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(Slate) Interesting Southern Baptists v. the Mormons: A history   (slate.com) divider line 69
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2058 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 Dec 2007 at 2:13 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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chimp_ninja [TotalFark] 2007-12-20 02:09:04 PM  
But where do the candidates stand on unicorns vs. leprechauns?

 
bugmn99 2007-12-20 02:17:43 PM  
What? Which one is more Christ-like?? You probably have a better chance with those unicorns and leprechauns.

 
madcow66 2007-12-20 02:18:34 PM  
Southern Baptists v. the Mormons: A historyThe cage match. More img1.fark.com

 
Spindle 2007-12-20 02:18:51 PM  
Most Americans know little about Mormonism, aside from rumors about the sacred undergarments some Mormons wear.

Wha?

 
Cambo_ 2007-12-20 02:21:23 PM  
Oh my, another religious flamewar.

Popcorn, anyone?

 
Donald_McRonald 2007-12-20 02:21:28 PM  
"Hey you, your ridiculous fairy tale is different from ours!"

Fin.

 
mmagdalene [TotalFark] 2007-12-20 02:22:10 PM  

 
superstevo 2007-12-20 02:27:27 PM  
i love when two competing religious wackjobs argue over who is more wacky, who has the favor of the invisible divine entity, and who's "holy" books represents the truth...

Answer from everyone else: None of the above.

Ohh look, your crazy is showing.

 
Jim_Callahan 2007-12-20 02:30:25 PM  
Spindle: Most Americans know little about Mormonism, aside from rumors about the sacred undergarments some Mormons wear.

Wha?


A variant of this sentence is used to stir up trouble whenever some hack doesn't want to actually put the effort into creating an informative article and decides to shortcut to notoriety instead. Pick a suitably odd custom, word it negatively, and *bam*:

"Most Americans know little about Catholicism, aside from rumors about the ritual drowning attempts made on babies."

"Most Americans know little about Protestantism, aside from rumors about the careless juggling of venomous creatures near children."

Hell, I can even do better than that:
"Most Americans know little about Christianity, aside from rumors about their regular consumption of the still-warm raw living flesh of the world's kindest humans."


You get the idea. I'm going to avoid jokes about islam, judaism, and jainism due to rumors about their ritual starvation to thepoint of dementia, genital mutilation, and self-immolation. And atheists due to rumors that you can't be considered a real atheist until you develop a cynical disdain for all that is good and holds society together.

//Ok, stopping now.
//That's far more fun than it should be.

 
Paedophile_Deluxe 2007-12-20 02:33:07 PM  
Joseph Smith is a moron for letting those golden plates get away. It's like "I have these golden plates that will make me massively wealthy either as proof of what I say or as a lot of f*cking gold, but I'm just going to give them away..."

 
Aarontology [TotalFark] 2007-12-20 02:33:23 PM  
Oh boy! A religious flamewar!

img408.imageshack.us

 
Donald_McRonald 2007-12-20 02:36:46 PM  
Spindle: Wha?

In some denominations of the Latter Day Saint movement, the temple garment (or the Garment of the Holy Priesthood, or informally, the garment or garments, or "Mormon underwear" by non-Mormons) is a set of sacred underclothing worn by adult adherents who have taken part in a ritual ceremony known as washing and anointing ordinance, usually in a temple as part of the Endowment ceremony. In modern times, the temple garment is worn primarily by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) along with several small religious groups who separated from the LDS Church. Adherents consider them to be sacred and may be offended by public discussion of the garments. Anti-Mormon activists have publicly displayed or defaced temple garments to show their opposition to the LDS Church.

 
The_Sponge [TotalFark] 2007-12-20 02:37:33 PM  
This would be more interesting:

The Raider Nation vs. The Red Sox Nation.

 
FarkOf40000Years 2007-12-20 02:38:50 PM  
How can there be a false Christianity if there is no true Christianity?

 
Cambo_ 2007-12-20 02:51:18 PM  
FarkOf40000Years: How can there be a false Christianity if there is no true Christianity?

Every Christianity would be a false Christianity. So really, in calling the other false, they'd both be right about something.

 
fawlty 2007-12-20 02:52:26 PM  
superstevo: i love when two competing religious wackjobs argue over who is more wacky, who has the favor of the invisible divine entity, and who's "holy" books represents the truth.

FTFA: The Mormon Church has met efforts from the SBC and other evangelical groups with silence.

