You would think that they would call them 'purity galas' or 'purity parties'

Well, they're gonna go balling one way or another.

purity balls..

goeniegoegoe: purity balls..

I think you can get em on eBay

This looks like a scene from a David Lynch movie.

It's like a car show, but for hymens

Made me snort my morning coffee a little

+1

submitter: It's like a car show, but for hymens

I lol'd

from TFA: We need to protect our kids, not minimize their human agency. Such attempts might make it easier for us to watch them grow up, but it does them no favors in the end.


/made me chuckle

Any excuse for a party.

nice headline, submitter

"purity balls" ... i thought at first it was a more aggressive chastity belt.

I, for one, have always tried to keep my balls pure.

submitter: It's like a car show, but for hymens

Awesome

Bingo, bango, bajingo!

See! See my fine virgin daughters!

Marriage is a complex and life-altering legal contract. I wouldn't even begin to contemplate buying the cow without having first sampled the milk.

What I'm trying to say here is, I f*ck cows.

Action Replay Nick: I f*ck cows.

Do you prefer Holstein Friesians or Texas Longhorns?

The last Evangelical I dated told me I had purty balls.

Doesn't an article like this make the rounds on here every few months or so and everyone points and laughs and then waits for the next article to come around?

Leave these people alone. They are not hurting you. They are barely hurting themselves. They are doing something they think is right and they are trying to make something special out of it.

maereth: They are not hurting you.

I wish they were.

maereth: Leave these people alone. They are not hurting you. They are barely hurting themselves. They are doing something they think is right and they are trying to make something special out of it.

You could say the same thing about the damn goth kids.

Promise rings from your father are creepy. "Here, honey, I'm goign to safeguard your vagina for you."

That said, every college male should rejoice at the power of this evangelical Christian virginity movement. These things last about six weeks at college...after which, well, FRESH MEAT.

/so going to hell for thinking that

maereth: Doesn't an article like this make the rounds on here every few months or so and everyone points and laughs and then waits for the next article to come around?

FTFA:
At least one dad recounted how he presented his adolescent daughter with a tiny lock. The key he will give to her husband on her wedding day.

These people constantly produce COMEDY GOLD. If they insist on so proudly serving up stuff like this I think it would be rude of us to ignore it.

On another note, I wonder how many of those "virgins" actually are? And even if their hymens are intact, if they take into consideration all the BJs and buttsecks they've participated in when declaring themselves "pure?"

"(At least one dad recounted how he presented his adolescent daughter with a tiny lock. The key he will give to her husband on her wedding day.)"

That's OK. The way I'm hung, I can pick locks with my wing-wang.

2007-02-04 11:35:29 AM TommyymmoT

gives me a new understanding of ear sex...

At least one dad recounted how he presented his adolescent daughter with a tiny lock...

I hope you also presented her with a nice trust fund...that therapy is gonna be expensive.

LyleDAL: On another note, I wonder how many of those "virgins" actually are? And even if their hymens are intact, if they take into consideration all the BJs and buttsecks they've participated in when declaring themselves "pure?"

my ex-fiancée wore a promise ring while we were engaged. her dad would have a coronary if he knew some of the things his precious little 'virgin' did while wearing it

mathmatix

gives me a new understanding of ear sex...

Oh my vigin ears.
I wouldn't hear of such a thing, young people should wait until marriage to make lobe.

Yes, it's PurityControl.

TommyymmoT: I wouldn't hear of such a thing, young people should wait until marriage to make lobe.


APPROVES!

2007-02-04 12:07:32 PM LyleDAL

so would that be deep canaling?

C'mon and suck on my chocolate purity balls

(put em in yer mouth!)

Put em in yer mouth and suck em and suck em!

TommyymmoT
That's OK. The way I'm hung, I can pick locks with my wing-wang.

well the way i am hung, i can pick the lock like the tennis ball vid from yesterday. I just press it up against it and release and the 'pressure' causes the lock to pop.

Is that ear wax or are you happy to see me?

My 14 year old niece told me kids laugh at her in high school because she says she practices abstinence.
I said you practice "chastity", abstinence is for people who could do it cut choose not to, and I don't want to hear about how you "could do it."
Creeping me out at the family holiday party is not nice.
/haven't done it in 4 years, either.

the_gospel_of_thomas: lowest levels of human nature

lowest?

TTIWWP of hymens.

It's like a car show, but for hymens

I can't wait for the 2008 models.

/window seat
//can't believe the rest of you twisted people didn't go there first

the_gospel_of_thomas

Why so testy? Did you lose your keys or something?

They should do like in the Bible and just sell them off.

the_gospel_of_thomas: Hey look, a bunch of people who strive to live their lives with morality and not stoop to the lowest levels of human nature, let's mock them! Har Har Har!

Right...only secular people who strive to live their lives with morality and not stoop to the lowest levels of human nature are worthy of mocking.

It's like a car show, but for hymens

"Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters... sell them to me. Sell me your children."

vudukungfu: Creeping me out at the family holiday party is not nice.
/haven't done it in 4 years, either.

I wasn't kidding about the BJs and buttsecks:

From another article: (pops)

Although teenagers who take "virginity pledges" begin engaging in vaginal intercourse later than teens who have not committed to remain abstinent until marriage, they also are more likely to engage in oral or anal sex than nonpledging virgin teens and less likely to use condoms once they become sexually active

The stories your niece can probably tell you would *really* creep you out.

2007-02-04 12:39:24 PM the_gospel_of_thomas [TotalFark]

Hey look, a bunch of people who strive to live their lives with morality and not stoop to the lowest levels of human nature, let's mock them! Har Har Har!

same could be said of you and certain democrats, never stopped you before...

sucks when shoe is on the other foot eh?

the_gospel_of_thomas: Hey look, a bunch of people who strive to live their lives with morality and not stoop to the lowest levels of human nature, let's mock them!

Morality is attending some weird ceremony to celebrate your sexuality with your Dad? I can only imagine what dysfunctional adults these women will be.

2007-02-04 01:17:01 PM whatshisname

what aboot the folks that pray with snakes, they are only living their life according to their morals.....

i know should be addressed to tgot, but figured it piggy back'd your post a bit...

mikeols: "Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters... sell them to me. Sell me your children."



/closest i could find

megain always followup with a yahoo image search:



it was first page...lol

mathmatix: always followup with a yahoo image search:

it was first page...lol

that, or i need to redefine my search terms. doesn't show up on the first page of the search i did on yahoo

either way, it was a great movie

Sorry. But this is just creepy.


"How can you measure the value of your eleven year old looking up into your eyes (as you clumsily learn the fox-trot together) with innocent, uncontainable joy, saying, 'Daddy, I'm so excited!' wrote Wesley Tullis in a letter describing his grateful participation. 'I have been involved with the Father-Daughter Ball for two years with my daughters, Sarah and Anna. It is impossible to convey what I have seen in their sweet spirits, their delicate, forming souls, as their daddy takes them out for their first, big dance. Their whole being absorbs my loving attention, resulting in a radiant sense of self-worth and identity. Think of it from their perspective: My daddy thinks I'm beautiful in my own unique way. My daddy is treating me with respect and honor. My daddy has taken time to be silly, and even made a fool of himself, learning how to dance. My daddy really loves me!"

There is something just not right about the type of Fundy dad that would do this to his daughter.

/Pic is from a blog post about "purity balls".
//Don't know if the pic is of the quoted dad and little girl.