I always wanted one that said

"Remember my name because you'll be screaming it later-God"

Or, "How dare you put words in my mouth"

Raging_Primate: How arrogant does a church have to be to literally put words in their so-called God's mouth on a farking billboard?

"I hate Raging_Primate and condemn to Hell." -God

/not really

Him to Hell even. -God

/f u preview

There is something proffessedly odd about any "church" that would actually openly identify themselves on a billboard with Satan as a spokesperson. The cognative dissonance at that place must be incredible.

I am amused. Although I'd definitely like to amass the spare funding to buy some billboards to do something like Zahal said. Put the smackdown on those who started this weirdness.

I was hoping for something much cooler.

Associate pastor Chris Bates said the Web site has had more than 1,100 hits since the billboard went up."That's huge for a small church like us," he said.

Whoa, they are practically beating down your door, aren't they?

If we're not going to be serious about separation of church and state then this is good.

Fark god.

You people act like you don't like politico-religionists.

.

Vote Republican.

--Satan

Vote Republican.

--Satan

/nod

For a good time, C'mon down to the Landing Strip. Totally Nude girls. Open at 2pm. See you there!

-Satan


I thought that's what this article was gonna say.

in response to eqtworld

finally someone with some brains, eqtworld you actually realize the sillyness with "that" religion.

man, I tried GIS jesus billboard for that Ted Nugent/Jesus billboard in Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but came up emtpy... little help, please?


However I did get

FWIW...

Humans by Donald Westlake

Summary: God decides he hates humans, so he sends an angel down to get us to blow ourselves up. Satan hears of this plan. He figures he likes humans (we're fun), so he sends a devil up to get us to NOT blow ourselves up.

Relatively old book, but still a fun read.

the devil is a loser. why do people worship him?

magores: Humans by Donald Westlake

Summary: God decides he hates humans, so he sends an angel down to get us to blow ourselves up. Satan hears of this plan. He figures he likes humans (we're fun), so he sends a devil up to get us to NOT blow ourselves up.

Relatively old book, but still a fun read.

Job: A Comedy of Justice by Robert Heinlein. I just finished rereading that book. I think I recognize where the seeds of my incipient atheism were planted.

It was only a matter of time before the campaign for your soul turned negative. What ever happened to campaigning on the issues?

MisterBill: I think I recognize where the seeds of my incipient atheism were planted.

he's a trickster, that devil/satan.

The devil is a loser and he's my biatch!

--Lordi

MisterBill

Job: A Comedy of Justice by Robert Heinlein. I just finished rereading that book. I think I recognize where the seeds of my incipient atheism were planted.

LONG time since I read that one. May have to reread it myself.

Lamb, The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore

Another decent one. I used to have a signed 1st of this one, but I gave it to cousin when I moved out of the country.

dlpriest

I lol'd

who in this thread is over 30?


/i ask this question every time these threads pop up when i'm paying attention

I think a competition between Satan and God to drive people into the congregations is a great way to reach into those key 'rebel' young demographics. After all, getting attention for Satanic promotions(de-motions) should be a prime way of getting someone to come to church, and keep coming, even after they find out what it's all about!

But, I'd be absolutely happy to support the church as soon as they get to the "we sacrifice 18-yr-old virgins just like Satan does!" stage.
After all, there's only one way to protect a sacrificial virgin...

eqtworld....wow, you know, I had never really thought about it that way. My first reaction was, "nah, that ain't right...", but the more I thought about it I couldn't think of an instance to refute what you said.

"Would you all please stop pestering me about the damn lottery!" - God

Associate pastor Chris Bates said the Web site has had more than 1,100 hits since the billboard went up."That's huge for a small church like us," he said.

You know, I bet church attendance would absolutely skyrocket if they started having keggers with nude dancing after the service!

What kind of moron pastor justifies a marketing campaign involving Satan by saying how popular it is making their church??

eqtworld

I am absolutely shocked by what you said because like, kid_icarus, I never thought of it that way.

hmmm... I think anyone in Philadelphia knows that Satan just copied the successful ad campaign of Steven Singer Jewelers.....

theoracl

As in, "the oracle"? Shouldn't you know already?

