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(Telegraph) Scary FBI to collect biometric data on all British visitors to America, including shape of their earlobes, after deciding dental records were all but useless   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 67
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Two Dogs Farking [TotalFark] 2007-12-22 12:05:50 PM  
Yay! We haven't had a British dentistry thread for a while.

/gets popcorn

 
Il Douchey [TotalFark] 2007-12-22 12:12:08 PM  
Sounds like we'll have an impressive, expensive dossier on all of Britian's legitimate, law abiding visitors to the U.S. -Meanwhile, the less winsome tourists from Britain (the Muslim ones, that want only death for their fellow Brits and their American hosts) will find a less legal way into our country, just as millions of "undocumented workers" have.

/More inneffective posturing from the people who make you put your toothpaste and lotion in a bag at the airport. Sad trumps funny, incompetent takes the pot.

 
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2007-12-22 12:29:06 PM  
img45.imageshack.us

 
zn0k 2007-12-22 02:11:51 PM  
Il Douchey: incompetent takes the pot.

go get your own pot, leech.

 
justinsmith354 2007-12-22 02:12:18 PM  
I'm no english major...but isn't the phrase "all but useless" implying that the subject at hand is indeed usefull?

Shouldn't it be...."all AND useless"? Because you know..."all but useless" to me says...it's funny, but NOT useless.

 
Pincy 2007-12-22 02:12:28 PM  
This is bad economic policy. We need the British to come over and spend their Euros on our cheap American goods.

 
Tax Boy 2007-12-22 02:16:16 PM  
img87.imageshack.us

Earlobes, really? Who needs 'em?

 
Oldiron_79 2007-12-22 02:16:27 PM  
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark]

Bad teeth haven't been prevailent in larger cities of the South since like the '30s, or the rural areas since like the '60s. Your stereotype is very out of date.

 
Sh0nuff 2007-12-22 02:16:33 PM  
Wow, more nanny-state shenanigans from this side of the pond as well. Brits truly are getting the shaft lately.

 
chiark 2007-12-22 02:18:03 PM  
justinsmith354: I'm no english major...but isn't the phrase "all but useless" implying that the subject at hand is indeed usefull?

No. It means completely useless apart from that last bit that would make it 100% useless.

 
stirfrybry 2007-12-22 02:23:08 PM  
chiark: justinsmith354: I'm no english major...but isn't the phrase "all but useless" implying that the subject at hand is indeed usefull?

No. It means completely useless apart from that last bit that would make it 100% useless.



For instance, if I were to chime in here to say that chiark summed it up nicely, that would be all but useless, since it's obvious he's correct.

 
Get Lost 2007-12-22 02:28:38 PM  
Profiling the British? What about them women with the veils? Will the TSA lift their fabrics and check to see if SHES A MAN, Baby.

 
corn-bread 2007-12-22 02:29:43 PM  
I can't decide if this runaway over the top reporting, or some sort of strange conspiracy with the british government.

Is this some sort of end around to get identifying features that they couldn't gather in England? Why get the FBI involved? Does the article perhaps mean DHS??

Strange.

 
Half 2007-12-22 02:31:19 PM  
Ear lobes are as distinctive as finger prints, now if we can just get the suspect to pick up a drinking glass with his ear....

Obscure reference?

 
technicolor-misfit 2007-12-22 02:34:28 PM  
This actually sounds like a remarkable way to collect data without violating any 'home country' laws like our fourth amendment.

U.S. does it on Monday.
England does it on Tuesday.
They both share data on Wednesday.

Both countries have obtained large quantities of data on their respective citizens without pesky legal considerations because they didn't collect the data themselves.

Much like how the U.S. government buys data gathered by private companies that it is legally prohibited from collecting its own.

 
tarquinrainbowtrout 2007-12-22 02:34:55 PM  
and yet we're the nanny state?

 
a dingo ate me baby 2007-12-22 02:36:01 PM  
GIS for austin powers teeth

img152.imageshack.us

 
doshus 2007-12-22 02:37:07 PM  
throw back the fat ones

 
poldie 2007-12-22 02:39:01 PM  
> Because as we all know the British were responsible for the NINE
> ELEVEN (9/11) NINE ONE ONE terrorists attacks. 9/11.