Who's arguing? The SBC makes wild allegations and the LDS Church stands on its own merits rather than drop to the SBC's level. The LDS Church sounds pretty classy to me.

 
neilio42 2007-12-20 03:05:47 PM  
FTA: The SBC's Sunday School Board developed an instruction kit, "The Christian Confronting the Cults," that covered five religious groups: the Mormon Church, Jehovah's Witnesses, the Worldwide Church of God, the Unification Church (the Moonies), and Christian Scientists.

As a member of the Worldwide Church of God as a child, I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

On a side note, Babtist suck. What a stuck-up form of Christianity!!

 
superstevo 2007-12-20 03:09:21 PM  
fawlty
LDS Church stands on its own merits

buahahhahahahahahaha. wow, you made my day. That one comment will make me chuckle all day long.

You realize that the "wild" allegations are +90% correct, and the Mormons just change the subject. Great way to win an argument is to toss so many red herrings out that you drown the opponent with fish.

 
ifarkthereforiam 2007-12-20 03:11:39 PM  
I get the feeling the republican convention will boil to to who is the holiest holy roller of them all.

 
Cambo_ 2007-12-20 03:17:59 PM  
ifarkthereforiam: I get the feeling the republican convention will boil to to who is the holiest holy roller of them all.

I don't know, Giuliani is leading in the polls and he's pro-choice. Maybe the Republicans have realized that they'll never elect an openly born again president after what Bush did.

 
swahnhennessy 2007-12-20 03:18:27 PM  
Having grown up Southern Baptist, I can attest to the fierce anti-Mormonism. Heck, it's about all I've retained from my God-fearing youth.

 
atlanta_ufo 2007-12-20 03:23:03 PM  
Are You Ready To Rumble !

 
fawlty 2007-12-20 03:27:59 PM  
superstevo: You realize that the "wild" allegations are +90% correct, and the Mormons just change the subject. Great way to win an argument is to toss so many red herrings out that you drown the opponent with fish.

FTFA: The Mormon Church has met efforts from the SBC and other evangelical groups with silence.

I see, in your mind standing in silence and ignoring those who fling false allegations = changing the subject and tossing red herrings.

YOU FAIL. In fact, you fail so bad I'm not even going to bother pulling up one of our nice "YOU FAIL" captioned pics. You're not worth the trouble.

 
Paedophile_Deluxe 2007-12-20 03:32:57 PM  
fawlty: I see, in your mind standing in silence and ignoring those who fling false allegations = changing the subject and tossing red herrings.

What false allegations? That they wear special underwear? That Jesus and Satan are brothers? Maybe they realize that their doctrines are actually silly, and that speaking out about them will just bring more attention to them.

That's not to say that mainstream Christianity isn't silly either, but most people were brought up in its silliness and implicitly accept it.

 
wowzer97pooh 2007-12-20 03:36:39 PM  
Southern Baptists v. The World: A Lifestyle

/If it's nay Southern Baptist, it's crap from the Devil!

 
GilRuiz1 2007-12-20 03:40:09 PM  
Well, to be fair, the Mormons started it by saying that all previous Christian denominations were lies. You can read Joseph Smith's own account of how he came to start the Latter Day Saints at the Mormon church's own biography of Joseph Smith here (new window).

Here's an excerpt, where Joseph Smith meets God the Father and Jesus and asks them which Christian denomination is the right one:

"I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in His sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: 'they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.'"
"He again forbade me to join with any of them; and many other things did he say unto me, which I cannot write at this time.


So if a new denomination starts up and the very first thing it says is that all the others are an abomination in God's sight, you can hardly be surprised that there will be trouble later on.

 
grxymkjbn 2007-12-20 03:47:45 PM  
Paedophile_Deluxe: Maybe they realize that their doctrines are actually silly, and that speaking out about them will just bring more attention to them.


oh, no no NO! Everyone ELSE's religion is silly; MINE is the capital-T TRUTH, straight from God!

/so sayeth every religionist.

 
Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom 2007-12-20 03:48:03 PM  
Josph Smith: "Everything I claim can be proven beyond any doubt simply by examining the magic heavenly golden plates."

Ateists: "May we examine them now, please?"

Joseph Smith:
"An angel took them to heaven. But you can read this handwritten copy, printed on non-magical paper, which I dictated to my friends."

