand dollars for a helicopter to save me. I know that trolls sometimes inhabit these threads and I am counting on their patriotic fervor to do the right thing.

And he went back for more money?

Somebody's balls are too big for their head, methinks.

I still prefer "Omnipotent superbeing needs your money to spread his word."

They are everywhere...

A friend told , that's right, a friend, told me about
this adult dating website. You contact one of the buxom
young beauties and you get a long letter back with a
sorrow story from........west Africa...

/scam

nickkoto: Will you take a company check?

Grrrr, I was going to dig up that reference once I read the headline.

+1

Pontius Gandalf: I still prefer "Omnipotent superbeing needs your money to spread his word."

SHHHHH, we don't want to wake him.

If a CIA agent needs to rely on e-mail correspondence with some random schmo to escape a failed mission... by the time I wire them the money, their eyes will have long since been converted into croquet balls and it'll just go into the hands of the bad guys.

So, you see, by NOT sending them money, you're defending AMERICA.

I see the Hollywood writers have found something to do during the strike.

nickkoto: Will you take a company check?

That was my first thought, too. +1

In January 2006, Rice, the owner of a gun shop next to the shooting range, got Risser's plea for help. But when Risser called again about a month later seeking more money to escape another failed mission, Rice became suspicious and alerted authorities.



There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on...
... shame on you.
Fool me... ??? ...
...?? you can't get fooled again.

Funkout:Tell them you won't give them any money because they should've sent MacGyver. MacGyver could make his OWN helicopter from items worth less than $1.42.

FTW!

Jacobin: I'm a CIA agent stranded in Venezuela on a failed mission, and I'm hoping someone will send me ten thousand dollars for a helicopter to save me. I know that trolls sometimes inhabit these threads and I am counting on their patriotic fervor to do the right thing.

But are you also getting a kick out these replies?

Dogs barking. Can't fly without umbrella. Please send $$$.

The Grinch Quote 2007-12-22 07:19:11 PM
Original, if not overly clever.


Or you might say:

Over, if not originally clever.

/Only gave him $5,000, he told me he was INS.

This was the plot of a bad Whoopie Goldberg movie: "Jumpin' Jack Flash.

"CIA Agent on failed mission needs $10,000 from you to hire a helicopter to escape"

I'm sure i have seen that movie...

And out of the 300,000,000 people in the US, you think he chose you because... why?

And to think, all I got this week was an e-mail from Western Union stating that "I've got a few million dollars and wish to invest in your continents"

All it would take is 10,000 volunteers in the entire western world to shut this con down.

99.99% of the people who get this crap delete it immediately. What if there was a group to forward the message to who would assign the task of stringing along the Nigerian to a volunteer?

Nigerian scam E-mails go out and instead of getting 10 idiots and 1 million deletions, the Nigerian gangs get 10 idiots and 10,000 responses.

Now, let those farkers find the 10 good leads among the 10,000.

Six to twelve months and the whole thing collapses...

I got one of those before. I sent this back...

Thank you ever so much for your offer, sir. It's a pleasure to know there are still individuals out there who are willing to share great wealth with a random person, gleaned from the millions of email addresses in the world. I can only hope that I will be as worthy as you deem me to be.

Firstly - and most importantly - I will need the funds converted to Iraqi Dinar. I only accept cash, you understand, as it is not traceable. You will need a large truck and about 40,000 suitcases. You might get thirsty moving all of those suitcases, so you should probably bring a bottle of water to drink. May I suggest Perrier. It's an extremely tasty beverage.

I will also require a camel - medium sized - with good teeth. It's very important that the camel have good teeth. If the camel does not have good teeth, the deal is off. You must also provide a robotic camel jockey. I know a few firms that supply them, if you need help in locating one.

From now on, you will have to refer to ME as "Mr. Pickles". I will call YOU "O Rly." Do you understand? Not "Mr. Hamburger." Not "Mr. Chili Fries." - "Mr. Pickles." Yes....."Mr. Pickles" will do nicely, methinks.

