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(Above The Law) PSA If you're an attorney who asks for an extension because you were drunk, best not to use a smiley emoticon in your request   (abovethelaw.com) divider line 61
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skabbo 2007-03-08 12:06:37 PM  
Or maybe best to use one, since the extension was granted.

 
MrStench [TotalFark] 2007-03-08 12:15:41 PM  
Drunkenness is "excusable neglect"?

The extension may have been granted, but how embarassing?

 
irreverence 2007-03-08 12:38:32 PM  
I would have to taste examine the wine before I could determine whether or not it's worth smiling about.

 
Snarfangel [TotalFark] 2007-03-08 12:42:19 PM  
:D

 
LookOutForThatTree! 2007-03-08 01:26:35 PM  
img130.imageshack.us

 
MasterThief [TotalFark] 2007-03-08 01:33:57 PM  
XD

 
RaoulDuke 2007-03-08 02:23:04 PM  
ring ring ring ring ring ring ring e-moti-con....

 
Stereolab [TotalFark] 2007-03-08 02:23:59 PM  
Am I the only one who thinks this is a complete non-story?

 
chechcal 2007-03-08 02:27:01 PM  
"If we wanted to be reading documents with titles like "Response In Opposition To Bills of Costs," we'd still be practicing law."

QFT

 
Irish15 2007-03-08 02:27:17 PM  
I wonder if jail bait will make its way into this. Because this story is lacking a lot.

/DNRTFA

 
slutter 2007-03-08 02:28:08 PM  
>P-}

 
Psumek 2007-03-08 02:28:09 PM  
Sounds like something my roomie would have done during college:

"Dude, I'm like totally unable to come to class and hand in that paper, so is it cool if I like hand it in tomorrow when I feel better and can come down from the mushrooms? <//>;~~"

 
chechcal 2007-03-08 02:29:33 PM  
Stereolab: Am I the only one who thinks this is a complete non-story?

It's not news, etc.

 
moosehole 2007-03-08 02:32:14 PM  
Psumek, sounds like some of the stuff I did. I'd go in the day after the midterm and tell the professor that I was studying all night for the test (partying) but ended up sleeping through it accidentally. He'd say, "Oh, it's ok, we'll just increase the weight of the final." Grade on the final: F-.

 
SocietalPylon76 2007-03-08 02:32:43 PM  
where is Lionel Hutz? this discussion is completely invalid without a contribution from Lionel Hutz.

 
carrot 2007-03-08 02:34:22 PM  
The story has been updated. She's been outed and is now the "lawyer of the day".

 
escapedlabmonkey 2007-03-08 02:34:35 PM  
____
{o,o}
|)__)
-"-"-
O RLY?

 
MisterRPG 2007-03-08 02:36:48 PM  
WHEREFORE, inebriation constituting excusable neglect

Do lawyers and judges write like this to make themselves feel smart or what?

 
Regnad Kcin 2007-03-08 02:39:09 PM  
Inebriation constituting excusable neglect
Inebriation constituting excusable neglect
Inebriation constituting excusable neglect
Inebriation constituting excusable neglect
Inebriation constituting excusable neglect

Remember these words. They could come in handy some day.

 
Horatio_Algernon 2007-03-08 02:39:42 PM  
If you're an attorney who asks for an extension because you were drunk, best not to use a smiley emoticon in your request.

/should have used the drunk emoticon %^}

 
alhazred 2007-03-08 02:45:22 PM  
Inebriation constituting excusable neglect

I now have my next sick day excuse.

 
Barry Badnirath 2007-03-08 02:50:06 PM  
I got a kick out of the comments.

I am an attorney, and I did graduate from a law school classified as a "Tier-4" lawschool. It is also the only law school in the million + population city I live in, and almost every lawyer in this city went to my "Tier-4" lawschool.

Believe me when I say that it is the person, not the school, that determines a lawyers real world success. The only people that care about "tiers" are those that attend a "Tier-1" lawschool, and try to make themselves feel better about their horrible lives by trying to bring down "lower tier" lawschools.

 
AdrianLamo 2007-03-08 02:50:55 PM  
I totally suggested this one to my attorney. I don't think she'll bite, but perhaps I could use it myself? Or some derivative thereof ... hrmm ..

"supernormal environmental C2H5OH infusion resulting in acute transient occupational aphoria constituting excusable neglect" FTW!

 
rawkus 2007-03-08 02:51:16 PM  
8=======) /*\

 
stay_classy_pdx 2007-03-08 02:56:56 PM  
I totally agree with Barry Badnirath. Only Tier-1 grads still talk about tiers. It's like when lame adults still talk about their SAT scores. Of course, I'm a Tier 2 grad, so I am way more intelligent than barry

 
Gray_Calx 2007-03-08 03:01:08 PM  
Barry Badnirath

Good for you Barry, don't let anyone put you down for going to Littleton School of Law and Taxidermy.