 
Counter_Intelligent 2007-12-20 03:48:23 PM  
GilRuiz1: So if a new denomination starts up and the very first thing it says is that all the others are an abomination in God's sight, you can hardly be surprised that there will be trouble later on.

They were right about the Southern Baptists, though.

 
superstevo 2007-12-20 03:49:15 PM  
fawlty
I see, in your mind standing in silence and ignoring those who fling false allegations = changing the subject and tossing red herrings.

YOU FAIL. In fact, you fail so bad I'm not even going to bother pulling up one of our nice "YOU FAIL" captioned pics. You're not worth the trouble.



1) The false allegations aren't FALSE. They do wear the silly underwear. They actually do believe that a lost tribe of jews came to America. All these things we make fun of them about, i have never hear Mormons argue they aren't true. Which leads to part 2.

2) You really honestly think Mormons just stand there in silence. Not any Mormon i have even met. They have entire Pro-Mormon websites that devoted to justifying their wacky ways. They are most certainly not silent. Most will throw red herrings about what other religions believe, quote the extremely wrong Pro-LDS website, or they just say they don't like to think about it. I have never met a violent or confrontational Mormon, and generally, they don't like to argue. Evasion is classic, since i have read, and asked about it, that being "contentious" is seen as extremely bad and a sign of being possessed by demons.

Nothing says FAIL, like the moron who cries FAIL.

 
Krymore 2007-12-20 03:52:55 PM  
GilRuiz1: all the others are an abomination in God's sight,

You pretty much just described Southern Baptist doctrine in its entirety.

 
drhansenej 2007-12-20 03:54:11 PM  
Two religions enter, one religion leaves.

 
Guntram Shatterhand 2007-12-20 03:54:22 PM  
You know, if you don't want your religions to be mocked, maybe you shouldn't be so hardcore about wearing them on your sleeve and telling everybody about them repeatedly. Personal beliefs to remain personal is a good thing.

 
Pro Zack [TotalFark] 2007-12-20 04:02:02 PM  
superstevo: Nothing says FAIL, like the moron who cries FAIL.

There is no FAIL like MORONIC FAIL?

 
helix400 2007-12-20 04:04:03 PM  
That article wasn't too bad. Most articles on these topics miss key points. This covered its topics better than most reporters would have done.

I'd add that Baptists generally are more cultural than they are doctrinal. They honestly don't care about doctrine, in fact, most members avoid trying to state doctrine beyond Jesus Christ. I'd say only about 2% of Baptists are correctly able to explain their doctrine of the Trinity. Most Baptists honestly spend more time going to church and praising Jesus than they worry about doctrinal sticky points.

That said, most members weren't bad. They just weren't great either. I found them most obnoxious and confrontational of any Christian denomination in the South. And preachers of course frequently were the opposite of Christ-like attributes.

/Served a Mormon mission in the South where I discussed religion with Baptists every day for 2 years.

 
Paedophile_Deluxe 2007-12-20 04:12:15 PM  
grxymkjbn: oh, no no NO! Everyone ELSE's religion is silly; MINE is the capital-T TRUTH, straight from God!

/so sayeth every religionist.


Yeah, I guess the second half of my post was too hard to read.

 
wingnut396 2007-12-20 04:12:17 PM  
You know, maybe it is good that we are over in Iraq bombing those damn, infidel Muslims. Because if the Baptists and other fundies didn't have someone to hate, they would want to start bombing Mormon and Catholics. You know, to prove that they are more Christian.

 
Anonymocoso 2007-12-20 04:24:22 PM  
Mormons wear funny underwear, think that BYU deserved to win the 1984 National Championship and think that the Utah Jazz is a watchable basketball team.

But no Mormon has lynched anyone since the 19th century. The mid 19th century.

Compare & contrast.

 
rppp01a 2007-12-20 04:48:12 PM  
Anonymocoso: Mormons wear funny underwear, think that BYU deserved to win the 1984 National Championship and think that the Utah Jazz is a watchable basketball team.

But no Mormon has lynched anyone since the 19th century. The mid 19th century.

Compare & contrast.


I wore that funny underwear, watched those funny movies in the temple wearing those funny outfits. I served a funny mission and got into many bible battles with other religions. I walked away from it and resigned my membership when I was in my late 20s. I know something of the mormon church.

I do love how the current prophet believed in the while salamander (new window) forged documents when they came out.

