Try to get your hands on Andy Hamilton's "Old Harry's Game" radio series for an interesting look on the topic.

Stay legal and enter the Presidential race?

When I was much younger and researching religions, my understanding of Satanism is that you can do what you want to as long as nobody gets hurt in the process.

Oh and they take revenge very seriously.

I LOLed--the kid's a dumbass but you have to admire the keen sense of irony.

/Church of Satan = Church of Scientology without the racketeering and fraud

He should have sent it to the church of Santa. Everyone knows that's where real evil is perpetrated.

It's almost xmas. What the hell do you wanna go threatening the church of Santa for?

No. No, it isn't. Subby's ignorance of Satanism is typical.
Yes, I get the joke. Shame it wasn't clever, though.

grr

Let's get this straight. There's a sky zombie who was actually made from an Omnipotent being. Then there's a red colored guy who lives underground who takes in all the bad people. And somehow we survive physical death...and are conscious to realize if we're in someplace hot, or floating around with the clouds in a golden city. Yet we don't have a brain or body.

Uh huh.

The Power of Christ compelled him!

Why does Pope drive in a bullet proof car if he is so sure of afterlife?

eqtworld: submitter: Submitter isn't sure, but isn't this what Satan would want his people to do?

nope, read the bible.

Satan does not say a whole lot in the bible. He does not come off as hateful, he never really does anything evil. (if you assume the serpent is Satan) He tells Eve to eat the fruit, but he is not the one who does the punishing. God can't stand the slightest transgression, God is the one who is filled with rage, it is God who kicks his children out of the paradise, God who then creates disease, suffering, death, toil, starvation and pain. Here it is God who punishes us. This carries over to the concept of Heaven and Hell. It is not that we all go to Hell and God charges in to rescue us. God judges us and if we do not measure up he rejects us denies entry to heaven. He sends us where he sent Satan, here again God is the punisher and banisher not Satan.

Later God for some reason decides to prove a point to Satan and does so by telling Satan to torture Job with sickness, death of his family members, loss of property and other evils. Not because Job had done anything wrong, Job was a good person. God does it just to show up Satan, for his own pride.

The instances of plagues, famines, petulance, flooding the world, destroying cities with fire, killing all the first born sons and the establishment of laws to govern animal sacrifice and deity worship (God gets angry if you do nothing more than say his name). This was all done by God, not Satan.

The idea that Satan hates humans, or has caused us harm, or wishes us harm is not supported by the bible. Satan is like us, created by God then rejected by God for an instance of disobedience.

The death toll in the bible is God, millions. Satan, 11 (with god's explicit permission)

Excellent analysis of two of my all time favorite fictional characters! I give you a +1 sir!

Could you do one on the hidden sexual tension between Dumbledore and Snape next?

Cheers!

Failure on a grand scale.

The Church of Satan doesn't worship the biblical Satan... they worship Satan as an archtype. Going on random killing sprees is nowhere in the Satanic Bible, but not bothering people in their home is.

thedarkshadow: Let's get this straight. There's a sky zombie who was actually made from an Omnipotent being. Then there's a red colored guy who lives underground who takes in all the bad people. And somehow we survive physical death...and are conscious to realize if we're in someplace hot, or floating around with the clouds in a golden city. Yet we don't have a brain or body.

Uh huh.

Well said

/got nuthin'

Obviously, what happens in Unholy Discommunion doesn't stay in Unholy Discommunion.

eqtworld

I'm too lazy to look, who are the eleven and why did he have god's ok to kill 'em?

eqtworld:

The idea that Satan hates humans, or has caused us harm, or wishes us harm is not supported by the bible. Satan is like us, created by God then rejected by God for an instance of disobedience.

The death toll in the bible is God, millions. Satan, 11 (with god's explicit permission)

Thats why there is some belief that the God of the Old Testament is actually the Devil of the New Testament.

thedarkshadow

and are conscious to realize if we're in someplace hot, or floating around with the clouds in a golden city.