Remember remember the 11th of September...

 
tarquinrainbowtrout 2007-12-22 02:40:06 PM  
technicolor-misfit: This actually sounds like a remarkable way to collect data without violating any 'home country' laws like our fourth amendment.

U.S. does it on Monday.
England does it on Tuesday.
They both share data on Wednesday.

Both countries have obtained large quantities of data on their respective citizens without pesky legal considerations because they didn't collect the data themselves.

Much like how the U.S. government buys data gathered by private companies that it is legally prohibited from collecting its own.


indeed, the plans have been around a while and there has already been a ho-ha over the issue, on here too a few months back i believe - the EU plans to collect data on US citizens and then swap it for data on its own citizens, sneaky bastards - really put off going to the US (even more) now

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2007-12-22 02:40:36 PM  
This being a British newspaper, they are only focusing on the British aspect of it.

Of course, this applies to everyone, not just the Brits.
Under the plans, revealed by the Washington Post, the FBI database will include details on everyone who applies for a visa to enter the US.

The British concept that the universe revolves around them is just as bad as the equivalent American concept.

 
Zarkin Frood [TotalFark] 2007-12-22 02:42:18 PM  
Tax Boy: Earlobes, really? Who needs 'em?

media.monstersandcritics.com
Mr. Blonde agrees


Also, as long as they don't go spelunking in my hoo-ha, I'm strangely okay with this.

 
KramericaWallet 2007-12-22 02:42:35 PM  
Correction: FBI to collect biometric information on anyone on whose biometric information they can get their hands.

 
HowlingFrog [TotalFark] 2007-12-22 02:43:59 PM  
poldie: Remember remember the 11th of September...

...Trade Seven and treason and plot...

 
A Shambling Mound 2007-12-22 02:45:30 PM  
I wonder if they mean the entire shape of the ear and not just the earlobe. It's not like it's hard to alter the shape of the earlobe itself.

 
technicolor-misfit 2007-12-22 02:45:31 PM  
justinsmith354 - I'm no english major...but isn't the phrase "all but useless" implying that the subject at hand is indeed usefull?

Shouldn't it be...."all AND useless"? Because you know..."all but useless" to me says...it's funny, but NOT useless.



The implication in the phrase "all but useless" is that, while technically one may find some occasional or trivial use for the issue or item in question, the value of its use is negligible in comparison with the effort or cost it requires.

It's "sure, you might get/be able to do 'that,' but it is not at all worth the cost or effort of 'this.'

In short it means "not completely useless, but mostly... and thus not at all worth the investment."

 
TechieZero 2007-12-22 02:45:44 PM  
Even after 1812...I still don't trust 'em. :D

 
Zarkin Frood [TotalFark] 2007-12-22 02:46:12 PM  
Half: Ear lobes are as distinctive as finger prints, now if we can just get the suspect to pick up a drinking glass with his ear....Obscure reference?

My guts tell me CSI, but that's just because I watch way too much. Hint?

 
gimmeasammich 2007-12-22 02:46:13 PM  
Not surprising, since Britain has the most Important people in the whole world.
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3285533 (no poppies)

The Attention Whores will love it.

/ear ear then, look a' me!

 
limeyfellow 2007-12-22 03:04:51 PM  
They been taking pictures of the earlobe for years now. It used to be a requirement on everyone's greencard to give a photo facing slightly to the left to reveal the ear, but they dropped it when they found it wasn't that helpful, especially with fingerprints already being taken. About a few years ago they switch to a straight on face photo for the greencard.

Still the iris scan is quite new. Yay to big lines and invasive practices of the US. It is hard enough to get my parents to visit this country as it is, especially since they still fail to detect 9 out of 10 bomb tests, since they are content to spend their time searching me nine times in one trip from Manchester, UK to Charlotte, NC and calling me a criminal scum, who is no better than bin Laden because one year I went to the US three times.

 
justinsmith354 2007-12-22 03:17:16 PM  
When will my earlobes finally drop?

 
sanktp 2007-12-22 03:20:24 PM  
Won´t it be a lot easier to identify someone with a weird set of teeth? Shouldn´t they specifically take dental records from the British, it their teeth are as farked up as the myth goes?

