This reads way too much like an internet bully speaking, way too much.

One kick to the 'nads and you go down.

Penis.

I'm glad somebody else is out there thinking about these things.

With or without a car?

Well...that was a complete waste of time.

farked already?

I think about stuff like this all the time. Sometimes I wonder how many dogs I could fight before they ate me.

I estimate that I could physically satisfy nine or ten Scandinavian supermodels before I succumbed to exhaustion.

not sure what this article is full of, but said substance is good

"Future linebackers, NBA players, and all Scandinavian children would throw off this equation."

haha

My friends and I discuss this question in terms of 12 year olds and 18 year old girls. In both cases we determined that the answer is around 12

Ron Bennington is not impressed.

and just in time for Christmas!

If you had a cup, it couldn't be too hard to take down more than that.

My 4-year-old nephew was jumping off a couch into my arms, over and over. I told him, finally, that we had to stop. "One more time, one more time!" he pleaded. So I said "okay," and opened my arms. Little bastard kicked me in the nuts.

Number of 4-year-olds I can beat up: zero (if they pull off a sneak attack).

NO wai cause 12 year olds these days might have a gun/guns

Binklord: This reads way too much like an internet bully speaking, way too much.

I disagree. It read like it's headline. A realistic view of fighting a gang of twelve year-olds. In some places, this has been known to happen.

Old news. I can't find the original blog I found this on but it's like 4 years old.

already farked???

But how many could this guy take if he was wearing smoke pants?

-A bowl of gravy

MattyFridays: Ron Bennington is not impressed.

Ronnie is a true hero.

www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com (new window)

linked farked

I am a second degree black belt, and have actually taught classes to a room of thirty or so 8-12 year olds.

Realistically, you might take 4-5 down in a straight up fight before the others started dogpiling on you and finishing you off. But the first 4-5 relies on taking them out on a single punch/kick... jsut like breaking boards or or concrete patio blocks

Cosmo Kramer wanted for questioning...

Jerry: You guys both have class at the same time?
Kramer: No, we're in the same class.
Jerry: What do you mean you're in the same class?
Kramer: He almost beat me.
Jerry: Kramer, you're fighting children?!
Kramer: We're all at the same skill level, Jerry.
Jerry: He's nine years old! You don't need karate, you can just wring his neck!

I feel like ive read this somewhere before...

farked like your mom

I don't know how many, but I would love to find out.

I think a big part of the equation is the mind set of the 12 year olds. Are they pissed off, been pissed on their entire life, didn't get enough of their daddy's love, don't give a shiat if they live or die? I would say 5 of them would be enough to bring down most men. On the other hand, if it's a bunch of 12 year old emo's with mommy issues, been living in the basement coloring their hair black while writing bad poems, it might take an army of them to bring down a man.

flanger001: Old news. I can't find the original blog I found this on but it's like 4 years old.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/8schweiger.html

I suppose it depends on how much fear I can instill in the many by taking out the first couple in the most brutal way possible.

If you can rip the arms off the first two and stab the next two in the eyes with the first two's recently detached arms, causing permanent damage, the remainder of them may hesitate.

For some reason I keep thinking about that scene in Alpha Dog when Ben Foster kicks the shiat out of everybody at that Asian party.

12 years old is not THAT young. A few of the bigger, tougher 7th graders could probably fark this guy up.

As a sixth-grade teacher, I probably think of beating up 12-year olds more often than most.

Boy 12 year old say 150 to wear me down and kill me.
Girl 8 or 9 to wear me down

Phantoms5000: Cosmo Kramer wanted for questioning...

Jerry: You guys both have class at the same time?
Kramer: No, we're in the same class.
Jerry: What do you mean you're in the same class?
Kramer: He almost beat me.
Jerry: Kramer, you're fighting children?!
Kramer: We're all at the same skill level, Jerry.
Jerry: He's nine years old! You don't need karate, you can just wring his neck!

GIS fails me, but that remains one of my all-time favorites.

Am I the only one hearing the Star Trek fight music in their head while reading this story?

As the link seems farked, a good opportunity to hear the classic.

Rock-a-Hula

Elaine: Karamer! What are you doing?!
Kramer: Well, I'm dominating.

/Farking classic.

UberNeuman: Am I the only one hearing the Star Trek fight music in their head while reading this story?

Yes.

subby: "A realistic assessment of how many 12-year-olds I could beat up have sex with before they overtook me arrested me"

I'd say a handful

/hold on, somebody at the door

DemDave: www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com (new window)

28.

DemDave: www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com (new window)

26

this person has never seen my 12 year old kid

freak of nature freak of nature is all i can say
6 foot tall and 230 pounds

DemDave: www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com (new window)

32

lack of weapondry makes it lower as I've always sucked at fisticuffs.

give me a pool cue and I'll straight fark up some 5 year olds.

34 5-year-olds to take me down.
I could be a teacher.

Knowing my luck, I might manage to take out one before all of their parent's lawyers show up and give me a lawsuit-smack-down while the other kids point and laugh.

/Sir Robin

/Link farked already?

DemDave: www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com (new window)

27

30 5-year-olds
59% chance in a zombie apocalypse

/now wheres that 5-year-old zombie-apocalypse quiz?