/sarcasm, now to a serious note. Do you think any non-lawyers give a fark that 1. You're a lawyer. 2. That you went to school, let a alone a "tier-4" school. Oh, lets put quotes around it, it will let the readers know I think its a joke and don't take such classifications seriously. shut the fark up. This is exactly why people hate lawyers, you all think we care about you. We don't. Go slip in AIDS and stop annoying me.

 
L.B. Jeffries 2007-03-08 03:01:09 PM  
RaoulDuke

That's great, I'm going to have a Raffy song stuck in my head for the rest of the day now.

 
BMulligan 2007-03-08 03:01:09 PM  
MisterRPG:

Do lawyers and judges write like this to make themselves feel smart or what?

There are three reasons lawyers write like this. First, you have to use the correct buzzwords. "Excusable neglect" is a legal standard, the language coming from the applicable rule. If you don't use the words "excusable neglect," no one knows what you're talking about.

Second, lawyers write like this because judges write like this. We're all polluted by the crap we have to read all day - turgid judicial opinions.

Third, we're lazy. It's easier to say "whereas" than to think about, and say, what we really mean.

It's not an excuse, but it's an explanation. Take it for what it's worth.

 
sloeride 2007-03-08 03:03:18 PM  
BarryB Yeah I used to be like all not caring that my school was tier 4. But then, since my gradation, we have been bumped up to tier 3. So I just like want to say to you, IN YOUR MUTHERFOCKING FACE!

No but seriously. I agree. My observations:
(1) Law school is a cult.
(2) The first step to a miserable life is trying to impress other attorneys.
(3) Most attorneys are moronic as they failed to recognize (1) & (2) above.

 
Barry Badnirath 2007-03-08 03:04:47 PM  
Gray_Calx

Wow. I laughed at your response, but where does the unbridled aggression and hostility towards lawyers come from? Lose a girlfriend in college to a law student?

 
You'dnotcare 2007-03-08 03:09:35 PM  
MisterRPG: Do lawyers and judges write like this to make themselves feel smart or what?

Almost the opposite. We use Westlaw forms, which include a lot of wherefors and hereintos and thuslytherebywiths, so we don't have to be smart.

 
BrotherTheodore 2007-03-08 03:09:50 PM  
Barry Badnirath: Wow. I laughed at your response, but where does the unbridled aggression and hostility towards lawyers come from? Lose a girlfriend in college to a law student?

???

Welcome to Earth.

 
johnc98 2007-03-08 03:12:09 PM  
Shout out to my Tier 4 brutha Barry Badnirath


MisterRPG:
- it's all about obfuscation; take for example doctors using Latin when if you've studied it, the fancy phrases sound pretty silly.

 
Funkmaster Frank 2007-03-08 03:12:10 PM  
Geez, Gray_Calx did someone piss in your corn flakes this morning?

 
southern78 2007-03-08 03:13:36 PM  
If all else fails go to law school. Or so say two friend of mine that went to law school (Yes, that graduated). Seriously only 3 years though to become a lawyer? Mostly memorization also.

Kudos to real lawyers that do public service work and really try hard to make the system better. Too bad its eat up with corrupt lawyers that ruin the image for the rest.

/Most of them are truly parasites of the legal system and contribute nothing to society.

 
You'dnotcare 2007-03-08 03:13:50 PM  
Barry Badnirath: Wow. I laughed at your response, but where does the unbridled aggression and hostility towards lawyers come from? Lose a girlfriend in college to a law student?

Perhaps the most retarded thing I'll see today is your comment.

/welcome

 
mama's_tasty_foods 2007-03-08 03:19:15 PM  
she "withdrew" the pleading so the judge didn't hammer her- basically they allowed her to backtrack a little.

but THEN, she sent angry emails to David Lat about putting her on the intertubes, suggesting that her evil opposing counsel were all behind it, in an attempt to divert attention from her oh-so-important water rights lawsuit. She seems (a) crazy, and (b) determined to let an opportunity to save her own ass slip away. I don't want to make too much of her first pleading- sometimes people do stupid things especially if they know the local judge and feel like having a relationship with them makes it okay to be lax at times. But after withdrawing her pleading, she is making a big mistake by responding to (reasonable) criticism by unreasonably suggesting her opposing counsel and opposing party are evil and somehow "behind" all of this. It's her own goddamn fault and no one else's.

If this were federal court, she would damn sure be getting sanctioned and/or suspended-- even if they'd let her slide on the first (stupid and unprofessional) pleading, they would hammer her for publicly slurring her opposing counsel.

