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(St. Pete Times) Florida Pastor takes leave of absence to deal with his online porn addiction. It only takes submitter 5-7 minutes to deal with it every day   (sptimes.com) divider line 122
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whatshisname 2007-12-15 05:01:32 PM  
Boobies!!!!!

 
DarkSoulNoHope 2007-12-15 05:01:35 PM  
If it was a Buddhist monk, he would be asking the question, "What's the sound of one hand fapping?"

 
robxiii 2007-12-15 05:01:54 PM  
Fap fap fap !

Better to have a porn addiction than an Altar boy addiction ;)

 
Craptastic 2007-12-15 05:01:56 PM  
Subby needs to work on his technique.

 
soapdish 2007-12-15 05:02:00 PM  
Subby does it twice a day?

 
Goldeneye007 2007-12-15 05:02:13 PM  
Atleast he's not molesting little boys, he should get a raise.

 
No Such Agency 2007-12-15 05:03:04 PM  
Craptastic:
Subby needs to work on his technique.

Depends if he wants it to last, or he has to be at work in half an hour.

 
Hosebeatings 2007-12-15 05:04:04 PM  
Craptastic: Subby needs to work on his technique.

Real men take at least an hour.

 
whatshisname 2007-12-15 05:04:21 PM  
No Such Agency: Depends if he wants it to last, or he has to be at work in half an hour.

Maybe he's AT work?

 
bukkak3 2007-12-15 05:04:51 PM  
No Such Agency: Craptastic:
Subby needs to work on his technique.

Depends if he wants it to last, or he has to be at work in half an hour.


or if he is at work

 
mypalmike 2007-12-15 05:05:02 PM  
A priest commits a vow of celibacy, and people think he doesn't walk his own dog?

 
Born2late [TotalFark] 2007-12-15 05:05:33 PM  
He should read his Bible instead. If he needs something to do with his hands, just keep counting all that tax-free money. Then maybe find himself a doe-eyed virgin in his audience to keep him company, after he marries her of course.

 
Krymore 2007-12-15 05:05:48 PM  
I knew a guy in the church I used to go to that would frequently confess his "online porn addiction". He would tell everyone else that they couldn't look at Myspace, because the Lord didn't want them to fall into temptation.

 
rkshep 2007-12-15 05:07:05 PM  
OhGod OhGod OhGod..Ahhh..Praise Jebus

 
sonarbison 2007-12-15 05:07:07 PM  
It says he's got a wife and four kids. Dang.

 
Donald_McRonald 2007-12-15 05:08:19 PM  
www.sptimes.com
God is what? Watching you masturbate?

 
mypalmike 2007-12-15 05:08:35 PM  
Scratch that celibacy thing I said there earlier then...

 
jonterry4 2007-12-15 05:09:16 PM  
Hosebeatings: Craptastic: Subby needs to work on his technique.

Real men take at least an hour.


Real men can't get it up.

 
JackassBlack 2007-12-15 05:09:33 PM  
5-7 minutes? Oh, you must be adding up the TOTAL time from 3-4 sessions throughout the day.

 
signaljammer 2007-12-15 05:09:58 PM  
The photo makes it looks like he was in flagrante at the moment of the shutter snap.

 
justoneznot 2007-12-15 05:10:19 PM  
"We do talk about how we're all imperfect, and this certainly shows that."

I swear, Christians are the masters of self hate. Humans are sexual beings. This is not an imperfection, it's what keeps us in existence by the urge to reproduce.

 
mathmonkey 2007-12-15 05:10:27 PM  
Born2late: He should read his Bible instead. If he needs something to do with his hands, just keep counting all that tax-free money. Then maybe find himself a doe-eyed virgin in his audience to keep him company, after he marries her of course.

I don't know any rich pastors. I'm sure they're out there, but on the whole they seem to live pretty modestly.

 
mypalmike 2007-12-15 05:10:36 PM  
evolvefish.com

 
captsaveahoe 2007-12-15 05:10:53 PM  
he has risen...and will rise again....

IN MY PANTS.

\hold the applause

 
skinink 2007-12-15 05:11:04 PM  

Didn't he know, DIDN'T HE KNOW?!!?!?!


blog.titaniumdreads.com


 
southaustin [TotalFark] 2007-12-15 05:11:20 PM  
mypalmike: Scratch that celibacy thing I said there earlier then...

Priests are celebate. Protestant pastors are not.

It's a nifty ploy to "confess" something once caught at it. This isn't Christian-exclusive: Celebrities and politicians do it all the time with alcohol and drugs, and then enter "treatment" -- usually a high-priced resort.

 
Hosebeatings 2007-12-15 05:11:52 PM  
whatshisname: Maybe he's AT work?

