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(Some Queer) Obvious Fred Phelps to picket Falwell funeral. Vortex of douchebags likely to trigger collapse of the universe, rapture imminent   (tinyurl.com) divider line 354
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thumbtack 2007-05-16 12:49:28 PM  
Well this should be interesting....While Falwell may have been an arrogant bastard, people in Lynchburg love the man. Mr Phelps may have taken on mission impossible. (or beat down)

 
noYOUare [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 12:56:56 PM  
Perhaps the Lord will take advantage of the convenient package-deal and smite them all in one fell swoop.

/please let Cheney be there, too

 
Goldsfool 2007-05-16 12:58:41 PM  
Wow. I can't say I'm surprised, but when my worst expectations of ignorance and hate are proved to be true, I still have to say "Wow."

I wonder if there is any human in the world with a heart of more bile than Phelps.

 
hillbillypharmacist [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 12:59:31 PM  
I can't wait to see the thread when Phelps dies.

 
ceremony_1968 [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 01:01:37 PM  
FTFA: Ergo, God hates Jerry Falwell, Billy Graham, Pat Robertson, and all such Arminian heretic preachers

"Arminian," of course, being the heretical notion (among Baptists) that Jesus died for everybody, whether they accept it or not. And that really pisses Phelps off.

This guy's going to feel like a complete asshat come Judgment Day. Pity him.

 
Polyhazard 2007-05-16 01:10:28 PM  
ceremony_1968
"Arminian," of course, being the heretical notion (among Baptists) that Jesus died for everybody, whether they accept it or not.

I kind of assumed that Falwell's theolgy was more along the lines of "Jesus died for everyone, but only if you accept it does it work and the rest of you will burn" or something like that.

Is that Arminian?

 
hillbillypharmacist [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 01:11:30 PM  
ceremony_1968: "Arminian," of course, being the heretical notion (among Baptists)

Hrm. I was raised baptist, and believed that.

Jesus, what an asshole thing to think, that Jesus didn't die for everyone.

 
Asa Phelps [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 01:20:21 PM  
Phelps doesn't really believe the shiat he spews. He's just an attorney looking for people to sue.

 
Frick! 2007-05-16 01:23:47 PM  
Meh. Alert me when Phelps stops picketing funerals.

I mean, it sucks for those in mourning (yes, even for Jerry Falwell, a guy I was none too fond of but who was nonetheless a human being with people who cared about him), but the schtick doesn't serve any purpose in their ministry. It makes people hate Phelpsians when, according to him, people should hate homosexuals.

 
mistersite 2007-05-16 01:27:19 PM  
Polyhazard: I kind of assumed that Falwell's theolgy was more along the lines of "Jesus died for everyone, but only if you accept it does it work and the rest of you will burn" or something like that.

Is that Arminian?


Yep. It's set against Calvinism, which holds that Jesus only died for the people God foreordained to ultimately accept him. If you're going to Hell, Jesus didn't die for you.

 
Frick! 2007-05-16 01:35:00 PM  
Asa Phelps: Phelps doesn't really believe the shiat he spews. He's just an attorney looking for people to sue.

I guess I'll have to trust your expertise on the inner workings of that merry gang of lunatics, Mr. Phelps.

 
Polyhazard 2007-05-16 01:36:38 PM  
mistersite
Yep. It's set against Calvinism

Thanks for the clarification.

I always wondered why Calvinism had such an appeal. Why would you even bother?

 
vdantev 2007-05-16 02:04:26 PM  
Hell, I'll help them make the signs for it :)

 
The Invisible Sky Wizard 2007-05-16 02:14:33 PM  
My god. It's like a collision between two titanic gallbladders. The world will be drowned by the resulting torrent of green, reeking splooge. I hope they tape it.

 
tnpir [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 02:19:25 PM  
noYOUare: Perhaps the Lord will take advantage of the convenient package-deal and smite them all in one fell swoop.

/please let Cheney be there, too


And Pat Robertson. And Sean Hannity. And Ann Coulter. And Michael Moore. And....

 
Weidbrewer [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 02:22:43 PM  
hillbillypharmacist: I can't wait to see the thread when Phelps dies.

See, for some reason yesterday, I saw "Falwell" and read "Phelps." For a few blissful moments, I was a very happy man.

 
mediaho 2007-05-16 02:26:49 PM  
This is one event that I will make every effort to be as far away from as possible.