I will take possession of the money outside the "La Petite Chapeau" in Chad. I will meet you in 17 hours for the exchange. I will be wearing a small hat, in the shape of a pickle. The hat will be not be green. This will be to throw off the curious onlookers, who might be staring at the camel, the robotic jockey and the 40,000 suitcases.

When you see me there, walk past - but do not stop. You must say the code words "I am the Walrus." I will respond with "We built this city. We built this city on Rock and Roll." I will then begin to play the air guitar. This is the sign that all is going according to plan. You must then take the camel and the 40,000 suitcases and place them in the string of limousines that will be waiting outside of La Petit Chapeau. The super model drivers will assist you in loading the cash. Please feel free to chat with them, but offer them no food. They might bite your fingers.

I will be looking forward to seeing you today, sir. If you are not there, I will be looking for you, as I work for the FBI and I have already traced this email to the internet cafe where you are sending this email from, and I will find you. Oh, yes - I WILL find you. I truly hope your offer was sincere.

Have a nice day,

Thomas W. Smith, III
FBI Operations Director,
Nantucket, Massachusetts

Simon surrenders... and pees himself.

Black Moses: you'd have a better chance of playing pick-up sticks with your butt cheeks

- John Candy: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

419eater.com

70Ford: I got one of those before. I sent this back...

Thank you ever so much for your offer, sir. It's a pleasure to know there are still individuals out there who are willing to share great wealth with a random person, gleaned from the millions of email addresses in the world. I can only hope that I will be as worthy as you deem me to be.

Firstly - and most importantly - I will need the funds converted to Iraqi Dinar. I only accept cash, you understand, as it is not traceable. You will need a large truck and about 40,000 suitcases. You might get thirsty moving all of those suitcases, so you should probably bring a bottle of water to drink. May I suggest Perrier. It's an extremely tasty beverage.

I will also require a camel - medium sized - with good teeth. It's very important that the camel have good teeth. If the camel does not have good teeth, the deal is off. You must also provide a robotic camel jockey. I know a few firms that supply them, if you need help in locating one.

From now on, you will have to refer to ME as "Mr. Pickles". I will call YOU "O Rly." Do you understand? Not "Mr. Hamburger." Not "Mr. Chili Fries." - "Mr. Pickles." Yes....."Mr. Pickles" will do nicely, methinks.

I will take possession of the money outside the "La Petite Chapeau" in Chad. I will meet you in 17 hours for the exchange. I will be wearing a small hat, in the shape of a pickle. The hat will be not be green. This will be to throw off the curious onlookers, who might be staring at the camel, the robotic jockey and the 40,000 suitcases.

When you see me there, walk past - but do not stop. You must say the code words "I am the Walrus." I will respond with "We built this city. We built this city on Rock and Roll." I will then begin to play the air guitar. This is the sign that all is going according to plan. You must then take the camel and the 40,000 suitcases and place them in the string of limousines that will be waiting outside of La Petit Chapeau. The super model drivers will assist you in loading the cash. Please feel free to chat with them, but offer them no food. They might bite your fingers.

I will be looking forward to seeing you today, sir. If you are not there, I will be looking for you, as I work for the FBI and I have already traced this email to the internet cafe where you are sending this email from, and I will find you. Oh, yes - I WILL find you. I truly hope your offer was sincere.

Have a nice day,

Thomas W. Smith, III
FBI Operations Director,
Nantucket, Massachusetts


Bwahahahahahahahahaah!

$10,000 for a helocopter? How about if I just get Whoopi Golgberg to get a frying pan from your kitchen?


/"Original, if not overly clever."
//Ha! The '80s called, they want their movie plot back.

GolDberg, dammit.

/preview is your friend.

70Ford: I got one of those before. I sent this back...

Comedy gold. Awesome job.

Any Pie Left: This was the plot of a bad Whoopie Goldberg movie: "Jumpin' Jack Flash.

I was hoping I wouldn't be the first to make that reference.

Gullible isn't in the dictionary.

A sense of duty will work once in awhile but you have to base your cons in greed to succeed.