you make your submissions with the stories you have, not the stories you want

Submitter is obviously not a fark regular.

Yeah, come closer...I wanna tell ya sumpin.

Yeah, I just make sh*t up as I go.

That's kind of weird, because I am now reading Fluke (pops), and there is a similar episode in it.
Though it is hilarious in the book.

Excellent quote-mangling, submitter.

+1

They should start the Irwin Awards for people like these.

Sounds a little like a scene in The Swarm, forked_at_fark. But in this case it's not funny, it's downright frightening.

/Oh noes, the Yrr are attacking!

hoots_toot_ochaye: Sounds a little like a scene in The Swarm, forked_at_fark. But in this case it's not funny, it's downright frightening.

/Oh noes, the Yrr are attacking!

After I RTFA, I realized it was nothing like the headline.

TTIUWV

FTFA:
"It was a trip we had planned for a couple of years," Thornton said. "We wanted to watch the mating and birthing habits of these magnificent creatures."

What sort of sick f*ck gets off on watching fatties get it on underwater?

GoDeep:They should start the Irwin Awards for people like these.

Seconded, this may be the best idea in human history.

@rcain

There's a fetish for everything...

....Anyone with skill wanna photoshop captain "I love midget porn" into "I love whale porn"?

I loved that headline, subby.

I see what you did there.

Love you, smitty.

+unlimited points

/or, blue square followed by some random symbol.
//supermario.

El_Smacko: There's a fetish for everything...

My first true Internet moment was having my attention drawn, around 2000, to a site by a woman who likes to write about having sex with dolphins. After that, it was all pretty much blasé.

"The message to whale watchers is obvious; don't get too close. Regulations in the United States and Mexico prohibit swimming with whales - but not so in a handful of countries, including the Dominican Republic, where it's allowed and even promoted."

What a bunch of ignorant, selfish, dumbasses.

The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli.

LukeA
TTIUWV

TTDHVYJHSI.

//This thread has video, you just haven't seen it.
///Video doesn't seem to work on a Mac, so fark ABC.

If this was CNN, it would have become a sperm whale for sure.
Add "Killer Sperm Whale" for dramatic effect, even though it's cross-species nonsense.

But no, Fark has journalistic integrity.
Or whatever passes for integrity nowadays.

I thought Humpbacks were all for the buttsecks.

A white sperm whale?

thanks, Smitty, for using the subjuctive properly

/if it were, not if it was

"It was like getting hit by a train," Thornton said. "You know, it was so hard, it felt like getting hit by car."

"It was one of the most incredible experiences of our lives," Thornton said. "The close proximity to these beautiful, highly intelligent animals was great. It was just a weird, freak accident. Like getting hit by a meteorite."

This guy must be the most accident-prone man on earth.

i pissed myself. Good headline.

If the farking whale had killed the dumdasses we could have had a darwin thread.


Something similar to this happened to a surfer off Oahu a few years ago. The whale came up under him took him for a short ride and then dove fortunaely he/she didn't flip his tale so the surfer wasn't hurt. Also this guy was just surfing not farking with the whales.

I found the video, which works quite well with Camino 1.0.4

rcain

Let's just say that's not a phrase you want to GIS.

So they don't have laws saying you must keep a certain distance? It is there not to protect stupid people but to not cause undo stress on the animals.

You have to be really stupid to get that close to anything that big and that is a mother with young. They are lucky the whale didn't inadvertently kill them.

MorningBreath: Submitter is obviously not a fark regular.

He's around here some :-P

golf clap 4 subby, well done

40below: He's around here some :-P

And here I was assuming you were all about quantity over quality. Good work on this one. It had nuance.

- They like you very much, but they are not the hell *your* whales.
- I suppose *they* told you that.
- The hell they did.

40below

He's around here some

yeah, but he obviously lacks any integrity;)

Cliche + Rumsfeld quote

Subby gets +1 for agility

Was he accompanied by four skin divers?

/DNRTFA

Adman12: And here I was assuming you were all about quantity over quality

As any mod/min will tell you, my headlines are invariably models of grace and gramatically-correct beauty, with healthy amounts of funnay and insight into the human condition baked right in. And I will stand by this position until the moment a mod/min enters the thread and clears their throat in my general direction.

What a bunch of ignorant, selfish, dumbasses.

You win. Too bad they didn't die.

DayOldDutchie

That made me think of that documentary about the guy who went and lived with grizzly bears in Alaska for 13 summers. He was convinced that he had a special bond with the bears and that they were his friends.

Unsurprisingly, he got eaten a few years ago.

/+1, subby

40below suffers from "certainty of grandeur"

It's kinda like delusions of grandeur, except it's confirmed by 7 different news sources.

/3 in three days

Stupid animals, one day they thank you, the next they wake you up from a well-deserved sleep.

Basking_lizard ... the guy who went and lived with grizzly bears in Alaska for 13 summers.
Ah yes, The Amazing Grizzly Man. The 13th time, he only went: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timothy_Treadwell

Did anyone else notice that the article itself said they were scuba divers but the caption for the video called them snorkelers?

I have been diving for years and have never heard this happening before. In most cases you will find divers much more conscientious of wildlife and environmental issues than many other sport enthusiasts.

True accidents do happen with sea creatures but they are relatively rare. Most species have no idea what to make of us so they simply leave us alone. The fact is these divers had to pay a great deal extra just to get close to these creatures.

The most frightening part of the article is the fact that the man was willing to let a third world surgeon operate on him.

That's what dive insurance is for. A fast plane to Miami.

I almost always take the side of humans over animals, but not in this case. These people really should have died. What friggin morans. Nature is not there for your amusement, and real life is not a video game or a DVD.

FTA: "In fact, a group of three divers including Thornton had drifted directly above a 40-ton mother whale and her eight-ton baby, which was sleeping on her back."

...Well mr. diver man you, there's your problem. Got too close to the kids and mom knocked you out of the ocean.

Only reason I clicked the story was because I misread it to be Driver Beat Off Humbacked Whale. The quick glimpse of the "sperm whale" comment really made it impossible for me not to click.

I really wanted to know how the whale got on the expressway and why the driver felt the need to help it masturbate.

It would have been a story worthy of Fark especially as covered by ABC News.

Reading is fundamental.

FTA: In fact, a group of three divers including Thornton had drifted directly above a 40-ton mother whale and her eight-ton baby, which was sleeping on her back.


From his hospital bed, Thornton explained what happened next.

I have to say that's the funniest thing I've read all day.

/+1 for the headline, too.

My humps, my humps,
My cetacean lumps.

/Fergie approves

"From his hospital bed, Thornton explained what happened next."

That's GOLD Jerry!