 
Gosling [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 03:14:52 PM  
A hateful evangelist's funeral picketed by another hateful evangelist. It's... strangely karmic.

 
mistersite 2007-05-16 03:21:09 PM  
Weidbrewer: See, for some reason yesterday, I saw "Falwell" and read "Phelps." For a few blissful moments, I was a very happy man.

There's not much difference between the two... except that Phelps is man enough to actually stick to his guns about his hateful bigoted thoughts, where Falwell softened in order to keep what little political relevance he had.

Phelps still blames gays and lesbians in America for 9/11; when Falwell took heat for saying it, he wussed out. Phelps still welcomes AIDS as punishment for America's allowing gays and lesbians to exist; Falwell said it and then backed off when he realized some people would think he was going too far.

Philosophically, there's absolutely no difference between the two; they're both hateful, ridiculous men, without whose voices the world would be (or is) better off. The only difference is that Fred Phelps has the cojones to continue to spout his bigotry, despite the fact that 99.99% of America hates his breathing guts for it, while Falwell wussed out and let his bigotry simmer just under the surface so that he could be hated by only 85% of America and get more face-time on Fox News.

 
martissimo [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 03:33:52 PM  
nothing sweeter than a direct link to pdf, but to be fair, that one is hilarious so, ok +1

 
Some Bass Playing Guy [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 03:39:15 PM  
Polyhazard: I always wondered why Calvinism had such an appeal. Why would you even bother?

The drinking and the whoring if you're going to hell anyway?

/sign me up

 
aszure 2007-05-16 03:58:48 PM  
Kinda like watching the Mets VS The Cardinals. Both of them suck, so you watch to see if the cameraman is quick on the draw for the female fans who have had a few too many beers and want to flash a little bit.

 
TheOther [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 03:58:49 PM  
Attendance at the Falwell funeral will be a litmus test for Republican presidential candidates. I wonder if McCain will show up?

 
Hobodeluxe [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 03:58:53 PM  
i77.photobucket.com

 
reillan 2007-05-16 04:00:14 PM  
I'm not sure whether this makes me like Falwell or whether it makes me like Phelps.

Why don't we just arrange a meeting between the two...

 
Three legged dog 2007-05-16 04:00:25 PM  
blog.tmcnet.com
The only way to be sure...

 
Rurouni 2007-05-16 04:00:32 PM  
Would some kind Farker please post copy/paste this in forum? That site is blocked at my work -_-

/network admin nazis suck

 
Torc 2007-05-16 04:00:40 PM  
Oh joy, sectarian hatred in the US. It's the Shiitts vs. the Sue-ees.

 
tweekster 2007-05-16 04:00:42 PM  
Why does the text in their news releases always look like it was typed on a 1950's era typewriter?

 
unto_others 2007-05-16 04:01:09 PM  
I don't get it. Was Falwell not hardcore enough for Phelps?

/No, I will not RTFA.

 
carmody 2007-05-16 04:01:15 PM  
Further proof that Falwell was secretly a homo. That Phelps has keen gaydar, honed by years of lusting after his fellow man.

Seriously, though, everybody in America ought to read Addicted to Hate, the definitive scoop on Fred Phelps. It's a fantastic piece of journalism, sadly suppressed by the Topeka newspaper that commissioned it when they realized what a bombshell it would be, were they to have the balls to publish it. (It's only available online due to being Exhibit A in the court case between the paper and the reporter who wrote it.)

 
kith_groupie 2007-05-16 04:01:26 PM  
I was actually wondering about this. Friggin awesome.

 
lajimi [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 04:01:47 PM  
Is Fred Phelps the only person who is right 100% of the time? He seems to think so. I have a feeling that this funeral will be the biggest collection of douchebags and attention whores in the history of time. Should be fun to watch.

 
Transpogue 2007-05-16 04:02:14 PM  
It wouldn't seem beyond reasonable doubt, that when Fred Phelps kicks the bucket, his own church pickets his funeral.

Just sayin'....you heard it here first.

 
DaCricket [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 04:02:38 PM  
Goldsfool

I wonder if there is any human in the world with a heart of more bile than Phelps.

His daughter is pretty nasty. Caught part of interview with her, (actually I think it's on youtube, but I cant acces that from here) she's pretty good at spewing the hate.

