You just need exercise.

Cue 'Push it to the Limit' song with video montage of this guy in full sweatsuit jogging, lifting weights and drinking protein shakes.

Someone sponsor this man for TotalFark.

I think Fark is the result of thirteen years of surfing the internets ruining a lot of people's brains.

It took thirteen years?

amateur.

The Internet Makes You Stupid

I decided long ago I don't have the attention span for a career. However I'm now resigned to having one and suffering the tedium for as long as I have to.

The day your dreams die is the day you've finally grown up.

After thirteen years I've got arm ache and I cant see!

13 years....

I can do it in 26 minutes and 35 seconds.

SWAP.avi

Nonsense! Without the masturbation superhighway, most of us wouldn't know jack.

This is more a comment to the threads after the post but...is this real?



/books are your friend

My attention span is so short, I couldn't even get through those three paragraphs.

mobby_6kl

The Internet Makes You Stupid


Teh interweb makes u stoopid!1

I stopped reading this about 2/3 of the way through.

I like where this thread is

*OOh, SHINY!!*

Link was farked, but I'm so brain damaged from the internets I will respond to said article going off of headline alone.

Duhhhhhhh.........

Why the hell was this greenlit?

Yeah I think uh...... oh look! ..something shiny!!

Metafilter is STILL around? I thought that went the way of Al Franken's radio network.

Has Fark been around that long?

GenXer

I like where this thread is

*OOh, SHINY!!*

You people actually need something SHINY to distract you??

/Amateurs

I realize that the internet has made me a worse speller... Words that I never would have even wondered about before, I find myself saying "is that right? I don't think that's right."

I think it's spending so much time seeing them frequently misspelled... whereas before the internets, the majority of what one would read had been proofread by an editor at some newspaper, magazine or publisher.

Thankfully, I haven't gotten to the point of "looser" yet, but I have found myself thinking "is 'alright' really a word?"

Link no longer farked. Response the same with added "y" for emphasis.

Dyuhhhhhhhhhhh......

No dude, your just getiing old.

13 years is a long time and you may have an anxiety prolem too.

I almost never finish tfa

One consolation is that we couldn't be any more stupid than the CB'ers I remember from years ago. Their conversations were peppered with the CB lingo; like "10-4, good buddy" and "what's your 10-20?" and "Come back?" and this was all in a face to face encounter!

If his brain were truly ruined beyond repair, he would've posted this as a video on YouTube asking for help there.

I've had enough of the Internet ruining my brain. So I'm now dedicated to ruining the Internet.

/thinks he has a lot of help in this endeavor.

The internet is sown up, fixed, closed, an old money business just like every other industry. And the new laws and patents this year guarantee any new company is doomed to failure unless it restricts itself to local IP addresses and pays all its profits out in licensing fees for digital paperclips.

TL; DR

ruthless_toothless: Cue 'Push it to the Limit' song with video montage of this guy in full sweatsuit jogging, lifting weights and drinking protein shakes


I was thinking of that montage music from the South Park "Make Love not Warcraft" episode.

.
.
.
Live to win, 'till you die, 'till the light dies in your eyes
Live to win, take it all, just keep fighting 'till you fall
Day by day, kickin' all the way, I'm not cavin' in
Let another round begin, live to win
Live to win
Live to win

(written and performed by Paul Stanley...yes, that Paul Stanley)

I'm a 13 year veteran of internet surfing and I'm really getting a kick out of...

technicolor-misfit -- "All right" is the correct spelling, but common usage has made "alright" acceptable (Unfortunately. To me it looks as stupid as "alwrong"). Same with "barbeque" -- correct spelling is "barbecue" but widespread misspelling means that spell checkers don't flag it anymore.

Yeah, MF got Farked....it will be fine in about 3 days.

Ok, fess up.
Which one of you wrote it?
After 13 years he has to have signed up for a fark account.

GenXer: I think Fark is the result of thirteen years of surfing the internets ruining a lot of people's brains.


Telling me! All it took was one click for me though.

It was here I found out about MrHands ( yup, clicked the link despite warnings ) and t*bgirl (still not clicked any links due to MrHands).

Bastards.

I didn't have the patience to read all of that. Anyone care to summarize?

If you really want to fark your brain, then 4chan is the crack you need.

What's this internet thing I keep hearing about? Is it anything like the information superhighway? I'm still stuck on the world-wide-web and waiting for the on-ramp to the infobahn.

I don't watch the internet

Anyone else read this as "I think 13 year olds surfing the Internet has ruined my brain"?

Axis of Weasel

I'll drink to that.

The internet gave me ADD, rotted my soul, but it's so much fun.

P.S. What's Mr. Hands? Almost afraid to Google it.

My brain returns 404 more than it used to.
/Connection with the server has been reset

I already did.

what is this attention thing of which you speak?

I've been online so long that I remember when it was called "cruising the net" rather than "surfing the web." And "the onion" wasn't a web site, it was that thing we hung from our belts.

I was in my last year of school when Mozilla was first in widespread use. I had been huffing usenet big time, but then I tried teh browzer. Within 30 minutes I got up from that computer, said to myself I will not touch that again until I graduate and get a job. It was like crack meth and heroin all rolled into one, and I would have dropped out for certain and would be mumbling to myself in shiatstained clothes begging for money on some highway on-ramp right now, if I lived this long.

*looks down*
*sees gateway*

Eh, several grams of mushrooms every few years treats this condition for me.

/come to think of it, it's been too long
//need to hit "master reset" soon.

RageVI: Anyone else read this as "I think 13 year olds surfing the Internet has ruined my brain"?

Yes, it's why I clicked the thread. I agree on that account.