Kind of like how Joe Smith fell for and translated fake plates (new window).

/reasons why my family doesn't talk to me much/

 
helix400 2007-12-20 04:55:23 PM  
rppp01a: I do love how the current prophet believed in the while salamander (new window) forged documents when they came out.

Kind of like how Joe Smith fell for and translated fake plates (new window)./


The first is true. I've seen Dallan H. Oaks defend it. The second example is almost certainly not true.

The fake plates was a trap, and the perpetrators didn't come out and say the trap was successful until decades later when everyone
else involved was dead. I suppose those people could be telling the truth, but it doesn't make any sense that they went into all that effort to try and deceive others, only to shut up about it for decades.

/Not attacking you, you've been even-handed. Just clarifying.

 
jgbrowning 2007-12-20 04:56:17 PM  
Hopefully it ends in a double fatality.

 
CrankMyBlueSax 2007-12-20 05:12:07 PM  

Fark the religtards, this is the matchup I'm waiting for.

www.silverbulletcomics.com

 
Time Traveler 2007-12-20 05:33:08 PM  
What's wrong with Jockey Briefs??

 
Gamer Grrrl [TotalFark] 2007-12-20 06:44:20 PM  
I have absolutely no problem with Mormons. I know many of them, and they are all good folk. They're very tolerant of other people's beliefs, which is unsurprising considering the flack they STILL get. Southern Baptists, however, almost always attempt to shove their square religion into my round hole (ha ha).

I have many Mormon friends. I have ZERO Baptist friends.

/atheist

 
Durendal [TotalFark] 2007-12-20 07:17:41 PM  
Mormons are kooky, but most that I've known have been very nice folks. Southern Baptists, however, tend to be kinda asshattish. If I had to root for one or the other in this epic battle, I'd be cheering for the Mormons. Weird is better than dickhole.

 
mylonitic 2007-12-20 07:28:23 PM  
Anonymocoso: Mormons wear funny underwear, think that BYU deserved to win the 1984 National Championship and think that the Utah Jazz is a watchable basketball team.

But no Mormon has lynched anyone since the 19th century. The mid 19th century.

Compare & contrast.


I've had it up the HERE with you people telling me what I believe in. I'm Mormon and I absolutely do NOT think that BYU deserved to win the 1984 national championship. The Jazz, on the other hand, are watchable when they are playing well. Not so much this year.

/Bo Diddley Tech for the win

 
Durendal [TotalFark] 2007-12-20 07:34:49 PM  
The fake plates was a trap, and the perpetrators didn't come out and say the trap was successful until decades later when everyone
else involved was dead. I suppose those people could be telling the truth, but it doesn't make any sense that they went into all that effort to try and deceive others, only to shut up about it for decades.


Yet they were fake and were verified as such in the 1960s and 1980s, and Smith did claim to be translating them. That much is known, and kinda invalidates Smith as a divine translator when he comes up with a bogus story about the genealogy of Ham being contained in them. Kinda like The Pearl of Great Price being regular ol' Egyptian burial documents.

 
LegalizeThoughtCrime 2007-12-20 07:36:30 PM  
Durendal
Mormons are kooky, but most that I've known have been very nice folks. Southern Baptists, however, tend to be kinda asshattish.

I would tend to agree:
whenever i hear of a Major disaster in a "heathen" country:
1) Religion A's members rejoice in the punishment for those who have refused to embrace the Great Forgiver;
2) Religion B's members send a C-130 full of canned food from their massive stockpiles and go to relieve the suffering.

WWJD? WWFSMD? WWWTF?

 
Gamer Grrrl [TotalFark] 2007-12-20 07:45:17 PM  
LegalizeThoughtCrime: Durendal
Mormons are kooky, but most that I've known have been very nice folks. Southern Baptists, however, tend to be kinda asshattish.

I would tend to agree:
whenever i hear of a Major disaster in a "heathen" country:
1) Religion A's members rejoice in the punishment for those who have refused to embrace the Great Forgiver;
2) Religion B's members send a C-130 full of canned food from their massive stockpiles and go to relieve the suffering.

WWJD? WWFSMD? WWWTF?


No no, for Mormons it's "Do the Right." DTR, baby.

 
Durendal [TotalFark] 2007-12-20 07:47:18 PM  
No no, for Mormons it's "Do the Right." DTR, baby.

CTR, actually, for Choose the Right.

 
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