Those are just metaphors.

eqtworld

Happy Birth\bostonteapartyday :-)

No subby, you have been fooled, Satan is in fact the good guy. I mean, just look how many people God kills off in the Bible.

Unlike the Biblical god who is childish, intolerant, totalitarian and vengeful, Satan stands for tolerance and above all, freedom of choice.

waiting4godot: eqtworld

I'm too lazy to look, who are the eleven and why did he have god's ok to kill 'em?

They were Job's kids and God OK'ed them to die because they had to for Job to 'truly suffer.'

Wow subby, way to reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaccccchhhhhh for the troll there. Actually, as a religious minister, I'm pretty sure Peter Gilmore is legally compelled to notify the authorities if someone contacts him and says s/he is going to commit a crime.



The Rev. Gilmore in question.

As I understand it, Satanism is one of two things: Either a free-floating joke meme to scare and piss off ingorant Christians who acutally believe in child sacrifice and witchcraft. (Honestly, if you don't beleive in Santa than you don't beleive in the Grinch either)
Or its a kind of neo-platonism using propped up images of mythical figures that everyone knows don't exist, but nevertheless are venerated for representing something important (with Satan representing rejection of authoritarin rule, mindless obedience, etc.)

Jebus, please save us from Shayton!!!

Darkridr: Thats why there is some belief that the God of the Old Testament is actually the Devil of the New Testament.

Give it up, Marcion of Sinope (new window).

dearephesus: waiting4godot: eqtworld

I'm too lazy to look, who are the eleven and why did he have god's ok to kill 'em?

They were Job's kids and God OK'ed them to die because they had to for Job to 'truly suffer.'

What? The nagging, bitter, biatching Jewish wife who pleaded for him to die wasn't enough punishment?

fark that "Old Testament" God was one hard core asshole.

eqtworld: Darkridr: Thats why there is some belief that the God of the Old Testament is actually the Devil of the New Testament.

Jesus's father was the Devil? The Gnostics just left out the middle man :D

Maybe George Lucas was really on to something?

Did this enlightening exchange of views convert anyone to satanism?

authenticryan: Or its a kind of neo-platonism using propped up images of mythical figures that everyone knows don't exist, but nevertheless are venerated for representing something important (with Satan representing rejection of authoritarin rule, mindless obedience, etc.)

The Rev. Gilmore has this to say on the topic:

"My real feeling is that anybody who believes in supernatural entities on some level is insane. Whether they believe in The Devil or God, they are abdicating reason. If they really believe they are in communication with some sort of interventionalist deity...you know, somebody can be a deist and think that maybe there was some sort of force that launched everything and now has nothing to do with it. That's not anything you can prove. It's also not a matter of faith. It's a matter of making a choice between whether there was something or there wasn't. I think maybe that is the most rational decision. I think science makes it look otherwise, but I don't think somebody like that is mad. But anybody who believes in some kind of existence in deity or spirits or anything that intervenes in their life is not somebody I hold in any kind of esteem (new window)."

-Rev. Peter H. Gilmore

i don't think subby was intending to troll so much as make out a joke of what he perceived as irony...

that being said...
*points and laughs at subby for being sooooo stoooopit*

//agrees w\ eqtworld, I Like Bread, bikkurikun, Somacandra et al

Assmitter
Source: Some Atheist WTF
We do not believe in Satan shyt for brains you and the rest of the religious nutjobs do

IAMI: Did this enlightening exchange of views convert anyone to satanism?

Sorry, despite the intrinsic fun value of shocking everyone by announcing my conversion to "satanism", I find the entire affair kind of retarded, perhaps the only thing quite as retarded as that would be worshiping this "God" character.

Or Ewoks.

/jubjub

My question derrives from the quote attributed to Epicurus

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?

Here's my question. Given the above, why would someone worship a being that was created by God and was then beaten/banished by God?

I'm a Buddhist and am getting a kick out of these replies.

