Who's ready for some girl on girl on girl action?

I keep my used gum collection on my hat, isn't it wonderful?

"And that's why I take it in the pooper."

We've come a long way, uh... babies?

"No, how YOU doin?"

"The gimp has been working my nethers for 15 minutes, Cheryl. Would you like him to service you now?"

nooks and grannies -obscure.

"I do declare Amelia, this tea is exquisite! You say it came from the harbor?"

That Black mofo Drjekel_Mrhyde had the smallest cock on a black man I ever saw

I'm thinking sequel! Three Girls One Cup!

Two out of three fine ladies smoke Camel cigarettes

"Your dues are in arrears."
"Oh my, how did you find out about that?"

"I have know idea what you are talking about so I'll just smoke this cigarette and wear a pancake on my head".

That's right... everyone is smiling... keep smiling... no one knows we have guns....

No- YOUR mother was a hamster. AND your father smelled of elderberries!

NINE inches? No way!

Woman #1: "Put that cigarette out, or I'll put it out for you."
Woman #2: "Try it, Grandma, and I'll bash your f***ing dentures in."
Woman #3" "Oh no she didn't!"

Woman at table, left: "You should see my husband, he's hung like a horse. His dick could block out the sun!"
Servant girl behind her: "And man does my butt hurt."

Much to the annoyance of the staff, the Sunday morning "Hooch and Cooch" tea party never ended without the girls eventually trying on the centerpieces from the surrounding tables.

"So then I says to Harriet, I says... 'Rectum? Damn near killed 'im'!"

"And so I said, 'Reginald, deah... You really have no idea with whom you are farking, little man,' and had the houseboy truss him up in the leather mummy suit and hang him from the chandelier by his heels. He's probably still there, come to think of it - you simply must stop by and say hello."

I knew we were coming to this place, so that's why I wore my dress that matches the coffee cups.

"This is a really fine restaurant, Mary. But someone really should take care of that bird crap on the wall."

I can't wait for internet porn to be invented. We're spending far too much on housemaids.

"I was thinking ladies, what if we went back to my place and made our own THREE girls, one cup viral?"

Penis goes WHERE!?

"Dorothy, your 'herbal' tea tastes incredible, and whatever your secret ingredient is it makes Charles hard for hours whenever I bake into brownies.

MCGQ2000: No I'm not a spammer

Actually, yes you are. Get you and your political B.S. out of here.

"My husband is making so much money in the stock market"

"Mine too... He bought me a new set of earings"

"My husband and I are talking a trip to Europe. Isn't living in 1928 great?"

"I can't wait to attend that lynching tonight!"

"So the family goes in to see the talent agent..."

"Aren't we just lucky? Free tea and sandwiches all day and all we had to do was promise not to vote."

"Hey Guadalupe, is Jose still having problems with his cojones"?

"Espera, que?"

Dorothy still had no idea that her husband had a sexy time explosion in her hair the night before, but Agnes and Ms. Merryweather didn't have the heart to tell her.

Ignore the man behind the curtain

Woman on left: "Whoa... I am soooo high right now"
Woman on right: "Man, am I starving!"
Woman in Centre: "Dude - your face is a CLOCK!!!"
Left: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Right: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Centre: "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

I think Jackie looked fine in blue, didn't you?

"That new girl, you know, the deaf one we're making stand in the corner for three days to earn the right to sit at our table? She like, totally doesn't know we're talking about her!"

"Okay, which one of you ladies has taken her shoe off and stuck their toes in my hoo-ha?"

Dahlia was nervous. This was her first big girl party, and she had no idea what to expect. Smiling demurely and holding her cigarette firmly in hand, as she had been taught, Dahlia hoped that her nervousness did not show through to the other two women at the table.

Ms. Robinson, the social news reporter from The Tribune, sat to Dahlia's left, speaking in haughty tones about the most recent scandals from the Hill. The very paragon of style, Ms. Robinson's obviously newly-purchased dress matched the flowered hat that she wore. Watching her, Dahlia felt uncomfortable. Was she supposed to be interested in these tales of lies and debauchery? Was she supposed to care that Mrs. so-and-so had worn the wrong hat, or that Mr. Whatisname had called Ms. Up-and-comer a rude word? Perhaps most frightening, was this what the future had to offer Dahlia? A shallow, vapid existence based on other's iniquities, and the inflation of one's ego?

Dahlia shuddered inwardly and took a small, polite drag from her cigarette. Mother could go on and on about what an important person Ms. Robinson was if she liked, it didn't matter. Dahlia would never become that.

To Dahlia's right sat an entirely different sort of person. Mrs. Stevens. Mrs. Stevens was the sort who seemed to be beautiful without effort. A woman who, through years of breeding and practice, played the games of the social world with grace and ease, inserting a proper comment here, frowning at that suggestion....It was a wonder to behold, and Dahlia was awestruck.

It was for this woman that Dahlia had come to the social tea. Though Dahlia was ashamed to admit it, Mrs. Stevens held a very special place in her adolescent heart, . . . and sometimes in her dreams. It was foolish, of course, to believe that a woman of this stature could ever understand or accept Dahlia's yearnings, and thus she relegated her dreams to the secret parts of her mind.

But was it a crime to dream?

Even now, as Dahlia sat at the table, remains of the tea before her, cigarette in hand, pretending to listen to Ms. Robinson's tales of illicit affairs and mores broken, her attention was captured by this singular creature beside her, this stately woman, regal as a queen in her simple black dress.

And, just then, like something out of a dream, Dahlia felt something rest on her right leg, right above the knee. As cautiously as she could, Dahlia looked under the table. Her heart leapt to her her throat, and refused to come down.

There, resting gently on her leg, lightly fingering the pleats of Dahlia's white floral dress, was a small, soft, feminine hand, the wrist clad in black matte fabric. Undeniably the hand of Mrs. Stevens.

A small shiver of excitement ran through Dahlia. Mother was right...this would be an interesting meeting.

The two sisters forced smiles as they listened to mother try vainly to convince them of something that each knew secretly (and they would have been as equally surprised that Juanita, the maid, knew as well) not to be true: it was impossible to get dad's semen stains out of a silk dress.

/gotta enter Bulwer-Lytton next year

And then I stared straight down at that fat biatch and said "It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again". That's how I roll.

Die_ Ubermensch, well done.

"Thanks for meeting with us, Lupita. And might I say what a lovely dress you are wearing. Look, I'll get straight to the point. Juanita here does all the household work at 47 cents an hour. Think you can do the same for 44?"

"Centipedes? In my vagina?"

"I haven't gotten any messages from the communists since I installed this new reflector hat. Have you, Joan? Betty?"

Inaditch: Die_ Ubermensch, well done.

Thank you, sir.