Man, I gots to get me on this DHS money train.

Feel safer?

I dunno Big-Brother, you tell me.

I knew it!

Mind controls you!


/wait....

This is way nicer than my mind control dungeon.

I have my mind controlled by the government, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies

Nyet.

"We've had volunteers, a lot of them," she said, the thick concrete walls muffling the noise from the college campus outsidescreams eminating within.

Fixed.

Makh: I knew it!

+1 for the reference. I will meet you at Zha'ha'dum.

Also to the article I say: *shudder*

Hal B. Sure: Man, I gots to get me on this DHS money train.

Get it before it's all gone.

I've never seen a turtle. (pause) But I understand what you mean.

brain scorcher anyone?


or wait, that was more of a hive mind thing, but who knows this could lead to it.

I wonder what the false positive rate is...

Yeees. I feeeel saaafer.

America loves Smirnov.

Makh

Damnit dude, I just started watching Babylon 5 and I am only in to season three.

Sure, I know what they look like but that's not the point. *covers face*

Remain calm, Comrade. Your government is in control!

Well, if anyone knows about controlling minds, it would be a former communist state.

This reminds me of... oh crap ... dammit EA games... stop predicting the future!

Oh for Christ's sake. Does this look like someone who would be into bizarre Russian mind-control experiments? C'mon.

All glory to the Hypnotoad!

How's that Big Government working out for you? Not exactly getting what you thought you would get are you?


B-b-but safety nets!!

In Russia, IRS pays you!

Phil Moskowitz: Hal B. Sure: Man, I gots to get me on this DHS money train.

Get it before it's all gone.

Won't they just print more?

mmm... pancake: How's that Big Government working out for you? Not exactly getting what you thought you would get are you?


B-b-but safety nets!!

3/10

No, I don't feel safer! Are you kidding? This is madn..BING! Why yes, I do feel safer now. Thank you for asking.

Phil Moskowitz: Hal B. Sure: Man, I gots to get me on this DHS money train.

Get it before it's all gone.

What are you talking about? America's money supply is infinite. If we run out, we can just take out a HELOC. It's not like you have to pay your debts back.

Isnt this the plot of S.T.A.L.K.E.R?

Why do we need mind control or anything else to stop terrorism here?

If you are an airport security worker, let everyone go through, but thoroughly check and background verify all male's that appear middle eastern.

Rinse repeat.

I for one welcome our new Russian overlords.

Based on the outcome, it sounds like the mind control works.

In Russian Mind-Controlled America, mind controls you!

This thread reeks of guilty people getting defensive.

/Obilgatory

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

This guy is ready and he has lots of quarters.

/Obscure?

Response time is a factor, so answer as quickly as you can.

Tell me what words come to mind when I say the following words:

Captain, Van Gelder has made reference to a particular treatment room.

The term was "neural neutralizer".

Cue the tinfoil hat pics!

Is that pic of said mindcontrol room a representation? It looks a pic ouf of a video game like Myst.

Prepare for mind control!

Rann Xerox: The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

This guy is ready and he has lots of quarters.

/Obscure?

I was going to be upset if nobody posted that.

Stupid way to spend American tax dollars #143,598,123:

Give it to fake Russian scientists who are getting a laugh out of making up stupid reasons for making us stand in line longer at the airport.

/I mean... seriously.... right?
//I want my tax dollars back

Gear for testing MindReader 2.0 software hangs on a wall at the Psychotechnology Research Institute in Moscow. Marketed in North America as SSRM Tek, the technology will soon be tested for airport screening by a U.S. company under contract to the Department of Homeland Security.

OMFG you're gonna put the brain scanning helmet with TV imagers inside on passengers' heads as part of the screening process??

Uh... no. No no no. Bad scientist!

lessthan1337: /Obilgatory

What he said.

"Smirnov, a controversial Russian scientist whose incredible tales of mind control attracted frequent press attention before his death several years ago."

I've got some pretty awesome tales which also happen to involve Smirnov controlling my mind, among other things.

Where's Tanya when you need her?

/"Cha-ching!" *boom*
//a Navy SEAL is fine too

I'm under mind control right now, so I'm really getting a MUST KILL PRIME MINISTER OF MALAYSIA