Reefer Madness
I am absolutely shocked by what you said because like, kid_icarus, I never thought of it that way.

Well, I wouldn't say 'shocked', per se. I'm an atheist, so the point is sort of...well, pointless to me. But I did grow up in a christian environment, and it was always just sort of assumed that the devil was evil. There has to be some deeper lesson to learn there, but it's 7:13 am and I haven't had my coffee.

//on a related note...this thread needs more church lady pics

What doe Satan need with a billboard?



Book of Shat,17:36 the Psalm of The Attention Ho

victory family church website is farked

/is wayyyyyy over 30

When can I get this on a billboard:

Boobs are good - The Icelander

Why is god exempt from the mortal sin of 'hate' and 'wrath'?

Isn't he against such sinning? If so why does he practice them?

Oh, it's a real church using it? I was hoping for Satanists, myself. Thought they might have actually done something clever for once. Of course that was naive of me.

For some reason churches seem to suck at putting up thier billboards. It's like out of thier entire congregation, they can't find one creative person to be able to think something up. (We could get into christian art and music at this point, but we'll let that one slide for now).


hile visiting back east several years ago we were driving through the countryside when we saw a nice little church with one of those signs out front on it's lawn. What message had this congregation decided to share with the public?

'When Jesus comes you better be on your knees'.

Never in my life have I regretted more that I did not have a camera with me. The ultra funny thing to me though, is that out of the whole congregation, no one considered this amiss enough to talk to anyone and get them to take it down. It's like they have this shared blinder on that makes them unable to see what others do, like some wierd mental form of color blindness.

It did however keep us laughing well into the next state.

1100 Hits? When I was 8, ran a pokemon free site that got more hits than that a day.

That isn't impressive.

Egon Spengler man, I tried GIS jesus billboard for that Ted Nugent/Jesus billboard in Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but came up emtpy... little help, please?

Here ya go. The best I could do is screenshots from the video on YouTube.



"See the homeless guy on the gridwork? Not him. It's above him."

Remember, Satan managed to get God to do his dirty work in the book of Job.

Sorta like Darth Vader getting Lando to catch Han Solo.

/Hey, it's all fiction.

eqtworld et al

I read a great book that came out about a year ago called "Satan: A Biography" by Henry Ansgar Kelly. In it he details out all scriptural appearances by Satan, then contrasts that to the way that the character was changed by early Christians and the founders of what we recognize today as the RCC (Thomas Aquinas most notably). It was amazing to see the slow metamorphosis from what could best be described as a somewhat jerky bureaucrat that was charged with "testing" humanity into this nearly-omnipotent bogeyman that most Christians perceive. It was a great read that I would recommend to anyone that doesn't mind looking at Christianity from a mythological standpoint.

I am Satan, and I'm getting a kick out of reading these billboards.

(However, I still intend to have my legal team write to them about royalty payments for the use of my name--It's a corporate thing to protect the trademark and Hell has to make work for idle lawyers.)

ambercat 'When Jesus comes you better be on your knees'.

Rugbyjock.

(Dons flamesuit)

I always understood that Satan persecuted Job, not God.

Job 1:9-12 (KJV)

9Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought?

10Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land.

11But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face.

12And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the LORD.

Job 2:4-7 (KJV)

4And Satan answered the LORD, and said, Skin for skin, yea, all that a man hath will he give for his life.

5But put forth thine hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse thee to thy face.

6And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, he is in thine hand; but save his life.

7So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown.

But maybe you see God where I see Satan in verse 7. I dunno. I also expect the Special Olympics kid is rolling on the floor right about now.

First it was the churches.

Then the hot sauce ads. Before long, the Adversary was being used to endorse everything from singles cruises to insecticide...

eqtworld's post above is brilliant.

Theoraci, I am 36. Why do you ask? Do you assume people 'grow up' and find god once they're over 30? Or vice versa?

/Tekeli-li!

Inside the Church Office

Promotions Director: Looks like we are getting tons of hits on the website, now it is just a matter of getting those people into the church.

Pastor: That will be tough, but I think our promotional plan will work.

Promotion Director: Like they say the devil is in the details.

Pastor: .... I've made a huge mistake.

/over 30