She is just one of those people who sees a second shooter behind every grassy knoll.

 
stay_classy_pdx 2007-03-08 03:21:02 PM  
Gray_Calx: damn, you're angry. And if you "don't give a fark" about this topic, why the hell did you take the time to view these comments, type in your password, and add your own comments. You are a douchebag.

 
You'dnotcare 2007-03-08 03:21:10 PM  
southern78: If all else fails go to law school.

It's true. I got my degree in Philosophy... what the hell else was I going to do?

Mostly memorization also

Not so much. At least, no more than any other field. There are too many statutes, rules, and regulations for memorization to be effective in the practice of law.

 
for good or for awesome 2007-03-08 03:22:31 PM  
I know what you all mean. I had flat Tier the other day. Damn.

 
senator_mendoza 2007-03-08 03:23:16 PM  
links to her myspace anyone???

 
Barry Badnirath 2007-03-08 03:24:13 PM  
Even though You'dnotcare was mean to me, I must back him up here. Double major in economics and history, and once I got tired of bartending, it was lawschool time.

Too damn much to memorize. However, since i do real estate law, I know just enough to do my job and charge large amounts of money (none of which I see because my boss has an expensive wife) to justify my existence. All in all, not worth the time or the student loans.

 
mama's_tasty_foods 2007-03-08 03:26:37 PM  
MisterRPG:
Do lawyers and judges write like this to make themselves feel smart or what?

No, just traditional blather- people learn jargon and it dies hard. One of the best writers in the federal judiciary, Frank Easterbrook, has said "Lawyers tend to be wretched writers, which is odd given that the written word is their stock in trade. Perhaps the problem comes from reading principally the work of other lawyers. Judges and other lawyers should spend more time with books and magazines, where exposition is at a higher level."
http://howappealing.law.com/20q/2004_08_01_20q-appellateblog_archive.html

Easterbrook, and Richard Posner, are judges who are fantastic and imaginative prose writers. They are a rarity. If you think the bit you commented on was a drag, try reading some of the stuff that passes for writing that comes out of most appellate courts- or for that matter a long-ass contract or insurance policy. Good times, good times.

 
southern78 2007-03-08 03:32:00 PM  
You'dnotcare

Ahh Philosophy! Ha I say. Oh well hope your the decent kind of lawyer and not greedy money hound kind. I know both and think the later kind is of no higher social status then a used car salesman. But there are good ones just like any other industry just the nature of the business though I guess.

Not so much. At least, no more than any other field. There are too many statutes, rules, and regulations for memorization to be effective in the practice of law.

Ha, still easier than any other professional career fields that demand further education such as medical or engineering.

Not downing it just the reality of it. Tough job though and hard to bee a ethical decent person sense your most likely tested on those boundaries on a day to day basis.

 
FarkinFarker 2007-03-08 03:33:59 PM  
Barry Badnirath

I just thought I'd be the first one to tell you (if you haven't been told already, that is) that it's actually Barry Badrinath, not Badnirath.

 
You'dnotcare 2007-03-08 03:34:55 PM  
Barry Badnirath

It was the "did you lose a girlfriend" comment that I found distasteful. It sounded like... well, like something a 'lawyer' would say.

I try to be conscious of the way folks view both me and my profession. I've watched my law school buddies turn from a desire to help those who don't have the time to understand the system to a desire for a German car. Our reputation for arrogance is not without merit.

 
Barry Badnirath 2007-03-08 03:36:31 PM  
FarkinFarker

I know. I was aware of the proper spelling from the start, just transposed a few digits. Thanks for the heads up though.

 
kidtruth 2007-03-08 03:38:02 PM  
I'm a published novelist and also a paralegal at an IP law firm and I have got to agree. I think a part of the jurassic language they use is to create this "cult of the law," which helps perpetuate their own usefulness. Also, though, it's a lot of forms - and the way most lawyers learn to write these pleadings (and then continue to do so) is by copying someone else's as a template. Anyway, I agree with mama's_tasty_foods.

-Kid Truth

 
alto_reed_on_a_tenor_sax 2007-03-08 04:07:46 PM  
kidtruth I hate to do this, but since you decided to trash another profession, I feel like I can take this shot guilt-free:

When you have to pay most or all of the fees yourself to get your book published, you do not get to call yourself a "published novelist." What you are is a "customer."

 
veganvenus 2007-03-08 04:23:33 PM  
Barry Badnirath The only people that care about "tiers" are those that attend a "Tier-1" lawschool, and try to make themselves feel better about their horrible lives by trying to bring down "lower tier" lawschools.

Ya, we're all crying into our $160k/year paychecks.

 
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