Been there, done that, bukkake'd the stall just so the asshole I was filling in for would have to clean it up the next day.

Four times.

 
southaustin [TotalFark] 2007-12-15 05:11:59 PM  
Also, it's the rare celebrity that can get treatment *before* getting caught... like Robin Williams.

 
Hosebeatings 2007-12-15 05:13:06 PM  
jonterry4: Hosebeatings: Craptastic: Subby needs to work on his technique.

Real men take at least an hour.

Real men can't get it up.


On the rare occasion a real man can't get it up, he improvises.

/better not to ask.

 
Nunya Bidnez 2007-12-15 05:16:24 PM  
FTFA - Alsgaard said James (the Rev.) disclosed the problem to a church committee early this week. So it appears he (the Rev.) realized he was engaging in a behavior against his religious beliefs and admitted his problem and is seeking help prior to getting caught. I commend him for his honesty.

 
southaustin [TotalFark] 2007-12-15 05:17:21 PM  
And I applaud him for going public with it. GREAT publicity.

 
drjekel_mrhyde 2007-12-15 05:17:23 PM  
I take only 2 min but do it about 20 times a day

 
signaljammer 2007-12-15 05:20:13 PM  
How long before this fellow becomes an internet icon of onanism?

 
bolzy 2007-12-15 05:22:11 PM  
There was no dealing with pornography of youth, as far as we know.

So was he into older ladies?

 
captsaveahoe 2007-12-15 05:26:55 PM  
img249.imageshack.us

 
Faps_in_the_kitchen 2007-12-15 05:27:08 PM  
I'm a fap in the morning person.

Unless I get a day off, then it's 3 or 4 times.

/the more you know

 
mama's_tasty_foods 2007-12-15 05:27:22 PM  
this pic is BEGGING for photoshop
www.sptimes.com

/I also enjoy that the last part of the image description on the newspaper's server is "tb_PastorPorn_450x300.jpg"

 
Craptastic 2007-12-15 05:28:36 PM  
Hosebeatings: Craptastic: Subby needs to work on his technique.

Real men take at least an hour.


No kids in the house, eh?

 
FreeCrime 2007-12-15 05:30:48 PM  
Oooo big man subby showing off how long he can last.

 
Fluff Girl [TotalFark] 2007-12-15 05:30:59 PM  
His church in New Tampa has 1,400 members.

I wonder how many women attend, too.

Good thing there isn't any Jennicam anymore. He'd never get anything done.

 
mkiii 2007-12-15 05:37:24 PM  
its not 7 minutes total per day but 7 minutes each time. if your not spending at least 1 hour per day please see a professional.

 
Hosebeatings 2007-12-15 05:41:23 PM  
Craptastic: Hosebeatings: Craptastic: Subby needs to work on his technique.

Real men take at least an hour.

No kids in the house, eh?


Nope. But then, isn't that what the garage is for anyway?

 
watox 2007-12-15 05:43:32 PM  
pr0n is teh debil

www.stepfamilytalk.com

 
worlddan 2007-12-15 05:51:02 PM  
Nunya Bidnez: FTFA - Alsgaard said James (the Rev.) disclosed the problem to a church committee early this week. So it appears he (the Rev.) realized he was engaging in a behavior against his religious beliefs and admitted his problem and is seeking help prior to getting caught. I commend him for his honesty.

Bah. His wife probably told him she'd divorce him after one of his snowflakes ratted him out because said snowflake didn't get the birthday gift he wanted.

/color me cynical.

 
Diabolic 2007-12-15 05:53:33 PM  
no ceiling cat photoshop? for shame.

 
ScottMpls 2007-12-15 05:55:14 PM  
To paraphrase at least one comic, "If God didn't want us to fap he would have made our arms shorter."

 
bighairyguy [TotalFark] 2007-12-15 05:56:07 PM  
Anyone else notice these things?
img149.imageshack.us

 
jamspoon 2007-12-15 05:57:09 PM  
Hosebeatings: Craptastic: Hosebeatings: Craptastic: Subby needs to work on his technique.

Real men take at least an hour.

No kids in the house, eh?

Nope. But then, isn't that what the garage is for anyway?


You have a PC in the garage or are you still using low tech pr0n?

 
Richard_Gozinia 2007-12-15 05:57:26 PM  
Any theories on how this little problem surfaced?

He must have been sitting there spanking his monk and somebody walked in????

No Happy Ending.

 
ScottMpls 2007-12-15 05:58:59 PM  
Richard_Gozinia: Any theories on how this little problem surfaced?

He must have been sitting there spanking his monk and somebody walked in????


At the same time, he was thinking "Goddammit, I should have fixed that farkin' lock!"

 
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