 
RabidCanary 2007-05-16 04:02:42 PM  
Ironic.

 
Petulant Dwarf 2007-05-16 04:03:07 PM  
Who gives a flying fark what Fred Phelps does?

 
drjekel_mrhyde 2007-05-16 04:03:10 PM  
i19.tinypic.com
John Kerry says

 
vandelay 2007-05-16 04:03:19 PM  
hillbillypharmacist [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 12:59:31 PM
I can't wait to see the thread when Phelps dies.[\i]


I'm sure all the bleeding heart republicans will show up in full force just as they have over the last couple days.

Where's the compassion???

 
The_Former_BV 2007-05-16 04:03:21 PM  
I must admit, I lol'd when I read that. Can't believe I'm going to say this, but I feel sorry for the attendees at Falwell's funeral.

Phelps has to be the festering infected boil on the ass of America. Just my humble, free-speech protected, opinion.

 
RedfordRenegade 2007-05-16 04:03:23 PM  
I wonder if he thinks the gheys killed Falwell.....

We all know it was the bacon-cheeseburgers. Think of the bacon Cheeseburgers.

 
sirpilsofd 2007-05-16 04:03:29 PM  
Hopefully Phelps will die at the funeral, and that will be the second greatest bit of news ever.

 
Horatio_Algernon 2007-05-16 04:03:40 PM  
Westboro Baptist Church
(WBC Chronicles - Since 1955)
3701 SW 12th St. Topeka, Kansas 66604 785-273-0325 GodHatesFags.com
Religious Opinion and Bible Commentaw on Current Events
Tuesday, May 15,2007

NEWS RELEASE
WBC to picket the funeral of Rev. Jerry Falwell - at
Thomas Road Baptist Church, Lynchburg, Virginia -
in religious protest and warning: "God is not
mocked!,, Gal. 6:7. God Hates Fags! & Fag-Enablers!
Ergo, God hates Jerry Falwell, Billy Graham, Pat
Robertson, and all such Arminian heretic preachers -
from fundamentalist evangelicals to openly gay
Episcopalians and pedophile Catholics - all of whom
have created the Satanic Sodomite Zeitgeist wherein
America has irreversibly gone the way of Sodom.
There is little doubt that Falwell split Hell wide open
the instant he died. The evidence is compelling,
overwhelming, and irrefragable. To wit:

1 Falwell was a true Calvinistic Baptist when he
was a young preacher in Springfield, Missouri; and
sold his soul to Free-Willism (Arminianism) for lucre.

2. Falwell bitterly and viciously attacked WBC
because of WBC9s faithful Bible preaching - thereby
committing the unpardonable sin - otherwise known
as the sin gainst the Holy Ghost.

3. Falwell warmly praised Christ-rejecting Jews,
pedophile-condoning Catholics, money-grubbing
compromisers, practicing fags like Mel White, and
backsliders like Billy Graham and Robert Schuler,
Etc. All for lucre - making him guilty of their sins.

 
Daveism 2007-05-16 04:03:47 PM  
Could someone mirror that, or change the damn headline so that asshat doesn't get all the hits on his site? Or maybe we can toast his server... I dunno, which would be better?

 
Mad Scientist 2007-05-16 04:03:51 PM  
What's "irrefragable" evidence?

 
fiedel_catstro 2007-05-16 04:04:28 PM  
An interesting...but scary look Phelp's group

http://www.dailymotion.com/related/2742693/video/x1mrt6_louis-theroux-most-hat ed-family-13/1


//sorry no html...it might as well be Greek

 
Turings_Other_Machine 2007-05-16 04:04:31 PM  
Why is this situation so damn funny? I can't stop laughing.

 
ihatedumbpeople 2007-05-16 04:04:48 PM  
I'd honestly love to see someone snipe this guy outside a funeral. that'd be awesome.

 
Doctor Funkenstein [TotalFark] 2007-05-16 04:04:57 PM  
Complete threadjack and I have no doubts that the mods will vanquish this into intarweb tube nothingness, but is there not a greenlit Yolanda King thread or am I completely missing it? Fark Falwell, enough of him. I want Lady King.

 
dyank69 2007-05-16 04:05:17 PM  
Good for him...I hope he's successful.
/what?

 
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