shiatty headline, shiattier article. Rumors reported as fact! Yay!

I'm awaiting for Jay-Z to remix the upgrade commercial with the beatles.

Ten years ago



Now



Do not want.

She'll get upgraded.

Yay! Now they can suck together!

Jay-Z has a freakishly small head. Can't he spare some of his fortune to buy a head that fits his body?

Millions_Knives: Yay! Now they can suck together!

Too late for that.

She can do so much better than that negro.


//like me

LEMME LEMME LEMME UPGRADE YA

/now its stuck
//in you head for days

And thus completes the annoying diva trifecta.

Off Topic: Does that mean that they are only married in Paris? I've always wondered about that since in most ceremonies they say 'by the powers invested in me by the state of..." Does there marriage only count in one state?

beal99: LEMME LEMME LEMME UPGRADE YA

/now its stuck
//in you head for days

that got annoying very quickly. Like after they played it five times in one commercial break.

Tattoo rings, very oringinal.

I was married in a salt cave under the complex known as AREA 51 and a Venusian mer-man was the minister. I gave my bride the secret formula for coke as a wedding gift. For our honeymoon we flew to California on our matching heli-bikes and started wildfires. We made love that night in a hot tub filled with liquid diamonds and drank champagne made of finely ground hummingbirds.

Is Upgrayedd her pimp?

Millions_Knives: Yay! Now they can suck together!

Indeed

Just a rumor so far? They muss na know 'bow her, they muss na know 'bow her.

/to da leff, to da leff
//all the text margins will align to da leff

absoluteparanoia: Do not want.

Yeah, as that awkward stop-action photo shows, she clearly is below your standards.

Seriously, if you were at the bar and Beyonce showed an interest in you, you'd pass out as all your blood ran straight to your wiener. Give me a break.

Good for them. This will truly be a legendary marriage that will last a lunchtime.

absoluteparanoia: Ten years ago



Now



Do not want.

Ten years ago, now, ten years from now, and probably 20 years from now.... I will hit.

TWO UNTALENTED PEOPLE NATURALLY DRAWN TO ONE ANOTHER

lordofthefries: Millions_Knives: Yay! Now they can suck together!

Too late for that.

ok, now they suck together in a legally binding way.

Why did she marry a gay guy?

cartersdad: beal99: LEMME LEMME LEMME UPGRADE YA

/now its stuck
//in you head for days

that got annoying very quickly. Like after they played it five times in one commercial break.

I hate that song so much

Someone tell the Fat Lady she's on in 5!

If I see that UPGRADE commercial one more time I am going to...

sit through it and complain bitterly about how annoying and stereotypical it is.

OH BEYONCE PUT DAT GOLDS UPGRADE BLING IN YA MOUFS ONE MO TIME!

TheNewJesus: If I see that UPGRADE commercial one more time I am going to...

sit through it and complain bitterly about how annoying and stereotypical it is.

OH BEYONCE PUT DAT GOLDS UPGRADE BLING IN YA MOUFS ONE MO TIME!

changing the channel also helps to ease the pain.

Control_this: She'll get upgraded.



/The two D's are for a double-dose of pimpin.

TonnageVT:

changing the channel also helps to ease the pain.

I would have but I was watching a Cinemax late night flick featuring your wife being banged by 7 water buffalo. I mean, cmon, worth sitting through even the most annoying commercials.

/loved her tats

I just sorta wanna snuggle with her. She looks comfy in all the right places. fark the upgrade.

The tattoos on the ring fingers worked so well for Pam and Tommy Lee - I can only hope they have the same amount of happiness (video) as Pam and Tommy

i've seen her in a cut-off tank top with no bra. WANT

davynelson: TWO UNTALENTED PEOPLE NATURALLY DRAWN TO ONE ANOTHER

WRONG!

I'm not a huge fan of Beyonce or Jay Z, but you can't really deny their talent. Not liking their music is a matter of taste not talent, and if they had no talent, they wouldn't be as respected IN THEIR CIRCLES as they are. I'm not saying they make good music, or music that you should like. I'm only saying that Beyonce can indeed sing, and Jay Z can certainly make many rap albums that sell in the millions. What have you done with your life again?

TheNewJesus: If I see that UPGRADE commercial one more time I am going to...

sit through it and complain bitterly about how annoying and stereotypical it is.

OH BEYONCE PUT DAT GOLDS UPGRADE BLING IN YA MOUFS ONE MO TIME!

Truly, when I saw this commercial it seemed like a SNL skit.

carmody: Yeah, as that awkward stop-action photo shows, she clearly is below your standards.

Seriously, if you were at the bar and Beyonce showed an interest in you, you'd pass out as all your blood ran straight to your wiener. Give me a break.

What if I was racist? You didn't think of that--did you?

hachijuhachi
I'm not a huge fan of Beyonce or Jay Z, but you can't really deny their talent. Not liking their music is a matter of taste not talent, and if they had no talent, they wouldn't be as respected IN THEIR CIRCLES as they are. I'm not saying they make good music, or music that you should like. I'm only saying that Beyonce can indeed sing, and Jay Z can certainly make many rap albums that sell in the millions. What have you done with your life again?

Them theres.

I would not refer to Jay Z as stupid. The man was on the cover of Fortune for his business. Worth about 290 million dollars last I heard.

Beyonce, OTOH, I know little about.

Millions_Knives: lordofthefries: Millions_Knives: Yay! Now they can suck together!

Too late for that.

ok, now they suck together in a legally binding way.

Well, they had to get a license to suck that much. That's all there is to it.

absoluteparanoia: Do not want.

The hell's wrong with you son?

What if I was racist? You didn't think of that--did you?

Uh, I guess there's that. No, still wouldn't stop me.

What's this "upgrade" thing?

Hope he got a pre-nup...she's worth a lot of money but he's worth a lot more.

Derwood: i've seen her in a cut-off tank top with no bra. WANT

Pics or it didn't happen.

Young Reezy sez: "Y'all is some punk-ass, biatchin' ass hata'z!"

Seriously, though, Beyonce is a fine looking woman, and Jay-Z, regardless of his shady past, has turned into a hell of a businessman. Any hate directed at them by the average Farker is either a product of A) Extreme Jealousy, or B) Run-Of-The-Mill Racism.

/as far as Beyonce's booty is concerned...I'd eat that like it was pudding
//Then go spearfishing for her doo-doo sharks (props to danl)

Jay-Z and Beyonce = Very talented individuals
Beyonce = Bloody hot

/stop being a hater

ColSanders: Derwood: i've seen her in a cut-off tank top with no bra. WANT

Pics or it didn't happen.



Close enough.

Keith Moon: Jay-Z and Beyonce = Very talented individuals
Beyonce = Bloody hot

/stop being a hater

Beyonce may be cute but there is no way you can call them talented they are marketable and good at it but there is no talent in that.

/stop being a h8ter of the h8ters

I hope he's ready for that jelly.

steamingpile

There's no talent in being good at your profession and being marketable? Really?

/start making sense

mooseyfate: Pics or it didn't happen.

Close enough.


BING BONG HELLO

FTA:'According to MediaTakeOut.com, a close relative of the Knowles family said Carter and the R&B beauty decided against the traditional exchanging of rings and chose to get matching tattoos with a personal inscription on their ring fingers instead.'


No matter what the color, low-brow trash is still low-brow trash.

I don't know if this is true, but why on earth would anyone hate them for it? It's not even a sudden thing.

And if you really wouldn't have sex with Beyonce, there is something truly bizarre about your tastes. I think even gay men would say, "Hm...in this case I should at least try it out."