I approve.

..and I bet they still charged him .11 cents for BBQ Sauce.

Maybe he heard that Burger King had discontinued the Whopper, and flew into a rage.

now that's a Whopper Freakout!

Since when does Downers Grove have its own newspaper?

Skonie "also admitted he had been using cocaine over the past two weeks but had not been able to score any today,"

.. farking distribution...fark ups...

But did he get that freak, the king?

//diarrhea

Dear onion rings with tangy sauce: I love you. In spite of the horrendous gas you give me.

And they didn't even have to aks him.

ingested two prescription drugs and 10 servings of beer before crashing his car through the front door

You would think he looked somewhat intoxicated after they served him the 9th beer! Shame on the ole' bowlin' alley.

OH YEAH!!!!

KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!
\

Had to do it, no choice.


You will be marooned - without cocaine, as you left me, Kirk.

TheSilverOne: Since when does Downers Grove have its own newspaper?

Back in my day, it was the Downers Grove Reporter. I even worked there for a while. Don't know what the DG Sun is, though.

denmeister: But did he get that freak, the king?

//diarrhea

His plastic head got flattened, and there dirty tire tracks across it.

FTFA: Jonathon J. Skonie Stonie


+1 for mugshot

It also appears as if the story's writer, Bill Bird, is trying out his own Fark-ish headlines.

/obligatory

i dunno about the 10 beers, but it probably had something to do with the half empty bottle of turkey...

This guy's been doin coke for two weeks, and I can't even find a farkin joint or some choice nugs.

would you like fries with that?

There once was a butt-ugly pill-popper
Drove smack into the Home of the Whooper.
See? That slogan lied.
It's the Home of the Fried.
Till the arrest -- now it's the Home of the Copper.

I like to shop in downtown Downers Grove.
It doesn't take big bucks, and everyone there really is nice.

/obscure?

starts work Monday "Drive Thru Specialist"

wanted for questioning...

GIVE me a Whopper!

Holy fark, I know exactly where that happened. Haven't been back to that area for years, but can picture the place.

It makes sense to me... you pull up to the speaker, you order, they say, "please drive through."

A guy I knew about 20 years ago did this. And yes, it was Burger Kong.

On the other hand, what do they mean if they say, "please drive around?" Wander aimlessly around the parking lot hoping your order is (a) ready and (b) correct?

Have it your way, mother-farker!

Sounds like he's on a Drinking Team with a bowling problem...

The sign said "drive thru window" so he did...

Jeez, so that's what Billie Joe Armstrong's been up to lately

True story - one of the calls hubby's 911 center dispatched on was for a Wendy's that ALSO got a new drive through. Seems an elderly gentleman went forward instead of backwards and his car ended up nose-first in the ladies' room. He was pretty surprised by events. though not nearly as surprised as the woman IN the ladies room! Imagine you're just sitting there, dropping the kids off at the pool, when the next thing you know you're between the wall and the front end of a car. She wasn't seriously injured, but I bet she's pretty freaked-out to this day. I sure would be.

The 20-year-old Downers Grove resident - who authorities say has never held a driver's license - ingested two prescription drugs and 10 servings of beer...

"Bartender, I would like a serving of beer please."

Wanted for questioning:

sugar...give me sugar.....in water.
/ten servings.

Under questioning by the officer, Skonie said he had consumed "maybe 10 beers" before the crash. He also said he had taken the anti-anxiety drugs Klonopin and Xanax earlier in the day.

Skonie "also admitted he had been using cocaine over the past two weeks but had not been able to score any today," the officer reported. Police also found an open beer and a half-full bottle of Wild Turkey bourbon inside the car.

Wheeeeeeeee!

Super Chronic my brother was talking to this distinguished Terence Stamp-looking guy about the different versions of "Journey to the Center of the Earth" & my brother mentioned the Emo Phillips version in the late 80's. The guy looked funny at him and goes "are you farking with me?". Turns out it was Emo Phillips-nice guy, looks nothing like the way you remember him.

Oh yeah, Mr. Soul Patch said way too much-given the fish on his shirt maybe he's a BK Big fish guy...having worked as a BK "grill man"(thank god for that automatic-cooking broiler otherwise I would've had that sad acne all my counterparts developed) I can't think of Whoppers as nothing but stacks of frozen meat Eggos, you crack 'em on the edge of the freezer & drop 'em in one end of the ol' flame broiler & 3 minutes later, voila!

rjShadow: now that's a Whopper Freakout!

Thank you RJ, first thing I thought of.

He was probably one of the people that was told that the Whopper had been discontinued...

/stupid commercials

He was set up by this known criminal:

Booze, drugs, no licence, crashes through building. Only by shear luck nobody killed. And this farking clown is out on bail? What the f*ck do you have to do to stay in jail?

has anyone mentioned this may have been an incident of finding out the whopper had been discontinued?

or a whopper freakout, so to speak.

I'm suprised nobody mentioned yet that Burger King stopped making the Whopper?

/Whopper Freak-out!

A super-sized Darth Vader threatened unsuspecting diners at the Ahwatukee Burger King in June, 2005.

/Pic has nothing to do with story
//But I thought it was funny as hell when I did GIS
///I LOL'd

He's having it his way.