/fail to sub?

 
neenerist 2007-12-22 03:25:05 PM  
Two Dogs Farking: "Yay! We haven't had a British dentistry thread for a while."

img178.imageshack.us

Free cheers!

 
DV8R 2007-12-22 03:25:08 PM  
and us dental records wouldnt be worthless? everyone with the trademark hollywood smile?

 
mark12A 2007-12-22 03:25:32 PM  
Ahhh, the delights of political correctness. They only need to track the Islamic crazies, since they are the *only* ones that try to attack stuff (haven't had any problems with mop-top Liverpudians since the Beatles) but since it's politically incorrect to single out the Islamic types, everybody gets the same treatment.

Once the Euro-Islamic civil war breaks out in about ten years, and they eject the crazy Islamic hordes from Europe, we won't need to do this anymore for European visitors.

 
pjc51 2007-12-22 03:29:16 PM  
So the article seems to imply that anyone entering under the visa waiver programme is exempt, as they never apply for a visa. As that covers anyone visiting as a tourist or for business reasons for up to 60 days (I think), the vast majority of British visitors won't be affected at all.

 
Tanqueray 2007-12-22 03:31:22 PM  
cashed: Because as we all know the British were responsible for the NINE ELEVEN (9/11)

As good a guess as any...

 
tarquinrainbowtrout 2007-12-22 03:41:05 PM  
pjc51: So the article seems to imply that anyone entering under the visa waiver programme is exempt, as they never apply for a visa. As that covers anyone visiting as a tourist or for business reasons for up to 60 days (I think), the vast majority of British visitors won't be affected at all.

well spotted, i'd forgotten we're exempt from visas - we're honoured, truly, thankyou, america, for your graciousness to allow us entry into your hallowed land (and then threaten to remove because we don't take our shoes off)

 
RidgeRacerZX6 2007-12-22 03:49:22 PM  
Of course no word on how much its going to cost. I wonder how many of you who think this is ok would still think so if it costs 10 billion? 100 billion? More and more I think a lot of these security measures are under taken not because of a real security need or a true desire to create a fascist state but because some war on terror equivalent of a defense contractor is going to make a bundle. (terror contractor?)

You know how the conservatives are always pushing privatization saying corporations can do it better....well when it comes to throwing tax dollars down a rat hole they are right.

And when they finally mandate that every citizen needs to have an RFID chip implanted in there arm you can bet it will be because the RFID lobby finally bought off enough congressman and the Bush's and Bin Laden's of the Carlyle Group will own the company that gets the contract.

 
RidgeRacerZX6 2007-12-22 03:51:54 PM  
Is fascism for profit redundant?

 
krackpipe 2007-12-22 03:52:42 PM  
The effort is to obtain worldwide biometrics on as many people as possible. Incidentally, catch and release arrests are on the rise. They can also be about a crime, but it's preferable to at least arrest because biometrics are gathered during arrests. This has been going on with intelligence targets for a long time, but it has grown as a policy. As for the British nationals, again this is actually part of the world-wide plan. Even the FBI is doing one: Recent Yahoo News Link (new window)

 
cmb53208 2007-12-22 03:53:42 PM  
So does that mean the US will collect biometric data on Saudi citizens coming into our country, given that it's the nation home to most of the 9/11 hijackers? Oh wait, that's right, we don't want to offend Muslims! Never mind, just another silly taxpayer thinking more of his money will be flushed down the shiatter.

 
mikaloyd 2007-12-22 04:08:05 PM  
justinsmith354: I'm no english major...but isn't the phrase "all but useless" implying that the subject at hand is indeed usefull?

Shouldn't it be...."all AND useless"? Because you know..."all but useless" to me says...it's funny, but NOT useless.