/just sayin

eqtworld: The instances of plagues, famines, petulance, flooding the world, destroying cities with fire, killing all the first born sons and the establishment of laws to govern animal sacrifice and deity worship (God gets angry if you do nothing more than say his name). This was all done by God, not Satan.

So you're saying God is to blame for Sean Penn?

According to some interpretations, such as Wm Blake and some modern Catholics, Satan was not banished by God but chose to remove himself from God's presence. Hell isn't a place one is sent by anyone but oneself, as an act of free will and freely rejecting the good (a corollary to this is the Purgatory system, in which souls are given perpetual choice as to their realm of inhabitation).

Other systems include the beliefe that Satan is the only entity in Hell, as he is the only entity that a) knew God perfectly and b) perfectly rejected Him

I think Marlowe said it best about Hell simply being the absence of the divine:

MEPHIST. Unhappy spirits that fell with Lucifer,
Conspir'd against our God with Lucifer,
And are for ever damn'd with Lucifer.

FAUSTUS. Where are you damn'd?

MEPHIST. In hell.

FAUSTUS. How comes it, then, that thou art out of hell?

MEPHIST. Why, this is hell, nor am I out of it:
Think'st thou that I, who saw the face of God,
And tasted the eternal joys of heaven,
Am not tormented with ten thousand hells,
In being depriv'd of everlasting bliss?

Seriously guys, I'm not on board with this kinder, gentler wuss of a Satan who would never condone the harming of another being. If such an evil lord existed, his minions would obviously revolt and scream for his deposition. Then they would appoint a real man's Satan in his place.

Free Radical: When I was much younger and researching religions, my understanding of Satanism is that you can do what you want to as long as nobody gets hurt in the process.

Oh and they take revenge very seriously.

That is Satanism in a nutshell, yes. The difference is that a Satanist does not necessarily believe in the biblical Satan (or how society views him). The Church of Satan, however, does. Though I'm sure they have their own doctrines and holy book of sort.

It's sort of a weird thing, Satanism != Church of Satan, though I believe some members of the Church of Satan are Satanists.

Sunny Ray: I find it very telling that hardly any of you Farkers will realize or acknowledge that God intervened and, through the Satanist Leader, saved the lives of the Grandparents.

Actually that was me. I spoke to him in a dream where I appeared as a half eaten quesadilla with my own face burned on one side. However I was kind of rushed because I had to wake up early give some homosexuals aids so that Pat Robertson farker would stop beseeching me every night to strike them down (try to watch Jeopardy every night with that whiney voice droning on begging for this and that, non stop - it's impossible!) so I had to make my own beard out of jalapeno peppers and bacon bits.

All in all I think it went off pretty well. At least good enough for you mortals.

no Church Lady pics yet?

If the Church of Satan rejects him, I'd say we're all even.

aerojockey: thedarkshadow

and are conscious to realize if we're in someplace hot, or floating around with the clouds in a golden city.

Those are just metaphors.

Really? Metaphors for what, ecstacy and agony? Personally, I'd rather get seventy vrigins than the ability to float...seems like it would be more fun.

mherr370: aerojockey: thedarkshadow

and are conscious to realize if we're in someplace hot, or floating around with the clouds in a golden city.

Those are just metaphors.

Really? Metaphors for what, ecstacy and agony? Personally, I'd rather get seventy vrigins than the ability to float...seems like it would be more fun.

70 experienced sluts actually sounds more fun to me. Stupid Muslims.

Satanism is just a poor man's Thelema.

/93 biatches.

God doesn't "work in mysterious ways" ... he just doesn't work at all.

Try praying for something that can't happen by chance and see how well that works out for you.

Farking Canuck: God doesn't "work in mysterious ways" ... he just doesn't work at all.

Try praying for something that can't happen by chance and see how well that works out for you.

Well, I suppose theoretically anything could happen by chance.

Except the NBA finals. Everyone knows that's rigged.