I suspect submitter misunderstood the article. It seems more likely that the family stuffed her in a cupboard after she died and didn't tell anyone.

Submitter isn't that bright, much like the mother.

yay! he's the smartest retard on the interwebz!!!

Go submitter!

idiot, rtfa

no no, it is much more likely the girl crawled into a cupboard on her own... right before dying. And the family cant smell and forgot all about her.

Ew. That's it. Just Ew.

/Ew

Let's not be hasty; she very well might have richly deserved what she got.

"two and two together?"

Come on, man; I don't have a calculator!

"Neighbors noticed a horrific smell coming through the walls, but dismissed it as a vampire infestation. The family reportedly painted their windows opaque white and kept to themselves coming and going at odd hours."

Fixed.

I gets it. She wuz teh food!

********The family reportedly painted their windows opaque white and kept to themselves coming and going at odd hours.********

The movie "The Burbs" comes to mind.

Earth Times?

So that's how you get an article posted and greenlit: just don't read it.

/kb7rky, I choose Button #2.

And this will nicely coincide with OJ Simpsons'latest book: "OJ Simpson: If I Stuffed the Body of a 16 Year Old Girl in a Cupboard in the UK".

...Mom?

How bizarre, how bizarre.

/every time I look around

Morvern Callar is that you?

so we have the sharp knees guy, the ha ha guy, and numerous other fark cliche pictures. in the long history of fark, someone has to have made some kind of graphic about frantically trying to get a headline greenlighted. this one is perfect for it.

if not, someone else do it, i'm not good at teh photochop.

I guess the SICK, SAD, STRANGE and WEIRD tags are on a smoke break? The only stupid thing about this is the submitter.
/sorry subby!

Was the address 1313 Mockingbird Lane, by any chance?

The hard part is not that there are complete useless wastes of flesh like this family. The hard part is remembering that there are people who are not after you see human beings act this way. For some reason not giving a shiat about your dead daughter is worse to me than actually murdering her.

I want my Mummy - well preserved. that is.

Anybody ever watch the film "Apartment Zero"? Eeek...

Did they at least leave the TV on so her corpse had something to watch?

"Hey honey? I think we aged the prime beef too long!

...and where the hell is Sophiene??"

bad smitty!

In other news, the [SICK] tag plays golf on sundays.

That's astonishing. Anyone who has been around a dead animal knows they don't just "sort of" stink--it's overwhelming and makes it hard to breathe.

A sixteen-year-old girl decomposing in a bag in the kitchen would be unimaginable.

I find stories like this unfathomable on any level.

crazycalimaniac: family cant smell and forgot all about her.


Naw, probably thought she went to Narnia.

When I have kids, and a daughter, I'm going to name her Pristine. Just because.

El_Smacko

"Neighbors noticed a horrific smell coming through the walls, but dismissed it as a hippie infestation. The family reportedly painted their windows opaque white and kept to themselves coming and going at odd hours."

Fixed.

Re-fixed.

That sucks. There was plenty of good meat, right there. What a waste

bailiffs broke into the house and found the body, but they were released on bail.

Well, there is some comfort knowing that the bailiffs were released on bail.

/unavailable for comment

Submitter needs to re-read the article. The neighbors noticed a putrid odor, but thought it was rats. The girl's family knew full well where she was at. In fact, they probably stuffed her in the cupboard, but whether it was before she died or after, the article doesn't say.

"A London mystery involving a family's odd behavior and putrid odors was solved when police found the body of a 16-year-old girl in a cupboard."

Yeah, my Spidey-Senses are telling me she didn't crawl in there to play Hide and Seek and forgot to come out again for food, etc.

And Confabulat is right - the smell of a decomposing animal under your front porch smells to high Heaven, so I don't know how these sickos managed to live with the odor of a whole human organically breaking down. Crazy people still have the sense of smell, after all.

"That sucks. There was plenty of good meat, right there. What a waste."

Asian Sandwich Baby approves:

crazycalimaniac:

no no, it is much more likely the girl crawled into a cupboard on her own... right before dying. And the family cant smell and forgot all about her.


Sort of like the cat that crawls up under the house to die, right?

A pidgeon flew down our chimney and died in the duct work I couldn't find it. My basement and half the first floor of our house smelled like hell. We couldn't run the AC because it stank up the house. That was one little bird. How the fark do the neighbors put the smell of a decomposing human body down to rat infestation? I call bildge.

p_marvel

Crazy people still have the sense of smell, after all.

One apartment where I lived had a guy next door (my bedroom shared a wall) who would listen to the police scanner at full volume, laugh at strange times, make really weird sounds, and run up and down the hallway.

You could tell if he'd been in the hallway in the past hour by the reek.

In short, not all of 'em...

"Ah thought me owlduh daw'uh was awn 'er peeeriod, 'sall, offysuh."

Were the police tipped off my neighbors reporting the odd coming and going of the family like a previous British article would have them do?

thought they were going with http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15895965/ but then again, there was no Florida tag

Wow, never seen a subby get owned so badly in a topic before.

This must be what Totalfark is like.

I used to live in an apartment building with a very wide variety of ethnicities, and I have to say that though my friends all served some outstandingly delicious food, their kitchens absolutely reeked. I don't know (and didn't ask) how the food was prepared, but some of these methods I am certain involved letting decaying matter of some sort "breathe" in the kitchen for a few days ahead of time.

So I can see that it is possible that the family could have such an odor go unnoticed. but given the other circumstances it appears to be just another bunch of loonies. No mention of a dad either, so perhaps he escaped in the nick of time.

Bloody chavs! Always crawlin' inter cupboards an' dyin'.

Balchinian

No mention of a dad either, so perhaps he escaped in the nick of time.

Na he is in the credenza.

Mister Peejay: I think he lives below me now. Did he yell like a Touretter with his junk stuck in a bear trap at 3 in the morning?

can't believe i'm the first person to post something about skeletons in the closet.

that stink to high heaven.

What is an odd hour? 1? 3? I have lived through them all thousands of times. I guess they are all odd.

Ha ha, credenza!

Good Lord!