Useless is a concept that cannot be reached with todays technology for any length of time. The condition of useless is terribly unstable. A team of crack scientists from Duke university once developed a completely useless artifact, however they made a crucial error when they published their work by using the artifact as an example of something that is completely useless. They were scoffed at by all of their peers and the artifact was lost, presumed to be buried in a hazardous waste landfill in Kentucky.

 
HowlingFrog [TotalFark] 2007-12-22 04:08:54 PM  
RidgeRacerZX6: And when they finally mandate that every citizen needs to have an RFID chip implanted in there arm you can bet it will be because the RFID lobby finally bought off enough congressman and the Bush's and Bin Laden's of the Carlyle Group will own the company that gets the contract.

It's all part of the Endgame (movie, pops).

 
tarquinrainbowtrout 2007-12-22 04:10:15 PM  
cashed: Because as we all know the British were responsible for the NINE ELEVEN (9/11) NINE ONE ONE terrorists attacks. 9/11.

Nine eleven.

September 11th. 911. 9/11.

/carry on


has anyone ever considered that only americans use the month/day/year date format - would middle-easterns, or british think 'oooh sept 11th, that's 9-1-1 in yank - that'll have meaning' - it would've been the 9th nov, and therefore i conclude that it was clearly a set-up by the bush government

 
catfishdog 2007-12-22 04:16:22 PM  
Researchers at West Virginia University are working on technology for the FBI that will let them capture images of people's irises at distances of up to 15 feet, and of faces from as far away as 200 yards, without them even knowing.

Haven't they been doing this for years already? WTF? Orwell was right...soon, very soon, we will have that global database of biometric data on every human that walks the earth. And then....SIGNAL LOST...

 
goldenduke 2007-12-22 04:54:55 PM  
I am delighted that they will be cracking down on the Brits. I am an American living and working in Germany for over 10 years. I hold an unlimited work visa for Germany and all countries in the "Schengen Zone". One year ago I was hired by an English company (a well known one) to manage their fiber optic network in London. I traveled to Calais with a moving van and all my possessions in tow. I was stopped by Her Majesty's Immigration Officials, denied entry and detained for 6 hours while numerous border cops quizzed me with questions about my intentions in Great Britain in a blatantly anti-American tone. What a freakin' disaster. Ironically, my friend Jan, A German citizen, could travel freely no problem. How bizarre. The American gets detained going to England and the German can continue unimpeded. Apparently the laws were changed after the terrorism events of July 2005 in London...so they decided to exclude all non EU citizens. Bear in mind, dumps like Slovenia and Romania are now allowed easy access to the UK...but not Americans, the Brits' "Biggest Ally".

I say take their biometric data and anything else that might annoy them and keep them away from the US. The Brits are not our allies...they're not even our friends. We should treat them as they treat us, with as much disrespect as possible. Remind them who is in charge.

 
MonkeyBoy666 2007-12-22 04:59:13 PM  
cashed: Because as we all know the British were responsible for the NINE ELEVEN (9/11) NINE ONE ONE terrorists attacks. 9/11. Nine eleven. September 11th. 911. 9/11.

Stop that, I'm having 2004 GOP Convention flashbacks.

Though maybe I'm seeing flashforwards from the 2008 GOP Convention...

Crap! I knew it! My tinfoil fell off!

 
MonkeyBoy666 2007-12-22 05:00:12 PM  
goldenduke: Remind them who is in charge.

The Illuminati?

 
Two Dogs Farking [TotalFark] 2007-12-22 05:09:06 PM  
goldenduke: I hold an unlimited work visa for Germany and all countries in the "Schengen Zone"...

I think I see the fault in your reasoning. First of all, England and Ireland have their own visa regime. Neither are in the Schengen zone. Ireland would like to join, but their existing agreement with the UK (who are vehemently against joining) prohibits them. Secondly, a Schengen visa is a travel visa/residence permit, not a work visa. You can travel to any Schengen country on business - to attend meetings or visit a trade show, for example, but if you want to take a job or assignment for any period of time, you need a work visa for that country. Read about it here (oddly not updated to reflect the 7 new Schengen members as of yesterday).

Also Slovenia is a lovely place. When you say "dump", you're thinking of Slovakia (at least if you believed what you saw in EuroTrip).

 
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